Episode CCCXXXV: The Sparlock thread »« Anyone know any Amalekites?

The hypocrisy, it burns

Sanctimonious Cardinal Timothy Dolan has been on a crusade against immorality: he opposes gay marriage, and was extremely irate that we might expect the Catholic church to cover its employees with insurance that pays for contraception. How dare we ask the church to pay any benefits to sluts?

It seems, though, that he’s perfectly willing to compromise the church’s high moral stand in one case:

Cardinal Timothy M. Dolan of New York authorized payments of as much as $20,000 to sexually abusive priests as an incentive for them to agree to dismissal from the priesthood when he was the archbishop of Milwaukee. [...]

But a document unearthed during bankruptcy proceedings for the Archdiocese of Milwaukee and made public by victims’ advocates reveals that the archdiocese did make such payments to multiple accused priests to encourage them to seek dismissal, thereby allowing the church to remove them from the payroll.

So, on the scale of sins the church will close its eyes to, raping children in the name of the Lord rates very low, but using contraception? Unforgivable.

Comments

  1. radpumpkin says

    Fish swim, birds fly, the catholic hierarchy is the embodiment of hypocrisy. What else is new in the world?

  2. jnorris says

    Really, does anyone expect to be surprised by the immoral leadership shown by the Catholic church?

  3. theophylact says

    Not just Cardinal. He’s also President of the US Confewrence of Catholic Bishops, and thus in charge of telling American nuns that they’re doing it wrong by not spending more time opposing abortion and contraception and gay people, rather than helping the poor, the undocumented, and the despised.

  4. flatlander100 says

    Dolan’s guiding principle through out on this matter, and that of the Church he works for, has been this: “Don’t embarrass the Church.” That applying that principle by [among other things] encouraging the parents of children molested by their priests not to bring criminal charges or to go public ended up hugely embarrassing the Church in the end matters not at all. The goal from the git go was “do whatever it takes to keep this quiet.” That Dolan, and his Church, considers him a fit moral guide for the congregations he oversees is appalling.

  5. dean says

    “That Dolan, and his Church, considers him a fit moral guide for the congregations he oversees is appalling.”

    No, it is typical.

  6. fastlane says

    Priorities man, priorities. Clearly, he has them.

    This message provided by the Foundation for Greater Internet Snark.

  7. busterggi says

    I wonder how the Cardinal’s own mariage & kids are doing?

    Considering he claims mariage is sacred he must be married or he is defying his Lord’s commandment to go forth & be fruitful.

  8. Agent Silversmith, Feathered Patella Association says

    He finds out about priests being sexually abusive, and writes out cheques instead of calling the police? Timothy Dolan fails morality forever.

  9. Moggie says

    Just how autonomous are Catholic archdioceses? The church as a whole remains wealthy, so is the bankruptcy of Milwaukee just a scam?

  10. cyberCMDR says

    Ah, but he has to take into account the big picture!

    The Church is the bride of Jesus, the mainstay for humanity to fight Satan and lead everyone to salvation! Therefore, it must be protected at all costs!

    This is the priority one override for the leaders of the Catholic Church, at least if they fully buy in to the delusion. Some may be more cynical, but have risen too far to piss in their own well now.

  11. allencdexter says

    Image is all important to businesses, and churches are the most lucrative businesses anywhere and everywhere. That’s why they appeal so much to con men and those who are just plain lazy but think they have a right to live high on the hog.

    I’ve been on the inside of a cultic religion. I know the mindset. Question those in power and your name goes on an automatic s++t list and your days inside are usually numbered in hours. Back in the days of the inquisition, you wouldn’t even survive to tell about it and your demise would be anything but routine and natural. Theocrats long for that to be the future right here in the USA. Ala Santorum, and probably, Romney.

    Zeal for a god is the most dangerous of insanities.

  12. mlennon says

    Cardinal Dolan paid these collared sluts to have sex? What would Rush say?

  13. Art Vandelay says

    This is going to sound awful but when I first read this about a week ago, I was actually sort of proud of the RCC for not just moving the priests to another diocese so they could go rape some more kids. So, well done RCC…you’ve actually made paying cash bonuses to employees for raping children seem like a relatively morally superior act. That’s hard to do. Calling the cops would have been nice too but this is progress.

  14. David Marjanović says

    So, well done RCC…you’ve actually made paying cash bonuses to employees for raping children seem like a relatively morally superior act.

    Full of win.

    Unfortunately.

  15. timberwoof says

    Bribery! He bribed those child molesters to quit so he wouldn’t have to pay them unemployment benefits. That’s Eighth-Circle-of-Hell stuff.

  16. Ichthyic says

    The church as a whole remains wealthy, so is the bankruptcy of Milwaukee just a scam?

    good question.

    makes me also wonder if the Vatican has slowly retracted monetary support for those outside of Rome.

    wouldn’t surprise me to discover that the church being “wealthy” is only a very localized phenomenon.

  17. says

    Dolan reminds me of a friend of my parents who was once a priest-in-training and is now That Guy Who Sends the Revolting Right Wing Emails. Every once in a while i just want to say to him “How can you be such a nice guy and such a horrible person?”

  18. chrisv says

    I was raised Catholic; Catholic schools through 10-1/2 years (including 1-1/2 years in a seminary) – then 1-1/2 more years of RCC college. That was long ago. I now hate the RCC. Everything about it…the hypocrisy…the gold hats (the value of which could feed a hundred kids for a hundred days), the foolish regalia…it goes on and on. This organization is fucking evil. How do people buy this bullshit?

  19. anuran says

    Well-deserved contempt for Dead Jew on a Stick’s fan club notwithstanding there is a legitimate reason for this.

    The baby-rapers who got these payoffs were ones even the Church couldn’t find a place for. Firing them and forcibly removing them from the priesthood would take time and money. The Vatican bureaucracy grinds fine, but it grinds exceeding slow, and time is money. It was cheaper to give them a one-time payout and resignation.

  20. Heliantus says

    In less criminal news, the current pope verbally blasted a nun last Monday for writing a book in which she is talking about homosexuality and female masturbation (shocking, I tell you).
    See here, by example.

    He says that homosexuality and masturbation are contrary to the RCC teaching. I’m willing to take his word on this.
    But I would give him more credibility (as in, greater than zero) if he was somewhere mentioning the RCC stance on boy raping.
    Oh, sorry, it was clearly made long ago: as long as it’s hidden, it’s not an issue.

    On straw in your neighbor’s eyes and 3×4 beam in your’s…

  21. Jerry says

    I want to make sure the sarcasm-impaired and or holy Catholic church defenders don’t misinterpret anything written here. There’s no silver, pewter, or even shiny plastic lining to this payoff. Maybe there is a toxic lead lining… This bribery of pedophile priests to resign quietly got them out of the church, but not out of society. These ex-priests appeared to have a good, solid, moral background, a good job history on their resume’, and I’m sure they negotiated at least unobjectionable letters of reference. (If not, they could have been fired, not bribed to leave.) With that, they could go on to get secular jobs as child-care providers, youth counselors, Scout leaders, and other positions that gave these sick bastards access to more innocent children to molest. The payoffs protected the church, but did not protect kids in general any more than shuffling other predatory criminals in white collars off to another unsuspecting parish.

  22. Part-Time Insomniac, Zombie Porcupine Nox Arcana Fan says

    Don’t embarrass the Church, eh, Dolan?

    Too late. And joy of joys, it’s going to get worse.

    Good for the nuns who are fighting back. If it were possible, I’d suggest they separate from the Church entirely. As for the gold, well, I’m sure those duds will fetch a fine price at an auction. The coins and such we can melt down. Put that gold to good use, something other than decorating a blowhard’s ass.

  23. biologyismygod says

    This is all just a misinterpretation; the payments are BONUSES, paid to priests who have filled their quota early.

    Those priests who have only raped a few children can now feel more motivated in their work: “Just another dozen or so, and I can retire!”

  24. kc9oq says

    I was reading about the pedophile priest trial in Philadelphia. The church admitted it had no policy of reporting abuse to authorities, and that their attorneys had told them they had no obligation to report abuse.

    This was part of their DEFENSE.

  25. says

    I hate the Catholic Church and everything it stands for. It’s entire history is filled with violence, oppression, hatred, torture, intolerance, murder, and everything else that is wrong with the world. If there is a devil, he appears in human guise as the Pope.

  26. Lars says

    So, on the scale of sins the church will close its eyes to, raping children in the name of the Lord rates very low, but using contraception? Unforgivable.

    What? Haven’t you even heard of God’s Own Absolute Morality? Heathen!

  27. katkinkate says

    mlennon @ 14 “Cardinal Dolan paid these collared sluts to have sex?”

    They aren’t sluts, they are men and therefore cannot be sluts. Sluts are promiscuous/ uppity/ independent women. Men, by definition cannot be uppity (they are supposed to be dominant), independence is seen as a virtue and promiscuity is just normal, after all men have needs. It might even be argued that men cannot even be considered immoral as almost every behaviour can be justified or excused away without affecting their social standing, except homosexuality. The Church puts so much emphasis on the behaviour of women because it is the female half of religious society that carries the burden of morality. An immoral woman is seen as a threat to the purity of the church/society, while immoral men are virtually given a free pass (except for homosexuality).

  28. usagichan says

    What, 31 posts and no Godbot pure hearted person of Faith to tell us that without Dog there can be no morality, or that it’s all Dog’s magic plan. Well kiddies here is another example of the sort of morality you get with the Deity of your choice.

    Of course the high Poohbah in question must be no true Scotsman Christain, so Canine mandated morality is still magically superior.

  29. John Phillips, FCD says

    markkmcgcone, well from the RC’s POV, at least he isn’t gay [/snark]