Maybe my wife thinks I’m Ben Shapiro?

Mary is off to spend a week with our granddaughter, and it’s been a struggle. She’s supposed to have just gotten her own priorities straight — you know, packing, loading the car, that sort of thing — but instead she’s been fussing over me, as if I’m going to be helpless.

The cat’s even worse. When she sees luggage appear by the back door, she knows something is up and has been freaking out and puking all over the place.

I’ll be fine. I got a week’s worth of lectures organized and queued up this morning, and am looking forward to making a jambalaya loaded up with shrimp (Mary doesn’t like shrimp, so usually have to leave them out), and then, of course, the wild parties at my house starting tonight.*

*There will be no wild parties, sorry to say. Teaching resumes Monday.


  1. says

    Just jambalaya? No crawfish pie?
    What about picking guitar and filling fruit jar? Being gay-o?
    You’re a long way from the bayou to be having such big fun.

  2. wzrd1 says

    Sorry, under similar conditions, I always engaged in an orgy of eating things that would’ve hospitalized my wife were she home.
    She loathed mussels, so I’d cook those, she was deathly allergic to shellfish, so those would be cooked as well. Then, air out the house and clean up the mess, lest the detritus kill her.
    Plus my greens and butternut squash.

  3. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    When I get left alone for any extended period of time, I end up going wild and crazy… and listening to music the rest of my family hates. Bob Dylan marathon, yo!!!

  4. Akira MacKenzie says

    I’ve got about 15 minutes before my mandatory OT left. Then I get the spend the weekend prepping miniatures for a game convention later this week. So, no parties.

  5. birgerjohansson says

    When I sleep in, my two feral cat ladies see it that my duty is to get up and feed them. Often.

  6. birgerjohansson says

    The Swedish term för a married man whose wife is away is “grass widower”, gräsänkling.

    There is a classic humoristic song Gräsänkling Blues, about what the husband may get up to during this brief period, something that later requires bribing the super and cleaning up while hungover.

  7. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    brucej @ 7: Oh wow, that sounds right up my alley! Thanks for the recommendation! :)

  8. Oggie: Mathom says

    Wife went to Florida for a week a couple years ago when her father was fading fast. I had great plans for a week of sybaritic worshipping of Dionysus. I failed. I did have, when she got back, three pints of lemon curd (good for a few months in the fridge) and five pints of blueberry preserves (which were fully processed). That and listening to opera, Gregorian chants, and showtunes.

    I know you do canning, so why not whip up a batch of lemon curd?

    ¾ cup fresh lemon juice

    ¾ cup white sugar

    ½ cup unsalted butter, cubed

    3 large eggs

    1 tablespoon grated lemon zest

    Combine lemon juice, sugar, butter, eggs, and lemon zest in a 2-quart saucepan.

    Cook over medium-low heat, whisking constantly, until mixture thickens and bubbles, about 5 to 6 minutes.

    Wife and I decanted this into jars. You can fully can it if you have a pressure cooker.

    Tastes great over pancakes. Or on good toasted bread.

    Anyway, even if you don’t have plans for sybaritic worshipping of Dionysus, you can still have fun.

  9. birgerjohansson says

    Has the cat mainly imprinted on your wife? It would explain the separation anxiety.

  10. R. L. Foster says

    I thought you were a vegetarian. Sigh Another role model goes down the rabbit hole of culinary temptations. Oy vey. All hope is lost. Nothing left for me but to go out and buy a thick filet mignon and dust off the Weber kettle.

  11. asclepias says

    Cats are odd creatures no matter what they look like. I was working on cleaning Cat Intake 1 at the shelter yesterday (at the moment, we don’t have many cats, thankfully), and one cat loved to be petted, but freaked out and batted/hissed at he little broom I was using to brush out litter and had the same reaction to the top of my head when she saw it.

  12. birgerjohansson says

    I have figured out that not all cats react to catnip. But for those who do, it is a good way to get them to familiarise themselves with an object.

  13. says

    Oh, poor kitty, his human is leaving and he doesn’t know if or when she’ll be back! Of course he’s stressed out and puking! It really is too bad you can’t explain that Mary will be back in X days and do a countdown for the cat.

    Have fun, PZ!