It’s Christmas Eve. You’re probably all busy with holiday preparations, getting together with family, making the traditional dinner, all that secular stuff that makes the day worth celebrating. I know that in the midst of this hustle and bustle you already don’t believe in Santa Claus, but I’m going to ask you to take a quiet, contemplative moment to think about the roots of this day, and don’t believe in Jesus, too.
I know, I’m agreeing with all those crazy Bill O’Reillys and Donald Wildmons and other shrill Christian combatants in the war on Christmas who demand that you acknowledge the “holy” in holiday, but it’s true: the midwinter seasonal holiday was created by people with the superstitious belief that supernatural transitions accompanied natural ones, and these few days are traditionally special because of a belief in their magical importance, and every religion attaches some godly event to the solstice season. It’s why you’ll get a day off on Christmas, which means it was good for something. So just pause, bow your head, and think about Jesus. And reject him.
Also consider God, the Holy Ghost, all the prophets and saints, the angels and demons, the Great Old Ones, any pantheon ever erected in heaven, all the ghosts and boojums, and deny them, every one. Think about all the pious, sanctimonious god-bothers who tell you to worship their dead gods on this day, and tell them, “No.”
Feels good, doesn’t it? Remember the reason for the season, and be sure to go “Ho ho ho!” at it now and then, and let laughter fill your home.