Maybe he and I are going to have to have a competition to see who gets the nastiest letters. We do get a slightly different perspective on Christianity than most, I think, since our view is of a near-constant flow of letters like this one:
Warning! Uses Christian language!
(Click for larger image)
(Click for larger image)
I’ve got a little stack of similar letters growing on my desk, too. Although, to be fair, most are less scatological abuse, and more whining about how I’m so awfully hateful, but fortunately Jesus will toss me into a lake of fire soon.
Well at least they conduct themselves respectfully.
I thought “most sincerely yours” was a nice touch. It’s best to not completely forget one’s manners when writing to call someone a “pigshit cunt”.
From Bellevue. Probably one of the psychiatric wards.
Wow.
You should submit this to passiveagressivenotes.com … except it’s much more active than passive. That’s ok, though, aggressive letters of these sort are always good for pointing and laughing.
Interesting that he takes a breath to take a swipe at Micheal Shermer as well.
I would like to know if characters like these ever get any flowers from Jesus.
Sorry, I can’t spell.
There are (obviously) two gs in aggressive.
If this weren’t so sad, it would be funny. In fact I must admit I chuckled a bit at his “most sincerely yours” part and his signatures. Oh well….
Yea?! YEA?! Well… YOUR MOM!
My favorite is the PS. “In case you didn’t get it from the rest of my letter, I am very displeased with you.”
Did I see a niner in there?
That someone like this so readily signs his name makes me wonder if it’s not actually the name of some poor innocent sod whose reputation he wants to smear.
I especially was impressed by the thoughtfulness of providing a copy of Dawkins’ own work, in case he hadn’t bothered to read it prior to receiving this letter.
The entire thing reminds me somewhat of the Young Ones episode in which they write a letter to the bank that begins “Dear Fascist Bully-Boys” and ends “May the Seed of Your Loins Be Frutful in the Belly of Your Woman”.
You have to give the guy some points for not being wishy-washy about his feelings.
Did he just call Richard Dawkins a pig?
“Elitist 8British or otherwise] oaf” is a hard balancing act to pull off. Most oafishness knocks off elitism points and vice versa. Congratulations on achieving that Prof. Dawkins!
@312: It went “Darling fascist bully-boy. Give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loins be fruitful in the belly of your woman. Neil. ” They dismissed “Dear” because it was to much like an invitation to sex.
bsk: Why should they be ashamed? They’re doing the Lord’s Work!
“Send me more money, you bastard.”
And it was “Darling Fascist Bully Boy” (“I don’t like the ‘dear.’ Sounds a bit too much like, ‘Will you go to bed with me?'”)
Matt beat me to it.
“Elitist [British or otherwise] oaf” is a hard balancing act to pull off. Most oafishness knocks off elitism points and vice versa. Congratulations on achieving that Prof. Dawkins!
@312: It went “Darling fascist bully-boy. Give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loins be fruitful in the belly of your woman. Neil. ” They dismissed “Dear” because it was to much like an invitation to sex.
Tee-hee-hee! He said “elitist.”
Ah, the fine (?) art of epistolary logomachy…
And they say that literacy is dying.
Say, isn’t Michael Shermer one of those nice, polite accommodationists?
He didn’t say “i’ll pray for you” at the end…not what i call a proper christian at all.
Also wasn’t it particularly erm…dumb…to include his address? What with us being so evil and everything.
OK, so since the author calls Richard an “elitist” does that mean that the author is a Republican also?
There’s an anesthesiologist Peter Colley at the University of Washington. Without knowing more about him, I too (like bsk #11) would consider the possibility that someone else is trying to besmirch his name. In fact, the King County parcel map records list the address on the letter as belonging to a Craig Thurber.
I am also tickled by the fact that there’s a return address.
“Dear Mr Colley,
Thank you for your letter of 6th September, the contents of which have been duly noted.
Most sincerely yours,
R Dawkins
PS Up yer pipe”
Matt & TSG:
I stand corrected and am tickled pink that not only are The Young Ones instantly recognizable, but that someone has an excellent memory for the lines.
The signing _and_ printing of the writer’s name, the addition of his/her/it’s address, citation of sources, and usage of proper dating techniques all gave it a very professional appearance, indeed.
Of course, letters like these aren’t sent by real Christians…
The article he included (and I can only assume is what he is so upset about) is from 2004.
Maybe it his a little too close to home?
It’s here, if anyone is interested.
Randy:
I remembered “Darling” and why but I cheated and Googled the rest.
Sorry about double post. browser exploded.
One of the greatest British TV exports ever.
P.S.
XOXOX
I cheated. But I do remember the episode.
“Turd?” Now he’s crossed the line!
And all I can think of is… “Now go away, or I shall taunt you another time!”
Wow – is it possible that this guy is one of the top rated anesthesiologists in the Seattle area? Probably a different guy. He does have a nice house though.
He’s probably been pestering his pharmacist for Geriniol and only just had the joke explained to him.
(Odd that he uses the British spelling of “arsehole”. From the rest of the letter, he doesn’t seem much of an Anglophile.)
From whitepages.com, I got the following for Pete Colley at that zip code.
P. Colley
16036 SE 47th Ct
Bellevue, WA 98006-4703
(425) 644-5348
FWIW
I don’t know. The whole thing screams of joe job.
I think that posting personal information about this person is just as despicable as the content of this letter. I would recommend that comment #38 be ignored and deleted.
I wonder if you could cross-reference enough of these to see if different hot-under-the-collar-red-in-the-face letters from different Xian sects have similar traits. It’d be interesting to see if say, Baptists use the word “pigshit” more often than methodists, or if “I’m praying for you” comes up most in say, Catholic letters. A sort of reference guide for kooks and their many flavors
I can hear John Cleese reading it, especially the “most sincerely yours” at the end.
Well his info is on the letter as well. Minus the phone number.
But yeah. Probably unnecessary.
It isn’t anything that can’t be found with five minutes of googling. It’s not like he posted his social security number.
Which, by the way, is @#!$%@$^$%^@%^NO CARRIER
I’m also reminded of this:
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/curse_levels.jpg
To be fair though, it’s the same information available on the mail Prof. Dawkins received. It’s entirely possible that it’s a fake, or an attempt to get someone in trouble, but #38 was pointing out that it’s a legitimate address.
I think possibly #38 should be removed AND the letter modified to hide such information, as otherwise some well-meaning reader might leap to the conclusion that the person at that address actually sent the letter and take some form of action.
#40 – I don’t know if it’s that despicable. I’d just be concerned that it’s someone posing as Mr. Colley.
And you see how they only send this kind of hate mail to us meek athiests, because they know the kind of violent reprisals they’d get if they said this sort of thing about Catholics . . .
Poe’s Law comes to mind.
Fatwah-envy-envy!
… or something.
I agree that the guy is an asshole, but do we really need to fall to his level by bombarding him with hate mail?
That said, I am constantly confused by this charge of arrogance against atheists. I get that we athiests do have a ‘we’re smarter than you’ attitude, but compared to the arrogance of believers, its miniscule.
Is there any claim in the universe more arrogant than: “there is a God who loves me, and I know more about the universe than you through revelation [whereas atheists prefer investigation].”
Which has always been the centerpiece argument against God for me: that we are too small. As Carl Sagan noted, if the universe had existed for only a year, human civilization would be fewer than 10 seconds old. Coupled with the fact that we live in one small planet, orbiting one of billions and billions of stars, in one of billions and billions of galaxies, slowly decended from small single celled life. And then our species has the arrogance to not only demand, but to EXPECT that our conciousness will go on forever, that we will know all things, and that we will be eternally pleasured by the being that created all this. That is profound arrogance, of a magnitude so large that it pales in comparison to the small ‘we’re smarter than you’ dance of the atheists.
British Elitist Turds is the name of my next punk band, how’d he know???
PZ said,
It must be terribly hard for them to decide if they want eternal torment of hell or eternal embrace of Jebus for you.
They should just come out and say what their really thinking:
“Jebus looooooves you so much, he’ll give you eternal torment.”
Is he just a pig or a full blown “FEEEEEELTHY PEEEEG!” as they say in, um, some… place where they say that?
Wow, that brings back memories. Now I feel old. Thanks! :(
Letters like that make the ex-fundamentalist in me shake his head. Back in his day, most of those words were on my verboten list. And neither I nor anyone I hung with thought that a torrent of mindless abuse (even avoiding the bodily-function vocab) was a Good Idea, either in terms of individual effectiveness or general PR. So where the hell do knuckle-draggers like this come from? Did I just run with a better class of Christian, or what? (OK, this was in Canada, so maybe that made us polite).
I think most, if not all, are suggesting quite the opposite, Especially since there’s a good possibility it was forged.
“of a magnitude so large that it pales in comparison to the small ‘we’re smarter than you’ dance of the atheists.”
Wait, that didn’t make sense.
I meant:
…of a magnitude so large that the atheist’s ‘we’re smarter than you’ dance pales in comparison.
Well, it depends heavily on local dialects. Down in Bayou country there can be as many as seven gs.
Jason asked,
Turnabout is fair play.
Though, you might want to save that question for when people start proposing violence against this person….which I don’t see that they have.
As soon as I typed it, I said to myself, “there’s probably three people here that will get that.”
That’s so monumentally apoplectic that it’s more funny than threatening!
Boom Shanka!
I guess Dawkins is definitely off his Christmas card list then?
Darby @ #42:
That’s a brilliant idea! I wonder if he would be interested in reading all of the hate-mail PZ and Dawkins get? It would sell like hot-cakes… or fish ‘n chips, take your pick.
#47 Inquisition envy …
Owlmirror #21 wrote:
Yes and no. Shermer wrote:
That’s not quite like saying “there’s no conflict between science and religion.” It’s more like saying “be careful to keep your God away from science, or science will eliminate it.”
nyaah-nyaah-nyaah-nyaah, sticks and stones
#50
Makes you feel so…sort of insignificant, doesn’t it?
The point is well taken. My intent was simply to show that it was a valid address, because earlier someone had written that there was a different name listed for the parcel. I copied and pasted directly from whitepages.com. It took all of 30 seconds and anyone could have done so. I think most of the commentators here have learned from the last episode of the guy on his wife’s flower account – I don’t think we’ll have a rush to flame this guy.
I was thinking more along the lines of this.
Well, this is wonderful! We should all dispatch letters to Messr Colley post haste.
I have said it before, and I’ll say it again:
When people are this pissed off, you know you’re doing something right.
South Park has proven this countless times. :)
He seems to be obsessed with pigs. This is not healthy.
It would have been easier to read had he typed it. At least he can spell all the four-letter words correctly.
(.)(.)
I’m really interested in the article that elicited this kind of response (I can’t read it from the image).
This response is so incredibly angry, Richard must have really pressed this guys buttons, and now I want to know what has got him so upset. I would have thought this type of response says an awful lot about the psychology behind the person writing it.
Can anyone fill me in on where this article might be found online, or the basic gist behind it? I need to feed my insatiable curiousity regarding the modus operandi of these people.
Dawkins is a big boy. He can handle it.
Although, if it were me, I’d send it back with constructive criticism and correct the grammar and spelling.
Jeez, does he ingest transubstantiated Jesus bread with that mouth. That must desecrate it far more than PZ’s stunt did.
GunofSod #74: there’s a version here:
http://www.anst.uu.se/dla05000/Gerin%20Oil.html
It seems to be about five years old, though. Maybe it’s been published more recently in the US?
http://richarddawkins.net/article,122,Gerin-Oil,Richard-Dawkins
Seven g’s? Wow, that’s heavy, man.
I think it was the late Congressman Mo Udall who used to respond to angry constituents like this:
Dear Mr. Colley;
Some jackass is writing stupid letters and using your name. I just thought you’d want to know.
That’s nothing. The girls in my neighborhood put something like four vowels in the word “no”.
Dear P. Colley,
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elder berries.
Regards,
The Dawk
I am now suffering from Cleesian paracusia…
Without question the absolute best way to reply to a message like this, as far as I’m concerned, is with a form letter response.
“Dear Sir,
Thank you so much for your letter; unfortunately, I receive such a high volume of mail, I cannot personally respond to all of them personally.
Thank you for you continued interest in my works.”
Or some similar message (penned by Dawkins himself, if possible), and then enclose a signed copy of the God Delusion.
It’s a win-win! If the letter is an attempted smear, it’s harmless. If the guy is being genuine, he may just explode.
Obviously it is Dawkins’ review of Gerin Oil that started this hysterically funny rant. Perhaps Mr. Colley is a snake oil salesman and doesn’t appreciate Schermer’s & Dawkins’ habit of debunking junk science. Forensic investigators would have no problem getting DNA from the spittle drenched page.
I’m betting Mr. Colley depleted his reserve of scatalogical perjoratives. “I spit on shit…”
Evidently spit trumps shit in his perverse little version of rock-paper-scissors.
Slight correction:
“I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.”
“You eat shit for breakfast?”
“Um, no.”
Oops, non sequitur/editing malfunction. damn.
Well at least he didn’t send it using his wife’s 1-800-flowers email account….
1″I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!”
2″You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?”
1″…NO……..”
Anyone who uses three exclamation points is clearly deranged.
Yep. This explains why I can’t find a contact phone number for Dawkins on the internet. *sigh*
#85 — Shouldn’t that be I’m hoping or I Hope?
Ummm…that is in my neighborhood. I could probably walk to this guys house. And I’m not kidding.
(Sigh) – My subtlety is wasted again.
Seven G’s – heavy. Get it?
(Ask Phil Plait)
Yes.
The Gerin Oil article is interesting, just finished reading it on the web.
The guy writing the mail is obviously either emotionally instable or posing to be such… However, deducing from the context that he must be a Christian (“Warning! Uses Christian language!”) is far-fetched to say the least. I understand many other letters may be much more specific about that. This one is, however, clearly not.
The remark should have been avoided.
Aaaah.
It’s a time-release joke.
Hahahahahahahaha….classic, it’s from someone who lives near my mother. Shall I drop by and thank them for the letter?
Looks like the dude has a graveyard in his backyard:
http://maps.google.ca/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=16036+47th+court,+bellevue,+WA,+98006&sll=49.891235,-97.15369&sspn=44.15833,79.101563&ie=UTF8&cd=1&t=h&ll=47.561053,-122.126003&spn=0.001403,0.002414&z=19
First, it only says he’s using “Christian language” (as has been evidenced by the letters sent by Christians during crackergate), not that he is necessarily Christian himself.
Second, it’s a joke. Lighten up.
What a friend we have in Jebus. Postal altruism.
Strange. I thought that letter ended “Boom Shanka” or something like that. I must be getting old …
Anyone care to do a graphological analysis? (heh) He writes nicer than me, but I still can’t read it all.
Let’s see…American male named Peter Colley writing to Richard Dawkins in response to an anti-religion column, calling him, among other things, “elitist” and managing to slam Michael Shermer in the process.
You’re right, I don’t know where one could possibly reasonably conclude that the writer was a Christian as we have not yet received his personal testimony on the subject. Similarly, I have no clue if the sun will rise tomorrow, since I have not yet seen it directly for myself.
[Which, by the way, is @#!$%@$^$%^@%^NO CARRIER]
Boy, does that bring back memories, not all good, of 120 baud acoustical modems.
Too many nutjobs in this country. This one needs to scurry back under his rock.
@Sili: It was going to be “Boom Shanka”, but they decided they’d better write it out in full since the bank manager wouldn’t understand it.
Of course, the punchline was that the letter never got sent–having no money to buy fuel, they’d already burnt everything else in the house to keep warm, so they burnt it as well.
(I am gratified to see so many Young Ones geeks here.)
@Peter: Well, obviously he wasn’t a TRUE Christian…
That’s two. Perhaps my estimate was high.
Not what I expected. I was thinking wooden shack with a tar-paper roof.
Guess struck oil, when “shootin at some food”
Open up!
Its the pigs!
(Another ‘Young Ones’ reference)
“putrid, verminous burke” should read “putrid, verminous berk”, short for the rhyming slang “Berkley hunt”. Curious that the author uses British rhyming slang but doesn’t seem to consider himself British. A muslim perhaps?
Scratch that. I just saw tha address at the top.
Someone should point out to these fundies that physical letters do not get them entered into the Million Comment contest running until the end of the month. For shame!
I’ve always found British rhyming slang fascinating. I don’t know why. The first time I heard it was in “Ocean’s Eleven” when Basher says “We’re in Barney” *blank looks* “Barney Rubble” *more blank looks* “Trouble!”
I’m reminded of the Young Ones every time I eat lentils. It made me believe that they’re only for hippy vegetarians, but I quite enjoy them (especially in a curry, hmmm). It’s just that I can’t help picturing Neil dropping a huge pot of lentil soup on the floor in one of the mayhem scenes.
I was bemused as well by the use of “burke” and then getting the spelling wrong. Did he just google for “the worst British insult” when he ran out of scat-related ones?
I suspect that the author was trying to use “British” insults when writing to a “British elitist turd”, but didn’t get them quite right. (It’s actually quite hard for a non-Brit to do.)
I’ve never understood why indignant people assume their object of obsession gives two flying squirrels about them. Especially if their hand-writing is so poor that reading the letter is a chore.
Perhaps Richard should send a response letter in which he pretends to have received a warm, inviting letter inquiring about his well-being from a friend. He can pick some arbitrary names and inquire about their well-being, and he can wish the author good luck with his cabbage farm.
The clipping the writer sent with his screed is recognizably from Free Inquiry magazine, where the essay was published in December, 2003. I’m a subscriber and I’m pretty sure they haven’t run it again.
I work in the same building as this guy. Although based on his office location we seem to be at opposite ends of a VERY long building. Still, it’s only a few hundred meters, an easy walk.
I’m not sure I believe this is the same guy though, based on his picture on the anesthesiology website where he is listed as retired. I have a hard time imagining that kind of language coming out of the mouth (pen) of an 80 year old man with interests in “tennis, boating” as opposed to “batshit nonsense, cursing”. But perhaps I just need to work on my imagination.
It works both ways, of course. I cringe when Dick Francis, a writer I otherwise quite admire, tries to make his American characters sound American. It never quite works.
Hang on, I just realised he first used “cunt” and later on “burke”. Did he feel the need to tone it down a bit after the first paragraphs? Or did he go for the thesaurus?
Hearing a clearly middle-class, middle-aged, white-bread male[1] try to speak street makes me cringe. I really wish they’d stop doing it in sitcoms to get a laugh. It’s not funny.
[1] Being one makes it all that much worse.
Sastra: That’s not quite like saying “there’s no conflict between science and religion.” It’s more like saying “be careful to keep your God away from science, or science will eliminate it.”
It goes the other way to. Push religion to it’s natural extreme (easily seen in the wild), and scientific questions become reduced to ultimate teleology.
You have to decide beforehand what mode you will use for every question – they never give the same answer, or even type of answer.
Another example is a power/propaganda approach where every question is reduced to a question of “who gains?”
Fo’ shizzle.
The Lake of fire might well be somewhere among those 10,000 lakes in Minnesota, or maybe up in Manitoba, which is pretty darned lakey too. I’d check up near Gimli or Flin Flon.
Giskard@#109. It’s BerkSHIRE Hunt, fact-fans! There are at least 2 rhyming slangs in the UK, London and Glasgow. Leading to the surreal exchange:
“He’s brown!”
“What? Brown bread? Dead?”
“Naw. Brown breid! Deid!”
Even Mrs DaveH (who’s English) now uses: “I havenae got a Scooby” [clue]
I love that the address is on there — I’m in Seattle, I could bus over and knock on this guy’s door easily.
“berk”, short for the rhyming slang “Berkley hunt”. – Giskard
Berkshire hunt, I think. The misspelling “burke” suggests the writer doesn’t know the origin of the word – and maybe derives from James Burke?
I telephoned the Department of Anesthesiology at the University of Washington, and ascertained that the address given at the head of this charmingly euphemistic letter is NOT the address of Dr Peter Colley, the anesthesiologist. So I don’t think it is an attempt to besmirch a blameless doctor.
If anybody is interested in my ‘Gerin Oil’ article, which prompted this response, it is reproduced at
http://richarddawkins.net/article,122,Gerin-Oil,Richard-Dawkins
I am a little sceptical that a man of Mr Colley’s mental attainments is capable of noticing the anagram that is the basis for my article, so I am left wondering what prompted his reaction. I am also somewhat puzzled as to what might lead a man of Mr Colley’s (presumably religious) persuasion to be reading Free Inquiry in the first place.
Richard
At first I saw the line in the article about the Salem witch trials, and assumed Dawkins was talking about ergot poisoning (couldn’t remember the name for it at the time). Peter’s unexplained stream of epithets was rather confusing given that.
Thanks to those who linked the full article by Dawkins. It’s hilarious, and beautifully spot-on.
I have put up a reading of Mr. Colley’s letter. Download it here or listen here.
I apologise: at the very end, with the P.S., I lose it a little.
I’ll be the third. 120 baud! Ouch! I thought I had it bad with 300.
He might have a son (or even a grandson, if he is 80) named after him that it is intended to smear.
Yikes,
This lunatic lives about 10 minutes from me…i better watch my back…
The Gerin Oil piece also appears in Hitchens’ compendium The Portable Atheist, for those who like to read in the good old fashion way.
Tsk-tsk! Have none of you noticed that the writer insulted Dawkins’ mother?
Dawkins will definitely have to call Mr.Colley out for that.
I work in Bellevue. Would you believe that the East Side (east of lake washington) is one of the highest educated regions in the country…
You haven’t lived unless you’ve tried to connect at 300 baud to an MVS/ISPF system, which wants to repaint the entire screen every time you hit enter.
No, I take that back. You’ve lived just fine. Better, in fact.
Now, I’m convinced. You can say absolutely anything with an English accent and have it sound polite.
We still need John Cleese to do a reading, though. No offense, but you sound too much like Christopher Hitchens.
Luxury!
or better yet, i could shit in a bag, and leave it at his front door with a note saying its Dawkin’s shit, and to feel free to spit on it to his hearts content…
HA HA. Since the sender’s address is here for all to see, there is a fabulous place to send all your growing piles of junk mail … just make sure to clip your own addresses off and bombard him. Forget the postage … just put his address as the sender and receiver and let him deal with the overflow …
None taken. Cleese is rather harder to do as it’s got a moderate RP twang, bordering on a conservative RP. Hitchens is drunken RP, and my son-of-hippies/local-comprehensive-school-with-the-chavs accent is close. The similarities end there, though: I’m close to completely sober, don’t wear linen suits or hand around with Al Sharpton.
300 baud?
You were lucky.
We ‘ad to make do wi’ a couple o’ tins an’ a piece o’ string!
As a Brit who has been on the receiving end of US vitriol at times, I’m disappointed that I wasn’t able to complete my bingo card with a reference to our alleged bad teeth.
I’m sincerely puzzled. What is the point of reading something aloud, when we can presumably all read it for ourselves? Am I missing something?
I understood everything up to “None taken.” ;)
Earlier in the thread, someone mentioned how it reminded him of the Young Ones letter to their bank manager, which led to speculation on how funny it would be if John Cleese read it. This is where it landed.
Prof Dawkins,
As tsg explains, Americans (and Danes, too) are ridiculously enarmoured by ‘British’ accents.
Tom Morris is a bit too young to really make an impact, but it’s getting there.
#144 – Richard Dawkins: for fun. Because I had five minutes to kill and wanted a giggle. And also because the original stored as an image, and blind people can’t read images.
Dawkins #144,
“I’m sincerely puzzled. What is the point of reading something aloud, when we can presumably all read it for ourselves? Am I missing something?”
Reading hate mail outloud is funny. You should know that.
Richard Dawkins:
The accent and the performance really add a great deal to the text.
Everyone who’s taken a sociology class knows that these kinds of threats are the refuge of the philosophically inept, of those who fail on every level to construct the fundamental principles of an argument.
They’re mockable because they’re idiots, but they’re frightening because they are so dearly committed to their own delusions.
String? You had string?
Comment #4
Posted by: Eli | September 18, 2008 10:21 AM
“You should submit this to passiveagressivenotes.com … except it’s much more active than passive.”
I thought spammers were not tolerated here! Don’t go there, you’ll get hit by pop ups windows!
Oh OK, that’s a reason I can understand.
Here’s some more hate mail, which is mildly funny:
Richard
Regarding the spelling of “burke” vs “berk”. I can remember as a child using the word “burke” as slang for an idiot or a moron so that could well be this chap’s intention rather than “berk”. Combine that with our anglicized spelling of arsehole and I am forced to come to the conclusion that the author of this fine literary piece may well be Australian.
Peronally I think its Ken Ham finally blowing a valve.
Well, I wasn’t going to comment, but yes, it brings back memories. I can’t remember all my AT codes though, ++++ to d/c, ATDT ###-#### to connect, AT M1 or something to hear the connection but have silence once connected?
TSG wrote, “That’s two. Perhaps my estimate was high.”
I’ll be three. I well remember the day we were able to upgrade from our 75 baud to 300 baud.
We were screaming then!
My gosh, even when writing by hand, these guys use all capitals! Now if he could work on his font (comic-sans, of course), it’d be perfect.
This is the real website that Eli referred to:
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/
So I stand corrected. I just hate spam and pop-ups, that’s all.
When I upgraded my 300 baud to 1200 baud, I remember thinking, “I’ll never need anything faster. This is faster than I can read!”
For more insane hate mail sent to Dawkins, see this on his own website:
http://richarddawkins.net/theUgly
No, he’d still need to use seven different colored pens in the same sentence.
300 baud?
You were lucky.
We ‘ad to make do wi’ a couple o’ tins an’ a piece o’ string!
“You had String?”
We called it string, really it was a soggy noodle; what with living in a lake. But it was string to us.
It is really bad form to publish this fool’s address. Shame on PZ and the douche who thought it was clever to search for a name to go with it. Did it occur to no one that this person is probably mentally ill?
Fuckers.
“Why, when I was younger we had to tap out the ones and zeros by hand to a guy listening on the other end of the line!”
And, because it’s such a good setup line, I can’t resist:
“You had ones?”
The fool himself did it in the letter.
I think that is the general consensus.
jim (#114):
Well, when we Brits want to insult someone, we generally don’t prefix every epithet with the word “British”, since it’s either going to be redundant (for a fellow Brit) or inaccurate (for a non-Brit).
Seems to annoy the Scots pretty well though :)
The name and address are printed on the letter itself; the search merely confirms that the name and address also exist in the public phone directory.
Whether the name is the real name of the letter writer or not is a different question.
In addition: A search for “Colley” in the general area also turns up a “Colley, Dr. Peter S.”, who lives in Seattle (close to the University, if I am not mistaken), who I presume is the anaesthesiologist mentioned above. I see no reason to conflate the two individuals.
How about sending him some love-mail? It sounds like he could use some. I still have that “Congrats on coming out of the closet” card I picked up at Hallmark a few weeks ago…
As has been pointed out, the name and address are not necessarily from the same as the person who sent the letter.
Let’s start a Young Ones admiration society.
Vegetable rights and peace!
“Look, Rick, I’ve got twelve pairs of arms!”
From RD’s Ugly page:
I hate it when people fart in my face.
Also… I don’t know why I compelled to admit there here, but I didn’t “get” the Gerin Oil article until the 3rd paragraph. Brilliant. The article. Not me. Obviously.
Grrrr.
Edit function needed badly.
You know, the beauty of this diatribe from allegedly Peter Colley is that more people are reading the article he’s complaining about. And appreciating it.
If I was Prof. Dawkins, I’d be sending him a thank you note.
Way to go, Peter.
Your fifteen minutes of fame have arrived and, boy, do they reflect badly on you!
Dd you know that :
Mashcati Oil is an extra virgin version of Gerin Oil, and the most commonly used in Europe, South America and Africa.
No, no, Epinephrine – to annoy the Scots you call them English. A good way to annoy Brits in general is to confuse “British” with “English”.
Sorry,
Mischtac Oil, not Mashcati !
Teehee! That was the hardest I’ve laughed all day.
What I’m wondering is why this guy was reading Free Inquiry in the first place when his intellectual prowess is that of a well-chewed piece of gum stuck underneath some unfortunate desk.
Dammit, if ever there was a time to proofread, it’s when writing an anagram. You just wasted ten minutes of my time!
I enjoy thinking that the writer of the above letter really did hijack Mr. Colley’s name and address because it’s fun to speculate about the offense Mr. Colley must have committed to inspire someone to send a nasty letter to a prominent British atheist in his name.
Re: #40, the request that another comment be “ignored and deleted” reminded me of another Young Ones episode, where they are studying on the train to appear on University Challenge.
Rick: “Just shut up and tell me the answer!”
Neil: “Shut up AND tell you the answer?”
I’m glad I’m not the only one.
And, just because it really happened, I put “catholicism” in the anagram generator, and nearly crap myself laughing when it spits out “Comical Shit”.
To make it even better, the tag line on the anagram generator says, “Did you know that parliament is an anagram of partial men? Or, Clint Eastwood an anagram of Old West Action? Someone once said, “All the life’s wisdom can be found in anagrams. Anagrams never lie.” Here is your chance to discover the wisdom of anagrams.”
Mike: Neil, it is very rare you interest me, but today you have. Why do you keep coming in here, carrying a cake, and saying surprise?
Neil: It’s my birthday.
Mike: Now you knew that anyway, and we don’t care, so where’s the surprise?
Never mind me, I’m going upstairs to listen to my Steve Hillage album.
Oh no, my bed’s on fire again…
not all good, of 120 baud acoustical modems.
120 baud!? Geez, what a spoiled brat. You some Rockefeller kid?
I had to manually speak the “one” and “zero” patterns to friends on the other end of the connection. In the snow. Uphill. And so on. It took the thrill out of downloaded porn, I’ll tell you that for nothing!
“One one zero zero one zero one one one zero… wow, she’s looking hot… wait, where was I? Dammit!”
MissPrism@180,
As an English immigrant to Scotland, I have to partially disagree – many English scarcely distinguish “English” from “British”, so would not notice them being confused (there has been some recent change here, in response to Scottish and Welsh devolution). A lot of English can be annoyed by calling them European, of course (please do this when visiting – those whom it annoys, deserve to be annoyed).
Many Scots would not be pleased at being described as British (though not nearly so peeved as if described as English!), although they’d admit that the description was correct at a purely geographical level. Same applies to the Welsh. Then of course there’s northern Irish Unionists, who call themselves British but haven’t lived in Britain for centuries…
Rick, pulling a tampon out of Jennifer Saunder’s purse: “Oh look! There’s a telescope in here! With a little mousie inside! Bouncy, Bouncy!”
nice one, man.
Fish Rising, or Green?
Or Unidentifiiiiiiiiiied?
@191 /contd
you annoy them by calling them Irish – and the rest of the Irish, by calling them British. Clear?
Yay! I get to use my line!
You had ones?
Nick, perhaps you’re right and I’m a special case! I’m English-born and Scottish-raised, but I lived in the States for a while – being asked “Are you British, or Scottish?” almost every time I met someone really made me grind my teeth…
(didn’t mean to capitalize “unidentified.” And I forgot (yawn) Rainbow Dome Music)
And of course, the best one:
Neil: “What are you doing with my crucifix, Rick?”
Rick: “Protesting!”
Neil: “I don’t wanna bring you down or anything, but I think that is a really negative way to try and kill yourself, I mean I tried it hundreds of times, there’s no way you can hammer in the last nail.”
Towards the end of that letter the tone almost seemed to be approaching that of the French knights from ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’.
I’m surprised he didn’t accuse Richard’s father of “smelling of elderberries!”
Do you think if I send a nasty letter to Dawkins that he will send me an autographed copy of his book!
You were lucky! We had to communicate by Morse code using large and small rocks that we threw at each others head.
And count me as someone who remembers the good old days of 300 baud communication.
Well Sven, I didn’t want to let on but I’m actually a big fan of the whole Canterbury scene!
“Standing on a golf course, dressed in PVC…”
(Never thought I’d be typing that on PZ’s blog. My credibility’s all shot now!)
I love religions of peace…
NOT!
I feel like Borat.
No it’s not. You didn’t have any to begin with. ;^)
I’m sorry. I have a mental disorder that prevents me from letting a good straight line go to waste. You can’t pitch me a hanging curve ball and expect me not to swing.
Is this Lunatic Day?
Ow! Who threw that rock?
(Oops – I suppose that will be the excuse for everyone to start posting Life of Brian references next…)
Nothing wrong with a little Caravan now and again! (how oscure can we get here…Hatfield and the North, anyone?)
Time to American up this thread.
“I spit on your shit!”
“I fart on your spit!”
“I laugh at your fart!”
…
“We are friends again!”
Well, they are the British Isles, innit?
Sorry – one of my English friends is ridiculously jingoïstic and francophobe. Really embarrassing to see in someone that young.
Boom Shanka, friends.
Funny, that’s how I read it too. I half-expected him to say “I fart in your general direction!” It fits perfectly with the tone of the letter.
RD,
I’m a
Awfully sorry !
To make up for it, can I offer to send you 1 liter of another great product, THE antidote against Gerin Oil and Mischtac Oil, ie Anti Mars Oil ?
RD,
I’m awfully sorry !
To make up for it, can I offer to send you 1 liter of another great product, THE antidote against Gerin Oil and Mischtac Oil, the wonderful Anti Mars Oil ?
tsg – you got me. I asked for that one, didn’t I?
If you like Hatfield, Try Tangent. Good modern Hatfield-inspired band.
Priceless! I put my name into it and it failed to produce “deceitful lemma”: very disappointing.
Is that how it is spelled? I always thought it was the British Aisles!
“Could you tell me where Wales is?” “Aisle 3.”
“Cleanup in Scotland!”
Mainsail Rot?
Airmail Snot?
Animal Riots?
Salami Intro?
Artisan Limo?
I’m not sure I need any of those.
[insert joke about British dentition here]
(and swear at the commenting software for mangling properly escaped HTML entities in the first attempt at this post…)
Best Anagram ever:
To be or not to be: that is the question; whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune…
In one of the Bard’s best-thought-of tragedies our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.
(This thread seems to be turning into a free-for all!)
I don’t think RD will need much Anti Mars Oil either, but it can always be handy to have a few doses when on travel, for emergency cases when one encounters someone who has ingested too much Gerin Oil.
will do–thanks for the tip
The name and address are printed on the letter itself; the search merely confirms that the name and address also exist in the public phone directory.
The poor bastard had no idea his letter would be published. (And even if he did, no real publication includes a precise street address) Also, digging up a phone number? Really, this is what Michelle Malkin does. You people suck. I can understand a few bozos in the comments, by Myers should know better.
Neg @ 179,
For having a typo in an anagram you are assessed a one point penalty in this months OM competition. lol
About the the teeth thing: http://www.whocollab.od.mah.se/countriesalphab.html#U
They’re not exactly comparable figures, as the American kids were aged 12 and the English/Welsh ones were 11, but still, UP YOURS.
What, precisely, is the harm that you’ve got your panties in a bunch about?
Oh dear. Messed-up HTML is the internet’s way of telling me to stop commenting and have dinner.
@186, yes, but “Atheist” gets spit out as “Eat Shit”…
…also “A eh Tits”, so you win some, you lose some.
Many people criticize Gerin Oil only because they are not familiar with the finer brands like Red Signet Pistachio Oil. Unfortunately they seem to be all out of stock right now.
I’m okay with that. At least it sounds like I’m telling someone else to do it.
Is that the stuff that makes you see things you don’t know what they are, but you’re sure their there?
Dammit…
I do know the difference.
<pedant>Hmmm, I don’t remember 120 baud. I remember 110 baud and 300 baud and 1200 baud. Let me check…some googling and downloading…Yep, Apple II Super Serial Card only allowed 50, 75, 110, 135, 150, 300, 600, 1200, 1800, 2400, 3600, 4800, 7200, 9600, and 19200. What kind of weird computer were you using? :-)</pedant>
110, 120, whatever it takes.
AS a Brit who renounced the Windsors and all their works a decade ago, I would like to congratulate all those who got the reference to “berk” correct. A point of information: It’s Cockney rhyming slang, not British rhyming slang. Traditionally a Cockney was one born within the sound of Bow Bells, i.e. the bells of the church of St. Mary-le-Bow (Beau?)in the East End of London. Our writer appears to spell arsehole idiosyncratically as arschole with a c not an e. Do I detect a Germanic influence here or is this merely another example of his illiteracy? Incidently, arse is a good four letter Anglo-Saxon word, which alas, has become sanitized to ass in the U.S.
Windy,
that’s too sophisticated for me.
You know, I question the veracity of that letter. Nowhere does it say, “Praise the muthafuggin Lord”, or “Hallefuckinlujah.”
I rest my case.
Kermit on a cross, what was he thinking?
Is that indeed a real letter from “Peter Colley”, and does it indeed have a real name and address on it? the evidence in his letter says no. while he can’t print or write very well, he did manage to clip the article, tape it down, kept writing on page, spelled things pretty much right, even used some fancy bad words… that and when I look up the guy’s name, the only hit for that name in WA says he’s a doctor who practices in Seattle. So, it’s unlikely it’s a real letter. More likely some hateful, petty internet-troll type of character pulling a prank on the person whose name he signed.
Sigh.
See above. There is indeed a “P. Colley” in Bellevue at that address.
After reading it, I still don’t get what his issues are with Mr Dawkins. Is he one of those proponents of group selection?
Gustaf (#239):
/me does spit take
/me awards Molly point
Ok, I too spent too many hours watching Young Ones in the later 80’s. In fact I recently purchased the DVD set so I intend to relive it all over again soon. For your reading pleaseure, from The People’s Poet:
Oh, Cliff
Sometimes it must be difficult not to feel as if
You really are a Cliff
When fascists keep trying to push you over it
Are they the lemmings?
Or are you Cliff?
Or are you, Cliff
You might be up to something there: If you look at the address, he’s making a cross hatch through the 7, and it even looks like he’s got the little slash on the 1. Both are not typically seen in US handwriting. So now I have to go back and find out if there should one or two h in Arschhole.
Leopold Stokowski was a cockney.
(Not a lot of people know that.)
I’m decidedly non-British, and I draw my ones and sevens the same way. Mostly it’s to distinguish them from other numbers and letters that they might get confused for, but then, I’m a computer programmer where the difference between a 1, I and l as well as 7,2 and Z are critical.
There’s 3. And a Q.
And, if you must know, I also put a slash through zeroes to distinguish them from ohs.
Mu, engineers, and IIRC, architects in the US often do the same to their 1’s and 7’s–at least they did 20-30 years ago when they were required to take drafting. The practice may have stopped after CAD became available.
There are lots of posts questioning the veracity of this letter. Another clue which we do not have would be the envelope with the postmark which would indicate where it originated.
(another Young Ones bit, also from the CASH episode)
VYVYAN: Snow, snow, bloody snow! I hate the bloody sight of it!
MIKE: [eating greedily] Don’t you want yours, then?
VYVYAN: Ah-ha! No, I didn’t say that, did I, Mike? [Vyv picks at his supper] Oh, God, this is disgusting!
[dramatic music, thunderclap, and brief CUT to groovy God in enormous sunglasses with two angels standing by.]
GOD: Don’t blame me, I didn’t cook it! Alright?
(By the way, I have a 3 disc DVD set of all the episodes. It is well worth it, if you’re into 80’s British comedy.)
Is it? Perhaps the atheistic pods have taken over your higher brain functions.
I noticed that about 90% of the words this person used in his letter to Dawkins contains either the word “cunt” or “whore.” It’s nice to know that the most offensive thing this person can think of is to compare someone to a female.
*sigh*
My godless vagina and I are offended.
I’ve been eyeballing that for a year or so. Might just have to get it.
IIRC in that episode “God” was played by DJ Alan Freeman.
Alright, pop pickers?
All right, I demand to know why my quoting of Mr. Show didn’t result in a similar outpouring of quotes from Mr. Show from everyone else.
thanks to the handy anagram generator linked above, I can now say:
ha! ha! I get it!
All it could really confirm is that the letter was sent from the same neighborhood or not. If so, if it wasn’t sent from Peter Colley, the person who did send it likely knows him and probably lives near him, at least enough to drop a letter in the nearest mailbox. And, if not, Peter Colley could have mailed it from somewhere else, like work. Either way, the postmark doesn’t mean much.
I just find it hard to believe that a person is going to spend so much time and energy to be as insulting as he can, to the point of (apparently) looking up British insults, to a complete stranger and then tell him where he lives.
If it were me trying to insult someone, I’d derive a great amount of pleasure from calling him every dirty name in the book and giving him no way to respond.
Weeeelll! I just don’t think that can be said too many times.
My godless vagina and I are offended as well.
I’ll admit my ignorance. What’s a Mr. Show?
must … resist … comment …
/me sits squirming with one hand clamped over his mouth and the other trying to pull it off
MMMHH FMMMPMHHH MFFFMMMHHHH
Patricia
I see your godless vagina and raise my heathen tits.
MMFFMMHH MMFMPPMMMMFF!!! MMDMMMPFMMPFMM!!!!
@253
Victor fix! Victor fix! See? Tools.
I watched that very episode on television just last night.
Notice that I said television, not TV. TV is a nickname, and nicknames are for friends, and television is no friend of mine . . . .
SAY IT! SAY IT!!!!
/Sam Kinison
Danio,
Red Signet Pistachio Oil
Anagram ?
Jeebus tsg
For a moment there I thought you were implying you were having a wank…and then I got what you were really saying.
I’m not sure if “pulling it off” has the same meaning in American-English but to the rest of the English speaking world it means you’re…err… getting friendly with the mongrel.
It’s hard to tell. Certainly Gould has had an influence on his accommodating side.
lol, that was sublime.
I don’t speak enough English to keep myself out of trouble. No, I meant covering my mouth with one hand and trying to pull my hand off my mouth with the other.
In other words, I’m trying to behave myself, but you two aren’t making it easy.
And If this keeps up I’m going to have to go have a lie down. Hopefully that doesn’t mean something in English….
neg:
Yes it is?
(‘atheistic pods’ is an anagram of ‘sophisticated’. I thought it a humorous alternative. YMMV)
@257
HBO series from the mid-90s by David Cross and Bob Odenkirk.
For my money, probably the funniest sketch comedy show ever. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr_Show
Anyone figure out if it’s the same Peter Colley who’s an Anesthesiologist in Bellevue, Washington. It does kinda look like a Doctor’s handwriting.
Got me ! ;-)
Let’s put it this way: I have a friend who makes dick jokes at every opportunity, when someone (male or female) bends down in front of him can’t resist saying “while you’re down there…”, and, anytime he has a picture of someone with a mustache and a beard, turns it sideways and covers all but the mouth with two fingers to make it look very anatomically female.
He thinks I’m crude.
Actually, Prof. Dawkins himself did:
(#127)
Looks like we’re pretty much at the ‘bottom’ of the chips Bride. ;o)
Bride of Shrek OM:
Heathen tits versus godless vaginas…
Coming to you live this Sunday through PPV! Don’t miss out on all the action!
I was on Encyclopedia Dramatica, under religion they have a list of Arch Enemies that contains: Satan, Richard Dawkins
It’s like he’s achieved surpassed mad scientist status and gone all the way to evil genius. :P
*grumble*
I fail at anagrams.
Should I be trying “theologian(s)” or “theologist(s)” in order to decode “Red Signet Pistachio Oil”?
Thankfully, all of my ladyparts are god-free–most especially my brain.
I think tsg’s head just went all ‘splodey. Make of that what you will.
Owlmirror,
read my comment 235
*headdesk*
d’oh.
Although I did think that “Theologians cried, I spit” was apropos.
tsg – Do you ever watch any old black and white movies with Marlene Dietrich or Mae West in them?
I’m feeling much better, now, although my eyes keep turning “heathen” into “heaving” and dropping and ‘l’ from “godless”.
I am aware of who they are, but that’s about it.
This guy lives near Seattle, WA. I live near Seattle, WA. I wonder if I should stroll by, see if he is hanging out, looking for some friendly conversation?
Do you think that when someone prints in all caps it means they have emotional problems, much like when someone types in all caps? There’s a reason the lowercase letters are that way: it’s much easier to write them and make them flow together. Word to the wise.
Since I’ve used Facebook to debate and it has no formatting, I’ve developed the unfortunate habit of capitalising key words. It’s not to yell, just to do what bold would normall do: signify those are the words to look out for. There’s been quite a few times on here where I’ve continued the dirty habit, then had to go back and put it in lowercase and just bold it.
Talking in all caps though? A sure sign that they’ve only learnt 26 characters instead of 52.
You previewed. You are a very naughty boy.
No, that was the Wild West Sound Change: r disappeared in front of s without leaving a trace even in the preceding vowel.
Can you feel the Christian love? I said, can you feel it?
Bride of Shrek, OM: Pulling or pull it or something off over here (UK) means to succeed at whatever you were attempting to do. E.g. Can you pull it off, means can you pull off whatever task is covered by ‘it’, or I pulled it off, meaning I successfully carried out whatever task was represented by ‘it’. Though we do have such lovely phrases as pulling your plonker :) which has your meaning. But in that case we normally spell it out with the addition of a slang word for the body part being pulled.
For some reason, I wanted to re-word the letter, using more polysyllabic and Latinate terms. Anyway, here is the result. Note that I had the amusing notion of addressing it to an imaginary being.
GOD:
You are a foul, maternally-copulating, swine-excrement vagina of an anal-orifice nonexistent swine and an illegitimate offspring to swindle, deceive, and hoodwink the world with your suppurating testaments (which excrements I do not enclose since I presume you are already well aware of them!). No one but an arrogant, putrid, verminous vagina would resort to such an cheap, swinish hoax (unless, of course, he is Jesus Christ, who is as much of a malodorous vagina and polecat as yourself). Wallow in your nonexistent swineyard, arrogant mythological thug and vermin!!! I expectorate on excrement like you, especially if they are imaginary arrogant fecal chunks!!!
Most sincerely yours,
Satan
Satan
PS: Copulate with yourself, malodorous offspring of a nonexistent prostitute!!!
Since time is money if they’re from America you should sue!
We’ll Americanize you eventually.
@Nick Gotts
Then of course there’s northern Irish Unionists, who call themselves British but haven’t lived in Britain for centuries…
Well, if someone could come up for a better descriptor for UK Citizens than ‘British’ that might change.
Starviking, how about UKers? Could lead to a great many brawls.
No, I think it’s usually a somewhat feeble attempt to disguise one’s handwriting a little (like a cheap version of cutting individual letters out of a newspaper and pasting them into the poison-pen / blackmail / ransom note). That’s something else which would raise the suspicion that the given name and address might not be the real ones (unless one assumes that a creationist IDiot is also likely to be very bad at concealing enough “fossil” evidence to be anonymous).
Is pommie wankers not good enough any more? Though that’s probably referring to the English only.
I write in all caps frequently and most people think I’m pretty well grounded in reality. However, if I were writing a personal letter to someone I would probably use cursive.
tsg – If you enjoy the style of humor by some of the women here, you would really love Dietrich and West. Like us, and wOO+, they are quite titillating. :o)
The handwriting was illegible. Can someone transcribe this? I had trouble reading it. His ‘E’ looks kind of strange, missing the middle stroke. I’ve always thought lowly of the intelligence of anyone who writes in all caps.
Hmm. Among the more peculiar re-arrangements (my Anagrams program found thousands) were the following:
Coreligionist Spithead
Idiotic Selenographist
Chipotle Grandiosities
Iconophilist Tragedies
Apologetic Disinherits
Ethnologic Disparities
Ophicleide Instigators
Italicising Heteropods
and…
ID Crispiest Theologian
Apish Ideologist Cretin
Smart ass.
Shut up, Richard!
(Which, incidentally, is also a shorter Peter Colley LOL)
Clearly, we are all far too clever for our own good. Elitist oafs, every one.
Thanks PML @ 297, I think I have to come up with a recipe for Chipotle Grandiosities now.
Mmmm…
Oh god, my eyes are bleeding! Does anybody have a transcript of that in human readable form? I mean this guy is more incoherent than the Zodiac Killer, and his writing almost as unintelligible. Hrmmm, wait a minute…
Why the hell didn’t he just cut letters out of newspapers and magazines like other crazy people? At least that way, those of us outside of academic circles, who have little training reading the absurd handwriting of mentally unstable Luddites (because we aren’t forced to grade their poorly written papers every day) would be able to share in the joke. I feel left out. *Sniff*.
@ Patricia (#298): So should I take that as a compliment, then? :) Although I’ve lurked here for a long-time, #297 was actually my first post, so be gentle!
Incidentally, I rather underestimated the number of anagrams – using the SOWPODS dictionary to find anagrams of “sophisticated religion” came up with 24,677 individual component words, so the combinations that result in anagrams easily run into the millions. Even if one limits it to three-word combinations or less, the program found 828,593 anagrams, such as these:
Religionists Poached It
Hip Cloistering Toadies
Geoids Necrophilia Tits
Gods Philistine Erotica
Die Gloopiest Christian
Idiots Sphincter Goalie
Goatish Lies Prediction
Piratic Loonies Sighted
Regards, Philip
OK, for the Young ones fans, my favorite episode
NEIL : “This whole planting thing is a cool idea, We sew the seed, nature grows the seed, and then we eat the seed, and then, we sew the seed, nature grows the seed, and we eat the seed, and then we sew the seed,,,
RIK : Shut up Niel, just Shut Up!
NIEL: But Rik, you dont understand the nature of the whole planting thing!………WE SEW THE SEED!!!!….. NATURE GROWS THE SEED AND THEN….
(RICK HITS NIEL OVER THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL)
RIK: Ok Niel get up!!!….NIEL????? Oh god! I’ve killed a hippie and now im going to pay!, i’ll be sent to prison, and be raped the the big men in shower! Oh god!
Burke is Australian slang for fool/idiot. I think it’s origin is from the failed Burke and Wills expedition of 1860. Two explorers who crossed the continent but died after making a few mistakes (go look it up – it’s interesting, if sad). Wikipedia reckons it’s rhyming slang for `burke and wills – dills’, but I certainly never experienced that usage, and it has probably just been made up. Maybe it’s a localisation of the English `berk’, although it’s meaning is quite a bit softer by the looks of it, and doesn’t fit with the usage in the letter.
So probably not Australian after all, just misspelt.
@Bart Mitchell
‘UKers’ sounds good, but I’ve got a soft spot for CoTUKoGBaNI. ;)
Are Christians allowed to say “fuck you?!”
Jesus forgives all (except “fuck the holy spirit”)
John Phillips (287),
It’s probably one of those local slang things – but pulling it off or variants of the same were definately part of the schoolboy vernacular where I grew up. Surely you must have heard the onld one:-
“How did your first game go at your new club?
Not well, the coach pulled me off at half-time
Lucky bugger – we only get oranges”
I don’t use Facebook, but I would suggest using *stars* for *bold*, and _underscore_ for _italics_.
Probably not, but they do have their own store of Jeebified swear words.
Arrr! I be a-usin’ underscore for _underline_, asterisks for *bold* and ever-so-for’ard slashes for them thar scurvy /italics/ – an’ (handily or hookily) this be the same pirate code as be a-workin on the old Beeb boards afore they was scuppered by their own captains.
Berksire hunt, I think
Berkeley hunt is in fact correct. See here.
I think the slang usage dates from their 15 minutes of fame in the early 19th century, when they chased a stag into the West End of London and brought it to bay in the doorway of a mansion in Mayfair.
It’s to be hoped that everybody remembers that after treating this bludger to amusing analysis, disdainful dissection and exposing his lack of judgement and knowledge of the world, that he will be entering a polling booth in a few weeks.
What interests me is the educational background of this character. I wasn’t aware that public schools in Bellevue, WA were dominated by the one-room, backwoods type where half the schoolbody came to class barefoot, riven with hookworm.
In English, as in many other languages, the words used to the name the sexual parts of a woman double up as the most vicious terms of abuse. All of us unthinkingly use these terms as a matter of habit more to pepper our speech than to mean what we say. But when a writer like this one, steeped in Christian doctrine, and supposedly accepts that “man” is made in the image of god, uses such terms repeatedly, he comes across as a person who has nothing but contempt for woemn, men or anything else. Does this vile writer remember that he like all of us emerged into this world the same way, from those self-same parts of the human body that he so despises? This is a sick mind speaking, full of poison and filth.
Posted by: SEF @ 292
[“Do you think that when someone prints in all caps it means they have emotional problems, much like when someone types in all caps?”]
“No, I think it’s usually a somewhat feeble attempt to disguise one’s handwriting a little (like a cheap version of cutting individual letters out of a newspaper and pasting them into the poison-pen / blackmail / ransom note). That’s something else which would raise the suspicion that the given name and address might not be the real ones (unless one assumes that a creationist IDiot is also likely to be very bad at concealing enough “fossil” evidence to be anonymous).”
Actually I print in capitals every time I handwrite anything. It’s not an attempt to hide my identity, but to write legibly. My handwriting in normal running writing is so poor and small-letter printing tends to shrink and slide into bad running writing, if I want someone else to understand what was written I have to print in capitals. Needless to say I prefer to type.
Hey rimpal – bear in mind that Dawkins is British, and we are way less offended by the C word than our American cousins. It is often used as a term of endearment, and reading between the lines, I think that’s how the letter writer meant it =)
Also, I am delighted by the author’s use of the words ‘yours sincerely’ at the end. Makes a hate-filled bile-spewing seem much politer, doesn’t it? Nice to know that even psychopaths have manners.
Yours sincerely,
Nikki
(Cunt by Royal Appointment)
And then produce a taxonomy of the perpetually offended and begin analyzing common features for evidence of common ancestory and evolutionary relationships between them and…
Hey, that might offend them; we should definitely do it.
He’s young. The all block-cap style of writing is a side-effect of early computer use. Many people under 30 now simply never really learned to write.
Also, he’s an idiot.
I would have guessed that the all caps WAS FOR EMPHASIS, LIKE THIS. I think some jobs also require people to write in all caps for better readability, though I doubt that applies here.
FYI, I’m under 30, spent tons of time in elementary school learning to write, haven’t done it in about a decade, can’t read other people’s writing, and don’t understand why everyone doesn’t just print anyway.
I liked your anagrams, my anagram server seems to have a more subtle sense of humor and only managed things like:
ethnologic disparities
idiotic selenographist
or with 3 words:
tailored shiites coping
eroticist hidalgo penis
by the way, with removing only one i you get:
drosophila geneticist
@307
Yes. It’s humanist for “I’ll pray for you!”
Well, my late mother wrote in caps too. Faster than my cursive (which is illegible).
“CoTUKoGBaNI” – I like it!
“Pull the plonker”? Huh? I thought it was “pull the pudding”. “Beat the bishop”. “Yank the plank”. (And it’s been too long since I watched Men Behaving Badly to recall the rest.)
UKers’ sounds good, but I’ve got a soft spot for CoTUKoGBaNI – Starviking
By Jove, I think you’ve got it old fruit! I’ve tried “Ukanians”, but that’s a bit too close to “Ukranians” for clarity. But the “Cotukogbani” sound like an interestingly exotic culture.
What’s a putzid? Putznid/ whatever?
Anything “[verb] the [noun]” can be used as a euphemism for masturbation. Including “verb the noun”.
On my rare visits to Perfidious Albion I have always found them energetically philosophical, particularly late at night, toowhit :
UKaaaant !
So UKants they must be, or not?
Richard Dawkins #144
“I’m sincerely puzzled. What is the point of reading something aloud, when we can presumably all read it for ourselves? Am I missing something?”
Yes, of course, Richard!
Think of the non native speakers. I sometimes read texts several times speaking out loud and changing rhythm and intonation to understand.
Such Biblical language!
All that talk about pigs just made me want a bacon sandwich, though.
You win the thread.
(not meant as euphemism)
Anagram :
Anal Parish ?
I may not be welcome here, as a scientist, Christian, novice pedant and Englishman, especially as I ask more questions than I answer.
So, in order of context:
Why do I believe what scientists, in general, say, given that many are paid by big business (Big Pharma, Ratha etc.) or are appraising the results of their own actions. Is this not a matter of faith, too? I believe Ben Goldacre, in general, and Richard Dawkins on genetics, but should I believe in cold fusion, discovered by (previously)reputable scientists, or nutritional advice given by graduates of “non-accredited US universities”. I can reproduce Newton’s or Millikan’s experiments, but have little wish to replicate Curie’s radium extraction or attempt Einstein’s maths.
And why do my students believe what I say? Why should they? Oddly, they behave as if they believe that sustained academic effort is unimportant in passing exams, in spite of much tangible evidence to the contrary, yet rely on me to describe atoms to them, for which the evidence is, generally, more circumstantial. And as for string theory…..
As far as my belief goes, I learn more about God’s world and Universe every day. From scientists. And I praise God for it all, because science tells us how it works. Unlike some Islamic adherents, I do not expect the Bible to teach me science. I find the repeated delivery of drivel like the letter in question to be embarassing and obstructive to real belief. I suspect Mr. Colley had upset somebody that morning and got his name pinned to it as a decoy.
Pedantry – Rolan, I suspect “toowhit” was a pun, but I’m too literal for that. “To wit”, is to know, from the same root as “wisdom”, “wise” and “witch”. “Too-whit” is for owls.
Actually, not only am I English, but I’ve been in Yorkshire for 30 years and it’s rubbing off, so:
I used to install 75/1200 modems on dumb terminals.
One of my customers had a 110 baud teletype as a console on their 40-user PDP11-34 with 32KB, running BASIC under RSTS.
Another had two 5Mb full size (10-disk pack) hard drives, each the size of a tall desk, consuming about 1kw each after startup. Startup had to be was sequenced, so the mains fuses didn’t blow.
Sorry to go to the punchline so quickly, but I couldn’t resist:
“You tell the kids of today that and they won’t believe you.”
Sorry, I had a lot to say, today.
tsg@90 says:
“Anyone who uses three exclamation points is clearly deranged.”
Right! Clearly! Deranged!
Mr. Barnett #332 wrote:
You don’t faithfully “believe” what any individual scientist or group of scientists say: your acceptance is provisional. What you rely on isn’t the honesty and competence of any particular scientist, but the process of science, both as a method and a social network. You recognize that, over time, the fierce competition and rigorous testing coming from all sorts of different people and areas will weed out error, and tend towards more and more accuracy. If some scientists are cheating, others will eventually catch them.
You have confidence in a system of checks and balances.
Your belief in God, however, does not rest on using a system of checks and balances to determine if the hypothesis is accurate. God is not a testable hypothesis. It rests on faith, a personal commitment you make to yourself to view the world in a certain way. Follow and trust your instincts, biases, and desires, and spin results in ways that can’t be checked. All the evidence will do is show how God works. That’s the faith.
So I don’t think you’re using faith in both science and religion in the same way.
because you have evidence that this system and process works.
What part of moduli stabilization, gauge fields living on Dirichlet branes and the AdS/CFT correspondence do your students not understand? Sheesh.
Just wondering if old Pete ever returned after having his Argument from Personal Experience smacked down. Not to this thread, apparently.
You’d like to think a light would turn on for a guy like him, and he would ask himself,
“If I was mistaken about my god-experience, how could I reliably find out?”
Or,
“If I jumped to an unwarranted conclusion, how would I know?”
Oh, well.
Given the content of the article and the letter I suspect the Burke being referred to here is William Burke. You may know William Burke from the singing, dancing, grave robbing and murdering team of Burke and Harris.
I couldn’t find any mention of Jesus or Christianity in the letter…
This might seem like a gross generalization, but during the 4 years I lived in the Seattle-Bellevue Washington area, I noticed the majority of the populace to be a very angry, almost hateful bunch – Christian or not. I moved back to California because I was so sick of glowering stares and angry rants from the grumpy citizens. Really. They’re a mean bunch (might have to do with the weather) and I wasn’t surprised to see that the letter was penned by angry raincoat-clad growlie bears. Best to laugh at them!
The Happy Californian
H E L L O !!
Actually the last comment was just to see if my lack of an “username” would block this comment’s posting. No use in waxing florid if it was rejected with an annoying “error” message.
I feel that Christianity is a man-made religion that is confused by inconsistencies and contradictions in the Bible as well as radical rewriting and re-editing. Unending is the bicker: is Christ a perfect man only, or God the Son or God the Father ? Do our souls die with the body or do they go to hellfire right after death ? Is Saturday still the sabbath or is it Sunday? And WHEN is the end of the world ? It is 1900+ years overdue !!
Forgot to mention it -after 11 p.m., my brain starts to slowly shut down. The CHRISTIAN mentioned a Michael Shermer. I am aware of his porn art, posted on the Paheal website. He specializes in men sodomizing baby lions ! He’s dead now and has drawn a good ammount of hate mail there as well, on Paheal.
My mother received a similar letter today (April 29th 09), from the same lunatic, and I do not find it in the least bit funny. Should I meet this guy, he’ll be extremely unwell for an extremely long time, bordering on the terminal!