You know who else has internet stalkers and gets hate mail? Tina Fey! But then, she’s a woman, so I guess that comes with the vagina. Fortunately, though, she’s also a professional comedian, so she knows the best way to handle them: with snark. Apparently, her new book, Bossypants, has an entire chapter where she addresses her hate mail, and it’s hilarious. One excerpt:
Posted by jerkstore on Wednesday, 1/21/2009, 11:21 P.M.
“In my opinion Tina Fey completely ruined SNL. The only reason she’s celebrated is because she’s a woman and an outspoken liberal. She has not a single funny bone in her body.”
Huzzah for the Truth Teller! Women in this country have been over-celebrated for too long. Just last night there was a story on my local news about a “missing girl,” and they must have dedicated seven or eight minutes to “where she was last seen” and “how she might have been abducted by a close family friend,” and I thought, “What is this, the News for Chicks?” Then there was some story about Hillary Clinton flying to some country because she’s secretary of state. Why do we keep talking about these dumdums? We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be?
When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn’t think anyone would notice, but I persevered because—like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle—it was a labor of love.
I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I feel safe with you, jerkstore, so I’ll say it. Everything you ever hated on SNL was by me, and anything you ever liked was by someone else who did it against my will.
P.S. You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.
What I also found hilarious is that there are all these harassing assholes on the internet, from ranty obsessed angry cretins like Reap Paden to every cowardly little profanity-spewing anonymous blustering bully, who don’t even realize that they have become the butt of all the jokes. We don’t have to pick on random ethnic groups — Ole & Lena jokes are so stale — we just have to mention these clowns in the comments sections of blogs and on twitter who have no life but to squeak in impotent rage at the world in general, and we’ve already got our punchline. And they don’t know it! They pound the keyboard to fling out their ALL-CAPS ungrammatical angry splutterings, and we’re just laughing at the little capering clowns. Or if you’re a pro like Fey you’re skewering them.
(via Spectacular Attractions.)