I think the chemtrails have been destroying the brains of Arizonians

It’s the only possible explanation. The Arizona senate has just appointed Sylvia Allen to be chair of the Education Committee. This Sylvia Allen:

Allen is best known for her controversial public comments over the years. During a legislative hearing in 2009, she said the Earth is 6,000 years old, a belief held by “Young Earth” biblical creationists. In 2013, a Facebook post about chem-trail conspiracies gained widespread media attention, as did a March comment suggesting mandatory church attendance.

She was appointed to regulate the educational policy in Arizona by a fellow Republican, the senate president. I don’t know what he was thinking — she sounds like the kind of loon you steer into positions where she can’t do much harm. Maybe it’s just the standard Republican game of blowing up the government from within?

But you can’t just blame this on Republican idiocy.

Sen. Steve Farley, D-Tucson, who had criticized Allen’s church comment, said he looks forward to working with her on education issues.

“She’s made some interesting comments to the public, but it’s not like she’s going to be teaching,” he said. “We have accredited teachers for that.”

He said Allen has always had an open door for lawmakers on both sides of the aisle.

“I think she’ll do a pretty good job,” he said.

A pretty good job. Of what? Saying stupid stuff to make the Republicans look even more nuts? Or did the chemtrails get to him, too?


  1. numerobis says

    “I think she’ll do a pretty good job” to my ears sounds like someone desperate to stay on the good side of an utter loon in the perhaps vain hope of being able to steer them away from their worst impulses.

  2. says

    Just more of the standard modern Democrat employing the standard modern Democratic “as long as we’re the slightest sliver of a millionth of an inch away from the Republicans, you’ll vote for us anyway because you have no alternative” device. I’m sure he has some single issue on which he’s marginally less dismal than his opposition, so it totally doesn’t matter that he’s identical to them in every other way.

  3. Trickster Goddess says

    I already faithfully attend home church services every Sunday morning. Rituals usually include sacred dreaming. If I am particularly feeling the spirit, I may roll over and dream some more.

  4. says

    Mandatory church attendence? Why are people worried about sharia law when you’ve got a person like that as a freakin’ senator?

  5. anthrosciguy says

    It’d be better if she was teaching. She’d only be able to screw up 30-40 kids a year that way.

  6. Pteryxx says

    According to Blades at Daily Kos, Allen got into the Senate:

    when Jake Flake, former speaker of the Arizona House of Representatives and the uncle of U.S. Sen. Jeff Flake, was bucked from a horse and broke eight ribs. He died of a heart attack two weeks later. Allen ran for his seat and won, but lost a re-election bid in 2012. But then, in 2014, state Sen. Chester Crandall was found dead after falling or being bucked from a horse. Allen was picked by Republican officers to run unopposed for his seat.

    And then was appointed to the education gatekeeping committee after Sen. Kelli Ward resigned last week to run in next year’s GOP primary.

    So basically she has a career when other Repubs leave vacancies for her. No chemtrail conspiracy to be seen here? *dramatic question mark*

  7. blf says

    We can test the hypothesis the air there rots brains.

    First, acquire a brain. There’s a graveyard near poopyhead’s, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

    Second, leave it exposed to atmosphere in Arizona. (A few precautions so it isn’t “borrowed” by other experimentalists or eaten by zombies are needed.)

    Third, monitor. Check for changes every now-and-then.

    If it rots over time, then the hypothesis is affirmed, something in the air there is a destroyer of brains.

    Others can write this up into a proper grant proposal. With some Big Pharma funding, we’ll make million$!

  8. says

    No chemtrail conspiracy to be seen here? *dramatic question mark*

    No chemtrail conspiracy, but what about a horse conspiracy?

  9. Tofu rific says

    Ahhh, more disgrace in Arizona. As a science teacher in Tucson, I’m pretty familiar with Steve Farley and the education landscape here.

    Farley is actually a true Democrat (not a sliver away from a Republican as suggested- and certainly not a brain dead ‘chemtrail’ victim). He has been a tireless advocate for education. He stood up to the governor last year over the cutthroat budget, has called for better long term solutions for education funding (look up AZ’s education inflation lawsuit for a depressing read), and he has opposed the tax cuts that may be coming now that we have a surplus (possibly moving toward a no income tax state instead of reinvesting the money that was slashed from education). He’s not afraid to speak up about the insane conservative nonsense in this state, and has most recently been a strong advocate for welcoming refugees after our governor’s statement about halting refugee immigration.

    Sylvia Allen, on the other hand, is an ignorant, uneducated, unethical person who has no business leading any sort of committee. Point of reference- the case they mention in the article was actually her interfering in the investigation over her son-in-law’s improper conduct with (and possible rape of) female inmates at the Navajo County jail where he worked.

    So, you can imagine my disappointment and confusion when reading Farley’s comments about the appointment. However (and it pains me to say this), it is possible that she’s the least awful choice on the Republican side if she’s willing to work with others. That said, I’m not holding my breath…

  10. jrkrideau says

    it is possible that she’s the least awful choice on the Republican side

    I have often wondered what happened to Dr. Moreau. I guess we know now that he moved on to helping create the modern US Republican Party.

    Much is now clearer.

  11. says

    it is possible that she’s the least awful choice on the Republican side

    I hereby nominate this for “scariest thing said/typed in 2015”.

  12. some bastard on the internet says

    No chemtrail conspiracy, but what about a horse conspiracy?

    The horses are in on it! The chemtrails are a signal to buck their riders! It just makes sense, people!

  13. rubaxter says

    Stoopidity is contagious, as an inhabitant of Joe-Ja can attest to, and it’s particularly virulent in those not immunized by actual education. Must be the hot summers, and the chemicals they spray on the lawns to keep the desert the right shade of green. Do they crop dust lawns in AZ? I think the mosquito truck in GA serves the same purpose as the chemtrail jets, elsewhere.

  14. militantagnostic says

    some bastard on the internet

    The horses are in on it! The chemtrails are a signal to buck their riders! It just makes sense, people sheeple!


  15. Nova Conceptum says

    Don’t be too hard on the Dem, you gotta work with what ya got. He pretty well insulted her, suggesting it is good she does not have direct contact with kids in the classroom.

    If she tries to put creationism into the curriculum there will have to be a legal battle, but for the more ordinary administrative process you have to work with the people in the positions.