1. Lyn M: Totally Knows What This Nym Means says

    Spared. How does Thanos even know me?

  2. Owlmirror says


          if (randomNumber < 0.5) {
            displayElement.textContent = "You were slain by Thanos, for the good of the Universe.";
          } else {
            displayElement.textContent = "You were spared by Thanos.";

    Fuckin’ coin flip.

    Since I visited the page with Javascript turned off, I saw a blank white nothingness. Clearly, I am in a state of superposition. Schrödinger’s Thanos victim.

  3. says

    When I tried to go there, my McAfee Web Advisor piped up that this is a “risky site”–classification “malicious malware.” Y’all might want to check your computers.

  4. microraptor says

    Also, I was killed by Thanos, but I reject your reality and substitute my own.

  5. chrislawson says

    Bonnie McDaniel@6–

    I’m not sure what McAfee Web Advisor was objecting to. The page source code is pretty simple, mostly Javascript, and the only thing I can see that might have set off McAfee is that it sends you a cookie. This particular cookie is not to track you, it’s so that once you generate an answer to the question, you get the same answer every time you refresh the page. Without the cookie, you’d get a 50-50 chance of being killed or spared with each click of the refresh button. Of course, you can get around this either by deleting your cookies or by visiting the page with a different browser.

    As it turns out, Safari me was spared but Chrome me was destroyed.

  6. chrislawson says


    It means you have an interminable chain of sequels to live through.

  7. Simple Desultory Philip says

    i was once, an ambiguous amount of time around a decade ago, working at an establishment in a remote area of the california central coast. post-no-country-for-old-men. josh brolin got drunk at the bar at that establishment, like stinking, stumbling, whole bottle of wine by himself after his then-wife went back to their hotel, drunk. dude was *wasted*. i later learned he was chasing raccoons over railings onto hillsides earlier in the evening. no lie. anyway i went to said bar for my after-work libation/relaxation/shoot the shit with the bartender time, not knowing that the future Titan (or whatever?, i don’t really do marvel?) was stumbling about, inhibitions obliterated. he proceeded to run at me, mouth agape, saying something about how amazing my tattoos were, and begin making out sloppily with my naked (tattooed) shoulder. if the bartender’s eyes could have shot lasers, josh would’ve been dead on the spot. anyway, not wanting to potentially get everybody i worked with in trouble for overserving a dude with millions of dollars, i gently pushed his head away and then he took his shirt off to show me *his* tattoos, blithely, as though nothing untoward had happened.

    this is all to say, i went to the webthing and it said thanos spared me, which he fucking BETTER have, because i deserve to live after that experience. my friends and i refer to it as getting “brolinated” to this day.

    reading all the infinity war takes this week has been…interesting.

  8. screechymonkey says

    Jesus, PZ, could you watch it with the spoilers? Thankfully I saw the film earlier today, or else I’d be really fucking pissed. It hasn’t been out THAT long.

  9. vole says

    The Greek for “death” is “thanatos”. Thanos is not where it’s at. (Sorry, I do too many cryptic crosswords. Perhaps that’s why the badstar killed me.)

  10. blf says

    The mildly deranged penguin ate Thanos. She mistook them for a piquant cheese of some sort. I’m not quite sure which cheese. She mentioned something about a seasonally-migrating cheese bush which eats other spices, but I cannot find any such cheese in Migratory Cheeses of the Spice Islands, 16th Edition (all two hundred and one volumes), or in Encyclopedia of Cheese Migration in the Central American Mountains (a work still-in-progress, currently only eight hundred or so volumes, and almost ready to start on the letter B). More general works on cheeses don’t seem to mention any migratory piquant cheeses; apparently, most piquant cheese plants sit still and feast on anyone who comes too close. They are noted for having quite sharp teeth.

  11. joehoffman says

    I have trouble keeping Thanos and Theranos separate in my memory, so I completely misunderstood this post.

  12. davidc1 says

    Well that’s it for me ,if i had known earlier i would have maxed out my credit cards .

  13. birgerjohansson says

    Thanos is a pussy comared to the ones Charles Stross writes about.
    …There is this totally realcreepy religious organisation in USA that has collected a lot of cuneiform tables and other mesopotamian items that were looted… Charles Stross pointed out this pretty much follows the plot of one of his “laundry” novels.

  14. epawtows says

    I still think someone (probably Quill) should have suggested “Why don’t you just snap your fingers and tell the universe to have twice as many resources, so there’s enough for everyone?”

    Just so Thanos would get the “Errr, wait, that would work- naww, let’s just do it my way!” reaction.

  15. johnlee says

    Did not the Lord send a lowly Earthworm to comfort Moses in the Desert?

  16. chuckonpiggott says

    @birgerjohansson 23. That real creepy bunch is “Hobby Lobby”. The owners collect antiquities and funded the Museum of the babble in DC.