Mar 05 2013

Pricing, hell: I’ll never understand airline seating policies

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For instance, why do they never give me the seat next to the panda?

Must be a smart panda, as it’s sitting in the emergency exit aisle and they only let competent individuals capable of assisting others do that. Remember, in the unlikely event that the oxygen masks are released from the overhead panel, always help the panda affix her mask securely before putting on your own.

Via.

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22 comments

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1

robro

5 March 2013 at 1:48 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

It’s also the best seat for the long legged sort, but I rarely get it.
2

PZ Myers

5 March 2013 at 2:00 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Yeah, and how come I’m always seated in the last row, aisle seat? Every single goddamned time, no matter what preferences I give.
3

Rob Grigjanis

5 March 2013 at 2:01 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Must be an omnivore. Eats, shoots and flies.
4

Katherine Lorraine, Tortue du Désert avec un Coupe-Boulon

5 March 2013 at 2:17 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

That is not a panda!

It is a bear.
5

Anthony K

5 March 2013 at 2:24 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Yeah, and how come I’m always seated in the last row, aisle seat?

Have you tried showing up at the last minute, sweaty and reeking of last night’s boozing? They always put me up front near the cabin, so they can keep an eye on me.
6

Emrysmyrddin

5 March 2013 at 2:35 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I’m just excited that the tumblr in question is of the Sherlock fandom. World domination!
7

rq

5 March 2013 at 2:36 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I didn’t know bamboo shoots were on the catering list, dammit.
8

Rev. BigDumbChimp

5 March 2013 at 2:40 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Yeah, and how come I’m always seated in the last row, aisle seat? Every single goddamned time, no matter what preferences I give.

The Illuminati
9

Ichthyic

5 March 2013 at 3:24 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Yeah, and how come I’m always seated in the last row, aisle seat? Every single goddamned time, no matter what preferences I give.

try wearing a turban?
10

Wowbagger, Designated Snarker

5 March 2013 at 3:59 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

That’d be right. Corporations, always pandering to the elite…
11

Chaos Engineer

5 March 2013 at 4:13 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

always help the panda affix her mask securely before putting on your own.

Grrr, this kind of bad advice is why pandas are an endangered species!

If you do that, then there’s a risk that you’ll fall unconscious before you finish putting the panda’s mask on. You’re supposed to put on your own mask first, and then the panda’s mask. If you’re travelling with multiple pandas, then you put on your mask first, and then the pandas’ masks in order of how much you like them.

(My experience is that, in an emergency situation, it can get really stressful to figure out which pandas you like better than which other ones. So it’s best to think about this question before takeoff.)
12

kayden

5 March 2013 at 6:32 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I would love to see a panda on one of my flights. Too cute.
13

sc_e94313c775e472e2749a200883fdec2e

6 March 2013 at 12:03 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

It could be worse: They might give you a seat next to a loud human cub.
14

frankb

6 March 2013 at 12:50 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Last row, aisle seat? Isn’t that the closest to the bathroom. Maybe they think your bladder is weak.
15

frog

6 March 2013 at 9:53 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I always try to get last row, window seat. Everyone else hates the last row, so I have the best (albeit small in these days of overbooking) chance of having an empty seat next to me. Yes, it means being the last person off the plane, but if I have checked bags, I’m just as happy to wait on the plane as to wait at the carousel.
16

hillaryrettig

6 March 2013 at 10:21 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Oh come on, that can’t possibly be a real panda. (And yes I clicked through and still don’t believe it.)

Am I the only skeptic here?
17

Trebuchet

6 March 2013 at 11:54 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I have had it with these motherfucking ~~snakes~~ pandas on this motherfucking plane!

@#4:

That is not a panda!

It is a bear.

It’s both! I clearly remember being told, over and over, when I was young that pandas merely look like bears but are actually more closely related to elephants, or raccoons, or lobsters, or anything that’s not a bear. That was before the era of DNA. It made me so happy when it was announced that they are, in fact, bears. (Giant pandas only, of course. Red pandas really are pretty close to raccoons.)
18

keinsignal

6 March 2013 at 12:02 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

@#16 – your skepticism is warranted, pretty sure it’s just a very realistic toy.
19

Chris Clarke

6 March 2013 at 3:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Am I the only skeptic here?

No, you’re just way cooler and more hip and cynical than the rest of us.
20

mothra

6 March 2013 at 3:10 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

You were just bamboozled into sitting next to the bear. You could write a book about the whole experience. hmmm title, hmmmm title: Of Pandas and People- that has a nice euphonious pronounciation. (Ooops).
21

nutella

6 March 2013 at 11:28 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I once flew on a Virgin America transatlantic flight and was seated near a madonna statue. The statue had its own seat (a window seat!) and had been carried on inside of a cloth case. The case was unzipped for the duration of the flight, presumably so she could see out that window. Her traveling companion had a great time explaining to people how he dedicated his life to hauling this statue around to various places so people could venerate it. I guess you can only direct prayers to statues that are physically present(?)

A giant stuffed panda is much less weird but why do the inanimate passengers always get the good seats?
22

thumper1990

7 March 2013 at 6:32 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

@Chris Clarke #19

*doubles up laughing*