In his inimitable style, James Walcott surveys the gloomy and apocalyptic ruminations of the losers of Tuesday’s election, who cannot believe that voters could be that dumb and are now seeking scapegoats.
After every defeat of magnitude, a scouting party is immediately sent out to find scapegoats, and, having exhausted all of their scapegoat candidates in previous fear-and-loathing campaigns (uppity women, shiftless minorities, “illegals,” Muslims, atheists, gays, gay atheists, carnival folk), they had only one big lug left to point a bony finger of judgement at: the Average American, that gullible lump.
Walcott quotes someone who says that this election proves that you cannot trust your eyes any more because “everyday life seems to be made up of fairly decent folks going about their business like you. But the fact is, they’re mostly morons, ignoramuses, fools, idiots, dolts, and a$$holes; and have never had a profound thought in their entire lives.”
Surrounded by imposters, “What to do? What to do?” goes up the conservative cry. How can they distinguish friend from foe? What is needed is to have some way of recognizing who are the few, the proud, the conservatives, and one of them has an idea:
“I’m serious about this: consider some sort of identification, a kind of marker, that lets others of your kind know who you are and where you stand implicitly. Get over your aversion to tattoos; a small “live free or die” or “don’t tread on me” somewhere on your person might just one day save your from the zombie hordes. Hell. Use henna if you have to. If you’re into irony, maybe a yellow Star of David sewn to your suit jacket.”
Yes, putting on your clothes the symbol intended to be a badge of shame and that enabled the Nazis to identify Jews for extermination would make for a nice touch of whimsical irony, don’t you think?
Oh, boy, we are in for a rough time as these crazy people try to come to terms with Romney’s loss. If these people are so obnoxious when they lose, imagine what they would have been like if they had won.
Walcott’s piece is hilarious. You should read the whole thing.