Rrrrooooooaaaarrrggghhh


Bigfoot_2012_DVD

This story about the the market for Bigfoot erotica was only plausible up to a point. Obviously, I have no problem believing that an attractive woman might have sex with a hideous hairy grunting beast, and even enjoy it, but the little details tripped me up.

1. The Sasquatch’s name is…Leonard.

2. The author is raking in $30,000/month with her line of cryptozoological porn.

OK, that last one might not be a matter of implausibility, but envy.

Comments

  1. says

    Obviously, I have no problem believing that an attractive woman might have sex with a hideous hairy grunting beast

    “Obviously”?

    Oh.

  2. Trebuchet says

    Not all that different from Anne Rice’s vampire porn, if you think about it.

    $30,000/month. I wonder if there’s a market for catapult porn.

  3. Ichthyic says

    so much new I has learned!

    -there’s bigfoot porn
    -there’s an actual market for bigfoot porn
    -someone has already taken advantage of this market
    -it is a very profitable market

    my mind overfloweth with knowledge.

  4. sugarfrosted says

    @5, no there are exceptions. It’s just that they’re absurdly specific.

  5. The Mellow Monkey says

    There really is a huge market for erotica involving an ordinary woman having sex with (often with the goal of reproduction) a monster. Bigfoot, intelligent talking dinosaurs, tentacle monsters, etc. They’re often thinly disguised rape fantasies as well, with just enough “I am consenting of my own free will” shoved in there somewhere to get past the TOS of the various ebook outlets. Based on reader feedback people I know got*, the audience appears to be predominantly straight women.

    *I used to be part of an indie author group that discovered how they could make massive amounts of money. As I sit here in poverty I kind of regret not following their lead to riches, but there are some things I just can’t do.

  6. weatherwax says

    # 4 Ichthyic: I thought you were going to point to this clip. Starting at 1:45

  7. says

    @6, that’s where Rule 35 comes in: “if there is no porn of it, it must be created”.

    Also, of course some women like sex with hideous, hairy, grunting beasts, otherwise I’d have never managed to have a sexual relationship.

  8. =8)-DX says

    I always thought it was “If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions”.

    One of the most interesting things about this rule is how “old” a lot of the porn about these things is…

  9. playonwords says

    The Greeks and Romans had their fantasies about Centaurs and Satyrs whilst Lancastrians, no doubt, had
    fantasies about Yorkshiremen. It’s been going on for millenia

  10. Ichthyic says

    Yes indeed. Air cannons blow.

    heh…

    but, fwiw, they do use a lot of trebuchets for punkin chunkin as well…. it’s a whole class there in and of itself.

  11. hillaryrettig says

    if a guy cooks and cleans, a lot of women will forgive a little back hair

  12. curbyrdogma says

    R. Crumb did that awhile ago (“Whiteman Meets Bigfoot”), except it was with a man and a female Bigfoot…

  13. borax says

    After all of yesterdays posts and comments I want my funeral to consist of me being hurled via trebuchet into a volcano while a hairiness of bigfoots (bigfeet?) cheer. I’ve decided the term for a group of bigfooties is a hairiness.

  14. Thumper: Who Presents Boxes Which Are Not Opened says

    “I’ve decided the term for a group of bigfooties is a hairiness.”

    I like it :)

  15. borax says

    The hairiness of bigfoots could also be having an orgy if that’s what bigfooties do. I ain’t here to judge.

  16. twas brillig (stevem) says

    re @19:

    R. Crumb did that awhile ago (“Whiteman Meets Bigfoot”), except it was with a man and a female Bigfoot…

    confession: my privilege of maleness made me always think of Sasquatch as only male (without ever even thinking of reproduction, etc), i.e. I never even considered that there would be female Sasquatches.
    Nevertheless, I was beaten to the Rule 34 observation. Too late, I am. [shaking fist at sky]

  17. leftwingfox says

    I’m flashing back to Venture Brothers, and it’s Million Dollar Man/Sasquatch romance.

  18. says

    @6

    I’ve always heard rule 36 – if it exists then there is a fetish for it, and rule 36a, if there is a fetish for it, then there is a porno. Therefore, if it exists, then there is a porn of it.

  19. blf says

    Hang on, hang on! There’s a market for Entwife p0rn ?

    There’s an entwife sleeping in one of my cabinet of curiosities. (Same one with the TARDIS occupied by the extremely angry mouse — not sure if that is a coincidence or not…)

    Entwife p0rn means that if I could wake her up, and she’s agreeable, then $$$profit !

  20. embertine says

    There’s an entwife sleeping in one of my cabinet of curiosities.

    Oh, is THAT where they are.

  21. DonDueed says

    heh…

    but, fwiw, they do use a lot of trebuchets for punkin chunkin as well…. it’s a whole class there in and of itself.

    I have it on good authority that trebuchets do, in fact, swing.

  22. Trebuchet says

    I have it on good authority that trebuchets do, in fact, swing.

    Yes. Yes, they do. I did enjoy the torsion machines in the Punkin Chunkin video since I’m currently building one!

  23. jaytheostrich says

    Must admit, that’s a hell of an ‘O’ face on the cover. ROOOOAAARH!!