Yeah, I’m thinking of the kittens. I’m thinking real hard.
I was going to say, “Because if you don’t vote for me, I’m feeding the kittens to the Kraken,” but then I realized that the kind of people who’d vote for me would probably want me to feed the kittens to the Kraken. And then I realized it didn’t matter how anyone voted, because I was going to feed the kittens to the Kraken anyway. So what the heck. Kittens. Kraken. Kraken Chow. That’s the way it is. As the kittens must accept their fate, so must Phil.
Vote for Pharyngula (and remember, you can vote every day!). Because the kittens won’t be spared whether you do or don’t.
P.S. I’m sure Respectful Insolence would love to have the endorsement of a kitty-grinding blog for Best Medical/Health Issues Blog. I’m holding out for the promise of a Hitler Zombie/EneMan crossover, though.
And remember – Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.
Looks like Orac has pulled ahead. This reveals the power of of a Pharynguloid endorsement.
So, this would be Lovecraft’s Wager?
beepbeepitsme: So what happens when God masturbates?
God can fill the SpermCube in a single shot, and no refirigeration needed.
Whoa now. Someone seems to have forgotten about the Cats of Ulthar.
Hmm… Not so sure on the ethics of kitten-eating… Then again, if anyone deserves to be eaten first to be spared from the horrors of the awakening Old Ones, it’s kittens.
Prof. Myers, have any of your students expressed concern that you’re grading their papers in an intense, kitten-killing rage?
I’m afraid of what would happen if you were to feed my kitten to the Kraken…
She’d devour him from the inside out.
by the way, be sure to get voting in the “Best Blog” category.
current leader is… Little Green Footballs.
Yikes.
And remember – Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.
Oh jeez!
And remember – Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.
then based on the fact that there are WAY too many domestic cats, I’d say that sperm cube might actually be a good motivational tool.
get, er, whackin’, people!
Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.
And adds another ounce to Ed Brayton’s wattle.
(wacks off furiously)
I can already see the next DI press release: “Archdarwinist P.Z. Myers advocates feeding kittens to Kraken”.
Actually, that’s not really fair of me. The DI wouldn’t spell his name right.
…and I give 50/50 odds of them using “Archatheist” instead of “archdarwinist”, and somwhere nearby would be a prominent claim of how ID has nothing to do with religion.
On the contrary, no pussy will get sore.
(Ducks from swinging tentacles.)
On the contrary, no pussy will get sore.
(Ducks from swinging tentacles.)
But does the Kraken like eating kittens or does he just do it because he knows what’s good for him?
In the slump of my impending (doom) pchem final, I got a good laugh out of this one, and thought I’d share:
Benny Hinn “Bodies”
Tactical error, PZ. I have made my first vote for Bad Astronomy.
Kittens with tentacles I can support. Kitten eating, in the immortal words of the Tick, is just wrong.
…and so we see the true face of atheism revealed in all its hideous horror – rampant anti-kittenism. You do realise you are all doomed to be engulfed by the Great Furball for all eternity?
RE: Azkyroth
Kittens know that when god masturabtes it has the same effect as when the tooth fairy does.
I found your blog through BA. I was totally going to vote for him, since I figured you would be very upset to learn that I just love salt and pepper calamari, especially the tentacle parts. mmm mmm goood.
But then you went and posted about that dog Zeke, and I was torn. If you can post a little about one of the coolest animals in the sea, spineless yes, but no silly squid…
Thaumoctopus mimicus, the mimic octopus, I might be persuaded to cast a vote for you, since the Leonids stunk this year….
Um… Bad Astronomer is catching up. It’s now 3,460 to 3,211.
… Kittens know that when god masturabtes it has the same effect as when the tooth fairy does.
Oh no, not the tooth fairy !! And I touched all those coins. Yikes.
And remember – Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten.
This is another of those “they won’t be spared no matter what you do” things, so by all means keep at it.
As for the ones about to be Kraken food, I’m sure they will pull a Jack Sparrow and show up alive and kicking sometime in May.
(And if anyone screams at me for spoiling a major plot point, I will laugh my ass off at your stupidity. Because EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. So don’t tell me you are that stupid. Because it will just get you mocked.)
So what happens when God masturbates?
She’s in a much better mood afterwards.
RE: umilik
Send those coins to a scientist and have that DNA tested. I have a sneaking suspicion that Karl Rove has a nightjob as a transexual toothfairy and I am lookin’ for evidence.
< < Send those coins to a scientist and have that DNA tested. >>
Send them to Mr. Crocker: They may be genetically related to fairy god-parents.
“I can’t even read my own mind! … Nope! Nothing!” — Cosmo
And if anyone screams at me for spoiling a major plot point,/i>
there was a plot to that movie?
huh, I must have missed it.