Don’t watch this at work


Liz Miele gives us a short list of feminist sex positions.

But she only comes up with three. We need more variety than that! So I thought I’d crowdsource it here.

Comments

  1. Thumper: Who Presents Boxes Which Are Not Opened says

    My favourite is “The Equal Pay Act” :)

  2. Azuma Hazuki says

    How about “whatever one she and her partner, whether male or female, both enthusiastically consent to?”

  3. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    A 16 year old guy promises multiple orgasms…for himself. You’ll get a little bit here and there, and hey, he says, in 25 years he’ll make it all up to you, if his attention span lasts that long and if six guys don’t tell him not to disturb the semen under the bridge.

    You walk out.

    It’s called the Lily Ledbetter.

  4. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    You follow your ethics, your passion, and your love to virtually invent microcredit and to singlehandedly create the model of microcredit responsible for innumerable Indonesian families’ prosperity while writing a thousand+ page dissertation containing a decade’s insight into a vital, male dominated industry conducted in a language entirely foreign to the land of your birth, all while giving birth to and raising one of the most intelligent and talented men of his generation that you conceived during consensual sex vaginal/penile sex with your husband only to be accused of being a race-traitor ho-bag who never knew the identity of her child’s father…for 50 years after his birth and more than twenty years after your death.

    It’s called the Ann Dunham.

  5. says

    It’s not a feminist one, but…

    A man masturbates in front of a woman (clothed or not doesn’t matter).
    Any time she tries to talk, he tells her, “Shh!”

    It’s called the Rand Pull.

  6. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    For 5 years you spend each night reading e-mail after e-mail of sexual single-entendres from some guy who pays other people to curate excerpts of reviews of his work that can be used to portray himself as Hume, Descartes and Kerouac all rolled into one, before heading into the office to wipe the semen off his keyboard for two hundred a month and fourth-authorship on your own papers.

    It’s called the Philosophy PhD.

  7. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    You put your tits on display while a 100 guys form four lines to take turns insulting you for having too-small ones, insulting you for having too-large ones, insulting you for not wearing a bra, and snapping your bra-strap until your back is bruised.

    It’s called middle-school.

  8. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Is it just me, or is the ease of this exercise entirely too depressing…?

  9. Grewgills says

    She masturbates on a glass table top while he lies down underneath unable to touch himself. It’s called the glass ceiling.

  10. whirlwitch says

    Two or more cis women engage in various sex acts involving large realistic dildoes while modeling stereotypical macho mannerisms and being sketchy around issues of consent. At the doorway to the room, a trans woman sits quietly while another woman lectures her on how her male energy would disrupt the safe, sacred female space.

    It’s called the Michigan.

  11. robro says

    OK, I’m home from work now, so I finally get to watch this. Funny. Now I’m off to fix my own dinner.

  12. Thumper: Who Presents Boxes Which Are Not Opened says

    A married woman meets a woman on a night out. There is mutual attraction, and they indulge in some mutual masturbation in the toilet. As a keepsake, she films it on her mobile.

    Two days later her husband discovers the video. He is understandably angry.

    She says: “You can’t prove it happened!”

    He says “Don’t be fucking stupid, there’s a video! Her finger is in your vagina!”

    She says: “Ah, but were you there?”

    It’s called the Ken Hand.