Apr 12 2014

I need this for my cosmetics bag

It’s going to be tough to use, though: that Jesus looks terribly unimpressed.

At least he’s not weeping tears of blood.


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  1. 1
    PZ Myers

    If he starts weeping tears of blood when I first look in that mirror in his belly, will that count as a miracle towards my canonization?

  2. 2
    PZ Myers

    Also, I’m wondering what’s in that mysterious tube to the right.

    I’m hoping it’s lube.

  3. 3
    chigau (違う)

    Look what I googled.
    I think they’re kidding.

  4. 4

    I was getting ready to despair of humanity but then i saw Jesus’ face and it’s just too funny.

  5. 5

    I’ve bought lots of stuff from BlueQ. They are certainly kidding. I love my “God I Am So Wasted” gum.
    check out BlueQ. It’s a hoot!

  6. 6

    I’m pretty impressed that reputation redemption is included in the package. That’s a pretty nice feature!

  7. 7
    george gonzalez

    B-b-b-but if that new scrap of papyrus is correct, this is only for his WIFE.

  8. 8

    No screwdrivers, soldering iron, hammer, or anything else you’d need to repair damage. Talk about a complete let down.

  9. 9
    Al Dente

    ck @8

    There are only two things needed to repair damage. If something’s falling apart then you need duct tape and if it’s not moving then you need WD-40. Anything else is superfluous.

  10. 10
    Ray, rude-ass yankee (Whimsy, I has it)

    Al Dente@9,
    I always heard it as “If it moves and it shouldn’t – duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should – WD40″
    They are the two essentials in any tool kit.

  11. 11

    I can extend that chain back to the Navy.

    If it moves, salute it. If it doesn’t, paint it grey.

    Which navy? Pretty much any of them shortly after they began using steel.

  12. 12
    Ray, rude-ass yankee (Whimsy, I has it)

    I wonder if jeezus has super eye rolling action, he has the same look on his face as my kids when I have to give them a talking to.

  13. 13

    It comes with a companion pope Frank doll too as an option. They can talk to each other and Frank can warn the jesus before he munches him down for a quick Sunday blood and flesh feast. Pope Frank doll comes with its own magic wand if the purchaser feels the need for a miracle. Medical authorities warn customers that they shouldn’t hold their breath while waiting.

  14. 14
    Marcus Ranum

    I want to make my picture appear on toast. That’s a more jesusy trick!

  15. 15
    chigau (違う)

    Marcus Ranum #14

  16. 16

    “Redeem your reputation” so … it comes with a spare hymen? Handy.

  17. 17

    ‘Bout time, PZ. I wasn’t going to say anything, but your reputation has been on the frumpy side lately. And your nose is sniny.

  18. 18

    that there is the small end of the wedge in
    making popular christianity just another marketing gimmick
    selling material consumerism

    uncle frogy

  19. 19

    What colour is the lipstigmata? And for their their next product:

    “Lookin’ good for jesus, the fitness workout: pontius pilates”.

  20. 20

    Jesus Dress Up.

  21. 21
    David Marjanović

    What is WD-40? Grease?

    (Trying to avoid the L-word here.)

  22. 22

    @21, David: In case you’re serious, see here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wd40
    It’s a very light, water-displacing oil. The lab’s 40th attempt at creating one, hence the name.

    It’s a lubricant, but I don’t think it be much good for the use you’re trying to avoid thinking of.

  23. 23
    Gregory in Seattle

    I will admit to being curious about what else PZ has in his cosmetics bag.

  24. 24
    Rich Woods

    I look good for Jesus by polishing my soul with holy water every day.

    I moisturise.

  25. 25

    I wonder if jeezus has super eye rolling action, he has the same look on his face as my kids when I have to give them a talking to.

    I don’t know about eye rolling, but I’ll bet he does the “talk to the hand” bit. Of course, anything you say goes in one side of his hand and out the other.

  26. 26

    And Jeebus sayeth, “let’s go burn one!”

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