Behold, the worst teacher in the world!


If you see this face coming, kick him or spit on him or otherwise scorn him. He’s terrible.

I’m having a bad semester. I’m teaching my intro biology course, which is small and ideally sized with 10 students, and every day is a trial. I go in prepared; I’m cheerful and friendly, I think; I’m working on the shaggy Santa Claus look; I’ve got lectures with frequent pauses and breaks where I encourage discussion; I think it’s an interesting topic. I’m talking amiably, and I ask the class a question — it can be as simple as “what are the results of crossing two heterozygotes?” or more open-ended, like “what is your opinion of IVF?” and it’s always the same result: dead silence, stony faces, everyone avoiding my eyes. It’s killing me. Am I intimidating? Boring? Hideous? Should I wear a bag on my head? I keep trying to get them engaged, and all I’m getting for my troubles is flop sweat.

These are not stupid students, either. I gave them a quiz last week, the mean was somewhere in the low 80s, so I know they’re understanding the material. They just don’t want to talk to me.

I’m thinking that maybe I should try some in-class ice breakers next week, and see if I can get them more active. Anyone got any good suggestions? I’m getting desperate.

Alternatively, I pick up a fifth of vodka and numb myself before walking into the classroom, because the strain is getting to me.*

*Not actually an option. I gave up all alcohol during the pandemic.

Comments

  1. Rob Grigjanis says

    I understand, even long after quitting physics. You try to explain the basics, and the response is either ill-informed nonsense, or silence from people who know better. Just keep plugging away.

    PS the vodka works better after rather than before.

  2. says

    It’s an intro course. Most of them are probably there because they have to be. They just want the next quiz, then the mid-term, then the final and to get it over with.

  3. Rich Woods says

    Anyone got any good suggestions? I’m getting desperate.

    Lock the doors and tell them the bomb will go off in exactly ten minutes unless they talk to you. If they still say nothing, after nine minutes open the bottle of vodka, take a long swig and say, “Goodbye, cruel world!” Someone will break.

  4. DanDare says

    A game of some sort, in groups of 4.
    Maybe a subject card. Each player wrotes a short opinion. Shuffle so authorship is unknown, then read out in the gtoup.
    Listen and then class questions.

  5. jpjackson says

    I’m having the same experience with my “Evolution in American Society” class. For whatever reason, they are just not really interested in talking.

    Maybe I should offer a bright, shiny nickel for anyone who speaks out.

  6. flyv65 says

    I was a biologist for 32 years doing environmental work when I retired (the knees wouldn’t let me out into the field any longer). The Missus talked me into becoming a driving instructor/state tester. Now, when I was working with other scientists, I knew a fair number of biologically “suggestive’ jokes that I used to break the ice-but I couldn’t go that route with 15 year olds…so I started learning “Dad jokes”, but actually funny ones. About 1 out of 4 to 5 don’t like the jokes, and mention it it reviews, but most do, and it seems to make them feel that I’m not just correcting them over and over. Whip out a story about my dogs, then mention that they should’ve cleared their blind spot for that last lane change. long straight bit of road? Throw out a vaguely scientific fact that is actually a funny Dad joke. They do something that could hurt them if something went wrong? I point out what it was, then tell a bad Dad joke. Maybe a bit too carrot/stick, but I get a lot of kids who ask for me again… then again, 15/16 year olds are not in college…your mileage may vary.

  7. fishy says

    Do you tell them stories? Do you stop being a professor and start being an old relative?

  8. says

    Try introducing a weekly discussion session where reading even if its only from the textbook is assigned beforehand with one student assigned to present and lead the topic. That way it is a student up front and teaching for 15 -20 mins. Good practice for when they have to present and defend their ideas at conferences or speak at meetings. Alternatively direct a question to a particular student then ask anyone else if they want to contribute.

  9. says

    Depressing when you tell a joke and see them carefully and seriously write it down, wondering whether it will be on the test. Very different from the early 1970s when, under the influence of The Movement on campus, students were endlessly correcting me (“I’m sorry, Professor, but I worked in a blood lab last summer, and what you said about blood types is wrong”). I spent the first part of every class apologizing for wrong statements I made in the previous class.

  10. Thomas Scott says

    You could try the Socratic method and tell them that their grade is based upon their participation in the discussion.

  11. Lauren Walker says

    I’d be completely honest and transparent by letting them know how disappointed you are that they won’t speak to you or even look at you. Tell them how hurt your feelings are. A little guilt trip might just work. If not, you could resort to livening things up by pretending all the juvenile black widows escaped.

  12. leovigild says

    Rather than you asking the questions and seeing if anyone answers, group them into pairs or triplets, give them a question, and ask them to discuss it amongst themselves. Then after 5-10 minutes ask the groups to give their responses. (If you really must, have them write down an answer and then recite it out loud, but that probably won’t be necessary).

  13. Hemidactylus says

    Not quite germane but I had to take introductory bio twice. It wasn’t that I failed the first time, but I took it at a community college. When I started at the four year I kinda fell (or tripped) into a biology minor (then major). I took all the courses required to graduate with a BS and when I filed for graduation they kicked it back and said I needed the biology 101 weed-out course because they wouldn’t accept the CC course. WTF. So that was an easy course to take. I was stuck with a bunch of fresh outta HS greenhorns. It was a nightmare for many of them. The guys in my lab course were cool. One of them told me about No Doubt. This was late 90s. I floored the professor (an Aussie botanist) with some of the questions I asked after class. The lab GTAs knew me because I had taken more advanced classes, did a stint as a paid research assistant, etc.

    Anyway it is an intro course so maybe a small portion of students are really into it. My class was well over 100 students. The chances you will get a 2 year AA transfer who almost completed their 4+ year biology degree and got told last minute they need the intro course to graduate are slim.

  14. Hemidactylus says

    Ah shucks, an icon of ID “science” has passed.

    https://sandwalk.blogspot.com/2024/10/jonathan-wells-1942-2024.html

    I had forgotten:

    Wells joined the Unification Church in 1974, and subsequently wrote that the teachings of its founder Sun Myung Moon and his own studies at the Unification Theological Seminary and his prayers convinced him to devote his life to “destroying Darwinism.”[2][3][4][5]

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Wells_(intelligent_design_advocate)

  15. Dennis K says

    @12 garydargan — Had a professor do something similar in one of my required math courses. Horrified me (and a few others) into dropping the class and waiting two additional semesters for someone else to teach it. Ended up tagging an additional year onto my program but I never once regretted doing it.

  16. vereverum says

    May be too much trouble, but… give them a 3-5 minute presentation, dissertation defence, presenting a paper to this august chamber of protobiologists, new research, etc. Their job is to decide if it is true or not AND present their work, i.e. what clews led them to their belief it was true or a lie.
    On the other had, you might only help them become more effective liars.

  17. Dan Phelps says

    They are probably conditioned by their high school experience not to ask questions or stand out in any way.

  18. inflection says

    As a math prof, this was a common problem for me. I have found that a fantastic system is the iClicker (now an app, so they can use their phones). You can run a “poll question,” usually multiple choice, and the students can answer immediately – and more importantly, anonymously. It vastly increases the participation rate in a class, especially a large lecture.

    It doesn’t help discussion very much, but it is excellent at taking a snapshot of student comprehension.

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