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Apr 22 2010

BOOBQUAKE!

Sometimes it’s hard not to laugh:

“Many women who do not dress modestly lead young men astray and spread adultery in society which increases earthquakes,” Hojjat ol-eslam Kazem Sediqi, the acting Friday prayer leader in Tehran explained.

I don’t know too many Iranian women, although I know a handful who are Persian. Don’t get me wrong – they’re all smoking hot, but how sex-crazed are men in Iran that they can’t possibly restrain themselves from humping these ladies so hard that the freaking Earth moves? I’m a big guy, as guy size goes, and I like to go at it like any red-blooded human person. At no point in my career has the fury of my genital onslaught caused tectonic plate movement. Maybe if I eat more vegetables…

This is, of course, what happens when you allow religion to run rampant, whilst simultaneously undercutting public science education and subjugating women. This isn’t some crackpot loony at an out-of-the-way mosque – this guy is a big deal in Tehran. Over in North America, we’d certainly never let that kind of idiocy pass, right? Well, except when Jerry Fallwell blamed 9/11 on tolerance of homosexuality. But that’s just one nutjob, right? One nutjob with a multi-million-person following. But anyway, that was years ago. We’ve come a long way over here! Well, except when Rush Limbaugh blamed the Iceland volcano on the health care bill.

We already know what causes volcanoes to erupt, just like we know what causes earthquakes – these forces have absolutely nothing to do with human morality. They occurred billions of years before there was any life on the planet, let alone one particular species that God apparently hates so much that he kills them with earthquakes when some of them wear tight pants. Earthquakes are caused by tectonic plate shifts along fault lines – such as the one that’s apparently right under Tehran. This of course fits right into Sediqi’s fantasy of a wrathful sex-crazed God (who uncannily resembles the wrathful, sex-crazed Sediqi…) who will, of course, cause the Earth to destroy the city because of some human fault. This is the kind of twisted self-fulfillingly prophetic non-logic that is the hallmark of religious thinking.

Thankfully, there are some people who are willing to fight this scourge, two sweater-mittens at a time. Please feel free to join her crusade, as I am sadly ill-equipped.

EDIT: Rose has suggested to me a reason why you might not want to participate in Boobquake. I don’t agree with the author, obviously, but I’m not a woman so my feelings on the subject are much less insightful. Read it, make up your own mind – is Boobquake a celebration of a woman’s freedom to dress as she want or is it another example of the liberation movement being co-opted into misogyny?

2 comments

  1. 1
    Michael Lombardi

    I find it funny that God will kill innocent people when he’s angry. Why not just kill the person who is homosexual, commits adultery, shows too much cleavage, votes to pass the health care bill, etc.

    Are we not taught that God is a loving god? He sent his only son to die for our sins? But he can’t be bothered to give you a bad heart valve or put you in a single car-to-telephone poll accident?

    As for the post you linked to, women have breasts. Women have a sexual presence. Why does it hurt women if some choose to wear skimpy outfits? The whole point of feminism, as I understand it, is that they can do anything a man can do. If that means be a plumber or astronaut or show off their bodies, they can do it. And that isn’t an invitation to force yourself upon them. Leering is expected from some men, and women understand this. But “you can look but you cannot touch.”

    I see Boobquake for what it was intended as: humor-filled way to be just as scientifically-ridiculous as the cleric was serious and ridiculous.

  2. 2
    crommunist

    I agree with you 100%, Mike. It’s a pretty shitty parent that smacks his daughter around because his son broke curfew.

    As far as the Boobquake thing goes, I thought it was a brilliant idea that got a lot of publicity. I hope the Iranian dude heard about it and felt stupid. I’m also acutely aware, however, that being inside a historically-oppressed group gives one a bit of insight that those of us outside can’t appreciate. I thought Boobquake was a harmless joking thing, but I know that a lot of women were upset about it. I don’t see what the fuss is, but I’ve never been a woman.

    Thanks for commenting!

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