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Jun 19 2013

We’re all doomed now

They’ve mastered our technology.

44 comments

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  1. 1
    Josh, Official SpokesGay

    Stark. Staring. Terror.

  2. 2
    Rowan vet-tech

    Woooooo! Yay snake!

    I, for one, look forward to our new serpent overlords.

  3. 3
    Glen Davidson

    Hands are so superfluous.

    Glen Davidson

  4. 4
    WharGarbl

    I like how the snake just went “thunk” after opening the door.
    And then it’s just like “Okay, I’m out, now what?”

  5. 5
    René

    Sneeky has done pretty well crawling on its belly. Did it say “Hey, it’s me!”?

  6. 6
    Louis

    I love snakes. I LOVE this snake.

    Impressive too, my experience of boids/pythons is that they are serious NOT SMART.

    Louis

  7. 7
    carlie

    Holy shit.

    Maybe round doorknobs would slow them down a bit.

  8. 8
    Inaji

    I’m impressed. I’m also reminded of the day I found my Siamese cat swinging from a doorknob in order to turn it and open the door.

  9. 9
    karley jojohnston

    CLEVER GIRL.

  10. 10
    carlie

    No, not “good job.”

    Bad snake. BAD SNAKE!

  11. 11
    karley jojohnston

    To the snake-a-phobes– I wouldn’t worry until they learn how to cut the power.

  12. 12
    carlie

    From the comments written on the video:

    Yes, she CAN open round knobs, too.

    FUCK.

    Maybe she was taught, and they are too dumb to figure it out for themselves.

    She learned how to open doors years ago of her own accord, and continued to do so

    FUCK.

    Julius was humanely euthanized in early 2012. She had been battling a systemic infection for over a year. We’re not sure what caused it, even the exotics vet was stumped.

    Oh, that’s sad, though. :(

  13. 13
    Rowan vet-tech

    @ Carlie-

    Not really, because of their ability to grip with their bodies.

  14. 14
    Rowan vet-tech

    Re: Julius’ untimely demise…. awwwww….. ;_;

  15. 15
    Josh, Official SpokesGay

    THE HISSING IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE

  16. 16
    anteprepro

    Next stage: The gun range!

  17. 17
    YOB - Ye Olde Blacksmith

    But I thought being forced to slither on their bellies was supposed to be a curse!?

  18. 18
    Sili

    Ouch. What a plonk.

    I found my new kitten in the hall today. I’d forgotten to lock the front door and he managed to hang on to the handle for long enough despite the door being half stuck.

  19. 19
    Rich Woods

    Part one of the serpent masterplan to secretly board aircraft.

  20. 20
    Timid Atheist

    Irrational though it may be, snakes are the one that that I absolutely cannot stand. I have a deep seated terror of them. But not the constrictors oddly enough. Stupid, I know, but there you have it.

    I love albino snakes, they’re so pretty.

  21. 21
    David Marjanović

    Part one of the serpent masterplan to secretly board aircraft.

    Where should I put your new Internet, sir?

  22. 22
    sprocket

    Fascinating! But that will give me nightmares.

  23. 23
    embraceyourinnercrone

    @karley jojohnston

    Umm, I hesitate to mention it, but they already have figured out how to turn the lights out:

    Guam electrical problems caused by Brown Tree Snakes

    “Power outages caused by snakes have been a serious problem on Guam since 1978, and the incidence of snake-caused outages continues to cause significant problems. Records show that more than 1,600 snake-caused outages occurred from 1978-1997.”

    Of course it does require one member of the snake collective sacrificing themselves so hopefully that will discourage our new serpent overlords from taking over for a while….I hope

  24. 24
    Larry

    Meh. When they master the TV remote control, that’s when I put my foot down.

  25. 25
    unclefrogy

    I wonder how many animals if kept as pets would also start to exhibit color variation we seem to like.
    Dogs and cats of course, carp are amazing in their color variation, many birds and as here snakes other reptiles as well, Russian fox. They all have some lose of their natural coloration.
    uncle frogy

  26. 26
    carlie

    I have a deep seated terror of them. But not the constrictors oddly enough. Stupid, I know, but there you have it.

    Maybe because they’re so ridonkulously big. Removes the “you never know when one is going to suddenly show up and get you” fear, and they look too big to be able to move as quickly as they do.

  27. 27
    Rip Steakface

    I feel like I should comment somehow on how terrifying this is, but carlie summed up my thoughts already.

    And I love snakes.

  28. 28
    WMDKitty -- Survivor

    Never. Sleeping. Again.

  29. 29
    anteprepro

    A snake that can open doors could be the perfect horror movie villain. Anaconda meets The Strangers . Like Michael Myers, except behind the mask, he’s a fucking snake! Ayyyyiiiii. How’s that for a twist, M. Night Shyamalan?

  30. 30
    DLC

    Clearly David Icke has had a momentary lapse and returned to his native state.

  31. 31
    Kristjan Wager

    How’s that for a twist, M. Night Shyamalan?

    Not obvious enough. There might be a 5 year old child in the audience who can’t see through it halfway through the movie.

  32. 32
    Stacy

    @Caine

    I’m impressed. I’m also reminded of the day I found my Siamese cat swinging from a doorknob in order to turn it and open the door

    Not long ago I heard Mungo crying in pain. I ran to the rescue, and found him trapped in a kitchen cabinet. He’d gotten in by hooking his paw around the edge of the door and pulling toward himself; he was trying to get out the same way. OUCH.

    When snakes team up with these kittehs we’ll all be in terrible trouble.

  33. 33
    kurt1

    I think snakes eat these kittehs…

  34. 34
    anuran

    As long as we have air conditioning we still have the advantage

  35. 35
    rrhain

    Ow! I fell on my face!

  36. 36
    Marie the Bookwyrm

    I’ve been reading this blog too long. I honestly thought that was a tentacle. :D

  37. 37
    Thumper: Who Presents Boxes Which Are Not Opened

    I was expecting a cat. When I saw the big yellow tube, I thought a cat had somehow manipulated a hoover to loop over the handle. I was impressed. Then the “hoover” started moving, and I realised it was a Burmese Python… well, we’re fucked, aren’t we? We’re just fucked.

  38. 38
    hillaryrettig

    Karley 9 – nice Jurassic Park ref!

    nb – when a constrictor snake’s first name is Julius his/her surname is invariably “Squeezer”

  39. 39
    harbo

    We only have to worry if it offers us an apple.

  40. 40
    ourmandave

    Are these legal as a pet?

    From the video description:

    This is why we keep doors locked with her around. We don’t need her harassing the neighbors.

    Harassing? Try “Oops, I think I left the door open.” to easy peasy, neighbor’s kid squeezy. =(

  41. 41
    David Marjanović

    I wonder how many animals if kept as pets would also start to exhibit color variation we seem to like.
    Dogs and cats of course, carp are amazing in their color variation, many birds and as here snakes other reptiles as well, Russian fox. They all have some lose of their natural coloration.

    That’s natural variation becoming visible when you take natural selection away.

    When snakes team up

    They don’t. They’re complete sociopaths, AFAIK.

    Are these legal as a pet?

    From the video description:

    So? Did you think that was an argument? These things are reportedly legal to own in the US, too.

  42. 42
    andusay

    Enough is enough! I have had it with the motherfucking snakes opening these motherfucking doors!

  43. 43
    Rich Woods

    @David Marjanović #21:

    Where should I put your new Internet, sir?

    Oh, I don’t know. Feel free to send it by airmail.

  44. 44
    Moggie

    David Marjanović:

    They don’t. They’re complete sociopaths, AFAIK.

    Maybe they’re just socially awkward. The guy ones, anyway.

    I was going to call fake on this video, until I watched the other one. Impressive.

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