Everyone knows the “12-inch pianist” joke, right? Here’s a retelling that changes it in a much more interesting way.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Everyone knows the “12-inch pianist” joke, right? Here’s a retelling that changes it in a much more interesting way.
That went all sorts of unexpected directions. I’m dizzy.
The one guy is just lucky he didn’t end up with whirled peas.
That is actually pretty damn funny. I approve.
Now that you know that, you can all go about your respective days.
Louis
I think this qualifies as an un-joke. An un-joke has the usual set up but with a non traditional punchline usually to subvert usually joke tropes. For example; “Why did the blonde get lost?”
“He was driving cross country and had a malfunctioning GPS.”
Please ignore the second “usually”. I just finished a 12 hour shift.
The classic unjoke:
A Rabbi, a Priest and a Minister walk into a bar. The bartender says “what is this, a joke?”
But what happened to the geese? And were they drawn from every anserine population worldwide?
I’ve never heard an actual joke that involved a rabbi, a priest, and a minister walking into a bar, though I know a number of unjokes with that setup.
Terrible un-jokes are my partner’s bread and butter and I’ve clearly been spending too much time around him. Right around…
…I was laughing too hard to breathe.
Not as punchy as
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
Hemingway: “To die. In the rain.”
a man walks into a bar.
ouch.
@dianne:
You know… neither have I.
A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi were fishing from a boat…………
The minister said to the priest, “We probably should have told him about the stepping stones……”
The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
I’m just left wondering what the genie’s plan is for those geese. Hopefully it’s not something like this:
Step 1: Geese!
Step 2: ???
Step 3: World Peace!
Cactusren @16: Yeah, I was wondering that too, and spent a few minutes coming up with alternatives to the geese that would have made more sense. Perhaps a handful of UN security forces. You know, world police.
Cactusren @12, probably they flew past an Early-Warning Radar and got mistaken for a flight of ballistic missiles, and things nearly went to shit, but everybody realised what was happening and pulled back, and the next day persuaded the government to drop the whole MAD thing and quietly junk the nuclear warheads.
Meanwhile, I used to know a Vicar, a Buddhist monk and a Rabbi joke about a plane going down, but I don’t feel like this is the month for such jokes, and besides, I don’t recall it now.
I don’t know from bars, but I do know a rabbi, minister, priest joke.
A rabbi, a minister, and a priest are out taking a hike together and enjoying god’s creation. It’s a hot day, and after a while, they come across a small waterfall running into a deep, clear pool. They decide to have a dip to refresh themselves, so they shed their clothes and plunge into the icy water. After a short swim, they decide to sun walk on without their clothes for a bit, and dry off in the afternoon sun.
They walk for a time, wearing only what god gave them, and when they get back to their clothes, they see three women standing by the pool and wondering to whom the mysterious garments belong. Strangely enough, each of the women is active in one of the congregations of the three holy men.
The priest steps on a branch and it cracks loudly.
The women whirl around to find the source of the noise, and the three men run for it. The priest and the minister, ever conscious of their modesty cover their genitals with their hands as they run. The rabbi covers his face, leaving his junk to jiggle in the breeze.
As they catch their breath, some distance away, the priest says to the rabbi, “Why didn’t you cover your genitals? Have you no modest?”
The rabbi smiles, and says, “Well, I don’t know about you two, but nobody in MY congregation can recognize me by my penis.
I think that article deserves a standing ovation.
Alteredstory get a thumbs up too.
thank you
Loved it.
That was *awesome*.
A rabbi, an imam and a priest are discussing Jesus.
The rabbi says: “Jesus was a false messiah, you should not follow his teachings.”
The imam says: “Jesus was a prophet of God, but he was not divine himself.”
The priest says: “Wololo wololo” and the others both convert to Christianity.
A Jesuit, a Dominican, and a Franciscan were on an archeologic dig in Palestine. They discovered a tomb that read, “Here lies the remains of Jesu bin Joseph.” They open the tomb and discover the remains of a crucified person.
“Oh, no,” says the Franciscan. “My whole life has been founded on a lie. Everything I’ve worked for has been in error!”
“Crap,” says the Dominican. “Everything I’ve taught people is wrong. I’ve led dozens astray.”
“What do you know,” thinks the Jesuit. “There really was a Jesus.”