I suspect Coturnix knew I’d be unable to resist this test, even though once I started answering the questions I found most of them kind of dopey. Even so, I squeaked past his score.
| The Ardent Atheist
The results are in, and it appears that you have scored 76%…
|You are an atheist, pure and simple. You think God is just one big lie, and consider religious people to be both annoying and beneath you. Ardent atheists will argue tooth and claw for their position, and have no truck with people that won’t listen. You think being an atheist is the only way to lead an honest life, and see no reason to accept the pleas of faith. Ardent atheists are the backbone of atheism. Be proud.|
|My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|Link: The Atheist Test written by chi_the_cynic on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test|
I have no idea what the heck that picture is supposed to represent.
Well, damn. You edged me out by 2%.
That is you, shaking your fist at a displeased sky god.
I placed as a Pyrrhonian at 57%, which is fitting for a spineless agnostic.
PZ Myers says
But there is no sky god. How could I be shaking my fist at it?
Maybe that’s why this sky-god is sporting the irony eyebrow?
Woo Hoo! 79%!
Odd. I don’t remember admitting to any crimes…
Ardent Athiest, also 76%, but I only scored better than 76% on pentagrams (whatever that means). I also shake my dusty fist at imaginary cloudgods.
Mark Paris says
I got 68 or something. I agree that some of the questions are kind of dopey, and some don’t have the right answer. For example, murder is a legal term. You can’t murder someone in self defense. You can kill them, and I would, but I couldn’t answer that I would murder someone in self defense. Does that make me a literalist?
Awesome stuff. I’m very pleased with that. Although I was disappointed with the politics question — hard right, middle, wishy-washy left but no hard left?
Many stupid questions and answers. I got a 67.
Yes 80% Ardent Atheist.
National Day of Slayer
I came out with 80%, and I was about to start boasting about it, but damn! 91% for poke – You must really make Baby Jesus cry!
What a dumb test.
“You think God is just one big lie, and consider religious people to be both annoying and beneath you. Ardent atheists will argue tooth and claw for their position, and have no truck with people that won’t listen.”
So you maintain your position no matter what, and think that your opponents are beneath you; but you can’t stand it when other people won’t listen to you because they do the same? Great.
Thats not Atheism, thats Stalemate-ism.
Definitely stupid, but: 69% (Ardent)
I was a pyrrhonist.
Which falls in line with my thinking 100%.
Of course I was never aware of such a school of thought in the ancient world let alone today. It seems that everytime I turn around I find I’m a member of a class that holds to a train of deductive logic that I had never heard of before.
It’s getting to the point that I wonder how the world got to this stage if these kinds of logical deductions were already being contemplated even before the judean liberal politician jesus was said to have been born??
I will admit that the questions on that test seemed to defy much of the logic found in the conclusions that it classifies people into. As always occurs with online tests I always find myself not finding any options to select from that match my desired answer. I guess that is the crux of being a pyrrhonist. Always avoiding judgement and preferring ambiguity.
Bummer about the animated ads that fly across the screen when you’re trying to read the text. Stupid Seed.
A tie! I am also 76% atheist, and I scored higher than 99% of people my age and sex on pentagrams.
Though I sort of cheated. I’ve never been to church (I’ve been in churches, of course, when travelling) and they didn’t ask about going to any other religious building, which I had to. So it’s not so much cheated as the dude who made it was unsurprisingly Christian-centric.
I am curious about some of the questions though. Is there some kind of atheism music? Do you get more atheist points if you’re either left or right wing, compared to the middle?
I too am an “Ardent Atheist,” though I question some of the methodologies of this quiz. Like most multiple choice tests, its ambiguous wording and limited domain are problematic.
I turned out to be an ardent atheist, too, even though one of my hobbies is Catholic apologetics versus Protestant evangelists. (You can play the game without taking it too seriously.) Perhaps a good religious upbringing is the best preparation for an adulthood of unbelief.
Jan Andrea says
I had 71%… guess I’m too nice :lol:
WTF is with “pentagrams” anyway?
You score 1% higher than me. I think it’s because I refused to choose between God and Satan as my best friend. I should have just flipped a coin.
81%, satan’s lil helper. But I don’t believe in Satan either. Huh. I blame that stupid whose friend would you be question.
Another wishy-washy agnostic here who came up as a Pyrrhonian. But, I also scored 99% on pentagrams. It would be interesting to know WTF the pentagram thing is all about.
Wah, I’m only 68%. How can that be?
The pentagrams is a percentile based on age and gender, I assume. How that works, I don’t entirely know.
And that murder question bothered me as well. Homicide would have been a better word to use.
74 percent here.
“You are an atheist, pure and simple. You think God is just one big lie, and consider religious people to be both annoying and beneath you. Ardent atheists will argue tooth and claw for their position, and have no truck with people that won’t listen. You think being an atheist is the only way to lead an honest life, and see no reason to accept the pleas of faith. Ardent atheists are the backbone of atheism. Be proud.”
A big part of atheism for me is complete honesty. And some of those questions I just couldn’t honestly answer. For instance “Assuming they both exist, who would you rather have as your best friend: Satan, God.”
I don’t think the test was written by an actual atheist, by the way. It felt more like someone in transition. Maybe a young person who leaned that way, but hasn’t actually gotten there yet.
got 64%, the most of the test was much like 2+2=?
c) much greater than 1000000
d) mickey mouse
PZ, just FYI, I’m starting to really dislike the TypeKey sign-in. I hate the fact that I have to get through TWO screens of stuff AND a dialogue box to get to comments.
Hmm. 73% and I tend to agree with T_U_T. I also agree with woofsterNY, TypeKey is a pain in the ass. I wish they would fix the damn thing so it stayed logged in, like 99.9% of the rest of the forum managers.
I got 78%, Ardent Atheist. This one, like most online tests, suffers from myriad wording problems and too limited scope of answers. This should be turned into a true psychological exam by someone to see where people really sit.
66% Ardent atheist, which is odd, because I gave the standard agnostic answer on all the existence questions, and of the four music choices, the gospel harmony one was closest to my musical tastes. (I am quite fond of “Stalin Wasn’t Stallin'” by the Golden Gate Jubilee Quartet.)
Also, the greatest sin is Pride. Any fool knows that.
Dr. Myers, I think that graphic means that not only are you an atheist, but you also hate cloudy days.
Bob O'H says
Only 73%, and my fist was also waving at that cloud. Methinks ’tis like a weasel.
Signing in I had to admit that I lived in Helsinki. But OKCupid wasn’t satified. There were two Helsinkis. Did I live in:
Ian H Spedding says
Hmmm, 62% and an atheist, even though I think of myself as agnostic. It must be the EAC. There have been a couple of black helicopters around recently (well, they looked black against the sky anyway.)
Mrs Tilton says
Hmm. I managed a 50% atheism rating. That might not seem very impressive compared to PZ and some of the other commenters, but the thing is, I am not an atheist. (As it happens, though, I am apparently something called a ‘Pyrrhonist’.)
I agree with Raindog. Many stupid questions, and even more stupid answers. For perhaps a majority of the questions, the answers I would have had to give to respond honestly/accurately were not on the menu.
I think I scored so high because I claimed to know that God doesn’t exist. I answered “no” to all the questions about murdering people and such. It was pretty stupid.
There were two Helsinkis. Did I live in:
Hold on — I’ve got a great idea for quiz: Which Helsinki Do You Live In?
1. There are two Helsinkis. Do you live in:
a. Helsinki, Finland
b. Helsinki, Finland
2. If you could live in any other Helsinki than the one you live in now, would it be:
a. Helsinki, Finland
b. Helsinki, Finland
3. Which of the following is not Helsinki, Finland:
a. Helsinki, Finland
b. Helsinki, Finland
4. What is your age and gender?
a. Helsinki, Finland
b. Helsinki, Finland
Congratulations! You live in Helsinki, Finland. Paste the following code in your blog or webpage:
<h2>Which Helsinki Do You Live In</h2>
<p>You live in</p>
<p><font color=”blue”><b>Helsinki, Finland</b></font></p></div>
Take that, annoyed cloud! I wave my fist at you in contempt!
Well sure, you’re an Ardent Atheist, but are you a Fundamentalist Atheist, or do you worship God’s buttock?
TorbjÃ¶rn Larsson says
“Ardent Atheist 80% … You scored higher than 86% on pentagrams.”
I really like the group name, I’ll have to remember it..
Question 6 is dumb: When is murder acceptable, D) In self-defence
Murder is defined as unlawful killing. Self-defence is generally considered lawful. Therefore self-defence is not murder.
The Ardent Atheist, 75%
67% here, and in total agreement as to the stupidity of some of the question/answer combinations. When I need a good dose of happy atheism, I like to go back and read Penn Jillette’s essay on NPR’s This I believe:
I thought the questions were really bizarre, too – I hadn’t seen and *enjoyed* any of the movies – hadn’t see three of them and hated the one I did see. And others were strangely worded, too – without the chance to opt out.
Tara Mobley says
The Pyrrhonian 59%
You scored higher than 99% on pentagrams
I don’t know what that second stat is about, but being put into the category which is basically Agnostic makes me feel pretty good.
Rob Knop says
You think being an atheist is the only way to lead an honest life,
Reminds me of fundamentalist Christians, who think that being a Fundamentalist Christian is the only way to lead an honest life.
I would like to propose a different term from “Ardent Athiest” — how about “Fundamentalist Athiest”. Expresses it better, I think.
PZ Myers says
No, actually the phrase “fundamentalist atheist” makes no sense. Slamming an atheist for thinking his ideas are more sensible than religious ideas and for denying the existence of gods is rather like calling every Christian who professes a belief in salvation through Jesus Christ a fundamentalist. The only thing fundamental there is the ignorance of the person flinging the term around.
Rob Knop says
The term “Plamegate” doesn’t make sense either, but is used to draw a connection between two things. That’s similar to the usage I’m implying in calling you a “Fundamentalist Athiest.” Common English usage is full of terms that don’t make any sense whatsoever from a reductionist etymological point of view. And, of course, you knew that, but it’s more fun to call me ignorant when I notice an uncomfortable similarity in bad behavior.
The belief that only those who share your ideas about religion are honest is something shared by fundamentalist Christians and PZ-Myers-style athiests (whatever you want to call them). And, thankfully, neither side represents all Christians nor all athiests. However, much as you might try to deny it when it suits you to look like a broad-minded, reasonable sort — by disingenuously saying that you’ve claimed you think your ideas are more sensible than religious ideas, whereas in fact you’ve repeatedly said and implied that a non-athiest cannot be intellectually honest, and indeed here celebrate that claim about yourself in the quiz results — this insistence that only those who agree with you on religion are to be trusted is a trait that you share with fundamentalist Christians.
PZ Myers says
No, I’m saying you’re trying too hard to make a connection — one that doesn’t exist.
I don’t think it’s disingenuous at all to say I think athiest’s ideas are more sensible than theist’s ideas. I do. Really. I’m not making that up. I say it with complete sincerity.
I also think non-atheists can be intellectually honest. They’re just wrong and have deluded themselves.
I also don’t think atheists are the only ones I can trust. I’ve repeatedly pointed out that we atheists vote for Christians in this country — sometimes even with great enthusiasm! — even though we are rarely given any alternatives.
And do not take the text from that quiz as somehow representative of my thinking. I said the questions were dopey and that the picture didn’t even make sense…and from that you assume I’m “celebrating” the thing?
with a Y says
’twas a silly exercise and I got 81% by telling them what they wanted to hear.
I only got 66%, which surprised me, until I realized how lame many of the Q/A pairs were. Also, I see religion as being a natural consequence of human evolution and anthropology, so I don’t really hate religion.
plucky punk says
I got a 70 percent, still ardent, but just barely. I think I have too much of a ‘live and let live’ attitude.
May I offer a gentle reprimand to those criticizing the questions? It’s just an internet personality test, and should be taken with all the same seriousness as the ones in Cosmopolitan, i.e. “What kind of a Strappy Sandal are you?” etc.
77%… I win!
I fully agree that most of the questions on the test were stupid.
PZ, I think you should create a really intelligent atheist ranking quiz. That would be fun.
Alon Levy says
I got an 82%. Everyone bow down to my score.
“Whoa. You’re not just an atheist… you’re an evil atheist! Satan’s Lil’ Helper sees atheism as a good excuse for covering up a whole array of misdemeanours and crimes, because after all, there’s no divine punishment awaiting them when they meet their doom. Whilst not believing in God, Satan’s Lil’ Helper would be ready and waiting to give God a metaphysical wedgie should he ever pop into existence. Keep on sinning, you evil little thing, but just try not to get caught…”
Well, I don’t really commit crimes of any kind, but yeah, if God existed, I’d side with Lucifer.
Keith Douglas says
MYOB: There is a case to be made that Christianity retarded the growth of knowledge. For example, two schools of classical Greek philosophy were (almost) materialist – Stoicism and Epicureanism. For another, biology seems to have been largely dormant for hundreds of years. Of course, there were hinderances to knowledge from other places. In India, the materialist Carvakas (very similar to the Epicureans, as it happens) were also persecuted.
81% – Satan’s Little Helper
Yep, I’m one of those assholes who challenge the fundies when they knock on my door. It’s fun for me and wastes thier time. A win-win for me. Also, the is always the remote chance my arguments might crack their willful ignorance.
Hamilton Lovecraft says
Scored 62% atheist, but I’m actually an Agnostic Deist.
I think your argument falls a little flat. I don’t want to belabor this but one brief thought:
The weak atheist position is a default position. It is honest on it’s face. You or I may not agree with it for a variety of reasons but it IS the more intellectually honest position.
Unless of course you can prove any of the tenets of even one religion let alone Christianity. If you believe a man rose from the dead and ascended into another dimension/place/world it is simply not a rational thought.
We may share it but to think it rational IS dishonest. On that PZ is correct. I mean ‘Fundamentalist Athiest’ has got to be the dumbest comment I’ve ever read. How can one be a fundi when the simply think there is no evidence for something and none has presented itself.
I guess that makes me a ‘fundi nonsanta guy’.
That is pretty dopey. Particularly the question about good and evil, real atheists don’t believe in either of those things.
I didn’t particularly like some of the answer choices, but still managed a respectable 67% – Ardent Atheist. I scored 36% on pentagrams – whatever that is.