I do love a good snark


You know who else has internet stalkers and gets hate mail? Tina Fey! But then, she’s a woman, so I guess that comes with the vagina. Fortunately, though, she’s also a professional comedian, so she knows the best way to handle them: with snark. Apparently, her new book, Bossypants, has an entire chapter where she addresses her hate mail, and it’s hilarious. One excerpt:

Posted by jerkstore on Wednesday, 1/21/2009, 11:21 P.M.

“In my opinion Tina Fey completely ruined SNL. The only reason she’s celebrated is because she’s a woman and an outspoken liberal. She has not a single funny bone in her body.”

Dear jerkstore,

Huzzah for the Truth Teller! Women in this country have been over-celebrated for too long. Just last night there was a story on my local news about a “missing girl,” and they must have dedicated seven or eight minutes to “where she was last seen” and “how she might have been abducted by a close family friend,” and I thought, “What is this, the News for Chicks?” Then there was some story about Hillary Clinton flying to some country because she’s secretary of state. Why do we keep talking about these dumdums? We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be?

When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn’t think anyone would notice, but I persevered because—like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle—it was a labor of love.

I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I feel safe with you, jerkstore, so I’ll say it. Everything you ever hated on SNL was by me, and anything you ever liked was by someone else who did it against my will.

Sincerely,

Tina Fey

P.S. You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.

What I also found hilarious is that there are all these harassing assholes on the internet, from ranty obsessed angry cretins like Reap Paden to every cowardly little profanity-spewing anonymous blustering bully, who don’t even realize that they have become the butt of all the jokes. We don’t have to pick on random ethnic groups — Ole & Lena jokes are so stale — we just have to mention these clowns in the comments sections of blogs and on twitter who have no life but to squeak in impotent rage at the world in general, and we’ve already got our punchline. And they don’t know it! They pound the keyboard to fling out their ALL-CAPS ungrammatical angry splutterings, and we’re just laughing at the little capering clowns. Or if you’re a pro like Fey you’re skewering them.

(via Spectacular Attractions.)

Comments

  1. says

    I got in to more trouble in school telling bullies what they could go do with themselves and a meat cleaver. My parents never cared if I fought with my mouth and even gave me helpful bits to really sting with. My dad would direct me to old Don Rickles and Redd Foxx records and of course I held George Carlin and Richard Pryor in high esteem. Life just goes along better if you can chop off a moron’s balls with words

  2. Rodney Nelson says

    I persevered because—like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle—it was a labor of love.

    Classic snark.

  3. says

    I don’t actually like much of her comedy – or even this sort of snark – but it is good to see someone snap back at them with creativity.

  4. shouldbeworking says

    I don’t find Tina Fey all that amusing, although I did enjoy her reply to jerkstore. Except the line about the mother. She has enough humiation just being related to that bozo.

  5. Eridius says

    Bossypants isn’t a new book. It came out in April of 2011. Your link just happens to go to the Mass Market Paperback edition, which hasn’t come out yet.

    It’s also a great read.

  6. says

    Bossypants isn’t a new book. It came out in April of 2011. Your link just happens to go to the Mass Market Paperback edition, which hasn’t come out yet.

    It’s also a great read.

    Yes, but do get the audiobook. In this case it’s extra worthwhile.

  7. pascale68 says

    Tina Fey is my hero. I already loved 30 rock, but she went up in my book when they included “anti-vaccine crusaders” in a group of the world’s idiots!

  8. kayden says

    I’m going to miss “30 Rock” when it goes off the air. (BOO!)
    Tina Fey will always be my hero for her spot on portrayal of Ms. Sarah Palin. Palin should have been flattered.

  9. sambarge says

    Tina Fey is brilliant. She was the best lead writer SNL ever had and made it worth watching, for a change.

  10. chrisv says

    Wow! She nailed jerkstore before he even had the opportunity to say that he can see Russia from his mother’s basement (when he stands on the toilet). Love you, Tina. Slay them dragons!

  11. Ryan Long says

    Tina Fey is funny and talented. I particularly enjoyed Mean Girls.

    However, what does this have to do with Reap Paden? Did he say something somehow comparable to the sexist post from “jerkstore” you have featured here?

    If so I’d be interested to see that quote, and in its proper context.

  12. says

    Reap Paden has been trolling this site under a pseudonym, and has been ranting obscenely about FtB, me, women, etc. for some time — you’re a fucking idiot if you don’t see that he’s exactly like the bullying blustering assholes I’m talking about.

    But then, you are a fucking idiot: you’re a slymepitter and apologist for misogynist vermin, with a history of disingenuous sliming. Banned, as all of your kind are, on sight.

  13. says

    Tina’s postscript making a cheap joke out of jerkstore’s mom being a sex worker sort of undermines the rest of it, but it was funny.

    Long, take it up on Thunderdome, please don’t derail here. Reap’s been trolling here for some time under several names, he keeps getting banned and his comments deleted. So what. Nothing of value was lost.

  14. says

    Ryan, in case you come back to read, your bud Reap circumvented his ban here, again, for the sole purpose of harassing me, in a thread about global warming. He’s…not a balanced person, to say the least.

  15. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    I was with and am with Tina Fey, except for the P.S. about the mother. That’s not right. Not cool, not funny.

  16. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    Yeah, PZ but if she was really creative and funny she could have used the set up from the 3rd line in jerkstore’s letter for something better, instead going for the common slut shaming, “Your mom’s a cheap whore!” joke.

    I just didn’t like it or find it funny is all.

  17. erikthebassist says

    ok I lol’d and now I feel dirty, JAL is right, it’s slut shaming, in every sense of the word.

  18. Tony the Queer Shoop (proud supporter of Radical Feminism) says

    Yeah, I was trying to interpret that PS in a charitable way, but can’t come up with anything that works. It slut shames. Without it, Tina Fey’s response would be pitch perfect.

  19. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    Without it, Tina Fey’s response would be pitch perfect.

    Yep, totally agree. Sorry guys, not trying to be a killjoy because the rest of it is great but the last line just left a bad after taste.

  20. erikthebassist says

    Suggested text:

    Ms Fey,

    You may not be aware, but there is an undercurrent of feminism in the secular, atheist, gaming, geek and science communities. It is gaining in strength and voice, and recently, you have gotten our attention. You are a welcome voice among a cacophony of belligerence and sexism.

    We would love to throw our full support behind you…. but…

    You do things like make slut shaming jokes about people’s mothers. If you aren’t familiar with the term “slut shaming”, please google it, there is plenty of information about it and how it contributes to the patriarchy. “We” (you and us) should not be in the business of perpetuating stereo types that denigrate women. Making jokes about mother’s who are sluts does exactly that.

    You are a brilliant and vibrant voice who gets it, just please think about it a little bit more?

  21. rocko2466 says

    I don’t think Ryan Long’s a slymepitter. I’ve checked and haven’t seen him there.

    Also, P.Z.’s right – that is a funny joke about the hate-mailer’s mum.

    Also, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Reap Paden do anything sexist. Are we talking about the same guy?

  22. Matt Penfold says

    Also, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Reap Paden do anything sexist.

    And since when has your ignorance been relevant to this discussion ?

  23. Tony the Queer Shoop (proud supporter of Radical Feminism) says

    @29:
    I cannot do links on my phone easily, so hopefully someone else will. Reap Paden is a sexist fuckface.
    The PS joke depends on women as prostitutes for its punchline. It trades the funny for shaming women who are in the sex industry. They get enough bullshit directed their way without having to face comedians making fun of their occupation in a negative light.

  24. rocko2466 says

    I’d like to see the links. I’m not being ignorant. I’m just asking for information. I don’t like being trolled by Matt Penfold for not having the links.

  25. Matt Penfold says

    I’d like to see the links. I’m not being ignorant. I’m just asking for information. I don’t like being trolled by Matt Penfold for not having the links.

    I am sorry I did not provide links. Clearly I was expecting too much of you in that I did think you might be able to find out on your own. Clearly I overestimated your abilities in that regard. Can you explain why you have been unable to find Paden’s YouTube channel ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=5OhbLDFeE4w

    Also try to find the podcast he made with Al Stefanali. The original has been taken down.

    So you are being ignorant. The only question is if your ignorance is genuine, willful or because you are stupid.

  26. Matt Penfold says

    And basically, go read what he has said, and go listen to the podcasts and videos he has made.

    Then come back and tell us he is not a sexist arsehole

  27. unclefrogy says

    the last line was bad because it was supposed to be. The others were funny and insulting and could be taken with not too great a stretch as some what friendly but just to make it clear the last line goes all eat shit and die you worthless …..
    it was not meant to be funny

    uncle frogy

  28. shawnthesheep says

    I absolutely love Tina Fey. She is among the funniest people on the planet. I remember an article in the New Yorker a few years ago where they were talking about her early days when she did a sketch where she played Catherine the Great. She said, “You can be a murderous tyrant and history will remember you fondly, but fuck one horse and you’re a horse-fucker for all eternity.”

    As for the P.S., I think the point of the joke was that it was sexist and ironic. It perfectly sums up how sexists fail to connect the dots. They somehow try to be both anti-woman and pro-mom at the same time.

  29. rq says

    This book is an excellent read – and aside from some opinions on how to get more women in the industry (or any other male-dominated industry) (that is, women should just do it), which aren’t always easy to accomplish just like *that*, I loved it immensely. And Tina Fey is awesome.
    I don’t really like the PS, for the reasons listed above.

  30. says

    rocko2466 another slymepitter? Into the lymepit with him. When will you creepy scum learn I don’t want you around here, ever?

  31. Matt Penfold says

    Into the lymepit with him

    I’m getting a little concerned. How big is this lymepit ? Can it accommodate all those who are being thrown into it. We don’t want anything to leak from the ‘pit as it is pretty toxic stuff.

  32. =8)-DX says

    To be fair, that piece hate-male was not half as bad as they get. But Fey’s response was actually quite enlightening, because it highlights the dude’s premise that women somehow get special treatment. No, if women are just overall rejected from and ingored in a certain field, it’s not special treatment if a few of them do make the limelight.

  33. atheist says

    What I also found hilarious is that there are all these harassing assholes on the internet, from ranty obsessed angry cretins like Reap Paden to every cowardly little profanity-spewing anonymous blustering bully, who don’t even realize that they have become the butt of all the jokes.

    This is a really good point. When comments on a blog post spike it is generally a sign it is being trolled. The stupidity of the trolls gives the usual commenters license to burn on them and insult them. Our natural tendency to be an asshole, normally held in check, is given a purpose. It’s a liberating feeling, in a way.

  34. atheist says

    This is also related:
    Thank You Hater“, by Clever Pie and Isabel Fay, musical video

    “You’re sexually aggressive, racist, homophobe, misogynistic, cowardly, illiterate, waste of human skin.”

  35. wbenson says

    Does anyone reading this have information on the history of hate mail, crank letters and poison-pen correspondence. Hate mail does not seem at all recent, but it is hard to find older references before 1900. I have a mention to ‘crank letters’ from 1882 and to ‘crank mail’ from 1898. What about ‘poison pen’?

  36. RFW says

    How on earth does a society end up infested with jerks like “Jerkstore”?

    That question is on all fours with ones regarding Tea Partiers, conspiracy theorists, UFO nuts, “alternate energy” fans, rabid homophobes, the RCC hierarchy, and a number of other categories where a normal person goes huh? how on earth can anyone believe that nonsense?

    Subordinate questions in pursuit of an answer include the incidence of such crazies in other countries (the US is by no means alone) and what fraction of the whackos have a genuine mental illness (not some goddamned DSM-5 “we’re all crazy” category).

    Is it bad education? Poor parenting? Innate, present at birth?

    Can a tendency in the whacko direction be restrained before it gets out of hand?

    If anyone can shed a glimmer of light on these question, please speak up, or present links to good material online. I confess I am puzzled.

  37. scottlesch says

    Poor Reap Paden. I deleted the link to his podcast. It became very sad. The guy has issues with his family and was really sad and angry on The Dumbdowned Atheist podcast.

  38. scottlesch says

    wbenson,

    President Lincoln used to get terrible hate mail. One of his secretaries kept it from him.

  39. grumpyoldfart says

    That PS was a good one. It was designed to create a dilemma for jerkstore and it probably worked a treat.

  40. says

    I’ll bet that lymepit is at least as deep as the ignorance of the scum being thrown in, the vacuum between there ears helps with the excavation.

  41. Ing:Intellectual Terrorist "Starting Tonight, People will Whine" says

    I don’t mind my job stirring the lymepit but sometimes the rats in it do nibble on my arms

    (very obscure reference)

  42. caseycarrington says

    Hey PZ, could you not equate being a woman to having a vagina? There are a lot of women out there that don’t have a vagina. Thanks! :D

  43. Alverant says

    All that’s missing from jerkface is to blame her for making Palin look bad and causing her to lose the election.

  44. athyco says

    Maybe her postscript could be about his making an anatomy mistake?

    P.S. The funny bone is actually a nerve. I have two, and it’s not my gynecologist who deals with them.

    P.S. Your spelling is wrong. I have a funny bone. I didn’t have a funny bonehead until you wrote to me.

    P.S. True, bones aren’t funny–calcified stiffs, they are. Unlike your funny boner.

    *ducks out*

  45. D Wolfin says

    Frst f ll, th lst cmmnt md hr ws t tll Cn, th qn f lbl, t sht p.(sh ccsd m f mkng rp thrts) f y thnk shld st nd llw hr, y, r nyn ls t sy whtvr thy wsh bt m thn y cn sck t. ‘m nt sm stpd crtnst nd y rn’t th frst dmwttd dt ‘v hd t tch lssn. ‘m ky wth y lghn t m PZ, n fct xpct t. t shws hw lttl y ndrstnd bt th dmg y hv dn t yr crdblty nd cn lmst hr yr dgnty scrmng fr mrcy s y tr t wy n stpd ct t tm. Rspct PZ, y lck t. Y r n sht scntst, y dn’t vn knw m bt y thnk t’s ky t ct lk y d. Jst lk y dn’t knw th ppl n th slympt bt thy r cndmnd by dflt, nthng thy sy s wrthy f cnsdrtn. Wht f vryn bhvd lk y PZ? Y clm t wnt t mk th wrld bttr plc fr vryn. Hw wll tht vr hppn f w pnsh ppl fr wh thy ssct wth, thngs thy hv nvr dn, r fr wht thy mght d?
    Y wld d wll t stp shkng tht blly wth lghtr nd lstn wll. m n cwrd nd m n blly bt wll kp rspndng t y s lng s y cntn t ct lk y sht gmdrps nd pss rnbws. dn’t knw wh th fck y thnk y r bt hv n rght t lbl m s sxst, rcst r nythng ls. t s nt yr plc t dtrmn hw thrs s m by msrprsntng my wrds/ctns. Nt nly d y blttl nd vlfy m bt thn y hv th nrv t lgh bt t?
    Y r th cwrd nd y r th n wh s th jk PZ y r jst t dmn stpd t rlz t.
    < hrf="http://rpswrd.cm/grphcs/fly.gf" rl="nfllw">Tk ths fr xmpl

    Kp n syng y r lghng PZ, knw y r pssd. Tht’s ky, th trth nly hrts f y dsrv t. hv pdcst t pst s rlly mst g, y hv grt dy. Hw s tht dngn thng wrkng t BTW? h h wh’s lghng nw? Y r gng t hv t mdrt sn rn’t y? Tht’s t bd….

    [Bye, Reap. You’re really pathetic, you know that? –pzm]

  46. dysomniak, darwinian socialist says

    What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be?

    may be one of the best uses of “Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking”” I’ve ever seen.

    And Reap, wow. I subscribe by email so I get to see all the removed/disemvoweled comments before the poopyhead gets to them and just WOW. Is he trying to out-Hoggle Hoggle? Does he really think that spamming content free rants destined for the dust bin makes him some kind of Warrior for Free Speech?

  47. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Would you believe I’ve got 9 different pseudonyms that Reap Paden has used in my filter file? He’s so sad and desperate.

    Well, if you can’t get attention by being good, intelligent, and cogent, he fallaciously thinks you can intimidate and bully people by throwing the equivalent of a two-year-old’s temper tantrums. Pitiful, just pitiful, as any mature person sees through the incoherant and illogical noise to the lack of anything underneath.