Rats. There goes my lesson plan.

It turns out that there are rules against my standard classroom management techniques.

Statute Forbidding Any One to Annoy or Unduly Injure the Freshmen. Each and every one attached to this university is forbidden to offend with insult, torment, harass, drench with water or urine, throw on or defile with dust or any filth, mock by whistling, cry at them with a terrifying voice, or dare to molest in any way whatsoever physically or severely, any, who are called freshmen, in the market, streets, courts, colleges and living houses, or any place whatsoever, and particularly in the present college, when they have entered in order to matriculate or are leaving after matriculation.

Leipzig University Statute (1495)

Wait…freshmen? I’m not teaching any first year courses this semester; cell biology is full of sophomores, cancer biology is juniors and seniors. This rule doesn’t apply! I’m back in business, baby!


  1. John Pieret says

    drench with water or urine

    Okay. I can see the need … sortta … to warn against the former but …

  2. Scr... Archivist says

    I see they had problems with fraternity hazing back then, too.

    Did the freshmen also have to wear beanies?

  3. Holms says

    I thought american students in their first year were called freshmen, sophomores were second year and seniors were final year or something. Who the hell are juniors?

  4. =8)-DX says

    I can already see the students skittering away in all directions as PZ marches, scowling, through the marketplace.

  5. kurt1 says

    Sadly you are not teaching at Leipzig University either. It´s like 1.5 h from here and I could attend some of your lectures or talks.

  6. shouldbeworking says

    My lesson plan for the Grade 12 physics class for the first day was last years Grade 11 final exam.

  7. Louis says

    “Look to your left. Now look to your right. These are the people you will be failing this course with.”


  8. Dr Marcus Hill Ph.D. (arguing from his own authority) says

    Damn it, this is discrimination. I can’t help the fact that my voice is terrifying.

  9. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Did the freshmen also have to wear beanies?

    Of course! This was in da Vinci’s day, after all – his newly invented propeller beanie was all the rage!

  10. weatherwax says

    # 4, John Pieret

    That was my thought. Do they actually have to spell out you shall not through water or urine on the students?

  11. Lonely Panda, e.s.l. says

    I remember that on my first day as a high school freshman there was an announcement reminding everyone that hazing was prohibited. I had never heard of hazing and was too timid to ask my teacher what this was, but I assumed that as long as I stayed on my best behavior I would steer clear of trouble. I was a bit naive back in those days.

  12. lorn says

    Could I interest you in my wide selection of the finest filth and highest quality dusts, all available for a very reasonable price?

  13. carlie says

    “Look to your left. Now look to your right. These are the people you will be failing this course with.”

    I ♥ you, Louis.