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Apr 04 2013

Skepchickileaks

In the past I have mocked a lot of the hyperbolic rage-whining that comes at near-incessant frequency from the band of devoted camp followers that have made it their life’s mission to destroy FreethoughtBlogs, Skepchick, Atheism+, feminism, the concept of equality, the colour orange, and basically anything else they consider a personal affront. I have not held back in voicing my scorn for a group of people who seem to have endless amount of time, energy, hatred, and immaturity – I seriously do not know where these people find the wherewithal to work themselves into this level of froth over the fact that a blog network exists.

One of the oft-parroted claims made by this shrieking horde is that FTBchickminism+ is “ruining the movement”: that atheism was doing just stupendously well for everyone before the “FTBullies”* showed up and ruined it by… I honestly have never been clear on what the mechanism of “ruining” has been. This, of course, is contrasted against the other claim – that FTBchickminism+ is so ludicrously marginal and derogated by all right-thinking atheists that it is an abject failure and can’t possibly amount to anything. It is sometimes the same people making these contradictory claims. The mind boggles.

Up until now, my position on this kind of over-wrought conspiracy mongering has been fairly consistent: FTB is not the boogey-man; it’s a network of blogs that (mostly) existed before there was a network to begin with. Atheism+ isn’t ruining atheism; it’s a reaction to the fact that it was already ruined for a lot of people. Skepchick is not rounding up all male atheists to throw them into a witch’s cauldron of menses and liquid misandry. Go get hobbies that don’t involve Twitter, Reddit, or Photoshop.

That was until a recent event that, as far as I know, I am the first person to bring to the public sphere.

Many of you are undoubtedly aware of the FTB “back channel” – an e-mail listserv where we conspire to destroy people’s careers talk about network issues and worship PZ as a living god troubleshoot tech stuff. What you may not know is that there are various password-protected ‘tiers’ within the back-channel. Our executive committee has a locked thread that regular members don’t have access to, and PZ and Ed have their own tier for the very highest-level stuff. As a goof, I sometimes like to try and ‘hack’ in using ridiculous passwords. I bore easily, what can I say?

It stopped being funny the day I accidentally entered ‘destroyallmen69′.

What I had thought to be a private listserv for Ed and PZ was, in fact, the staging ground for a conspiracy that goes so deep, I haven’t quite been able to unravel it all yet. A cabal made up of the heads of FTB, Skepchick, members of Patheos, the Atheism+ moderators, CFI, NARAL, Planned Parenthood, Tampax, the UN, the Bilderberg Group, and a number of other multinational organizations has been conspiring for months, perhaps years, to undermine the atheist community from within. What is clear, even from a superficial scanning, is that there is a plan to destroy the online atheist community. More disturbing even than that is the fact that it is well on its way to fruition. What follows is the few concrete steps I have deciphered so far.

It is important to note that we’re already a number of steps in, so things like “hypnotize prominent atheists into writing stupid things in public forums in order to undermine credibility of intellectual leadership” have already happened.

- Mobilize Atheism+ Forums

“Once the sacred womb (a term I have deciphered as referring to the A+ forums) has reached sufficient quickening, the nascent period shall be declared ended. We shall unleash our ideological drones upon an unsuspecting world. Not even the combined valiant efforts of the Guardians (I am reasonably sure this refers to the Slymepit) will be powerful enough to stop us. Until such time, it is of utmost importance that the sacred womb appear to be nothing more than a place where like-minded people go to talk about stuff they’re interested in without constantly having to deal with the clueless raving of a bunch of assholes.”

- Silence All Dissenters

“As you all know, white men are the ordained defenders of free speech, because they are the only ones with no political agenda and whose rationality is perfectly untainted by emotion or bias. We cannot hope to prevail against the clear superiority of their air-tight argumentation unless they are completely silenced. Once all conferences have been bullied into creating “sexual harassment policies”, we will subtly change the wording to ensure that anything a white man says or does is deemed offensive, and will thus be removed and punished to the full extent of the law.

“P.S.: ensure that offending someone also becomes illegal. Also, change standard for burden of proof to ensure that any accusation is legally actionable, but only if you have a uterus or a tan.

“P.P.S.: make sure white men never learn about Twitter, Facebook, e-mail, blogging, newspaper columns, telephones, verbal speech, or Morse code.”

- Destroy The Practice of Science

“Because all questions of any type can be answered through a single set of methods, and because those methods demonstrate clearly that racism and sexism only exist if the perpetrator personally believes that their own conduct is wrong, we must destroy the white man’s chief weapon: his science. By re-casting even the mere asking of questions as “patriarchy” (a word that we have invented and is not at all based in decades of literature and inquiry), we will ensure that science can no longer keep us from our long-held goal of oppressing men. The pinnacle and most evidence-based of the scientific methods, Evolutionary Psychology, already lies in ruins before our slanderous onslaught. Suggested next target: whatever branch of science proves that men are stronger and therefore better than women.”

- Create/Release the Kraken

“Once High Priestess McCreight has completed her biology degree, the time shall be ripe to extract DNA from High Priest PZ and Her Glittering Majesty, The All-Powerful And All-Knowing Rebecca (long may her terrible reign last). McCreight will combine the DNA and create the ultimate hybrid: Pezecca Watsyers. This beast will have all the privilege of a white man, with all the low cunning, ruthlessness, and hypocritical sex appeal of a ladyfeminist – it will be unstoppable.

Behind the awesome power of the Kraken, we shall begin rounding up all the non-indoctrinated men into the re-education camps (code named: The Friend Zone). Successfully indoctrinated men, including our long-term mindslave collaborators, will be housed in the forced breeding tents in order to ensure that they are forever obligated to pay us alimony so that we don’t have to work. Any resisters, or people who have previously been labeled with the approved pejorative slurs, will be rounded up and boiled alive in our cauldron of menses and liquid misandry.”

Obviously this is terrifying stuff, but perhaps the most chilling passage was the one I found toward the end of the document:

The only thing that could stop this plan is if a brave group of heroes stands up and decides to exploit our only weakness: incessant internet trolling and obsessive cyberstalking through Photoshopped memes and crude nicknames. The rise of “FreeFromThoughtBlogs” almost destroyed the entire enterprise, so great was its persuasive power.

I am putting myself at great risk by even reading this, let alone publishing it. Obviously I owe a lot of people apologies – your fears were well-founded, and I was wrong to suggest that you were just a bunch of pathetically fixated jerks with nothing better to do than find new ways to broadcast your own insecurity. Clearly you were misunderstood prophets. I understand that now. I only hope, no, pray that it’s not too late, and you can still turn back the tide of creeping feminist Sharia.

According to the documents I unearthed, Skepchicks have assassins everywhere, so if I suddenly go missing, it is imperative that you immedi…

Like this article? Follow me on Twitter!

*Seriously, if you’ve ever used this term in a non-ironic fashion, you seriously need to learn to laugh at yourself. Trust me, you’ll have plenty of company.

97 comments

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  1. 1
  2. 2
    Crommunist

    You think this is a JOKE???

  3. 3
    oolon

    Didn’t you get the memo from Franc Hoggle, kook-in-chief, apparently Greta is the secret outer head of the FfTB/Skepchick/A+/WBC cabal…. She pulls PZ’s strings with threats of outing him as a secret misogynist and uses her feminine wiles to presumably seduce all the other feminists into her conspiracy.

    I stopped listening to Reap Padens podcast with Victor/Hoggle/Devils/Ivanoff shortly after this bit so I don’t know if it went any deeper. Its been said they are beyond parody and I reckon seriously positing the lovely Greta as any sort of conspiratorial type gives you a run for your money.

  4. 4
    Crommunist

    I didn’t think it was psychologically possible to dislike Greta.

  5. 5
    oolon

    I see she has got to you already … *backs off slowly*

  6. 6
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    Crommunist, I am immensely glad you are on the side of feminism in this. I should not like to be on the wrong end of your well-trained battery of 225mm self-propelled snarktillery.

  7. 7
    Crommunist

    Sometimes I toy with the idea of pseudonymously starting an anti-feminist blog. It wouldn’t be difficult to be a stand-out writer in that crowd.

  8. 8
    Dana Hunter

    Fucking hell. I haven’t laughed so hard I cried for ages. The cat thinks I’m dying. I don’t even care that our cunning schemes lie in ruins around us. It’s just a dammed good thing I was home.

    Only one thing left to say: I’ll get you, my pretty! *evil cackle*

  9. 9
    PZ Myers

    You know what happened to the last guy to crack the code and get access to the private domain of the backchannel, right?

  10. 10
    noastronomer

    “… creeping feminist Sharia.”

    I, for one, welcome our new over-ladies.

    Mike

  11. 11
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    noastronomer:

    I, for one, welcome our new over-ladies

    Ladies? LADIES?

    Take him away to Grrltanamo, and fetch the comfy chair.

  12. 12
    Louis

    It’s all true except for one thing. We manginas are only in feminism for the pussy. ‘S true. I read it on the internet.

    Louis

  13. 13
    Alethea Kuiper-Belt

    I think there’s another layer of conspiracy to go. Ophelia is very suspiciously conspicuous by her absence from this list. Rebecca Watson herself may perhaps be a front, covering up for our true Evil Overlady.

  14. 14
    Inaji

    Oh, pure poetry, a masterpiece! A most cunning plan indeed.

  15. 15
    Crommunist

    We manginas are only in feminism for the pussy. ‘S true. I read it on the internet.

    That’s what the forced breeding tents are for.

  16. 16
    bcmystery

    I hope the forced breeding tents have curtains or something. I’m shy.

  17. 17
    Julien Rousseau

    “P.P.S.: make sure white men never learn about Twitter, Facebook, e-mail, blogging, newspaper columns, telephones, verbal speech, or Morse code.”

    Ha! Joke’s on the FTBullies, the forces of light knows about semaphores.

    (/sarcasm)

    Very funny article, thanks.

  18. 18
    yazikus

    will be rounded up and boiled alive in our cauldron of menses and liquid misandry.

    This line made me lol so hard. I’m totally going to find a way to work it into some conversation in real life.

  19. 19
    Crommunist

    You know what happened to the last guy to crack the code and get access to the private domain of the backchannel, right?

    He was never heard from again… except by the handful of people with access to Youtube.

  20. 20
    Jafafa Hots

    Well I’m not worried. If their target date was ’69 then they already lost long ago.

    What?

  21. 21
    Uncle Ebeneezer

    I didn’t think it was psychologically possible to dislike Greta.

    It’s not! That’s what makes her so dangerous! One minute she’s writing about fashion and the next she charms you into zombie-walking to the atm, withdrawing your life savings and donating it to her quest for world domination and over-priced shoes (anything beyond flip flops being EXTRAVAGANT!) Fortunately we have those brave foot-soldiers who are willing to hoist C-words and death threats at any uppity feminazkeptic, in the name of FTLiberty. May God bless them, each and every one.

    Btw- your post reminded me of this great book. A little dated, but nothing has really changed.

  22. 22
    Sophia, Michelin-starred General of the First Mediterranean Iron Chef Batallion

    Yup, now, time to hop off to the Menz Penz for your introductory emasculation training. You don’t want to miss the part with the scissors, that’s important.

    ALL HAIL PEZECCA AND THE FEMVOLUTION.

  23. 23
    Gregory in Seattle

    As the leftover turkey said four nights after Thanksgiving: “Curses! Foiled again!”

  24. 24
    Randomfactor

    but only if you have a uterus or a tan.

    Technical question…does it have to be MY uterus? I mean, like, inside and everything?

  25. 25
    Kris

    This made my day.

    Also, let the out of context quoting begin!

  26. 26
    smhll

    As you all know, white men are the ordained defenders of free speech, because they are the only ones with no political agenda and whose rationality is perfectly untainted by emotion or bias.

    This put a big, evil grin on my face, which probably proves how evil I am.

    (Also, I eventually started laughing so hard that I couldn’t focus my eyes on the screen and I read “back channel” as “bechamel”. Sneaky and delicious! Best served over a pile of misandry hash.)

  27. 27
    R Johnston

    Well, my day is definitely better for having read that. Thank you Crommunist!

  28. 28
    miles

    Dammit Cromm, for the first time in my life I’ve just laughed the same gawdawful laugh that my dad has (kinda sounds like a train going through a tunnel). I thought I’d been spared this horrible trait, but apparently just like the incredible hulk I needed the right (or wrong!) thing to set it off.

  29. 29
    NateHevens, resident SOOPER-GENIUS... apparently...

    Oh. My. God.

    Thank you.

    This was just… LMAOOL doesn’t do it justice. I think I ruptured my spleen laughing so hard.

    I’m gonna head off to the hospital, now…

    Thanks.

  30. 30
    NateHevens, resident SOOPER-GENIUS... apparently...

    I’m in moderation?

    DAMN PEZECCA!

    *ehem*

    I mean…

    I’m sorry… please don’t boil me…

  31. 31
    melaniemallon

    How do we know that you weren’t allowed to hack the super secret backchannel, that this information wasn’t planted for the sole purpose of diverting our attention from what’s really going on?

    The complete and utter annihilation of free speech. Or something often confused with free speech. Free peaches? What do you have against free peaches?

    Monster.

  32. 32
    Crommunist

    How do we know that you weren’t allowed to hack the super secret backchannel, that this information wasn’t planted for the sole purpose of diverting our attention from what’s really going on?

    You can’t see, but I’m wearing a lab coat and holding a clipboard. You can trust me.

  33. 33
    Tom Foss

    FtB moves ever closer to world domination by winning all the Internets. That comment by Femtheist Overpope PZ was the best thing I’ve read all day, long may his tentacled scioness reign. I look forward to my place in the breeding tents when the rovulation comes–maybe I’ll even get to be a mangineral!

    Methinks Ben Radford and some photoshop artists could learn a thing or two from this post. What a shame that the wi-fi around the cauldron is so spotty.

  34. 34
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    31: How do we know that you weren’t allowed to hack the super secret backchannel, that this information wasn’t planted for the sole purpose of diverting our attention from what’s really going on?

    Shhhhh!! Otnay inway rontfay ofway ethay enmay!

    Noodly Appendages! Don’t you people READ THE BRIEFINGS?

  35. 35
    Onamission5

    Shit you guys, they’re onto us. Quick! Hide the kittens and octopodes!

    *scurries back to sacred womb to join the rest of the ideological drones*

  36. 36
    doubtthat

    I knew it!

  37. 37
    Avery Thompson

    Aha! I knew it! You sneaky SkepChiFemTBtheist+ people shall never win! We will fight them in the trenches, we will fight them in the comments, we will fight them on the podcasts, and we will never surrender!

  38. 38
    Miri, Professional Fun-Ruiner

    According to the documents I unearthed, Skepchicks have assassins everywhere, so if I suddenly go missing, it is imperative that you immedi…

    It is imperative that we immediately WHAT? Follow you on Twitter? You can’t leave us hanging like this. Come back!

  39. 39
    Kevin

    ^^^^This is how you do satire.

    ^^^^This. Not that other stuff.

  40. 40
    Wowbagger, Designated Snarker

    Another example of something else we shit all over the ‘pitters at: humour.

  41. 41
    Crommunist

    I disagree. They’re extremely funny. Just not intentionally

  42. 42
    Holms

    I suspect this is related: when I went to visit a bitter, divorced friend of mine all I found was this scrap of charred paper under his desk. I must pass on his final warning to the rest of us, the few unfemmed manfolk.

    It is grim reading, I fear their end was cruel. Listen! We cannot get out. We cannot get out. They have taken the bedroom and the second hall. Jim and Rob and Bill fell there. Then there are four lines smeared so that I can only read went 5 days ago. The last lines run the pool is up to the wall at the back door. The Kraken in the water took Murray. We cannot get out. The Fem comes, and then tampons, tampons in the deep. I wonder what that means. The last thing written is in a trailing scrawl of manly caps lock: THEY ARE COMING. There is nothing more.

  43. 43
    tim rowledge, Ersatz Haderach

    Forced breeding of tents is unethical! I’m calling PETA (Persons for Ethical Tent Activities)!

  44. 44
    alwayscurious

    ‘destroyallmen69′

    Hey! That’s the password on my email account! Now I have to go change it!

  45. 45
    Onamission5

    tampons, tampons in the deep.

    I take my hat off to you, dear Holms. That one goes in the lexicon alongside Sssssssss.

  46. 46
    ednaz

    All Hail Pezecca Watsyers!!

  47. 47
    Rowan vet-tech

    Holms, you comment made me laugh harder than the original post as I am an enormous LotR fan. Well done!

  48. 48
    Shaun McGonigal

    Thank you for this!

    After a day of trying to convince a long time atheist activist, writer, and friend that FtB is not full of bullies (I was not successful) I needed this.

    Shaun

  49. 49
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    Holms @32: Pure weapons-grade snarkium, that was. It’s practically contravened the NPT.

    Also, Kim Jong Un called and said he was going to turn your e-mailbox into a lake of fire, insisting that such WMD* will be matched by the Democratic People’s Republic!

    * Words of Mirthful Distraction

  50. 50
    sharoncrawford

    You have surpassed yourself. Fantastic and funny.

  51. 51
    anthropologistunderground

    “…not rounding up all male atheists to throw them into a witch’s cauldron of menses and liquid misandry”

    What other possible purpose did FSM have in mind when we were granted the Diva Cups?!

    Pedantry: I am not a biologist, but I’m pretty sure menses = liquid misandry. “Menses and liquid misandry” is redundant.

  52. 52
    HaifischGeweint

    You forgot to add mention of being castrated by a voluptuous dominatrix while a sissy in ruffle silk panties reads from his diary, all the fantasies he had in high school about being taken up the ass by his date on prom night.

    I know both the sissy for the job and the stories. He makes a living making cupcakes.

    I’m actually being literal here.

  53. 53
    Crommunist

    I wouldn’t say I forgot that… more like “didn’t include because I have NFC what you’re talking about”

  54. 54
    leebrimmicombe-wood

    May I have a black helicopter? Always wanted one of those.

    Oh, and fembot minions, if you please.

  55. 55
    Rutee Katreya

    You are the anchor that gives my spirit license to soar.

  56. 56
    DLC

    Crom! but your post just freezes my peaches.

  57. 57
    Deen

    So powerful are they, that they’ve managed to delay the release of these revealing documents for about three days… Thanks for overcoming the resistance though, you brave hero you.

  58. 58
    ildi

    Randomfactor:

    does it have to be MY uterus? I mean, like, inside and everything?

    As long as the woman is unconscious and never finds out, it’s totes ok to “borrow” her uterus.

  59. 59
    flex

    Funny tag? Indeed.

  60. 60
    Moggie

    You know those stories about how people are going to be rounded up and sent to FEMA reeducation camps? That’s based on a miscommunication: it’s female reeducation camps.

  61. 61
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    I hope the forced breeding tents have curtains or something. I’m shy.

    Don’t worry, there’s a lot more than curtains there…

    Obligatory Youtube video

  62. 62
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    As an addendum:
    I understand that the video in my link is problematic since it’s basically a bunch of white guys using their white privilege to get away with singing that. I like it for the irony. And for the memories of a youth long gone by…

  63. 63
    sisu

    Bravo!

    http://cheezburger.com/3412934144

  64. 64
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Bravo!

    http://cheezburger.com/3412934144

    That’s some guy looking forward to the breeding tents, I guess…
    *muah-ha-ha-ha*

  65. 65
    CX316

    Wait, being a feminist was meant to get me laid? God damn it, I knew I’d skipped a step somewhere!

  66. 66
    Illuminata, Genie in the Beer Bottle

    I LOL’d and my boss told me to keep it down. he must be a pit member. SEIZE HIM!!!!!

  67. 67
    HaifischGeweint

    Whoops! Cat’s out of the bag!

  68. 68
    Jackie

    Muhahahahahaha!
    *holds flashlight under chin for effect*

  69. 69
    embertine

    I full-on sporfled. Thank you.

  70. 70
    karmacat

    Damn. Our she-ra man-hater’s club was just about to put out t-shirts with our motto: “To Use, Abuse, and Sexually Peruse all Men.” Now we will have to go with a different business plan to take over the world. Curses (special thanks to my friend Kerry for the motto)

  71. 71
    David Marjanović

    This beast will have all the privilege of a white man, with all the low cunning, ruthlessness, and hypocritical sex appeal of a ladyfeminist –

    And the hair! Don’t forget the feminist hair !!

    Wait, being a feminist was meant to get me laid? God damn it, I knew I’d skipped a step somewhere!

    I guess that according to comment 70 there’s still hope for us.

  72. 72
    patterson

    As a card carrying Central Ontario Mangina, can I respectfully request something a little warmer for the breeding pens than tents. Also black fly season is coming, which might be a tent issue as well.

  73. 73
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    Ouch, patterson, there’s a mental image: black fly bites and nudity. Two things which should never go together.

    Or, “that’s gonna leave a mark!”

    On the other hand, male nudity and a cool Central Ontario summer night could provide…shall we say at least a smaller target for the black flies to assail?

  74. 74
    A Hermit

    As this was not written on April 1 and confirms some people’s biases the only rational and inescapable conclusion is that it is all true. This is how skepticism works, or so I’ve been told by assorted Youtube commenters and slymepitters…

  75. 75
    Raging Bee

    Ophelia is very suspiciously conspicuous by her absence from this list. Rebecca Watson herself may perhaps be a front, covering up for our true Evil Overlady.

    Well, there may be one way to find out: throw coffee in her face and see if it changes.

  76. 76
    barnestormer

    I don’t have anything clever to add; this is just the best thing I’ve read all week. THANK YOU FOR BEING AWESOME.

  77. 77
    freemage

    I’ve uncovered further pictographical evidence-y stuff of just how depraved this conspiracy is.

  78. 78
    Crommunist

    throw coffee in her face and see if it changes.

    Words can’t really describe how disturbing I find this suggestion, even as a joke.

  79. 79
    The Rose

    So…The Hain is reversing…..again.

    http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hain

  80. 80
    onion girl, OM; social workers do it with paperwork

    I really needed a laugh today, thank you. :)

    I’ve been pretty much gone from FTB for months, so I don’t know if this is the first use of ‘FTBchickminism+’–did I miss this? Because all I want now is a t-shirt that says FTBchickminist+ to wear to WISII. :)

  81. 81
    John Horstman

    :-D

    Forced breeding tents? They might not hate that so much. “For many of you this will mean much less breeding; for me, much, much more.”

  82. 82
    Arakiba

    Aggrieved privilege. That’s the correct term, isn’t it?

  83. 83
    Rutee Katreya

    I feel I’ve been too much of a fun sponge today, so random link at the blog of a Person of Taste, so they may appreciate it.

    http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3tpwa3/
    http://24.media.tumblr.com/e0fcb1fcb6314c6cf67e317e71f80eb6/tumblr_mkom8mB9dU1qdm5ngo1_500.png

  84. 84
    Glendon Mellow

    Awesome, Crom.

  85. 85
    tiberiusbeauregard

    “Crommunism is a temporary setback on the road to freedom.”

  86. 86
    vicvanity

    the Backchannel is so secret . that Ed and PZ are not even aloud to read the Magic women from the shadow government Tell them what is in it on a need to know basis

  87. 87
    DanDare

    Actually, PZ is under direct control of the Fred Birch Society which is in turn controlled by the Servants of Cthulhu, who manage Rebecca via The IRS and Bikie gangs. Unfortunately Dawkins is controlled directly from the Gnomes of Zurich who also manage Greta via the Goldfish Fanciers. Oh, and Sam Harris is the only agent on Earth for the UFOs.

  88. 88
    Itchy Ike

    “Silence All Dissenters” — At the University of Toronto, where the administration dared to promote intellectual discourse at an educational institution, feminists did everything in their power, including pulling the fire alarm and threatening attendees with violence, to disrupt a men’s issues presentation. But that’s not silencing anyone, right? No feminists chanted as loudly as possible to drown out the presenters. No feminists screamed in the faces of the men who just wanted to hear what the presenters had to say. I guess that just the patriarchy.

    “Destroy the Practice of Science” — Gender dimorphism is a fact rooted in evolution. Male and female humans evolved with significantly different physical characteristics because of their gender roles/requirements. Gender roles exist separate from any societal (“patriarchal”) influence. But make sure you ignore that bit of science, since it doesn’t conform to your narrative.

    The “Kraken” canard — Wasn’t it PZ Meyers who described the male brain as a female brain damaged by testosterone? I know I saw it in a video — he was in a panel on stage at a conference of some kind. Or, what about the photo of Ms. Elevatorgate inviting a man to stick a dollar bill down her cleavage? Ridicule the MHRA movement as much as you want; your shit still stinks.

    I divorced my physically abusive wife after sixteen years. I suffer PTSD from the abuse she perpetrated. There are NO men’s support groups for me. I am paying $1300 per month to the woman who used to beat on me mercilessly. How many women financially support their abusers? She is using her position as sole custodial parent of my daughter, along with my daughter’s autism, to prevent me from seeing her. I haven’t seen my little girl in over four years. If I want to see her, I have to jump through a series of humiliating hoops to prove that I am not a rapist or pedophile. How many women have gone through anything like that?

    Yes, my white male privilege serves me well.

  89. 89
    Leiningen's Ants

    I have simply got to make more time in my schedule for lazy web surfing. This was a well needed guffaw. And the comments! :D Comic relief is a mighty fine thing all up in this world we live in.

  90. 90
    Crommunist

    At the University of Toronto…

    You’ve lost the argument right out of the gate. Nobody at FTB is from the University of Toronto. Your paranoid conspiracy mongering about how “feminists” are trying to silence “men” is the precise topic this post seeks to lampoon.

    Gender roles exist separate from any societal (“patriarchal”) influence.

    Citation needed. That citation will also have to demonstrate that the gender roles that we currently have in our society are biologically derived. It will have to be some citation indeed, to counteract the reams of psychological and sociological evidence that specifically debunk gender roles.

    Wasn’t it PZ Meyers who described the male brain as a female brain damaged by testosterone? I know I saw it in a video — he was in a panel on stage at a conference of some kind

    Well this is the most persuasive evidence I’ve ever seen. Plus, y’know, it’s totally related to anything written in the post.

    Yes, my white male privilege serves me well.

    You do understand that privilege doesn’t mean “nothing bad can ever happen to any white man”, right?

  91. 91
    Itchy Ike

    So, because no one at FTB is from Toronto, the actions of Toronto feminists to silence dissent is irrelevant? Why does locale affect validity? The point is that it is feminists who silence dissent, that the “satire” in the column was, in fact, truth.

    I don’t need to cite anything about gender roles. Gender dimorphism proves it. Look at marmosets: they are primates whose male and female characteristics are nearly identical because the males and females have nearly identical roles and responsibilities. Men and women evolved very differently because their roles were very different for millennia, before there were societies and cultures, when we were all hunter-gatherers. Gender roles have a basis in evolution, i.e. SCIENCE.

    The PZ Myers paragraph was intended to demonstrate your own hypocrisy and to (apparently too subtly) suggest that your efforts might be better served directed inwards. Your shit stinks; maybe you can fix it.

    PRIVILEGE: A peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor; a right or immunity not enjoyed by others or by all; special enjoyment of a good, or exemption from an evil or burden; a prerogative; advantage; franchise; preferential treatment.

    Where is my privilege in the family court system? Where is my privilege in treatment for domestic abuse? I know what privilege means; apparently you don’t. And don’t give me the “women are abused more than men” trope; rates of domestic violence perpetrated by women are equal to or higher than those of men. Read page 19 of that book for the full text and citations.

    What I find most telling is that feminists by and large dismiss men’s issues. According to them, men have no reason to complain, what with their patriarchal privilege and all. The flipside is not true. MHRA’s who post online acknowledge that there are issues only women face; what they don’t do is claim that all those problems are the fault of men/society/patriarchy/rape culture or whatever. The issue is one of obligation. MHRA’s seek to remove their obligation to kowtow to women’s needs and emotional immaturity. The concept of Men Going Their Own Way is a concrete manifestation of this attitude.

    If you disagree, prove me wrong. I want to see a female feminist decry the public response to the sexual assault of a 19-year old man by four women outside a nightclub on March 30 of this year. At least he didn’t need to go to the hospital. When the story broke, various Twitter feeds displayed a disgusting lack of sympathy for the victim. One (a woman at that) even said it was the man’s fault for getting in the car. If feminism is NOT the promotion of women at the expense of men, as I believe more and more strongly every day that it is, then all feminists should be shocked and outraged at this behavior.

    It was over a week ago. Where’s your response, feminists? Or are you being silenced?

  92. 92
    Crommunist

    So, because no one at FTB is from Toronto, the actions of Toronto feminists to silence dissent is irrelevant?

    To this particular conversation? Yes. Unless you’re asking me to litigate and take responsibility for the actions of all feminists everywhere. Is that what you’re doing? The fact that some people in Toronto were assholes is proof that feminism is an elaborate conspiracy to silence dissent?

    I don’t need to cite anything about gender roles. Gender dimorphism proves it.

    No it doesn’t. It “proves” that there are differences in the physiology between males as an aggregate and females as an aggregate. It does not in any way demonstrate that the gender roles we have in society are biologically based rather than societally conditioned. Pro tip: even if you type the word ‘SCIENCE’ in all caps, that doesn’t actually make it a scientific conclusion. If it did, my job would be a looooot easier.

    Where is my privilege in the family court system? Where is my privilege in treatment for domestic abuse? I know what privilege means

    This specific thing that you just typed refutes your own statement. It’s fine – privilege is an extremely difficult thing to recognize when you have it. Incidentally, it wasn’t feminists who created the family court system, so your rage against them is misplaced.

    What I find most telling is that feminists by and large dismiss men’s issues. According to them, men have no reason to complain, what with their patriarchal privilege and all.

    Boy did you ever make this complaint on the wrong blog… it’s also ludicrously inaccurate, but particularly so here.

    The concept of Men Going Their Own Way is a concrete manifestation of this attitude.

    No, it’s the concrete manifestation of the same attitude that results in a bratty kid throwing a tantrum in the candy aisle of the grocery store when hir parent says ze can’t have a Snickers.

    When the story broke, various Twitter feeds displayed a disgusting lack of sympathy for the victim. One (a woman at that) even said it was the man’s fault for getting in the car.

    Yeah, that would be “rape culture” at work. It’s nice that you’ve noticed that we have a problem. Feminists have been decrying that particular problem for a while. I can’t speak for all feminists, but the group I was with last night (when I found out about it) were all shocked and outraged by not only the assault, but the idea that people would blame the guy (or worse, justify it by saying that he ‘got lucky’). I’m the only one of them who has a blog, and there’s not much to report about the story other than the fact that it happened. Have you seen any feminists say that this isn’t a case of rape or that this guy is somehow less deserving of sympathy? Or is the fact that every single person on the web isn’t talking about it a strong enough condemnation of feminism in your mind?

    At any rate, since you specifically asked, I will write something about this tomorrow. I was considering doing that anyway, but your specific criticism is perhaps warranted – this is exactly the kind of issue that male feminists should be addressing.

  93. 93
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Wasn’t it PZ Meyers who described the male brain as a female brain damaged by testosterone? I know I saw it in a video — he was in a panel on stage at a conference of some kind

    Why on earth should we take the words of a man seriously who can’t even remember who comminted a “crime” (let alone spell them correctly), but simply deals in vast accusations based on guilt by association?

  94. 94
    leni

    what they don’t do is claim that all those problems are the fault of men/society/patriarchy/rape culture or whatever. The issue is one of obligation. MHRA’s seek to remove their obligation to kowtow to women’s needs and emotional immaturity.

    Women participate in partiarchy/rape culture too. And some women are abusive assholes who belong in prison.

    You shouldn’t have to “kowtow” to anyone’s emotional immaturity, but it seems odd that you single out women for this.

    But you should know, there are times when recognizing the emotional needs of people around you is a good thing. Under normal circumstances it is the bedrock of a good relationship. Understanding people will often help you get along better with them, kowtowing to the emotional needs of people around you can make your life easier.

    Of course, if it is an abuser then recognizing their emotional needs probably won’t do you any good. But not all relationships are like that. You should try therapy. I think it would be more useful to you than denying yourself the possibility of a healthy, loving relationship. And denying yourself the chance to heal.

    Honestly, the way you are dealing with this sounds profoundly unhealthy and self-destructive. I hope you get help.

  95. 95
    Holms

    What I find most telling is that feminists by and large dismiss men’s issues. According to them, men have no reason to complain, what with their patriarchal privilege and all.

    I’m not sure how you happened to find this blog post, but it is quite clear to me that you are not a regular reader of any feminism blog either on or associated with FTB. Men’s issues most certainly exist – typically taking the form of dismissing hurt caused to men by telling them to ‘harden up’ and similar – it’s just that they don’t poison the lives of men to the same extent or volume as is done against women. Many writers here and elsewhere acknowledge this, but in particular, I will point you towards the writings of Greta Christina.

  96. 96
    leftwingfox

    I’d have more respect for Men Going their Own Way had they just gone already. How can we miss them when they never go away?

  97. 97
    SallyStrange

    @leftwingfox – I know! They’re like, “I’m going, do you miss me yet? How about now? How about NOW? Huh? HUH? I’m walking out this door RIGHT NOW, and you’ll regret it! Here I go! I’m leaving! I bet you miss me now! How about NOW?”

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