This is just not right. Orac finds some wacky spiritualist ‘healer’ who claims to have the cause for diabetes: a demon, the great spirit squid of doom. What? A squid demon? How kooky. Everyone knows no self-respecting squid demon would confined itself to screwing up one subset of cells in your pancreas.
You’ll have to read the original page to find a list of other demons. There is, apparently, also a Demon of Excessive Foot Odor which you can cast out, and you can also have Demons in your Blood Sugar.
What are squid demons doing getting mixed up with diabetes anyway? I mean, yeah, they usually to involve themselves with “REPRODUCTIVE AREAS”, but, ah… Impotence usually does not factor in. Quite the, er, opposite, usually.
The demon squid mentioned was said to have a tentacle around the privates of afflicted person. But if I were a demon squid I think I would opt to be a bit more … physical. Along the line of which japanese people have done schetces for centuries.
Okay, I may have too much free time, but while digging around that site…
Paisley harbors demons!
Gotta love that level of delusion!
Thank you so much, Lance! Now I know what tie I can wear to ward off Christians. ;)
Mrs Tilton says
Paisley harbors demons!
You’ve no idea how much sense this makes from a Northern Ireland perspective.
This reminds of the numerous occasions in which I was annointed with holy oil and prayed over with the laying upon of hands to cast out the demon of homosexuality from me. Wow, that was fun! Good times. Good times.
Ok, I’ve never been to Northern Ireland, and I don’t know much about its politics, so I apologize if this sounds offensive, but your line made me think of The Reverend Right Honorable Dr. Ian Paisley, who has always struck me a kind of hyper-religious political kook, and so I laughed pretty hard when I read your line.
Just when you think you’ve seen everything……….
John McKay says
Ah yes, the demon squid lurks in the shallow waters off the Isles of Langerhans preying on unsuspecting sailors.
Sounds like the Manly Mormon method of ‘curing’ gays. Always makes me giggle naughtily to think of it, although I surely don’t envy people who are subjected to that kind of treatment.
Well, I bet that, to Daniel J. Lewis, this is the height of scientific knowledge.
From their homepage:
Good thing I’m not christian, then.
I never knew that a great-great-grandfather eating a blutwurst could cause diabetes at four generations remove. I’ll look up the paper on PubMed when I get home this evening.
Or maybe I won’t. That guy wouldn’t lie, would he?
ROFL! They sell Mary Kay cosmetics if you dig deep enough on the site. I can just see Sister Tammy in her pink Caddilac cruisin’ through Mississippi with 3.4 kilograms of Mary Kay products on her face at all times.
Adam Cuerden says
I have a friend from Paisley. Must be a demon of incomprehensible Glaswegian accent.
It sounds to me like these people are being stricken in the brain by the spirit “DISTILLED” on a very regular basis. Let us pray for them… :P
Wouldncha know it…CANDOR is a demon. Frankly, I find that apalling.
…As a resident of the Republic of Ireland, I can honestly say that, before following the link, I assumed the linked kook was indeed saying that Ian Paisley was possessed of demons. It wasn’t until reading your comment that I remembered there was a fabric pattern of that name.
I’ll just take that as a commentary on the gentleman in question.
Wow… just to show you can find a nugget of truth in anything; the site mentioned above includes this gem.
Apparently, dishwashing, baby dolls and deodorant are of demonic origin, too.
I, for one, welcome our demon squid overlords.
I better switch to Mary Kay deodorant right away!
(what I will do about the dishes I’ve no idea.)
Now I know the true meaning of Jimmy Buffet’s song “My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don’t Love Jesus”.
John Marley says
I couldn’t follow the content. The terrible grammar kept distracting me.
Terrible grammar is caused by a DEMON. What you need is DELIVERANCE. Only JESUS can bring DELIVERANCE. Say to the terrible grammar: In the name of JESUS, I command all DEMONS to leave this grammar, that we might have DELIVERANCE from the hosts of SATAN. Remember, only JESUS can bring DELIVERANCE.
DO YOU NEED SKIN CARE OR MAKEUP PRODUCTS?
I knew it!
Cthulhu has his tentacles in many pies, indeed!
They also wear tin-foil hats.
On the Big List O’ Demons to Cast Out there’s an entry for the “Umbrella Commission, Counsel on Foreign Relations, Buildergurgers, Rockerfellers, Rothchilds Group, Masons, the Skull and Bones, and the Trilaterial Commission (The New World Order)”.
There’s also a link to a site that says that the Government is spraying areosols via jets in an effort to block out the sun.
Krystalline Apostate says
I particularly loved this 1:
So instead of running Norton AV, I need to install or call a PC exorcist?
This has simply GOT to be a satire site? No?
I’m tewwibwy afwaid. Oh me oh my.
He’s confused. The demon tormenting him isn’t a squid, it’s the Flying Spaghetti Monster.