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Apr 15 2014

Ken Ham gets his wish

Poor ol’ Ken has been feeling oppressed lately — there was that Noah movie (unbiblical!) and this Cosmos series (godless!), and it was so unfair. Where was the Cosmos show that gave equal time to the one true Biblical story of the universe?

He gets his wish at last. Here it is, Creationist Cosmos.

I hope he’s satisfied now.

20 comments

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  1. 1
    funfly

    Great,finally all my questions answered.

  2. 2
    Trebuchet

    That was a funny-looking sandwich.

  3. 3
    woozy

    there was that Noah movie (unbiblical!)

    Dang, dyslexia. I read that as “there was that Noah movie (umbilical!) ” and had to say “huh?” Hey, so has anyone seen the Noah movie yet?

  4. 4
    woozy

    “That was a funny-looking sandwich.”

    God made the concept of sandwiches. Man makes the individual sandwiches and man, especially Italian man, is imperfect.

  5. 5
    robro

    Trebuchet — “That was a funny-looking sandwich.” It’s open-faced.

    woozy asked — “…has anyone seen the Noah movie yet?” I haven’t seen it but worldwide about $95 million worth of people saw it when it opened. According to Hollywood Insider, it’s “the biggest opening of all time for a non-sequel.” Ham wept.

  6. 6
    Akira MacKenzie

    Meh, I’ve seen funnier take downs of religion.

  7. 7
    woozy

    Trebuchet — “That was a funny-looking sandwich.” It’s open-faced.

    It was a pizza. which …. I guess is really just a kind of open-faced sandwich…. (I think it was meant intentionally as a joke.)

    woozy asked — “…has anyone seen the Noah movie yet?” I haven’t seen it but worldwide about $95 million worth of people saw it when it opened. According to Hollywood Insider, it’s “the biggest opening of all time for a non-sequel.” Ham wept.

    And yet, somehow, none of us atheists are going to it. Kinda weird as it’s was made to be specifically umbilical, oops, unbiblical, you’d think one of us would try and see it.

  8. 8
    Sastrei

    Woozy – I saw it and loved it. A very humanist message (if I’m using that right, effectively, it’s up to us, not some mythical figure not to eff it all up). And the visuals are spectacular (especially The Creation! – worth the price of admission and I was cackling gleefully).

  9. 9
    edmundog

    “Fuck off, Jonah.”

    “Hey, Jonah, you like to travel? And you like to have sex? Great. Fuck off.”

  10. 10
    starskeptic

    I like my sandwiches with anchovies…

  11. 11
    frankb

    I witnessed another miracle in that show of Creationist Cosmos, the miracle of ‘blue screen’. That fella can travel to the pizza joint and to the ends of the Earth and the Universe without leaving the studio. Don’t praise humans for inventing this stuff, praise God.

  12. 12
    Trebuchet

    It was a pizza. which …. I guess is really just a kind of open-faced sandwich…. (I think it was meant intentionally as a joke.)

    Ya think?

  13. 13
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    Jared shows a lack of respect and reverence for christianity*.
    Great job buddy!

    ****

    I wonder if Ken Ham will be happy after viewing Heaven Is For Real (a heartwarming and inspirational movie based on real events)
    ___

    *My spellcheck only recognizes Christianity with a capital ‘C’. Screw you spell check!

  14. 14
    Rey Fox

    #9: Good, I was right, I thought it was Jonah from Veep.

  15. 15
    nonzero

    Here’s a similar spoof from Family Guy, the original Cosmos edited for rednecks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DI9ImScQGAo

  16. 16
    mikeyb

    Wow, something Sam Brownback, Mike Huckabee or Sarah Palin might be able to comprehend and approve of.

  17. 17
    robro

    Trebuchet @#12 — My thought exactly.

  18. 18
    edmundog

    #14 – Yeah, looks like he’s taking a turn for the worse now that he’s not West Wingman anymore.

  19. 19
    anuran

    Of course it was a sandwich.
    If you had Faith you could see the top slice of bread

  20. 20
    carlie

    “Did he get ya? That’s ok, you can still come back into the fold.”

    Something in the delivery of that tickled me more than all the rest.

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