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Minnesota Republicans are not nice

We try. We really try. But no matter how progressive the state might be, we’re still afflicted with horrible, demented people who run for office. Fortunately, there’s a tell: they always join the Republican party.

Look, here’s Michele Bachmann (she’s still around?). She thinks because a few immigrants committed crimes once upon a time, the entire recent influx of foreigners — including the children! — are all an invading horde of rapists.

“Foreign nationals that have come into the United States are between 300- to 500,000,” Bachmann told an incredulous Crossfire co-host Van Jones. “My heart is broken for a female college student in Minnesota who was raped, murdered and mutilated by a foreign national who came into our country. We had a school bus full of kids in Minnesota — four children were killed on that school bus because an illegal alien driving a van went into that schoolbus.”

“There are lines that can’t be crossed here,” Jones responded. “I’m sorry, congresswoman. Are you gonna scapegoat children for the crime of this despicable person?”

Uh-oh. Did you know the guy who kidnapped the Lindbergh baby was Bruno Richard Hauptmann, a German? All you Germans — out of my state. Robert Hanson was a serial killer in the 1980s. Look at that name. Scandinavian. All you Swedes, Norwegians, and Danes…out. The Lakota…you can stay. Clearly all those European immigrants were a bad influence.

But Bachmann is a fading star, soon to be out of Minnesota politics altogether and persisting only to haunt the media, where a dumbass conservative is always welcome. Are there any others we should watch out for?

Meet the Freys.

Bob Frey is running for state office. His big issue is sodomy, and he has a theory, which is his, about what causes AIDS.

“It’s more about sodomy than about pigeonholing a lifestyle,” he explained. “When you have egg and sperm that meet in conception, there’s an enzyme in the front that burns through the egg. The enzyme burns through so the DNA can enter the egg.”

But Frey said that it was a different story when the “sperm is deposited anally” because “it’s the enzyme that causes the immune system to fail.”

“That’s why the term is AIDS – acquired immunodeficiency syndrome,” he opined.

That’s an amazingly distorted version of the acrosome reaction. Yes, the sperm head releases enzymes like hyaluronidase to digest away matrix that surrounds the egg, and also triggers changes in the oocyte membrane to facilitate fusion at the entry point and to also inhibit fusion elsewhere. This has nothing at all to do with AIDS. For one thing, the reaction is specific; it requires recognition of receptors on the egg surface that are not present in generic epithelial cells. For another, we know how the HIV particles (which are not sperm) enter immune system cells and it doesn’t involve a mechanism anything like the acrosome reaction. We also know quite obviously that sperm aren’t the cells involved in transmission.

Mr Frey is an idiot.

Also, if his sperm is transmitting anything, it seems to be idiocy. His son Mike also has the same silly idea.

Last year, Frey’s son, Mike, used the exact same theory while testifying against a same-sex marriage before the Minnesota House Civil Law Committee.

And earlier this year, Frey distributed a DVD that claimed an anti-bully bill was part of a plot to infect the general population with AIDS through sodomy.

I’m trying to puzzle out how anti-bullying legislation would spread AIDS. Because…if bullies aren’t beating kids up, they’re … having …anal sex … with them?

I’m also reminded that years ago, when Cheri Yecke was on her crusade to get creationism into Minnesota public schools, Bob Frey was a particularly loony witness at state hearings, who would show up with a giant plastic bone, claiming he had proof that there were giants in the earth in those days, and therefore every word of the Bible was true. He also threatened the education committee.

Frey: I have about 25 hours of presentation material with lots of slides of dinosaurs, lots of slides of this sort of thing, and also the consequences of teaching known fraud and everything to society.

Kelley: Thanks very much Mr. Frey .. .

They’ve always got hours and hours of noise.

Oh well, if it’s any consolation, this dynasty of Freys will end with this generation. No one is ever going to marry a Frey ever again.

Comments

  1. Reginald Selkirk says

    In Kansas, it has gotten so bad that 100 Kansas GOP endorse Democrat for governor
    But you’ve got to love those conservative values, like respect for the elderly:

    State Rep. J.R. Claeys, a conservative Republican, was even more dismissive, tweeting, “and they really raided the nursing home for some of them.”

  2. toska says

    As a female person, I am grateful that Mr. Frey has warned me about the dangers of sperm. I will follow his theory to its logical conclusion and only have sex with women. I wouldn’t want to get AIDS. /sarcasm

  3. says

    We had a school bus full of kids in Minnesota — four children were killed on that school bus because an illegal alien driving a van went into that schoolbus.”

    That would never have happened with an American behind the wheel. If there’s one thing Americans are known for, it’s being such calm and careful drivers.

  4. Holms says

    I’m trying to puzzle out how anti-bullying legislation would spread AIDS. Because…if bullies aren’t beating kids up, they’re … having …anal sex … with them?

    Because anti-bullying legislation would cause people to ease up on gay students, which will lead to the perception that being gay is fine, which would lead to more gay people able to live their lives with peace and buttsex (and hence more AIDS). Of course, this is just a transparent pretext to justify vilification of gay people – “we’re not persecuting gay people, we’re persecuting AIDS!! Making gay people miserable is just a bonus regrettable necessity.”

  5. funknjunk says

    well, the Freys did assist the Lannisters after all …. someone has to rule the Iron Throne ….

  6. Gregory Greenwood says

    Oh well, if it’s any consolation, this dynasty of Freys will end with this generation. No one is ever going to marry a Frey ever again.

    Every time this idiot opens his yap someone should start playing The Rains of Castomere, though in this case the Lannisters would represent Frey’s corporate and theological paymasters.

  7. twas brillig (stevem) says

    Bachmann:

    We had a school bus full of kids in Minnesota — four children were killed on that school bus because an illegal alien driving a van went into that schoolbus.”

    Bachmann is so easy to mock, her phraseology is often so twisted, it’s easy to mock. “Went into” is her euphemism for “collided with” or “crashed into”? And is this implying that illegal aliens all don’t know how to drive, or will automatically crash into school buses filled innocent children, or that illegals have it as a master plan, to drive vans into school buses and kill as many childrenz as possible?
    .
    The mind boggles at her single sentances.
    .
    And while caring so much about the killing of those 4 childrenz, she demands that we lock our doors and keep all the furriner kids out of our house, let them be beaten and starved in their own country, He have our own kids to [whispering:] beat, and starve, and non-educate (teach nonsense as fact, and vice-verse) “Why do those kids want to come here? What do they find so attractive about this place? We call it, “The greatest Country of all time”, The land of opportunity, etc. etc. Why do they think this country is so good?” [corner of mouth speak]We are great cuz we keep all those scum kids OUT, if we let them in they’ll just drag us down to their level. /Bachmann

    cough, cough, excuse me for channeling Bachmann there. Can’t help it, I love to play roles as a technique to try to understand the “other” side, to create better arguments against them. Too often it seems the best against them are their arguments they use. Just gotta listen with a rational ear instead of the emotional ears their followers have. Then again, I know that I just find their arguments so amusing, I just repeat them sarcastically to keep myself laughing at them.

  8. says

    @Reginald Selkirk #1:

    “and they really raided the nursing home for some of them.”

    Sounds to me like an acknowledgement that modern Democrats fill the conservative position that Republicans used to fill, while modern Republicans are off the right-wing deep end.

  9. twas brillig (stevem) says

    re Frey:
    But don’t you want AIDS, as the way to get rid of all those yucky gheymen? Do you really think that the first thing a boy does to decide whether to become gay is to receive buttsex? That the “experimental” buttsex gives them AIDS killing the boys that haven’t yet chosen to be hetero? But if you heroically eliminate buttsex and eradicate the resulting AIDS, some people will still choose to be “faggots” (if only to rebel against their parents).
    What then Frey? Will adulation for eliminating AIDS be enough to satisfy your lust for power and recognition?
    It is so much fun to here biology from a politician, to bring a non-biased viewpoint to such a complex subject. We need more non-scientists doing science, it’s all a big cabal of conspiratorial control of facts; we need fresh faces and empty minds to tell us what’s really going on in those labs all over, sucking up all those tax dollars they’re stealing from us citizens. blah, blah, blah, rant, rabble, rant, blah, blah, blah. QED

  10. ck says

    Wait… How does Van Jones still have a show if he’s going to challenge idiots who say outrageous things on it? I thought they were all purged in the “Fair and Balanced” wars of the late 90s and early 00s.

  11. twas brillig (stevem) says

    re Frey:
    His platform:

    Retention Elections for judges must not be implemented in Minnesota. The right of the people to elect judges in their district and local communities must be protected.

    Judges should be just as political as politicians? Um, I don’t understand this platform. Eliminate retention elections but maintain the right to elect judges? Is that advocating electing each judge to a lifetime appointment, or a single, fixed length term? errrr, no furnther comment on this item, too uneducated…

    Any gun control measures for responsible citizens are an infringement upon their right and responsibility to protect themselves and their nation.

    “Gun control measures” are for the irresponsible citizens. The responsible citizens already do all the stuff in the gun control measures. Are you saying that gun owners are _responsible_ to protect themselves AND their nation? All gun owners must be immediately drafted into the army, bringing their own gun, to protect this country? ORrrrr all gun crontrol measures must be eliminated, that without any rules at all, all those gunowners will only use their gun to protect themselves AND their country, that without gun control regs, all gun owners will line up to be inducted into the army forthwith? Think of the consequences of a dearth of gun control laws: what about those irresponsibles with guns. Who will the responsible ones protect themselves from? And how? You seem to be saying that it would be better for all conflicts be settled at gun point, that police will be unnecessary if everyone is armed and responsible about protecting everything.
    blech
    this aint Frey’s blog, wrong place for me to attack my strawman version of Frey. need to wake up now…

  12. Howard Bannister says

    I’m trying to puzzle out how anti-bullying legislation would spread AIDS. Because…if bullies aren’t beating kids up, they’re … having …anal sex … with them?

    This is their bottom line; they don’t want any protections to keep gay kids from being bullied.

    And they dress it up in ‘it’s for their own good so they don’t get AIDS.’

    Because they’re pro-bullying.

    Judges should be just as political as politicians? Um, I don’t understand this platform. Eliminate retention elections but maintain the right to elect judges? Is that advocating electing each judge to a lifetime appointment, or a single, fixed length term? errrr, no furnther comment on this item, too uneducated…

    Because they see the way demographics are shifting. Newer voters are more progressive than older voters. So they need to make sure that judges they put in today can’t be taken out by more progressive voters tomorrow.

  13. sparks says

    “…………….and when it comes to thinking rationally and with full benefit of the facts, the GOP mind has a way of just shutting down that process……………………….”

  14. busterggi says

    The Rep’s message about immigrants seems very familiar to me. Just sw3itch the people depicted to hispanics.

  15. Crimson Clupeidae says

    The common complaint about illegals driving is that they rarely, if ever, have insurance, and are often responsible for hit and run accidents.

    But, while the rate might be slightly higher (or not) for illegals, it’s not like hit and run, and uninsured drivers aren’t a problem for all kinds of demographics.

  16. ck says

    The common complaint about illegals driving is that they rarely

    Please don’t refer to human beings with the dehumanizing term “illegals”. There was a time when that kind of euphemism was limited to right-wing blogs/forums, but it has been spreading.

  17. John Horstman says

    Also, most of the anal sex in which people engage is being engaged in by a man and a woman. He’s not even trying to make sense.

  18. says

    OK to put it simple being against immigration she must be against all kinds, including that of her ancestors that traveled to this country and were immigrants at one time. The problem with the immigration argument is that if America didn’t have immigration we wouldn’t be the diverse nation that we are.

    Now since this issue wasn’t necessarily about immigration but the welfare of children/ young people of another country. Her argument is a slippery slope because letting 200 children enter this country for education, health care, and the possibility of citizenship (they were either going to be returned to their country of origin or allowed to stay based upon the immigration courts ruling). Either way they are not guaranteed any citizenship or that they will be immigrants to this country. Since this is more about safe harbor and not immigration she is just wrong to equate the two. I don’t care how many children she has fostered (it is a red herring) and not relevant to the topic. But her inability to address the topic shows a complete lack of understanding or empathy for the situation.

    As far as the older gentleman defending her, I am going to equate him with a presuppositional apologist. His tactics were identical in avoiding the situation and asserting that her motives were good, because he knows she’s good. It doesn’t address the issue it simply side steps the topic of her inability to differentiate between the two situations.

  19. Anthony K says

    So, right about when does the rest of the world declare The Great American Experiment a failure and autoclave the whole thing?

    Not the people, of course, they can be moved to civilized countries, and probably, with a lot of rehabilitation, be taught to read and write and speak and engage in meaningful work and live out the rest of their lives in carefully-monitored-for-signs-of-nuclear-bomb-dropping-dementia.

    But your constitution and checks and balances and entire system of governance needs to be incinerated, with one copy kept in a secure lab with the CDC for research purposes, much like anthrax and other virulent pathogens.

  20. says

    Anthony K:

    But your constitution and checks and balances and entire system of governance needs to be incinerated, with one copy kept in a secure lab with the CDC for research purposes, much like anthrax and other virulent pathogens.

    I thought we could send that copy up north and let Canada hold onto it for us :) Wouldn’t want to risk re-infecting the country, right?

  21. Anthony K says

    I thought we could send that copy up north and let Canada hold onto it for us.

    We’d be happy to do you that solid, but the fridge is pretty stocked with Molson’s right about now. Try again at second period intermission.

  22. Anthony K says

    (Seriously, you folks will be so much happier with a parliamentary democracy. Hell, go full-bore constitutional monarchy, and you can ditch your boring ol’ State of the Union addresses for the much more hilariously named Speech from the Throne. The jokes pretty much write themselves.)

  23. says

    Also, most of the anal sex in which people engage is being engaged in by a man and a woman. He’s not even trying to make sense.

    Well, you can spread AIDS in that manner too. The rather important missing factor in Frey’s theory is that you can only spread it this way if one partner has HIV, and if neither does, you can’t get it no matter how much buttseks you engage in.

    Besides which, I’m sure Frey would like to outlaw buttseks between men and women too.

  24. twas brillig (stevem) says

    Frey’s theory is that you can only spread it this way if one partner has HIV

    ??? Does Frey’s “theory” even acknowledge the HIV as the precursor to AIDS? Reading his “theory”, leads me to the conclusion, that HIV must be the RESULT of AIDS, or at least the corresponding product of male buttsex.
    (male only, mind you). That only sperm burning male colon tissue produce AIDS, and also HIV. Maybe my reading was incomplete, but what I read said nothing about HIV related to AIDS, so the other thing to takeaway from that, is that BOTH are caused by buttsex, simultaneously.
    Frey appears to be another embodiment of Dunning-Kruger Syndrome. Being NOT a doctor, he can postulate the exactly correct solution to any medical issue.

  25. consciousness razor says

    So, right about when does the rest of the world declare The Great American Experiment a failure and autoclave the whole thing?

    Are you sure that didn’t already happen? I mean, I’m looking around, and it’s pretty fucking disastrous here…

    … What the fuck did happen?

  26. says

    @29: Please read what I wrote in context. It’s not Frey who thinks you can only get AIDS through HIV, that’s the reality he ignores.

  27. jbrock says

    Sometimes I think right-wingers only go on Crossfire because they’re expecting someone to set fire to a cross.

  28. HolyPinkUnicorn says

    Robert Hanson was a serial killer in the 1980s. Look at that name. Scandinavian.

    Don’t forget Robert Hanssen, the FBI agent who sold secrets to the Soviets for over twenty years, and Scandinavia is just east of Russia. Coincidence? I think not!

    Wait…PZ’s background is partly Scandinavian, and Minnesota borders Canada, a foreign country! How do we know he’s not a spy too?!

  29. jste says

    and Minnesota borders Canada, a foreign country! How do we know he’s not a spy too?!

    Maybe they’re ALL spies! Looks like you need some way to keep those foreigners out! Maybe, Iunno, some sort of, of, of, a FENCE! Yeah, a fence! To keep the rabbits out!

    /slinks off to find more caffeine

  30. madscientist says

    The dodos in Australia’s “Liberal Party” (‘liberal’ as in libertard) are all great admirers of Palin and worship Anne Coulter. Kicking the underdog is the new national sport. No, don’t blame many of society’s ills on greedy people and an obscene wealth divide – it’s all the fault of a few furriners!

  31. Tualha says

    I wonder why Mr. Frey thinks that sperm enzymes in the anus would cause AIDS, when sperm enzymes in the vagina and uterus do not? Do female reproductive organs have sparkly magic protection from evil enzymes or something?

    I also wonder if Mr. Frey thinks that anal sex is a recent innovation? Or does he think that there have been AIDS cases, not recognized as such, since antiquity?

    Well, I suppose my reasoning went off the rails when I called what Mr. Frey does with his brain “thinking.”

    Oh yes, and this quote. “The GOP is a long term illness, causing pain, suffering, death, a long-term illness that’s very expensive to treat.” FTFY.

  32. Sili says

    Because…if bullies aren’t beating kids up, they’re … having …anal sex … with them?

    Even the Conservatives are promoting the idea that homophobes are repressed homophiles.

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