Anti-Caturday Post


My efforts to undermine the cat hegemony with much more interesting creatures with spines, slime, and fangs has not made much headway. I must change my tactics. Therefore, taking a cue from some of the comments here, I am deploying the latest weapon in the war on felinity: cuteness. You will not be able to resist.

Comments

  1. laurentweppe says

    Oh many times will I have to say this: the only way to fight the perfidious Cat collective is with puppies.

    But your in your anti-dogist bullheadedness, you refused to convert and give They Who Give Us Puppies their due worship.

    Your failure is the price for your sins Paul Zachary! Repent and become a good Canis-ian: only then will your struggle against the Cat heretics will bear fruit, So barketh the Great Slobering Mutt in the Sky.

  2. magistramarla says

    It’s a step in the right direction. Baby rats are cute because they are soft and furry and look much like kittens – who are the epitome of cute.

  3. mattand says

    But your in your anti-dogist bullheadedness, you refused to convert and give They Who Give Us Puppies their due worship.

    Oh.

    My.

    Dog.

    I can not unsee that.

    You can practically smell the black velvet.

  4. Crip Dyke, MQ, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Caine is going to love this. Although I think Havelock & Sam were quite a bit older than this when she brought them home, the first exploration of the home is always quite amusing. My best friend’s other best friend has had rats for a long time. She was always a bit ecstatic watching her ratties explore her home for the first time.

  5. Rumtopf says

    :D *squeee*
    Look at the tiny ratlings, waddling about on their silly massive feet. Awww they’re grooming the owner’s hand! Me wants them, precious.

  6. jand says

    ava @ 11 cats that look like hitler

    this must be a new world record, you’ve Godwined a thread about kittens and baby rats! :)

  7. madtom1999 says

    For absolute cute on their first day out you cant beat hedgehogs. Their back legs are, for some reason, too long and they crash about in a most endearing way.
    And eat cat food.

  8. StevoR says

    My efforts to undermine the cat hegemony with much more interesting creatures with spines, slime, and fangs has not made much headway.

    Cats have fangs!

    Esecially the saber toothed tiger (smilodon) variety.

    But also domestic moggies too.

  9. theophontes (坏蛋) says

    @ PZ

    I’ll see your “cute” and raise you cute^n!
    (Allan Sherman adds the lyrics to your tune):

    WARNING: Be sure to wear your solar glasses from the Venus transition. You might be blinded by the cute.

    FINAL WARNING: Contains ponies, baby dragons and shit … you have been warned..!!!

    .
    .
    Last chance to back out now….

    .
    .
    .

    OK, You asked for it: Link to Ubercute.

  10. puppygod says

    @4 laurentweppe

    But your in your anti-dogist bullheadedness, you refused to convert and give They Who Give Us Puppies their due worship.

    Uh, is that thing on? Ahem. I just wanted to clearly state that I have absolutely nothing to with that strange cult you promote, and I refuse to accept any worship. (I do accept cookies, though, if you insist).

    Also, I like cats. And rats. And actually think that ratsies are among cutest animals on this planet – somewhere between waterbears and red pandas on cuteness scale.

  11. Tony says

    PZ:

    Therefore, taking a cue from some of the comments here, I am deploying the latest weapon in the war on felinity: cuteness. You will not be able to resist.

    I have to hand it to you, that was pretty darned cute (who knew Pinky and the Brain had so many relatives), but pales in comparison to:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZGVt8sJmNs

    ‘Tis @23:

    Though it is cute, I’m sorry to say it does not top the cuteness of wuvable, huggable, widdle kittens (or bunnies. “It must be bunnies!”)

  12. Tony says

    War on felinity ? Really PZ do you want to battle a lion ?

    Please.
    Do you really think PZ would sully his hands by battling a lion?
    That’s why he has ::minions::
    Round 1: Horde vs Kitty Galore’s Cat-Astrophic Felines

    FIGHT!

  13. Tony says

    Glen:

    The very best reason to have cats, I dare say.

    I thought the best reason to have cats was to rid homes of the scourge of roaches, waterbugs, silverfish and all their ilk.

  14. Tony says

    puppygod:

    (I do accept cookies, though, if you insist).

    Cheese, peanut butter* or charcoal cookies?

  15. jerrycoyne says

    You can’t win this one, P.Z. Ceiling Cat will give you the grace to accept the things you cannot change.

  16. Ava, Oporornis maledetta says

    #15, Jand:

    Yikes, I didn’t mean to!

    #20, StevoR: Cats have spines in their own way. So PZ loses on that one also.

    #22, Theophontes: Yay to the Allan Sherman reference.

  17. puppygod says

    Cheese, peanut butter* or charcoal cookies?

    Whatever have most calories. I’m not fussy eater.

  18. Ava, Oporornis maledetta says

    Theophontes, your warnings were not strong enough . . . lethally cute . . . gotta lie down now . . .

  19. julietdefarge says

    That’s ONE litter?!?
    But yes, they are cute, smart, and I’ve noticed that my friend’ pet rats don’t actually like getting dirty. She tells me that the ones you get in pet stores are dumbed down due to growing up in non-stimulating environments and may even be mentally ill, making them biters. I dunno.

    Best rat video ever- rats swarming the inside of a KFC:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su0U37w2tws

  20. Trebuchet says

    Lambs in the house? What next? And that German Shepherd was not doing its job!

  21. theophontes (坏蛋) says

    @ Audley

    Awwwwwww….

    Chinese Turtle-dragons are pretty common here. You picture reminds me of one (two!) for some reason. Example.

  22. The Rat King says

    We’re already the masters of this planet; we don’t need your approval.

    Ineradicable, unstoppable.

    Everything you build is new shelter for thousands of us, every scrap you throw away; a banquet.

    When you wipe yourselves out, we’ll be the ones gnawing on your bones. When nothing else can move on, the RAT will take over. It happened once before, it will happen again.

    Order another meal that you can’t finish, you glorified monkeys. We’ll be waiting to receive what your bloated self cannot finish.

  23. arctic says

    PZ embracing fuzzy cuteness.

    The Incredible Hulk in pink pyjamas.

    The Alien Holiday Special.

  24. Tony says

    bjorndoolaeghe

    Ooh fresh cat food.

    So okay, granted, little ratsies are cutesies. No matter, they’re still fresh Nom.

    Yes, extra Nom Nom if they’re scattered, smothered and chunked (diced and topped lack a certain visual appeal…)
    aaaaaand I just realized that some people reading this may not be aware of WAFFLE HOUSE. It’s a 24-hour restaurant(I’m only aware of them in the southeast U.S. but they’re probably all over the U.S. to varying degrees) that largely sells breakfast foods (my typical meal is the All Star Special: scrambled eggs, grits, toast, bacon and a waffle). The Nom Nom above refers to the various ways they serve hash browns:
    Scattered (literally scattered on a flat top grille…or is that a salamander?)
    Smothered (covered in sauteed onions)
    Covered (cheese on top)
    Chunked (ham is added)
    Diced (tomatoes)
    Peppered (jalapeno peppers)
    Capped (‘shrooms)
    Topped (their signature chili)
    Country (gravy is added)
    The food they serve is southern style food and I’m not certain if there’s any nutrition to be found in any of their offerings…but at 3:45 in the morning after drinking for the last 4 hours, anything shy of cute rats tend to sound appealing.

  25. Tony says

    Sorry, the rats ate the cheese and the blue creature with big eyes ate the cookie. Peanut Butter it is! On the roof of your mouth (I have *never* done that to my dog…)

  26. Tony says

    Rat King:

    We’re already the masters of this planet; we don’t need your approval.

    I hate to break this to you, but cats took over the mantle of rulers of the Earth a few eons ago.
    I just remembered that I’ve met a few people who refer to cats as “rats with tails*”. Make of that what you will.

    *yes, I know that doesn’t make any sense. Everyone knows rats have tails. They taste great when dipped in chocolate, frozen and used as a garnish in a Chocolate Martini.

  27. puppygod says

    @37 julietdefarge

    That’s ONE litter?!?
    But yes, they are cute, smart, and I’ve noticed that my friend’ pet rats don’t actually like getting dirty. She tells me that the ones you get in pet stores are dumbed down due to growing up in non-stimulating environments and may even be mentally ill, making them biters. I dunno.

    Well, the pet rats are somewhat inbred, though not so much as main strains of lab rats. Still, more than hundred years of breeding for sociability and looks (and not for intelligence) make them somewhat dumber. Not so stupid as wistars, mind you, but not exactly what you call smart.

    Now, wild stock brown Norway rats are badass by comparison. They are cunning and aggressive and I have scars to prove it. By contrast, I’ve never been bitten by any of pet rats of my friends or by any of the hundreds of wistars I have handled. I mean they sometimes did catch my finger or ear with their teeth, but it was either playful or warning – pinch at best and never hard enough to break the skin. BNs goes for the artery.

    Though biting have more to do with proper handling than genetics – rats should be trained to get accustomed to humans when they are couple of weeks old. One of the best jobs I had during college years was petting a batch of hundred of young female wistars – you took one, petted it for couple of minutes, and then took another and so on for couple of hours day by day. That way when time has come for behavioural experiments they though nothing about being handled by humans. Ah, now that was cuddliness overload.

  28. julietdefarge says

    @Puppygod. Thanks for drawing a clear line between wild and ‘designer’ rats. And I’m still boggled by the fecundity.

  29. The Rat King says

    @Tony
    I hate to break this to you, but cats took over the mantle of rulers of the Earth a few eons ago.
    I just remembered that I’ve met a few people who refer to cats as “rats with tails*”. Make of that what you will.

    No; we’ve let them be worshiped by you lot because cats are predictable, lazy and useful; they appeal to your weak human senses, though there are still some hold-outs of the human race that do not treat them the way we would like.

    New Zealand and Australia for instance; they are shot and killed on sight.

    But they’ll give in eventually and install our puppets in every home…

    By the way; do you know why cats don’t go into the sewers of places like New York? Natural selection; the ones dumb or brave enough to do it were weeded out of the gene pool.

  30. geocatherder says

    A belated *SQUEEE!* But my fondness for rats goes waaaay back; a dorm-mate had a pet rat my Sophomore year of college (C.E. 1974) and I grew to appreciate the little critters. Then my then-boyfriend tended rats at a biology lab (C.E. 1976) and I got ever more impressed by the little critters. Boyfriend wasn’t so impressed; he’d grabbed an escaping rat by the tail, and the rat, quite understandably, turned around and bit him HARD. No love lost between those two… Finally, the Senior Engineer I Most Admired during my first job stint kept pet rats. Bill was the kind of software guru who could load extraordinarily complex software on the system and go home… because Bill’s stuff Always Worked The First Time. I soooo admired him… who, in that situation, couldn’t admire his rats, also?

  31. geocatherder says

    Oh, but I have to admit where my heart lies: with the two rescue cats who run my life.