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[Lounge #418]

Wolf cubs kissing their mother

This is the lounge. You can discuss anything you want, but you will do it kindly. It’s not as if you were raised by wolves.

Status: Heavily Moderated; Previous thread

Comments

  1. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Nick
    You have my sympathy, that’s really hard. *hugs*

  2. says

    Republicans continue to look for ways to suppress the vote of people likely to vote for Democratic Party candidates. When you have to prevent your opponent’s supporters from voting in order to win, you might want to look at your own policies to find out why the fuck you are losing.

    Republicans in the Ohio Legislature are pushing a plan that could cost the state’s public universities millions of dollars if they provide students with documents to help them register to vote. Backers of the bill describe it as intended to resolve discrepancies between residency requirements for tuition and voter registration, while Democrats and other opponents argue it is a blatant attempt at voter suppression in a crucial swing state.

    “What the bill would do is penalize public universities for providing their students with the documents they need to vote,” Daniel Tokaji, a professor and election law expert at Ohio State University told TPM. “It’s a transparent effort at vote suppression — about the most blatant and shameful we’ve seen in this state, which is saying quite a lot.” …

    Talking Points Memo link.

  3. says

    Uh …. what? And … What! again. Having one’s prostitutes dress up like President Obama?

    Silvio Berlusconi’s private disco featured not only aspiring show girls performing striptease acts as sexy nuns and nurses, but also dressed as President Barack Obama and a prominent Milan prosecutor whom the billionaire media mogul has accused of persecuting him, according to the first public sworn testimony by the Moroccan woman at the center of the scandal….

  4. Ogvorbis, broken failure. says

    Wait…people sleep between 11 pm and 6am?

    I try to, but my brain either wakes me up with dreams I do not want or keeps me awake convincing me that I am a failure at being human.

  5. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    New client comes in. Seems like a decent person who needs a lawyer. He is acquainted with support staff person in the office. When I come back from court this afternoon, I am told by gossipy second staff person that he facebook messaged the one he’s acquainted with and said he could “totally date that girl.” Gossip couldn’t understand why I was not flattered. She insisted it was a compliment. Maybe if we hadn’t met in a professional context, it would have been. I hate that feeling when I feel like I’m a competent professional and I can actually do this, and the world slaps me down again. My professionalism has been diminished based on my gender four separate times in the last two days, and that’s just what I can think of.

  6. opposablethumbs says

    Wait…people sleep between 11 pm and 6am?

    No, they just turn off the heating. (They actually sleep from about 1am to 6:45)

  7. chigau (違う) says

    I often sleep between 11 pm and 6 am.
    When the screaming doesn’t wake me.

  8. yazikus says

    @Portia
    That sucks. I’d like to think I’m being evaluated on my capability to do the job rather than my date-ability. And then to have to be appreciative, because it is a “compliment”. It is no more a compliment than some random guy yelling “Smile!” is to a woman.

  9. rq says

    Portia
    Well, if it’s any comfort, I wouldn’t want to date you. ;) I prefer the Friend Zone.

    chigau
    … Screaming?

    Parrowing
    It looks like cicely is indeed pleased. Go, octopus, go!

    +++

    This time I’m for real going to bed. Good night, all!

  10. chigau (違う) says

    I have never understood “dating”.

    Portia, have you considered wearing a beard so They™ stop calling you a ‘girl’?
    Shit! Client was talking to an actual Lawyer about an actual Legal matter.
    feh

  11. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    It is no more a compliment than some random guy yelling “Smile!” is to a woman.

    The same thing crossed my mind!

    Oh, rq, you are squarely and happily in my Friend Zone :)
    I tried to find a cute cartoon drawn by a feminist blogger that mocks the concept by showing two characters who have the friend zone conversation and then go to an awesome happy park or something and hold hands and skip and the Friend Zone is the best place to be because you’re with your friends!

    (Holy Run-on Sentence, Batman! It’s definitely almost 5:00 on Friday.)

  12. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Portia, have you considered wearing a beard so They™ stop calling you a ‘girl’?

    I am starting to get desperate…

    The bailiffs at the courthouse (who man staff the metal detector) have switched from feigning disbelief that I am an attorney in the face of the attorney ID that they requested from me. They now recognize me as an attorney and make hilarious jokes that I am “impersonating” or “portraying” an attorney. Fanfuckingtastic.

    And yesterday, I was sitting in the rotunda with a client, disucssing their case. Jerkbag lawyer, who I used to work with but got out afew months ago, walks by, touches my bare knee and gushes, “I like your haircut” I snapped, “I like my personal space, Robert.*” While making a motion with my arms indicating where I expected him to stay out.

    *Names changed to protect the guilty.

  13. chigau (違う) says

    rq
    re: screaming
    In addition to Olympic-level snoring, the SO and I both yell in our sleep.
    His usually sound like a karate kiai and I’m starting to yell “No!” in Japanese.

  14. yazikus says

    Jerkbag lawyer, who I used to work with but got out afew months ago, walks by, touches my bare knee and gushes, “I like your haircut” I snapped, “I like my personal space, Robert.*

    Gah! I hate hate hate it when people touch me without permission. Especially in a professional context. It is seriously so inappropriate.
    I think your response was perfect though.

  15. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Thanks :)
    And I know this guy, he does nothing without a purpose. And most of the things he does wrt me, the purpose is to diminish or degrade me. I have no use for him, so the only reason to go out of his way to interact with me is to exert power and manipulate me. I am not the only woman lawyer to whom he talks down, either. It’s really validating to rant with other people who see him for what he is.

    Seriously, though, that asshole treated me like a child in front of my client. I don’t have enough profanities to express my disgust with him.

  16. Vilém Saptar says

    Portia – that should be annoying/disappointing. *spoon?*

    rq – that looks like a…cheetopus?

    Wait…people sleep between 11 pm and 6am?

    No, they just turn off the heating. (They actually sleep from about 1am to 6:45)

    I sleep during the day, mostly earlymorning to afternoon.

  17. Jackie, Ms. Paper if ya nasty says

    Just dropping by to wave and pass around hugs.
    *waves*
    *hugs*

  18. says

    This story brought tears of joy to my eyes (it may do the same to others):
    ” It’s almost indescribable the feeling of meeting our babies for the first time. It’s shock and awe, in the very best way possible. They absolutely took my breath away.

    Henry and Julianne were doing lots of sleeping when they first arrived, so the three of us basically stared and cooed and generally were puddles while watching them snooze after they were rolled into the room. We did some gentle poking and prodding, trying not to wake them, but so curious and excited about those little swaddled beings.

    http://newdadsontheblock.com/

    2 gay dads united with their children half a world away.
    I am happy for all involved.

  19. yazikus says

    Seriously, though, that asshole treated me like a child in front of my client. I don’t have enough profanities to express my disgust with him.

    I would guess your client saw this for what it was.
    I have a friend who is an attorney, and when she started at a new firm she got into an elevator and right after her in came one of the senior partners. His only comment to her was “So, I guess you are the token woman”.

  20. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    (Totally long comment catching up a bit and done randomly.)

    483 Dalillama, Schmott Guy

    JAL
    WLIA is quite popular among people I know, US and UK versions.

    Clearly, I know all the wrong people in real life but all the right ones online at least. =)

    A fan (or fans) recently tallied everyone’s points on the US show, and found Wayne Brady the clear winner with 50,072,587,425 points.

    I saw a picture with a caption that said that! My first thought was “What was the point tallies for everyone?”. You know that’s got to be a good list to read with things like “300 points for Larry the Camera guy for running away from Wayne!” XD I was going to google to see if the spreadsheet with all the points on it but promptly forgot and just watched more of the show.

    I want the app Cicely linked to earlier but it’s only for Apple. =( I like the idea of a seperate app for thinks to look up later. That’s a category all on it’s own for me like Things to Do and Calendar and Shopping Lists.

    ————–

    Nick, I’m so sorry about Amber. =(

    ————–

    Jadehawk, I wish I knew what was wrong with my brain too. Nightmares suck. I usually just pass out and don’t remember any dreams at all, except of course when they are nightmares. Figures.

    —————

    Portia, Holy fuck those people suck! I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with them. I like the snappy comeback about your personal space though. I wish I could come up with shit like that. I just clam up, look down and turn all red, which of course is always read as “OMG She likes it!”. Ugh, no, I just can’t do confrontations with people in real life. It just never goes well for me.

    ————————–

    508 Ogvorbis, broken failure.

    Wait…people sleep between 11 pm and 6am?

    I try to, but my brain either wakes me up with dreams I do not want or keeps me awake convincing me that I am a failure at being human.

    I know that feeling. =( I’m so sorry Og. I don’t know what to say but *hugs* if you want them.

    493 Parrowing

    Um. I like WLIIA also :D. Or at least I did. It’s been a while.

    Yeah, there’s things now that I’m picking up that I totally missed growing up, like the innuendo (the USA version is like all innuendo too), but now I’m noticing things like “Oh, that’s racist. =(“. But it’s better than a lot of shows and thing I’m really liking about the USA version is how comfortable the guys are making sex jokes with each other. It’s nice to see when these days I can just imagine all the “That’s gay!” and “Those faggots!” because of what they joke about it. I’m honestly worried the new episodes are going to be worse on those -ist accounts.

    —————————-

    I love this podcast on Yo, Is This Racist? about mixed babies.

    (First time I’ve listened to a podcast ever. I like this one and totally get the comments about Andrew Ti’s voice now. *swoon*)
    Though they only tackle specifically how people say it to mixed couples without children. I got that when I was out with The Ex and still when I’m out with The Roomie. Little One being mixed I’ve dealt with that SO much. It’s so fucking frustrating because Little One’s all “Thanks you’re pretty too!” but I can only think is “You racist douchebag…” They want to touch her hair and talk about what features came from whom. The worst was the woman at a bus stop that said, “Well, you knew what you were getting with a black boyfriend but at least your baby came out beautiful!”. OMG. I just stared at her. I mean, WTF am I supposed to even start with how fucked up that shit is? Sadly, when people find out Little One’s sperm donor was mixed and how he’s not in the picture they call to the sympathy nodding head tilt. But if they don’t see Little One and I don’t say he was mixed (I honestly don’t try to bring it up, or him up at all) they all get defensive about “But a father should be involved with his children!” Even after I tell them what the fuck is wrong with him. Find out he’s not white though? Then apparently they accept me keeping them apart no problems.

    Fucking racists.
    —————————

    Giliell, you should haz email! I copied and everything so I’d get it right. =)

  21. chigau (違う) says

    remark: “So, I guess you are the token woman”.
    response: “I am the thin edge of the wedge. teehee” *smile* *flutter eye-lashes*

  22. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I think I’m screwed. Roomie is being all passive aggressive asshole to me. Usually, I pay for the food with foodstamps, do the dishes and he cooks. Well, he went and got the food from the store, which I paid for. I get ready to dishes thinking everything is normal but he insists on doing it himself. Okay. Then he makes the food, makes an effort to feed the cat several pieces of food on my nearby shelves right in front of me and then he proceeds to just eat the food himself. Lovely.

    He struggles with dealing with me because he can’t see what’s wrong with me. He does the whole “I’m depressed too but I still work, why can’t you?” shit. He hates his job, has had a rough last week getting in trouble for other people’s fuck up and I’m just sitting here laughing my ass off at a TV show.

    I feel like such an asshole. I’m surprised he’s put up with me this long. I told him about how I could leave and he’d have the place to himself if he wanted but that just seemed to make him mad. He doesn’t want to stay in this place. He wants us to switch places with me paying for everything so he can save up to leave.

    And all of this doesn’t make me want to do anything but lay down and cry, which makes things worse because he can’t handle crying and says “Oh, so now I’m the bad guy! Typical!”.

    =(

    I wish I was somebody else. I don’t think I can be fixed.

  23. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    528 chigau (違う)

    remark: “So, I guess you are the token woman”.
    response: “I am the thin edge of the wedge. teehee” *smile* *flutter eye-lashes*

    ……………I don’t get it…..

    *googles*

    OH! I’ve never heard that phrase before. Or if I did I don’t remember and didn’t know what it meant.

  24. chigau (違う) says

    JAL #530
    It’s an idiom I’ve always been aware of, I just kinda assumed it is still current.

    There is also “top of the slippery slope”.
    and if one is feeling whimsical
    “thin edge of the slippery slope”
    or
    “top of the wedge”
    But if you youngsters don’t know these idioms, it doesn’t work.

    I really should have worn a hat for the 3 hours of gardening…

  25. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    JAL #530

    It’s an idiom I’ve always been aware of, I just kinda assumed it is still current.

    Yeah, I’m so not the best judge of what’s current. I’m watching re-runs from the ’90s because I get the references unlike current TV.
    —————

    531 Dalillama, Schmott Guy

    JAL
    *hugs* I wish I could offer more tangible support

    Thanks, hugs are always appreciated. =)

  26. thunk, Ravenston J Z 7 service to Prospekt Slavy says

    ugh, hi all.

    all my in-class finals are next week. so damn busy.

    and I just feel so horrible doubting myself and everything. Male socialization (I did see myself as such for a long time, before I really thought about gender) and societal sexism are combining to make me subconsciously try and objectify women. And sometimes I have to go “What the fuck, brain. Touching people in public is NOT OKAY. No.” Never once did anything that serious, thankfully. yay, self-control.

    And as a result, it’s becoming a lot harder to see myself as not-male. If I’m too busy dressing like a man (due to either not caring enough, or not having the opportunity or uneasy about new things/fashion or something…) and having male behavior patterns, it’s easy to conclude that one’s self-identification is misguided. or in-name-only. Especially when everyone around you keeps ignoring your stated gender preferences, provided you feel confident enough to assert them in the first place. Ugh, I hate myself and society.

    And in other news, tomorrow’s somehow my birthday.

  27. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    I like the site Written? Kitten! that…someone…linked too and was thinking of using it as a tool to get back into writing something. But I don’t like how you have to use the site and copy/pasting only gets you one kitten. =(

    They should make an app so you can have a kitten pop up in whatever word program you use to write. And time for more googling!

  28. yazikus says

    @Jal

    OH! I’ve never heard that phrase before. Or if I did I don’t remember and didn’t know what it meant.

    I hadn’t either, and I’m so pleased to have learned something interesting today.
    As far as passive aggression related to groceries and the kitchen, my partner and I deal with this. He used to wake up before me and make coffee and then go back to bed. Apparently he has not been enjoying it lately, and was acting like kind of a jerk (doing unnecessary yard work, putting away laundry I had folded but not gotten to yet, feeding the pets early, etc.). Once coffee was established as the cause of his crabbiness, I was able to take back over coffee making and it is much more pleasant. I won’t tell you how long it took to get to the root of it though, because, frankly it is embarrassing. We are both learning to communicate better, but it can definitely be a struggle.

  29. chigau (違う) says

    Hai! thunk
    *hugs* for gender issues. I don’t think I can offer advice.
    on another topic
    I was going to add you to my spread-sheet of Pharyngula birthdays but you’re already there.
    (yes. I have a spreadsheet of Pharyngula birthdays. is that a problem?)
    Have a good one!!!!
    Wow, you sure are getting old.

  30. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Happy early birthday, thunk, and sorry for the gender issues. : /

    JAL:
    Fucking racists, indeed. :(

  31. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Friday night and the Redhead must have fish (she’s an atheist, but uses Friday night as an excuse for having fish. She didn’t like it when I was given a choice, I never said fish, but then, she didn’t understand the concept of “put it on plate and serve it” despite repeated fights on the topic.) So to mimic a dish she got from a Gurnee Mills Cajun place run by Koreans and staffed by Hispanics (gotta love northern Lake County): Talapia with Cajun powder, red beans and rice, brocolli and carrots, and platinos. Desert (if not stuffed), left over tres leches cake from her birthday…

  32. chigau (違う) says

    So.
    I’m cleaning out my freezers.
    There were green beans and carrots from 2008.
    I think I missed a couple of years somewhere…

  33. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Sounds yummy, Nerd. :)

    I’m having bean tacos with extra sharp cheddar and avocados. And apple-ginger hard cider. Great reward at the end of a long week.

  34. bluentx says

    Well, the electric bill I paid a couple of days ago was the last one ‘less than $100/month’ for a while. Had to turn the A/C’s on today– 97 (F) with heat index of 109!
    Now, to get back outside (cool down break over) and do a little more yard work before dark…

  35. chigau (違う) says

    I am happy that I don’t have pollen allergies, ’cause it’s bad out here.

  36. Ogvorbis, broken failure. says

    I am happy that I don’t have pollen allergies, ’cause it’s bad out here.

    I’m doing pretty good this year. The cold spell from March through late April has really reduced the red maple pollen. My car is a dusty yellowish-green right now, but the ol’ sinuses are in pretty good shape (thank you corticosteroid).

  37. Owen says

    Official Family Legend has it that my eldest child was born because of WLIIA. He was due anyway, but we were at a friend’s house and the episode with Richard Simmons came on. We laughed so hard we were literally falling off the couch, and the next morning we discovered that water had broken. Correlation was immediately declared to be causation, and thus history was written.

    Also, those of you who need reassurance, sympathy, or whatever – you all rock, if you’ll accept that from a more or less total stranger…

  38. cicely says

    OMG, rq. It is quite cute. I’m sure cicely will be pleased.

    Indeed! Hence my cheering the octopus on!
    :)

    My professionalism has been diminished based on my gender four separate times in the last two days, and that’s just what I can think of.

    *hugs* for Portia. And *dark chocolate peanut M&Ms*.
     
    Jerkbag lawyer—what an asshole.
    *casts Flame Strike*

    2 gay dads united with their children half a world away.
    I am happy for all involved.

    +1
    :)

    *hugs* for JAL. You’re also welcome to help yourself to the *M&Ms*.
    and
    thin edge of the wedge
    …which has extra resonance because that’s how one cdesign proponentsist described the promotion of Intelligent Design; as the “thin edge of the wedge” with which to shoehorn full-blown creationism into the curriculum.
    (linky for the benefit of the Studio Audience)
    -

  39. cicely says

    *hugs* and *M&MS* for thunk. And moral support. And *morel support*.
    *whispers*
    ‘shrooooooooms!
     
    If you Do Not Want, just leave them on that table over there *pointing* and turn your back for a second.
     
    Also, well-wishes for next week’s finals.
    And happy birthday!
    *confetti & fireworks*

    This is good news, and … this news is even better.

    Huzzah!
    -

  40. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Thanks cicely :)

    I’ve been eating dark chocolate with espresso right in it. Delicious.

    JAL, (belated response, because that’s my thing lately)
    I am only able to respond so quickly to this jerkbag because I have steeled myself to expect the worst from him and have abandoned any shred of concern for his opinion of me (Call me a bitch, see if I care, asshole). From other people, it’s harder to gauge my response. I can sympathize with the frozen reaction to that sort of rudeness.

  41. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    ‘shrooooooooms!

    The local fine dining establishment had Morel Steak Diane on special last weekend…*droool*

  42. broboxley OT says

    Tony, totally busy and sick at the same time. Got a sinus infection that deteriorated into bronchitis and no time to see a doc. Self medicating at the moment. Finally work is slowing down. Had a major win today. Was told that something that had security holes couldn’t be upgraded. Finished the upgrade and testing today.
    Hugs to those that needs em, and Caine, thanks for a great idea about pillow fillings, gonna try that.
    uses for milk
    1/2 half fill 8oz glass with ice.
    use 2 shots stoly 1 shot Kahlua or creme de cacao
    the rest of the glass is 1/2 milk 1/2 pepsi

  43. John Morales says

    broboxley:

    Got a sinus infection that deteriorated into bronchitis and no time to see a doc. Self medicating at the moment.

    Hm.

    (Interesting attitude)

  44. yazikus says

    So today I was thinking. Thinking. It’s something I’ve always thought I had done, but I haven’t. I’m new to deconverting I suppose. I was raised fundy, booted at 16, felt pretty agnostic, met an awesome dude at 19 and reconverted to a faith to get married. Years of mental gymnastics ensue. Cue a personal tragedy last year. Thoughts about why it could happen, why me, I prayed! And hair, does it really need covered? Why? What is the deal with skirts anyways? And surely, women should totally be priests. And I kept thinking. But the mental gymnastics I’d been preforming while participating in the online feminist/secularist movement for all those years started to shred. And fell away. And it is like I’m looking at the world with entirely new eyes, going, Why!
    I walked to pick up my little dude today, and passed these great stone structures, monuments to a deity, Vacation Bible School! they declare. So many monuments! So many churches! And so many people, spending so much time and money, when they could be helping real people, in the real world. I know my newness adds to this feeling of WFT! but how do we counter it? Why didn’t I think sooner? Sorry to be rambling in the lounge. I’m sure many of you have great advice on how to handle having seen the truth.
    I was at a church service recently, and there is a woman, a priests wife, a sweet woman, mother of 3 awesome kids, so humble, hardworking, pious, kind, loving. She has terminal cancer. And they offered prayer for her. And I got so angry. She of all people should have deserved magic curing. And she is going to die, probably soon. And all we are doing is praying? It is like a slap in the face. I’m done with prayer. It doesn’t do shit but make the people who pray and still suffer feel bad.

  45. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    yazikus:
    It really is shocking to start seeing reality for what it is, isn’t it?
    The Lounge is for rambling, almost by definition. :)

  46. yazikus says

    Thank you Portia, I appreciate the validation. In my real life, I can’t even make a peep. And it is so shocking, so very very shocking! Everything I took for normal growing up, totally not normal! And I keep asking myself, why did it take this long?

  47. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Everything I took for normal growing up, totally not normal!

    I can absolutely relate. It’s like suddenly feeling like you’re on a foreign planet.

    And I keep asking myself, why did it take this long?

    I’ve asked the same thing, but more in relation to my political beliefs. WRT to religion, I know for me it was a lot of fear. Fear of even admitting my doubts to myself. Because doubt is sin. And sin is damning. It’s so scary to question everything. Doing so is brave, and good for you.

  48. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    In my real life, I can’t even make a peep.

    That amplifies the fear, of course. I’m sorry you have to keep it all in.

  49. cicely says

    yazikus:

    And I keep asking myself, why did it take this long?

    Cultural programming, from the time you debuted on this world. How do the sayings go…”Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it”; “”Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man”. And as you grow up, the programming is constantly reinforced, by the authority figures you trust, the people you love, and the society around you.
     
    That is why.
    It’s hard to leave the familiar tracks you’ve been set onto.
    -

  50. cicely says

    Plus, life can be scary, and one of religion’s many functions is as a fluffy security blanket.
    -

  51. yazikus says

    WRT to religion, I know for me it was a lot of fear. Fear of even admitting my doubts to myself. Because doubt is sin. And sin is damning. It’s so scary to question everything.

    Can I get a Hell Yeah!
    Because it is so fucking scary! Recently at work I mentioned I disliked the othering language of the Obama administration’s whole “Mothers, wives, daughters” bit, and my male boss was like “You are some kind of women’s rights activist aren’t you” with a dirty look. I think he may have actually said “ladies rights”. Cuz apparently that shit is scary to him.

  52. yazikus says

    Cultural programming, from the time you debuted on this world.

    Fun fact: My parents blame all of my “wrong doing” on Too Much Freedom! When I barely had any at all.

  53. yazikus says

    That is why.
    It’s hard to leave the familiar tracks you’ve been set onto.

    I’ve been trying to deal with this, but it is super hard. Being programmed super young, how do you break out of that? My family has felt the cost. My oldest sister, who had the worst of the fundy brainwashing doesn’t talk to my parents, it was through her library of sneaky books that I learned about feminism. Mom burned them all later. Older brother is a libertarian MRA. Good looking sister is a republican by proxy. Little brother won’t vote.I’m the anomaly, if you will.

  54. John Morales says

    yazikus, your angst is understandable, but please don’t stop being true to yourself.

    (I’ve noticed you and I’m mildly impressed)

  55. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Since you asked…

    Could you give us more detail Azkyroth? Or perhaps a link?

    (So, I don’t remember either of your occupations, so I apologize if this is below your level):

    It’s a consequence of the first law of thermodynamics and the way heat conduction works. In any case where two bodies which are not perfectly insulated from each other and are at different temperatures, energy will flow from the higher-temperature body to the lower-temperature body in the form of heat. There are two basic ways this works: by conduction, which at the microscopic level works through the collision of atoms and molecules with each other, transferring energy from the more to the less energetic ones (kind of like the white ball sending all the others flying at the start of a poker game) (higher average particle kinetic energy at the microscopic level = higher temperature at the macroscopic level), and by radiation, where any body which is above absolute zero gives off energy in the form of photons – this is why infrared cameras let you see things in the dark. (Convection is analytically treated as a separate, third case, but is really a special case of conduction, where the effect of having the fluid which is adjacent to a relatively still body at a different temperature replenished by fluid motion is taken into account – heat transfer rates can be much higher than would be expected due to pure conduction because the temperature gradient is much steeper).

    Conduction rates can be approximated by a differential equation of the form dT/dt = -a^2 (d^2T/dx^2 + d^2T/dy^2 + d^T/dz^2), which is about how it looks to deal with; solutions tend to take the form of Fourier series for non-steady-state conditions. Steady-state conduction along a plane wall of a single material can be approximated by the much less intimidating q = k(dT)/x, where q is the heat transfer rate per unit area (W/m^2 for our purposes), k is a material-specific coefficient with the slightly confusing units of power per distance per unit temperature (W/m*K for the SI system), dT is the temperature difference between the two sides of the wall, and x is the thickness of the wall in the same units of distance. Because conduction happenes between adjacent atoms and molecules, you get a temperature gradient in the material, where one side is hotter than the other. For a steady state condition and constant material properties, there’s essentially a linear slope of temperature from one side of the wall to the other.

    Radiative heat transfer rates are described by q = s*e*T^4, where s is usually a lowercase “sigma” which I have no idea whether it’ll render properly, and is the Stefan-Boltzmann constant of 5.68*10^8 (W/m^2)*K^4, and e is usually written as a lowercase “epsilon” and is the emissivity coefficient of the object. This fourth power dependence means that for an object at 300K, the heat transfer rate out is about 460 W/m^2. Of course, everything else in the vicinity is also radiating at a rate proportional to its temperature, times its emissivity coefficient, and it gets complicated, but the gist of it is that if the house is much warmer OR more emissive than its surroundings, it will slowly lose heat to them by radiation, independently of conduction. Air has a very low emissivity, so in particular radiation emitted in the direction of the sky is pretty efficiently lost; for surroundings, the heat transfer will be equal to q=s*(ea(Ta)^4)-(eb(Tb)^4) where a and b are the system (a house, in our case) and its surroundings respectively. Of course, during the day, there will be heat transfer in by radiation from the sun, which doesn’t really affect our analysis; if this were adequate to keep the house warm we wouldn’t care about the thermostat.

    In a real-life situation, such as a house, there will also be significant convection. We’ll ignore it for now.

    As mentioned above, temperature is proportional to the average kinetic energy of the constituent atoms and molecules of a body; this is sometimes archaically referred to as “sensible energy” or “sensible heat,” as opposed to the potential energies associated with potential phase changes (IE, melting ice takes a lot more energy than cooling water), chemical reactions, and so forth. (If chemical reactions in the substance of your house are contributing significantly to changes in its energy, you have more important problems.) Each substance has a characteristic amount of energy that needs to be put into it to raise the temperature of a given mass of the substance by a certain amount (it actually has two, depending on whether this occurs at constant pressure or constant volume – the constant pressure value is higher because some of that energy goes into expanding the volume of the substance). This is known as its “specific heat” and we’ll use the constant pressure case, cp, for our case. The sensible internal energy of a body, U, changes by an amount equal to the integral of Cp with respect to dT, from the initial to the final temperature. cp varies somewhat with temperature, but not very rapidly at human-compatible temperatures (for example, the specific heat of water at 0 C is 4.210kJ/kg*K, meaning it takes 4210 Joules to raise the temperature of one kilogram by one Kelvin, which is the same size as a degree Celsius, and at 25 C is 4.181kJ/kg*K; figures for water are here), so it’s a reasonably good approximation to pretend it’s constant. If it’s constant, then the change in U from one temperature to another is equal to cp*D*(T2-T1), where D is the density of the material, and likewise, to change the temperature from T1 to T2, energy equal to cp*D*(T2-T1) must be transferred.

    So, the net result of this is that an energy balance can be written for any system which interacts with its surroundings: Estore = Ein – Eout + Egen, where Estore is the change in the system’s sensible internal energy (associated with temperature change), Ein and Eout are exactly what they sound like, and Egen is energy which is transformed from another form into sensible energy within the boundaries of the system (by, for instance, burning gas, or dissipating electrical power in a resistance wire in a heater). Ein can be ignored for our purposes since we’re discussing heating specifically; we can assume it’s small. This means that for the internal energy (and thus the temperature of the house) to stay constant, Egen has to equal Eout-Ein, and Eout A) is the much larger term and B) is proportional to the temperature difference between the house and its surroundings (or, for radiative heat loss in the direction of the sky, particularly during the night, its absolute temperature).

    Checkpoint: heat loss is proportional to the temperature difference between the house and the outside…linearly proportional as regards conduction and convection, and proportional to the difference of the fourth powers of the temperatures as regards radiation. By contrast, the energy required to increase the temperature of a system by a given amount depends very weakly on its temperature. So, the higher a systems’ temperature is above its surroundings, the more energy has to be put in over a given time period to keep it at that temperature. Whereas, letting it cool off during the day, but then quickly warming it up from a lower temperature requires a much higher energy input rate than simply maintaining it at temperature (because cp*D*(T2-T1) has to be transferred in that time period), but for a shorter time, so the energy requirement is less, because we aren’t putting in energy to counteract all the heat loss that would be happening throughout the day at the higher temperature.

    Let’s put some numbers to this. They don’t matter very much because changing them will correspondingly change the heat loss rate, but it makes it easier to visualize.

    Assume we have a 1500 ft^2 home (140m^2 footprint) and an average height, including an attic or crawlspace or something, of 5m; that gives us a volume of 700m^3. Let’s assume our house is square in footprint, making it a prism shape; it isn’t, of course, but that makes the heat loss rates even worse because there’s much more surface area to lose heat through. So this is a conservative estimate. No, not that kind. This gives us a surface area of 59.16m^2 for each wall, and 140m^2 each for the roof and ground. We’ll assume the roof and walls are each 0.1m thick and have a thermal conductivity of 0.1w/m*K (this is pretty decent insulation, especially given that we’re averaging over areas that include windows) on average, including the floor since dealing with the ground separately makes the math more difficult because one of the terms changes direction at a point to be determined, so the total surface area is 517m^2. Let’s assume it’s 5 C outside, and our comfort temperature is 21 C. Let’s also assume the house can be modeled as a container of Stuff which is about as dense as the amount of air the house contains, but has a specific heat of about 2kJ/kg*K (air’s is about 1kJ/kg*K, a lot of other things are lower, but there’s more than 700kg of them there – air’s density is about 1kg/m^3, too) – so, 700kg, with a cp of 2.0kJ/kg*K. This means it’ll take about 1400kJ in to heat, or out to cool, the house by 1 degree Celsius (or 1 Kelvin, since they’re the same size), so our thermal “mass” is 1,400,000J/K – we’ll call it M. Let’s also assume that the radiative heating from the sun and the radiative loss to the surroundings take care of each other. Let’s say we leave the house for 8 hours.

    So, we’re only looking at conduction. The heat loss rate through the outside surfaces for a constant temperature of 21 C is equal to (517m^2)(0.1W/m*K)(21-5)/(0.1m) = 8272W, or 8.27kW. Running at this rate for 8 hours means using 66.176kwh.

    If we simply let the house cool down, it loses energy according to the following equation: M*dB/dt = -kA(B)/x where B is the temperature difference with the outside (this makes the math easier, M is our thermal mass from before, and dB/dt is the rate of change in the temperature (multiplied by M, it’s the heat transfer rate). From solving this (the solution is an exponential form), we can determine that B will reach 1 K after 7513 seconds, and after eight hours will be essentially zero. So, we’ll have to heat the house up by 16 K when we get home. At 1400kJ/K, that gives us 22400kJ, or 6.22kwh. Let’s say we spend an hour to do it, and so we’re losing energy out of the walls of the house while heating it back up…an average rate of heat loss of half the rate at 21 C is probably a conservative assumption. That means we need to use 10.4kwh to heat the house back up, compared to 66.2 kwh for just leaving it.

    There are a lot of assumptions in this (like the house losing energy all as one bulk unit, rather than gradients developing), all of which make the situation worse for the “leave it on” hypothesis.

    I can think of quite a few reasons your neighors’ costs might have gone up (peak rates, misused thermostats, people being less careful about letting heat leak out, opportunistic utility price gouging assuming people would follow the same reasoning) but it’s not because it uses less energy to maintain temperature against heat loss.

  56. yazikus says

    (I’ve noticed you and I’m mildly impressed)
    I can’t but help think of a failed sponge cake in this response. I’m totally the failed sponge cake, poof!

  57. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Wow, it sounds like you really do have the odds stacked against you.
    I hope sometime you can find a kindred spirit or two in meatspace. I know it’s really helpful for me to have that person or two to vent to in person when credulity is getting me down.

  58. says

    HI EVERYBODY!! *WAVES*

    I’ve gotten a few emails and Tweets and stuff, and thanks to those folks. They’ve convinced me that while it is easier/safer for me not to be here all the time, I shouldn’t cut off all ties with everyone here. I’ve skimmed over the last couple of Lounges… I’m glad to see that a lot of you are doing well, I wish nothing but the best for you who aren’t.

    As for me? I’m OK. Not great or awesome, not terrible or struggling. My wife and I are going through some stuff, but I’m pretty sure there’s a light at the end. Part of that light is that I have insurance again, for the first time since before most of you knew me. Maybe I can get on some antidepressants, and maybe get myself back in a state where I can come back here more frequently, without being an asshole to anyone who doesn’t deserve it? Only time will tell, and in the meanwhile I still have a whole lot of love and respect for this place, and the people who frequent this place. Every time I fire up the amp and play the “Official SpokesGuitar” I’m thinking fondly of you folks.

  59. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    I should be asleep. Just got back from a medical call. I want to get up early and run. I am trying to decide if I can get myself the 2.5 hours to Chicago for services for a college friend who passed away this week. I have a lot of work I should do this weekend and I feel kind of overwhelmed. Mom and Stepdad and Nieces are coming on Sunday. I wouldn’t have any prep to do if it were just mom but I want to have groceries and a cleanish house to welcome the others. I feel like I’m talking myself out of this…

    /rambling.

  60. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Aw, hi, Joe! ehugs for you!
    Glad to hear about that light, I hope things improve for you soon, very soon.

  61. bluentx says

    Portia , my dear!
    You do know that few (I would say NO) regular (even semi-regulars such as myself) Pharayngulites consider you less than AWESOME (not a word I use lightly) !

  62. bluentx says

    Golly, I SHOULD be up at dawn (6:33 according to online sources). Then I could have a cup of caffeine (or two) before I have to start up the John Deere (yes, I actually have a JD lawn mower).
    I’m not used to being up that early!
    Forcing myself to sleep is a bitch problematic.

  63. says

    JAL:
    Please do not lose sight of the fact that although you are dealing with a lot of crap, you are a good person
    ****
    thunk:
    I hope one day societys attitudes will change to the point that you will be free to be who YOU want to be, with no questions or judgments.
    Oh and happy almost birthday!
    ****
    Nerd:
    I don’t understand what you mean by the Redhead using Friday as an excuse to eat fish.

  64. says

    Bluentx:
    Your strike-through of ‘bitch’ reminds me that I am so close to no longer using the word. Similar to calling women ‘girls’, ‘bitch’ is a word I no longer say, but I do still think of the word. ‘Retard’ as an insult was an easy word to stop using.
    I’m curious now, when it comes to ‘cunt’ (this autocorrects to ‘vinyl’ on my phone) or ‘twat’, are either of these words ever used in place of vagina , rather than as gendered slurs?

  65. says

    Hi IJoe *hugs*

    Yazikus
    I’m afraid I can’t really help with an explanation of why people continue to behave that way; since I was raised without religion it’s always mystified me. Hopefully your meatspace situation/pool of associates improves soon.

    thunk
    Happy Birthday. *hugs* and best wishes for the future.

    Tony

    I don’t understand what you mean by the Redhead using Friday as an excuse to eat fish.

    Prior to Vatican II, Catholics were prohibited meat on Fridays, and would therefore eat fish instead.

  66. says

    Dalillama:
    Oh. Ok. I see.
    ****
    broboxley:
    Ugh. Hope you have a speedy recovery.
    __
    Your drink sounds similar to a Colorado Bulldog (white russian with coke)
    ****
    Speaking of drinks…
    Portia:
    Since you like espresso and chocolate…have you ever tried a Chocolate Espresso Martini?
    1.5 oz Espresso odka
    .5 oz Kahlua
    .5 oz Creme de Cacao light (or dark)
    .5 oz half n half
    Shake vigorously and strain into a chilled, chocolate rimmed martini glass.

    For coffee and/or espresso lovers, Patron Cafe is a tequila infused with coffee that doesn’t taste like you imagine.
    Also, Van Gogh Espresso Vodka is lovely on the rocks from what I hear (love me some coffee aroma, but not the taste)

  67. bluentx says

    I don’t understand what you mean by the Redhead using Friday as an excuse to eat fish.

    Prior to Vatican II, Catholics were prohibited meat on Fridays, and would therefore eat fish instead.

    Jeez, Tony are you trying to make me feel old not knowing that? [Love ya, T! : )]

  68. bluentx says

    re; #501:

    Wait…people sleep between 11 pm and 6am?

    Some people are weird, Tony

    re: Petron

    Who can afford that? Good stuff though when friends are affluent enough to share!

  69. opposablethumbs says

    Happy almost-birthday, thunk, and good luck with your exams. And more moral/morel support!
    .
    Portia, seconding (thirding etc.) the vote of Seriously Awesome. Sorry about the reason for the service, whether you make there or not. And yay for the family visit – hey, they understand how busy you are, don’t they?
    Oh, and screw the arsehole-male-lawyer-colleagues. People like that are both creepy and despicable.
    .
    Hugs to JAL. Fuck, I’m so sorry things are so damn hard :(((((
    .
    Hugs and good luck to Yazikus. Like Dalillama, I was raised religion-free so I have only a pretty abstract idea of what this might be like – but I take my hat off to you and all those who see through the non-sense, despite a whole early lifetime of indoctrination! I wish we all had someone/some people in rl we could just be ourselves with, without fear of being ostracised or slapped down … :( but I’m glad to hang out in the Lounge when I can.

  70. opposablethumbs says

    … whether you make it there or not.

    Preview preview preview, dammit.

  71. mildlymagnificent says

    Totally in lurve. Domestic lurve. Trying to add up this month’s income to find the dollars for …..
    dishes.

    We were out for lunch with the daughters, mr’s birthday, and spotted a house/ kitchen shop none of us had ever been inside. One attraction was the adorable team of little tots in chefs caps and aprons – a cooking class at the back of the shop – for three year olds. Aaaaanyway, went in to buy a little keep-warmy thing for the coffee plunger and got into conversation with the owner who described the virtues of several products.

    Slack-jawed with amazement when he picked up a fairly thin, lightweight plate from a stack of 20+, held it vertically and used the edge to knock. against. the. edges. of the stack of plates! Normally this kind of sin would get you kicked out of any other china shop. Not a crack, a chip, a crazing, let alone a break. Turns out it’s bone china par excellence – 40% bone. I neeeed some of this. Mr has always been a bit clumsy. Now with his right hand so weak I wasn’t looking forward to constantly having to find replacements for things getting chipped as he slips/ drops/ knocks things when stacking or unloading cupboards or dishwashing. This bloke sells them for half the price of the major department stores, which lower price turns out to be much the same as, say, Maxwell & Williams dinnersets – I presume a few people would know them. They seem to be in every shop everywhere here.

    I may need to take off the shoes and socks for a bit of super elaborate arithmetic.

  72. mildlymagnificent says

    Oh whoops. Just realised. Many non-Australians might see these dinnersets as fairly expensive. Remember that for the last few years the high value of our dollars has bought us lots of expensive stuff quite/ very/ extremely cheaply. That is now in the process of unhappening. That’s a good reason to buy them now. Before the importers have to pay more for them.

    Isn’t it. (Say yes.)

  73. Parrowing says

    Ha, rq & cicely, there was a refresh error on my part :D

    *

    Happy early birthday to thunk!

    *

    Oh, Tony, that drink sounds delicious! I may have to try it soon…

    *

    yazikus, I know how you feel. I’m sorry you don’t have people you can talk to in meatspace.

    Fun fact: My parents blame all of my “wrong doing” on Too Much Freedom! When I barely had any at all.

    Yes! It’s so hard to explain to people that I wasn’t allowed to watch kids shows about witches. That was normal to me (not that I didn’t try to break the rules).

    My husband and his father wanted to attend church with my parents one day because they had only ever been non-believers. They wanted to see what it was like, so I tagged along. To them, it was peculiar and amusing, as if people were putting on a show. For me, it was very triggering, as if they might get me if they tried hard enough. I mean, they can’t. I can’t un-know what I know now. But I also remember how good they are at manipulation. I remember how bad they made me feel about myself while telling me that the only way to feel better was to do what they do. (sorry for my rambling)

  74. says

    Hippo, birdy & two ewes to Thunk.

    Today is the Spawnphontes’s birthday. She is lying on a beach somewhere in Thailand, so I still have time to bake her a cake before she gets back tomorrow. Has anyone tried baking a cake in their rice steamer? I have a fuzzy-logic one with a big red button that sez: CAKE! I presume I just bung the mix in and hit it?

  75. opposablethumbs says

    Never had a rice steamer, but using one to make cake sounds … interesting. Happy birthday to Spawnphontes too!
    .
    Parrowing, that must have been weird and disturbing, to be triggered and reminded of something so terrifying while all the time the people who you might need to support you are right there beside you finding it all amusing and blithely unaware of what you’re experiencing. Ugh, nightmarish. I’m glad you’re well away from that, but I’m sorry they didn’t understand. Did you ever discuss it afterwards at all?

  76. Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says

    Vilém Saptar, JAL – thanks. I know that compared to what many here (including JAL) are dealing with, grief over the death of a pet is nothing to complain about. I don’t mean it doesn’t hurt, but it’s a predictable consequence of the decision to keep Amber (we were “fostering” her, and her then-owner decided she couldn’t take her back), which I don’t regret; and I wouldn’t want not to feel it. But I could do without the feeling that having Amber killed (I’ll avoid all euphemisms for once) was a betrayal. Rationally, I’m pretty sure it was right, but I keep finding myself thinking: “What if we’d waited another few days, maybe she’d have started eating and drinking”, and last night, as I was trying to get to sleep, kept getting vivid hypnagogic images of her, and finding myself back at the moment the vet said “Is it OK for me to go ahead?”, and I said “Yes.”

    Time to play the first movement of Elgar’s Concerto for Cello again (my “grief music”, which I discovered when my mother died).

  77. Parrowing says

    Thanks, opposablethumbs. I’ve discussed it with my husband, but not my FIL. To be fair, I think my husband got what was going on with me and was as supportive as he could be while still not really knowing what to make of the whole situation.

    My FIL is one of the kindest people I’ve met and I think he was just trying to get through the morning without offending my parents or the other churchgoers. We were accosted after the service with questions, subtle manipulations, and offers to give us books on apologetics, and my FIL doesn’t speak English very well nor does he hear very well, so his brain was a little occupied trying to figure out what to say to people. He’s used to Sweden’s version of religion, which pretty much starts and ends with: “Oh, my kid was just born! I wonder who to contact about a baptism?” I don’t think he was able to process that not only did the people at my parents’ church really believe the stuff they were saying, they wanted him to believe it too.

  78. says

    @ opposablethumbs

    Thanks opposable.

    I also didn’t think about what one could do with a rice-cooker until I started googling pretty recently. The manual only kinda mentions this stuff in passing.

    Check this out: Linky. (Be seated, the awesome can blow one over! Certainly be seated – with a large scotch – before following the linkieszeslinkies.)

  79. carlie says

    Nick – I always took the attitude that the death of a pet wasn’t high on the list of things one should get so upset about compared to other problems, but then after my cat died an entirely predicted death found myself sobbing my way through Wal-Mart at 6 in the morning asking the staff to direct me to the fabric/wicker baskets just so I’d have something nice to for her to lie in on the way to the vet for cremation.

    I do wish we’d taken her in to be euthanized a day earlier – we kept hesitating and hesitating until it was too late, then ended up on an all-night watch. She managed to slip away in the half-hour between when my spouse drifted to sleep and when I was scheduled to get up for my turn. I would much rather have had it the way you did.

  80. mildlymagnificent says

    just so I’d have something nice to for her to lie in on the way to the vet for cremation.

    When our last cat died at the vet’s, they told my husband to leave her there and he could pick her up later. So that’s what we did, after we’d been to the garden centre to get a suitable rose bush to bury her under. Quite small, very pretty, very scratchy thorns – all appropriate. When we picked her up she was in a little natural linen coloured shroud with gold ribbon tying the corners. All very suitable.

  81. says

    As a general rule I hate dogs. With a passion. Except for that prize-winning, proud, fluffy, headstrong chihuahua named Cate I happened to inherit when I got married years ago. I could just about dig Cate somehow.

    And then one cold winter evening, Cate keeled over in the back yard, started drooling and fitting and was in a very bad way. My then wife the dog breeder has seen it all before, chihuahuas are prone to strokes and all that, and was prepared to write Cate off as a loss, which undoubtedly would have been the rational thing to do.

    But I couldn’t deal with it. So into the shoe carton she went in left lateral position, and off to the emergency vet we went. Intubated, CPR, the works. 2000 dollars later, Cate was still a very dead chihuahua.

    She’s buried in the ground of a house I have since sold.

    The end.

  82. Ogvorbis, broken failure. says

    Good morning.

    Happy Thursday.

    Armed Forces Day for all USAnians.

    One of the houses in our neighborhood burned last night. We could watch the proceedings from our back porch. So I spent the night smelling smoke and burned plastic (wildfires smell so nice, house fires stink). And had a couple of real nasty 9/11 dreams. But remember, I do not have PTSD, I exhibit some PTSD-like symptoms.

  83. carlie says

    mildlymagnificent – if you can afford it, you certainly deserve some nice plates! (although I’m such a pragmatist I’d have switched to melamine as soon as droppage became a possibility). My philosophy on these things is that, presuming that they are in that spot where they are affordable but you just don’t want to quite spend that much, it all hinges on how much it makes you happy and how much enjoyment you will get out of it, and err on the side of making yourself happy. (especially something like plates, that you will see and make use of every day).

  84. carlie says

    mildlymagnificent – that sounds lovely. We thought about doing a home burial, but there are too many critters in the area for us to have been comfortable with the, um, possibilities. Tying in with rorschach’s sentimentality v. money issue, we actually paid $100 extra to get her ashes back, planning to sprinkle them in the back yard. They are still, a year and a half later, sitting in the box on a table in the front room.

  85. Pteryxx says

    *dumps extra hugs plus three for Ogvorbis*

    Just passing by because George Takei is being awesome again. *swoons* Via BB, image gallery responding to traditional-marriage bigots:

    imgur link

    Oh myyyy!

  86. birgerjohansson says

    I am very sorry about Amber.

    Yesterday was the Norwegian national day. And midsummer weather arrived with a bang. My body has not had time to get adjusted to heat.

  87. Owlmirror says

    I tried to find a cute cartoon drawn by a feminist blogger that mocks the concept by showing two characters who have the friend zone conversation and then go to an awesome happy park or something and hold hands and skip and the Friend Zone is the best place to be because you’re with your friends!

    What, nobody linked to Sinfest?

    Friend Zone 1

    Friend Zone 2

    Friend Zone 3

    Friend Zone 4

  88. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    bluentx

    Portia , my dear!
    You do know that few (I would say NO) regular (even semi-regulars such as myself) Pharayngulites consider you less than AWESOME (not a word I use lightly) !

    Aw, shucks. Thanks.
    opposablethumbs

    Sorry about the reason for the service, whether you make there or not. And yay for the family visit – hey, they understand how busy you are, don’t they?

    Thanks a lot. I appreciate the commiseration. I realized that because I don’t know the deceased person’s family, my presence wouldn’t add much for them beyond the “wow, a lot of people showed up, that’s touching.” The people I would actually grieve with I can arrange another visit with. And yeah, my family is really understanding. My mom is especially great about it, and is happy to bring food with her, or go get it when she gets here, and tidy up to her liking if I haven’t cleaned in advance. (Her cleaning is usually for my benefit because she knows I feel better when things are clean but I don’t always have the wherewithal for it. So it’s not even like “Oh, my, your house is dirty…” passive aggressive cleaning. Yeah. I like her.)

    I wish we all had someone/some people in rl we could just be ourselves with, without fear of being ostracised or slapped down … :( but I’m glad to hang out in the Lounge when I can.

    That’s what this place is great for. :)
    mildlymagnificent
    I think carlie’s advice about the expenditure is perfect. Sounds like you need those plates :)

    Parrowing
    I am unduly uncomfortable in churches, too. Your reason is stronger than mine, and I’m sorry you had to go through that : ( I usually just feel intensely uncomfortable, and am afraid someone is going to find me out. Once, I went with S to his cousin’s baby’s baptism, and made an excuse that S’s little one (then five, I think) needed to be taken outside because he was getting impatient. It was so much lovelier outside with him, watching him “sneak on birds” and try to get close before they flew away. It’s actually one of my fondest memories with him, born out of my church-angst ^_^

    Happy Birthday Spawnphontes :)

    What, nobody linked to Sinfest?

    That doesn’t look like the one I remember, but thank you! I like it a lot.

  89. says

    Heh. I was hanging around with my ex-flatmate at a park in the city centre. We both have long hair and some sort of a beard. We had a few beers and were talking shit, when this (still noticeably drunk) dude walked up to us.

    Dude: “Hey you nice ladies… um you nice couple… what the fuck, hey dudes can I have a beer?”

    After we stopped laughing he explained he had just been released from the drunk tank, and was on his way home.

    We gave him a can but hushed him away, as he didn’t seem like someone we could have a conversation with.

  90. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Shin splints showed up when I tried to run this morning : (

    Guess I’ll switch to my bike for a while.

  91. Jackie, Ms. Paper if ya nasty says

    Thanks Ibis. I needed to see some good news for trans kids.

    One of my sons (9yrs old) likes to wear dresses and things that go sparkle. He’s determined to grow his hair out starting this summer. He does not identify as a girl, but he’d very much like to dress in traditionally feminine clothes for school. At McD’s he wants the girly toys when he get’s a happy meal. Right now, while we wait for the adoption to finally be complete he’s making do with “boys” clothes that have a little more color and panache. His older sister is a little put out with me for letting him wear fedoras, hipster glasses etc., but dammit, Baby Boy is going to be allowed to express himself somehow. He makes due with bracelets and necklaces that are boyish enough not to get too much attention, while still feeling cute. He’d love some super expensive sneakers (apparently the only flashy accessory boys are allowed to drool over) but I don’t spend that kind of cash on shoes. He tried wearing shirts with ties at one point, but people thought that was weird. So, he stopped. I thought he looked adorable! There are some people in the know who want me to homeschool him to keep him safe from bullies, but he loves school and bullies aren’t just in schools. Also, he has some special needs that are just better met in school. A couple of my friends have encouraged me to let him “come out”. He already has so much to deal with that I am very hesitant to do so. But who knows? Maybe he’ll have a good experience. Maybe he’ll make someone else feel safe enough to express themselves too. I just wish we lived someplace more accepting than Kentucky. Right now we’re taking baby steps. I’ve shown him Eddy Izzard and Ru Paul, which blew his mind. (His birth family was very strict about gender roles.) We have a translady friend who comes around too. So, he knows we support him and that he isn’t alone. He tells us he dreams of taking his crush to prom one day and they will wear matching dresses. I don’t even know if this is something he’ll still be interested in in 9 years, but if it is I want that dream to come true.

  92. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Has anyone tried baking a cake in their rice steamer? I have a fuzzy-logic one with a big red button that sez: CAKE! I presume I just bung the mix in and hit it?

    ‘rupt, but…are you sure that’s not intended to make rice cakes?

  93. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Jackie, your son sounds like a very fun kid. Someday he will really realize how lucky he is to have you.

  94. says

    The wife of the mormon Prophet/Seer/Revelator/President, Thomas S. Monson, died recently. Most of us describe her that way because we can’t remember her name. She was a mormon non-entity, more of a category (woman/wife) than a person.

    Here are some excerpts from her obit (warning, may cause nightmares):

    She will forever be remembered for her kindness and quiet, sustained support of her husband in his Church duties.

    She once left a note ‘Dear children, do not let Daddy touch the microwave’ — followed by a comma ‘or the stove, or the dishwasher, or the dryer.’ I’m embarrassed to add any more to that list.”

    Wrote her daughter, “She dearly loved my father and recognized his talents and the gifts that he’d been given and took pleasure in supporting him and helping him magnify the talents that were his.”

    Ann shared a tender example of her mother supporting her father in his Church callings. As a newly called member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the then Elder Monson was assigned to speak in general priesthood meeting. Frances tried to stand in the doorway of the Salt Lake Tabernacle to listen to her husband speak, but the ushers wouldn’t allow it, so she stood as near to the window as possible to hear the talk.

    Never purposely in the spotlight, Frances Beverly Johnson Monson was always gracious, kind and supportive in everything she said and did. Her quiet influence felt around the world will be missed.

    http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/frances-monson-passes-away

  95. opposablethumbs says

    Portia, your mum sounds really great. She deserves a whole lot of yay all to herself :-)

  96. says

    Endorsed by Jesus!

    … Anna Pierre, a registered nurse who claimed she was being endorsed by Jesus Christ, finished last among the seven candidates with 56 votes, or just 0.83 percent.

    “Yes, Jesus endorsed me!” Pierre said during a stop at the Gwen Margolis Community Center Tuesday morning as the polls opened. “I’m not nuts, if I’m a freak and nuts for Jesus, let it be! Let the world know that Jesus is it and when you have Jesus on your side you can go on.”…

    There’s a photo showing the billboard claiming the Jesus endorsement:
    http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/Anna-Pierre-North-Miami-Mayoral-Candidate-Claims-She-Was-Endorsed-by-Jesus-Christ-207341981.html

  97. says

    Oh, look, an opportunity for us to provide “literature” for the cabins and lodge rooms at state parks in Georgia.

    Link.

    … Gov. Nathan Deal this week ordered the state Department of Natural Resources to return Bibles to cabins and lodge rooms at state parks. …

    “The attorney general and I agree that the state is on firm legal footing as we move to return the Bibles to the rooms. These Bibles are donated by outside groups, not paid for by the state, and I do not believe that a Bible in a bedside table drawer constitutes a state establishment of religion.”

    Deal added, “In fact, any group is free to donate literature.”…

  98. says

    Remember Harold Camping, the expert at predicting the end of the world? Looks like he should have just predicted the end of his private world. His assets have fallen from $135 million in 2007 to $29.2 million in 2011, according to tax records. So the withering scorn following his false predictions is taking a toll.

    Still, he has almost $30 million to play with.
    Link at Religion News.

    Is $30 million less rapturous than $135 million?

  99. opposablethumbs says

    And Jackie, what a perfect occasion to share the joys of Eddie Izzard. I wish every young kid – whether they are exploring/playing with/rejecting gender conventions or not – had a mum like you.

  100. Ogvorbis, broken failure. says

    Conversation in my office.

    We were discussing Scranton play write Jason Miller (on a co-worker’s friend’s facebook, there is a photo of his statue being used to anchor one corner of a tent (which is how is name came up)).

    Coworker asked: “I wonder if they ever did anything with his stool at Farleys (a local bar/pub)?

    Me (without missing a beat): “They flushed it?”

  101. Walton says

    A coroner’s inquest has recently begun into the death of Jimmy Mubenga, an Angolan man who was killed by security guards, working for the private company G4S under contract with the British government, while being deported in 2010. In the least surprising turn of events ever, it turns out that the guards in question were racist.

    Meanwhile, our Tory government has announced a vicious crackdown on immigrants, including denying undocumented migrants access to healthcare, and requiring private landlords to check the immigration status of people they rent to. In Spain, which has implemented a similar policy of excluding undocumented migrants from health services, a Senegalese man recently died of untreated tuberculosis. Anti-immigrant laws cost lives.

  102. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    My aunt found an old painting of my grandma’s. She gave it to me, it’s making me feel really nostalgic for my (late) grandma and painting in her studio with her. She’s been gone 5 years, but it still hits me hard with surprising frequency.

  103. says

    Which group actually had their tax-exempt status denied?

    … the only known 501(c)(4) applicant to have its status denied happens to be a progressive group: the Maine chapter of Emerge America, which trains Democratic women to run for office. Although the group did no electoral work, and didn’t participate in independent expenditure campaign activity either, its partisan status apparently disqualified it from being categorized as working for the “common good.” …

    Again, the focus on Tea Party groups is wrong, but two-thirds of the groups reviewed had no Tea Party ties — and only a Democratic group had its status denied. This story is more politically complicated than the right lets on. …

    Link.

  104. says

    Mormon Moments of Madness lauded by Catholics. Yikes. Its an axis of evil. Princeton professor Robert P. George, mormon Apostle Dallin H. Oaks, and Cardinal Francis George, Catholic archbishop of Chicago joined as one to celebrate what they call “religious freedom.” What they are really celebrating is their unholy alliance to fight gay marriage, civil rights for gays, and equal rights for women.

    Respect for religious freedom is waning as more Americans abandon organized churches, and the only way to bring it back is through systematic education.

    Those were the conclusions of LDS apostle Dallin H. Oaks in his address Thursday in New York City to more than 600 people, including religious leaders of numerous faiths.

    The event was an annual award ceremony sponsored by The Becket Fund for Religious Liberty, a public interest organization “dedicated to protecting free expression of religious traditions,” according to a release on the LDS Church website.

    At the dinner, Oaks was awarded the prestigious Canterbury Medal “for his lifetime of service in promoting the cause of religious freedom,” the release said. “The medal recognizes individuals who demonstrate courage in the defense of religious freedom and is named for Canterbury Cathedral, where Thomas Becket stood in defense of religious freedom against King Henry II.” …

    Those who care about religious freedom should “give greater attention to the education of the rising generation,” Oaks said….

    Such education must go beyond “preaching, lobbying and litigating,” the apostle said. “We must employ education to broaden the base of citizens who understand and are committed to defending religious freedom…..”

    In giving Oaks the award, Cardinal Francis George, Catholic archbishop of Chicago, praised the alliance between Catholics and Mormons in defending “life and dignity,” according to the release. …

    Princeton professor Robert P. George, who serves on the Becket Fund Board of Directors, said Oaks was “not only an LDS leader but an American leader,” who has set an example for others not only for his “excellent judgment and leadership as a lawyer, but also for his great love of God and the great witness he gives as a man of God.”

    Link, Salt Lake Tribune.

    Robert P George is on the board of the National Organization for Marriage, on the Editorial Advisory Board of the Deseret News, and he founded the Witherspoon Institute which funded the Regnerus study. There ought to be a term for incestuous award giving.

    Excerpt from Think Progress link above:

    Mark Regnerus’s “New Family Structures Study” has been widely cited by conservatives as evidence that children do worse with same-sex parents, but it has been even more widely debunked as junk science by professional medical organizations. Evidence has been mounting that the study was concocted by the anti-gay Witherspoon Institute for political purposes, and the latest evidence shows that Regnerus was actually coached on how to talk to the media about the study.

    The American Independent found a media guide that somebody provided Regnerus about how to talk about the study, including how to handle accusations that it’s biased because Witherspoon’s funding.

  105. says

    Walton @618: It is really distressing to see racism growing in the UK. It seems to be more acceptable for the general populace to express racism, and more acceptable for UK politicians to pass racist laws.

    Where is the peer pressure to say, “Wrong!”

  106. rq says

    *hugs* for the gang here, as well as a round of *drinksofchoice*,
    seeing as how it was our national amateur choir review day, and we did marvellously. We think. Our conductor didn’t seem too disappointed either, though, and we looked fantastic. Hopefully I’ll have a youtube video and/or photo to show off in a while.

    Today’s Win:
    him: Smile!
    me: Don’t want to.
    him: Why?
    me: Don’t want to.
    him: *shrug*
    No, that wasn’t ChoirCreep, but one of the other Nice Guys (he did get me my current job back when I was new to the country and all that). He goes around telling everyone to smile. After this small exchange, I went to another one of the basses, and said Smile!, and he gave me his best angry look in return. Fun was had by all!
    ChoirCreep did show (after skipping rehearsals), but we’re a big crowd and it was all avoidance on my part, no stress, just constant background awareness.

    +++

    Portia
    We can go skipping through flower fields, if you like. Midsummer is coming up, which means traditional Latvian daisy crowns are obligatory.
    Anyone else??

    Tony
    Thanks, for the happy-tears from your link back at… I forget. Such a happy story! And I sincerely wish for a similar happy ending for you, one day soon. ♥ to you

    Azkyroth
    Thanks for that mass of information – I’ll read it carefully tomorrow/when I have the time, but I feel like I will learn something!

    Parrowing
    re: church triggering
    First, *hugs* for you.
    Yeah, Husband and I sometimes discuss starting the whole weekly church thing, just for… wellll, just because, even though neither of us is really into it. But my dad disapproves, and soon our excuse of It’s too far will end, since they’re building a new Catholic church practically in our front yard (one small street away). When they do, I know it’ll be harder to explain why we don’t go regularly… And I don’t envy myself that moment, since I really don’t want to go back (except as a strange field trip for the children, that is).

  107. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Thanks, Tony. I appreciate that.

    Carlie: So I guess Florida doesn’t have the 2 or 3 year “grace period” for statutory rape. Another weirdness/failure of Florida.

  108. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    House arrest for two years?!
    Some plea deal!

    Wouldn’t the world be a magical place if male abusers were cracked down on this hard?

  109. says

    If you want to leak something to the press, but you are afraid of being caught in a dragnet like the one recently used against the Associated Press, please use the New Yorker’s system instead.

    … The code, designed by Swartz and Poulsen, is called DeadDrop; Stongbox is the name of the New Yorker’s program that uses it. The magazine announced that this means “people can send documents and messages to the magazine, and we, in turn, can offer them a reasonable amount of anonymity.” Appropriate to the open-data activism to which Swartz dedicated many of his considerable talents, the DeadDrop code is open for any person or institution to use and develop.

    DeadDrop lets users upload documents anonymously through the Tor network (which essentially scrambles IP addresses). With Stongbox, the leaked information is uploaded onto servers that will be kept separate from the New Yorker’s main system. Leakers are then given a unique code name that allows New Yorker journalists to contact them through messages left on Strongbox. Like any system, it is not perfectly unbreakable, but it has already received high praise in reviews….

    Salon link.

    New Yorker link.

  110. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Yes, let’s skip through fields of daisies, rq :)

    Tony! Forgot to mention your delicious-sounding drink recipe for me earlier. I’ll have one straight up, please ^_^

  111. carlie says

    I can see how baking a cake via steam would make for a really nice cake. Some cakes/puffs have you bake them with another pan of water in the oven, so this would be similar and possibly easier.

  112. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    Remember Harold Camping, the expert at predicting the end of the world? Looks like he should have just predicted the end of his private world. His assets have fallen from $135 million in 2007 to $29.2 million in 2011, according to tax records. So the withering scorn following his false predictions is taking a toll.

    This brings up two questions in my mind

    1. Will he be selling any of his radio stations?
    2. If so, can The Horde team up to buy one?

    Whaddayasay? WFTB anyone?

  113. ednaz says

    rq and Portia
    I can not skip, but I will happily walk along side of you through daisy fields. : D

    AND I LOVE The Friendship Dance!!

  114. carlie says

    I would laugh at Camping, but then again, he still has 29.2 million dollars more than I do, so there’s that.

  115. Jackie, Ms. Paper if ya nasty says

    Portia,
    Thanks. He’s great. He’s recently joined an Asperger’s support group and he loves it. He’s a quiet, responsible kid. He isn’t much on hugs, but he tells me he loves me all the time and thinks I’m the bee’s knees. He was the last of our three little poddlings to fall in love with me. I was smitten with them all from the beginning, of course. That feeling has only gotten stronger over time.

    Opposablethumbs,
    Thanks. I’m no Mary Poppins though. I’m more Nanny McPhee meets Nanny Ogg. I wish all kids could do better than that, but if wishes were horses….
    Like the line goes in Evita, “I was just in the right place at the perfect time. Filled a gap, I was lucky.”

    My friend’s little brother turned me onto Eddy years ago. I love him! We own all of his DVD’s. I used to watch them with my biological daughter when she was younger.
    BTW, my son has a speech delay. (All the little ones do, but his is the most pronounced.) He doesn’t always know words to describe things. So, anything staring a person with an English accent is a “Doctor Who show”. Eddy Izzard, Call the Midwife, Hamlet, and The King’s Speech are all “Doctor Who shows”. That tickles me. Recently I ironed bow ties onto some T-shirts and one onto a bandanna. The kids love them! Apparently Matt Smith as Doctor Who has made a big impression on them. What’s so funny about that is that my husband once upon a time had a very, very long scarf because of Tom Baker. ;)

  116. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    So, I finally caught my ex red-handed drunk today.

    I want to post a description of what I observed, for some confirmation that it’s as damning as I think it is.

    But first, if I do, is that likely safe given that I may have to take her to court to get supervised visitation in place?

  117. cicely says

    Got a little bit o’ time before the Game, can’t think of anywhere I’d rather spend it than here. Hi, all!

    iJoe!
    *waves, pouncehugs, beverage*, but no *M&Ms*, ’cause I eated them.
    :)
    Hurray for insurance! and you are Awesome.
     
    Please come around hereabouts, when/as you are able.

    Happy birthday to Spawnphontes.

    *moarhugs* for Nick.

    *alsomoarhugs* for Ogvorbis.

    Just passing by because George Takei is being awesome again.

    It’s a habit of his.
    :)

    I am a serious Mel Brooks fan.
     
    Well, I say “serious”….

    Thought I’d drop in to share this feel good story about trans teen getting support from school and hockey team.

    Awesomeness!

    Ogvorbis:
    *groooooooaannnn*

    Teenager expelled before graduation and facing felony charges for same-sex relationship. Her girlfriend is two years younger, and the minute she turned 18 her girlfriend’s parents had her arrested for sex abuse towards a minor.

    :( :( :(

    rq: Glad your choir thing went well, and that you weren’t stressed out by ChoirCreep.

    Show Time!
    -

  118. David Marjanović says

    Big *hugs* to Nick Gotts.

    Fifthed. Also hugs for JAL, thunk, yazikus, iJoe, rorschach, Ogvorbis, and Parrowing. And cicely, because why not. ^_^

    Ideally, the over-lying atmosphere should also be contained and vigorously decontaminated

    That’s where nitric acid comes in handy: throw a bit of copper in, and immediately the overlying atmosphere will be full of nitrogen oxides (nitric oxide is deep red-brown, so you can tell!) that will burninate anything this side of fluorine and some of its compounds.

    (Idea from here and here.)

    Silvio Berlusconi

    http://www.nelsonhaha.com/

    I am starting to get desperate…

    :-o Christ, what assholes.

    Have people notice the updates on Kiera Wilmot? I’m too threadrupt to know. But if it’s useful:

    This is good news, and … this news is even better.

    YAY YAY YAY

    Just passing by because George Takei is being awesome again. *swoons* Via BB, image gallery responding to traditional-marriage bigots:

    imgur link

    Oh myyyy!

    So full of win! Adam & Yves. *nodnod* ^_^

    Mel Brooks: “I Hope in Some Way I’m Responsible for the Vulgarity That’s Filling the Screens Now.”

    + 1

    he had just been released from the drunk tank

    *chortle*

    He tells us he dreams of taking his crush to prom one day and they will wear matching dresses.

    Is $30 million less rapturous than $135 million?

    Only one way to find out !!

    they’re building a new Catholic church practically in our front yard (one small street away). When they do, I know it’ll be harder to explain why we don’t go regularly…

    I thought Latvia was Protestant?

  119. says

    But first, if I do, is that likely safe given that I may have to take her to court to get supervised visitation in place?

    If you’re planning to go to court, I think you should definitely check with a lawyer before saying anything in public. You don’t want to screw yourself over.

  120. David Marjanović says

    Revenge, Ego and the Corruption of Wikipedia.

    People who confuse reality (with real people in it and stuff) with an art project should be kept away from reality.

    I am a serious Mel Brooks fan.

    Well, I say “serious”….

    EMERGENCY STOP
    NEVER USE

  121. thunk, Ravenston J Z 7 service to Prospekt Slavy says

    Yeah, gender issues seem to be the thing in which I like griping about myself today. Because I’m too timid to present accordingly. and logically, everyone calls me male, and my protestations are unheeded.

    and my procrastination. I hate paper-writing. The teacher gave the class a choice to have an actual final, but everyone was like “NOOOOOOOO!” at the possibility. And I don’t understand why. (probably because I never really need to study. so 90 minutes spent instead of 420).

  122. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Portia

    Shin splints showed up when I tried to run this morning : (

    Guess I’ll switch to my bike for a while.

    People who own a bicycle run? o.O Were you being chased by a large predator?

  123. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    FossilFishy:
    Ha! I try to alternate. I decided that because I had never tried running I would give it a shot, working up to a 5K was the plan.

  124. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    So, yesterday I volunteered for a new program through the local legal aid office. They have lawyers show up to the eviction court call and represent tenants on the spot if they qualify for the program. It’s really neat to be able to do it. The staff attorneys from legal aid said that S and I are the only people to volunteer so far. I’m looking forward to going again next week.

    I got a painting at the thrift shop up the road in a frame and everything. I painted over it and have something I really like. In the process, I came up with a new strategy for a new case I got yesterday. Left brain right brain balance?

  125. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    And, I painted the painting in a similar style to the one my aunt brought me, and used it for guidance in the style. Felt a little like my grandma was still teaching me to paint. It was comforting, instead of devastating, to feel her presence. Guess I’m in a new phase.

  126. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Just a little bike store owner propaganda humour. Actually, I advise folks that cycling isn’t a weight bearing exercise and for some that could be a problem for bone health.

  127. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Huh, I thought that jogging was to be done in moderation because of the impact, and that biking was better for your joints. How is biking not good for your bones? You mean they need to be beaten up to stay strong? I guess that’s true of muscles but I didn’t know it was of bones.

  128. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Weight bearing exercise is needed, AFIK, IANAD, for bone strength. If they don’t carry weight regularly it can make osteoporosis worse. It doesn’t have to be running, walking is also a weight bearing exercise. Bones do respond to pressure by building themselves up. As I understand it folks like mixed martial artists and boxers have stronger bones from the repeated impacts.

    In an extreme example cycling can in fact be bad for your bones in and of itself. Tour de France riders loose a measurable amount of bone mass from their spines over the course of the race. This is because they spend so much time each day supporting their weight on their butts and arms rather than with their spines, coupled with extreme expenditure of bodily resources on a daily basis. Your casual rider and even enthusiast fitness cyclist are very unlikely to ever experience this problem though.

    Joint health is a separate issue, and there cycling can be good if it’s done right: pedaling fast with a light pressure and having the seat up at a proper height.

  129. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    And there’s one of things I like about this place: someone will have a link or be willing to find one when I’m too lazy busy to do it. Thanks John.

  130. John Morales says

    FossilFishy:

    Actually, I advise folks that cycling isn’t a weight bearing exercise and for some that could be a problem for bone health.

    Actually, it is weight-bearing — it’s merely low-impact.

    (Thus “pushbike”)

  131. John Morales says

    FossilFishy, heh, your #652 made my previous otiose.

    (Premature pedantic ejaculation!)

  132. John Morales says

    thunk,

    Yeah, gender issues seem to be the thing in which I like griping about myself today. Because I’m too timid to present accordingly. and logically, everyone calls me male, and my protestations are unheeded.

    This is clearly significant to you and persistent in your mind.

    Seems to me that whatever gender identity it is which will satisfy you, right now your life-circumstances circumscribe your freedom of action, so that you can’t even openly seek to know what it may be.

    I know it must be frustrating, but given your age and obvious competence I am very hopeful of a successful outcome. Eventually.

  133. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    No worries John. I’ve been unconsciously using “weight bearing” as a stand in for “low impact” and your correction is appreciated.

  134. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Thanks for explaining that so well, John and FossilFishy : )

  135. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    EUROOOOOOOOOOOOOOVISION!

    Is it wrong that I’m loving it?

  136. broboxley OT says

    apparently “dead ever after” is the last book in the sookie stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris. As soon as I read that introduction I closed the book as I want to devour it in one sitting. Since playoff hockey doesn’t start until 3pm tomorrow I will hit the book after breakfast

  137. yazikus says

    Looks a little quiet in here.
    @fossilfishy

    One thing you may have noticed already is that I did not give you a formal welcome to Women in Secularism 2. Of course you are welcome here. We’re very happy to have you with us, but this is something you know already, and, although I don’t want to appear ungracious, why take up time to state the obvious, because the reality is we have much work to do, and presumably you came here for substance not rhetoric.

    I’m totally missing it! It was a highlight of my teenage tv watching years. If I had tv now, I would totally be watching it.
    As far as interesting days, I had a four year old school me on mud daubers. Apparently the mud daubers don’t kill spiders, the larvae they leave in the spiders “eats them up and then kills the spider to come alive.”

  138. yazikus says

    Copy fail!

    EUROOOOOOOOOOOOOOVISION!

    Is it wrong that I’m loving it?

    Was totally what I meant to say!

  139. yazikus says

    And to be more clear, as I have absolutely failed in this, the eurovision comment was for FossilFishy. I suck tonight.

  140. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    No, no, that was great yazikus. After all, Eurovision is all about the WTF!? non sequitur. :)

  141. yazikus says

    No, no, that was great yazikus. After all, Eurovision is all about the WTF!? non sequitur. :)

    @ FossilFishy
    So who is your favorite for the win? What am I missing?

  142. yazikus says

    @chigau

    I missed Eurovision :( :( :(

    Also, you are totally damned, 666 and all. Just FYI, you might want to bone up on your salvation prayers.

  143. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    I’m new to the whole thing. I don’t remember it ever being available back in Canada. Mind you, I never really looked for it either.

    It’s quite prominent here and now I’m hooked. Ms. Fishy doesn’t understand my fascination at all. Last night she said “I thought you liked good music?” I wish I could explain it better than saying it’s not the music that holds me, it’s the entire spectacle. It’s thinking about just how much time and effort went into creating that!? Those moments of frisson were you can’t really believe that more than one person thought that was a good idea. It’s also about the moments where there is something of musical worth and it pops so strongly because of the surrounds. And say what one will about the nature of the music, there’s often very strong vocal performances. And there’s no auto-correct on those voices, no lip-syncing, the occasional dodgy note proves that to my satisfaction.

  144. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    I believe Denmark is the favorite, but I missed the second semi-final last night. Which is okay, I find it a bit tedious to have to re-watch all the tunes done exactly, and hooboy are they exact, again on the final night.

    I have no idea who will win. There’s so much national politics involved in the voting that I just barrack for the ones I like and don’t worry too much if they win or not.

  145. chigau (違う) says

    You know …
    if you go to the Eurovision website
    (there are spoilers)

  146. says

    @633:

    1. Will he be selling any of his radio stations?

    Yes, Harold Camping is divesting himself of many radio stations.

  147. cicely says

    And a *big hug* with *chocolate* for David M., because why not.
    :D

    That’s where nitric acid comes in handy: throw a bit of copper in, and immediately the overlying atmosphere will be full of nitrogen oxides (nitric oxide is deep red-brown, so you can tell!) that will burninate anything this side of fluorine and some of its compounds.

    *carefully taking notes*
    Nitric acid…copper…oxides…burnination….
    Got it!

    People who own a bicycle run? o.O Were you being chased by a large predator?

    A Horse, perhaps? A pack of Horses?

    Portia, sounds as if you are in a positive place right now. Yay!
    -

  148. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Pack horses carrying peas! I can ‘t imagine running from any lesser threat than that.

  149. says

    UnknownEric:
    I am sooooooo loving WFTB!
    We can all take turns over the course of a day hosting shows.
    I seriously want a Lynna hosted –imagine booming announcers voice here–daily Mormon Moments of Madness! Or maybe at 1155 am and 455 pm, before the news.

    ****
    carlie:
    That story angers me. This young woman is facing jailtime because she was in love. Those bigoted parents of her GF have fucked her life over.

    ****
    In some disgustingly ignorant misogynistic news:

    Radio host Pete Santilli made shocking remarks about former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, claiming she should be “shot” for being “involved in the killings of American troops.”

    “I want to shoot her right in the vagina and I don’t want her to die right away; I want her to feel the pain and I want to look her in the eyes and I want to say, on behalf of all Americans that you’ve killed, on behalf of the Navy SEALS, the families of Navy SEAL Team Six who were involved in the fake hunt down of this Obama, Obama bin Laden thing, that whole fake scenario, because these Navy SEALS know the truth, they killed them all. On behalf of all of those people, I’m supporting our troops by saying we need to try, convict, and shoot Hillary Clinton in the vagina”.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/2013/05/18/pete-santilli-hillary-clinton_n_3299247.html?icid=hp_front_top_art

  150. says

    Jackie:
    The world needs more mothers like you. Reading about your son and the love you show him and the acceptance he gets-unconditionally-from you, is wonderful.

    ****

    Joe:
    Good to read you again. I hope things turn around for you.

  151. rq says

    Good morning!
    We got our score last night, and it’s a good one, just have to wait for the remaining choirs from our (usual) final group to perform today, and then we’ll know our overall ranking.

    +++

    FossilFishy
    Might I recommend reviewing Romania’s Eurovision offering? It’s… the voice is… just listen. I was impressed (more by the performance rather than the musical quality of the song itself).
    And Eurovision wasn’t available in Canada, my mum back in the 70s had to go to France to realize people were going nuts over some obscure song competition. ;) And I would love to know why Australians are so excited about it.

    Jackie
    You are awesome. And your kids sound fantastic.

    Improbable Joe
    Did I miss you last night? :( *hugs* anyway!

    *hugs* for the crowd

  152. Beatrice (looking for a happy thought) says

    Good morning.

    Friend came over and we both forgot about Eurovision, even though we’d both independently been planning to watch.
    We turned the tv on for the excerpts that roll a couple of times before voting.
    Fun things about Eurovision:
    1. guessing whom was the singer copying in looks (usually very very obviously)
    2. guessing which popular songs are being ripped
    3. ah… that couple leaning on each other while leaving their bleeding hearts on the stage … Eurovision
    4. obligatory tacky white suits guys with buttons nearly popping off
    5. obligatory really kitchy group ( more than the rest)
    6. obligatory woman in a dress parts of which she rips in stages
    7. those poor ladies in evening gowns who wandered in from serious concert halls (not necessarily with good songs)

    Judging from the excerpts, I thing we had it all this time too.

    It’s so bad it’s good. I love it. Too bad I didn’t see the whole thing last evening.

  153. says

    Hi folks
    Yes, I’m still in Rupt sur Moselle (fun fact: we’Re going to spend the a few days even closer to Rupt than we usually are)
    Big hugs to each and everybody, welcome back, Joe
    Little one is feeling much better. You can tell that she’s still a bit unfit by the amount of time she sleeps but she’s well otherwise. And #1 can almost ride a bike. She’s doing really well, especially given that her bike is rather big.

    beatrice
    I hear the Germans lost big.
    Serves them right for trying to just copy last year’s winner song again

  154. rq says

    Ha. Latvians lost even bigger. Ddin’t even make it to the final, with all the usual excuses: It just wasn’t a Eurovision song! Ha. Before that, it was all, We have the best Eurovision song in years!
    Ah well. We always hope for next year. Since our great successes of Marija Naumova and BrainStorm, we’ve just gone downhill. (I mean, really – a Latvian all-men’s (not even all-boys’!!) band singing in Italian? Pffft.) I really liked this year’s offering, though, but I guess nobody loves us anymore. *pout*

    For more amusement, last night’s going to bed conversation:
    What I thought Husband said: I think we should talk about a sex change. (Latv. gen. seksa)
    What he actually said: I think we should talk about a blanket change. (Latv. gen. segas)

    Thoughts running through my head: What? Does he want to be a woman? Wait, wrong question… Is he unhappy as he is? How can I ask questions without sounding doubtful? How can I be supportive?

    My response: What??
    Him: Well, this is still our winter blanket. (Currently Latvia is experiencing 30 degree weather.)
    Me: Oh. *pause* I thought you said sex change.
    Him: I wondered why you sounded so shocked.

  155. says

    Thanks to Portia and cicely for Spawn well wishes. The rice-steamer birthday cake turned out really well. I was rather surprised myself. Perfectly fluffy and moist: Picture here.

    I feel very inspired to try out some of those other dishes now.

    {tries pushing oversized piece of cake into USB port}

  156. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Moldova! Like the song, love the elevator dress.

    Finland, oi. “I’m the slave your the master, marry me baby.” Then she kisses a woman at the end. Conflicted.

  157. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Belarus, giant disco ball! Commentator “She’s one tassel away from a wardrobe malfunction.” LOL.

  158. John Morales says

    rq,

    For more amusement, last night’s going to bed conversation:
    What I thought Husband said: I think we should talk about a sex change. (Latv. gen. seksa)
    What he actually said: I think we should talk about a blanket change. (Latv. gen. segas)

    :)

    Nice it is, to have the intimacy to chuckle about such misuderstandings.

  159. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Commentator got hip tossed by Swedish singer backstage. Unlikely to be topped by anything onstage. Still wiping tears from my eyes.

  160. Eurasian magpie says

    Denmark won the Eurovision song contest with a song called ‘Only Teardrops’. Perhaps a testimony to longstanding reading of Pharyngula, my morning-blurred eyes rendered it into ‘Only Tetrapods’.

    Congarats, Denmark.

  161. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Oh for fucks sake, I’m in Australia watching a delayed broadcast, thanks for the spoiler.

  162. rq says

    FossilFishy
    It’s ok, I didn’t watch the final last night, so this was a good review by you! :) Keep it coming!

  163. rq says

    So, for those interested, this is what we looked like yesterday, bonus points to anyone who can identify me. :P
    No video/sound yet, but I’ll post it with lots of self-congratulation when I get some.
    Meanwhile, I’ve always loved the flower duet, even before it was in that car commercial.
    Spent the morning weeding and sunburning, and all I kept thinking was roots, bloody roots!

    And this is a bit early, but Henri the Chat Noir prepares for the winter solstice holidays with all due cheer.

  164. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Those dresses are fun, rq! Hope the experience was good.

  165. rq says

    Thanks, Portia, those are our new gowns. Our old ones were… a bit worn. We manage to look classy these days. ;)

    +++

    Last of the Myacinths, possible repeats, but I think I managed to collect all possible colour values that I had available.

  166. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Anybody else return to media that they used to consume before they started critically examining media? I have had this experience more than once, where I watch something I used to watch and suddenly, it’s horribly -ist. Today’s example: Aziz Ansari. In this stand-up special, he first hates on women who don’t respond positively to his random advances. Then, not ten minutes later, he hates on women who do respond positively to random advances. In the first bit, though, he says he doesn’t talk to women he doesn’t know because they’ll be mean to him. If only that would work on all men. : /

  167. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Very classy!

    and those flowers, gorgeous! thanks for decorating the Lounge with such varied loveliness this morning :) (er, afternoon? Oops, evening for FossilFishy, right? )

  168. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    And, because when it rains Portia-comments, it pours:

    I love that little vase, the connected ones like that are darling. Whimsical and fun. My aunt has one just like that in blue.

  169. Ogvorbis, broken failure. says

    Looks like someone forgot to care for the old portcullis. I keep telling him that old machinery needs very careful and loving attention. You can’t just slap some grease on it and call it good. You have to love that old machinery, caress it, fondle it, work the lubricant into every hole, every crease, every gear, every pinion. PZed, if you don’t take care of your old machinery, your old equipment, it’ll get hung up on something and not work. So please, for the sake of the Lounge, care for your equipment.

  170. rq says

    I like it because it looks so crooked and uneven. :) Whimsical is a good name!
    Hey, I’m glad you’re here, Portia, I was planning on spamming the Lounge alone, since it’s so quiet.
    I think I just messed up the garden photos I had all set up. :(

  171. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    I will spam with you gladly. :)

    Sorry about the photos. Do you mean the meatspace setting was messed up or the files were lost, or something?

  172. rq says

    Fewf, all is well with the garden! These photos are from the past week, and they’re not just from the garden, since Middle Child insisted I take photos of all the flowers we saw on our daily walk.
    Today’s still to come. (I said I was going to flood this place.)

  173. rq says

    Portia
    I thought gmail lost them because I forgot to click Ok and accidentally pressed something I didn’t want to press, but they’re ok. :)

  174. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Glad they were recovered. They are bright and cheerful :)

  175. rq says

    Portia
    re: Old Media
    That’s actually the reason I don’t revisit (mixed feelings about that) old media, because I like to keep the shining impression I had of it (not that I have a lot of old media to revisit).

  176. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    It’s a good thing the landlord has somebody mow the lawn here otherwise it would constantly be overgrown. I am bad at home maintenance, ha.

  177. chigau (違う) says

    Ogvorbis
    PZ is at a Conference, I don’t think he has an auto-portcullis.
    as for the imagery in your comment, I’ll be in my bunk.

  178. says

    Speaking of said conference, boy Ron Lindsay sure dropped the ball on this one.* Women in Secularism 3, if it happens may need a new sponsor.

    *how difficult is it to understand that when minorities speak of their experiences, it is a good thing for those in power to talk less and listen more?

  179. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Not the end of the world E.U. It’s more fun if you don’t know, but it’s not like I had any money on it. :)

    Holy hell rq, Romania, I, er, I have no idea… Last year there was a pretty boy who did very aerobic dance moves including a back flip off a riser. It was him, four back up dancers and one guy with a mic, dressed all in black and so far off to stage left that the lights barely touched him. I suspect that he was providing vocals for the pretty boy, at least in part. So
    I wonder if there was a contralto hiding under Romania’s dress, there was enough room for another person under there. Mind you, he did a vocal run up the scale, cracking a bit on the transition to falsetto, so maybe it was all him. Weird and wonderful in that only-in-Eurovision way.

    Denmark’s song wasn’t the worst.

    I really enjoyed Italy. After all the posed and choreographed emoting having one guy just sing with no stage effects to speak of felt fresh, and it also felt like he was serving the song rather than trying to win.

    I also really liked Moldova. Interesting melody and good on em for avoiding English.

  180. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    I just realized this old media revelation thingy does not bode well for the impending release of Arrested Development : (

  181. says

    Woooo-hooooooo, friend’s coming for a visit tomorrow with her baby
    Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh, friend’s coming for a visit tomorrow with her baby, I need to get the baby quilt finished (did I mention that I’ve been planning and working on this since she told me she’s pregnant last July?)

  182. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    rq:

    I don’t have any reason to think it’ll be any worse than any other show, I just know that the jokes are not all exactly progressive. I mean, it will probably contain some -ist humor and I will be disappointed and knowing myself I will be distracted and a little sad. I’m totally excited for it, don’t get me wrong. Counting the days.

  183. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Have fun with your friend, Giliell.

    I have a quilt blocked out that has been waiting in vain for me to conquer the cranky sewing machine.

  184. Jackie, Ms. Paper if ya nasty says

    *lip quiver*
    *tears*

    You guys are too sweet. Thanks.

    Portia, Yes! That is a topic covered on Citizen Radio fairly frequently. The more progressive you become, the more you start to notice sexist, racist, homophobic stuff and it changes the way you see media. I’ll re-watch something and be horrified that I missed it before. Leaving religion and woo had a similar effect. I think I actually groaned in the theater when Batman was saved by a prison chiropractor.

  185. says

    Portia
    Thanks
    Actually I only need to add the binding, so it should be doable

    Anybody else return to media that they used to consume before they started critically examining media? I have had this experience more than once, where I watch something I used to watch and suddenly, it’s horribly -ist.

    Yeah, and with about every new piece of media, especially with the kids’ stuff.
    What I usually notice first is that almost all shows (that are not especially girl shows) play on male-only planets (and even in the girl-shows there’s often only the female lead character and then all male support).
    My absolute hate object at the moment is The Green Squad: A bunch of white kids (if the one boy is supposed to be Asian they’re doing a horrible job) travelling the world, usually to an endangered eco-system or species where usually the stupid natives (or sometimes a greedy guy who fights against the indigenous population) destroy everything but those clever kids always find the perfect solution those stupid savages didn’t think about.

  186. carlie says

    I just realized this old media revelation thingy does not bode well for the impending release of Arrested Development : (

    Nope, and then some. I recall a few trans jokes besides the glaring Mrs. Featherbottom business, and I’d be interested to hear from others whether all of the “Tobias is gay” jokes are ok because they rely on the gag being that Tobias doesn’t realize how gay he is (rather than being gay being the funny part) or if they are also terrible. And I’m sure there are a lot more. But I’ll enjoy what I can and critique what I can, I guess.

  187. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    No problem, Giliell, you can snap that right out. Good luck.

    Ugh yeah new media is always a problem. That kids’ show sounds awful.
    I think that old media is more saddening because it’s sort of surprising if you didn’t have the memory of the isms it contains.

    carlie:

    But I’ll enjoy what I can and critique what I can, I guess.

    Yeah, that’s all we can do I suppose. I remember vaguely starting to think that the MRF storyline was offensive, but not having strong feelings about it at the time.

    Jackie:
    I’ll have to look up Citizen Radio. :)

  188. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    I just realized I misread your Tobias jokes comment. As a straight person, I guess I can’t say definitively, but my take is that they’re offensive because they rely on and prop up harmful stereotypes about gay men. They often reek of “ironic” homophobia. Like the show is aware that the jokes are terrible, and is making fun of stereotypes, or that what they think they’re doing anyway. But really it’s just bad.

  189. carlie says

    Portia – oh, right, they also rely on many of the markers of Tobias being gay as really obvious stereotypical markers, and also the Barry Zuckercorn jokes. Oh, and I despised the Rita storyline when it was happening as well as after.

  190. Beatrice (looking for a happy thought) says

    the gag being that Tobias doesn’t realize how gay he is

    I have no idea about the show, never watched it, but this doesn’t sound good.
    As far as I know, person either is gay or isn’t, there aren’t degrees except in how much a person fits into stereotypes of gay men.

  191. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Yeah, I was thinking more about it and I think that some of the Tobias-is-gay jokes might okay because of lines like “I want to kiss that man right between the cheeks” and the like, but then again it’s still coming back to “Tee hee he said something gay.” I’m torn on those ones.

    What Barry jokes were offensive, I don’t recall.

  192. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    As far as I know, person either is gay or isn’t, there aren’t degrees except in how much a person fits into stereotypes of gay men.

    A lot of the jokes are predicated on stereotypes, yes. Some of them are based on Tobias doing things like trying to get other men into intimate situations…oh wait that’s a “predatory gay man” stereotype. See I am not the best judge of this because it’s not my marginalized group so I’m going to go on the safe side and say it’s all bad. The only thing I could possibly give a pass to, like I said, is the outrageous double entendres he says. But even then. Yeah. The only good Tobias joke is a Tobias-is-a-terrible-doctor-and-a-worse-actor joke.

  193. broboxley OT says

    rq, enjoy your group pic but in trying to identify you I am drawing a blanc

  194. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Catching up on the wiscfi ugliness. One thought keeps resounding in my head: shutting up is not that hard. It’s just not.

  195. Ogvorbis, broken failure. says

    as for the imagery in your comment, I’ll be in my bunk.

    Sorry. I was trying for funny. Failed again.

  196. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    I think the joke was well-received, Og. I can’t remember, have you watched Firefly?

  197. Beatrice (looking for a happy thought) says

    I thought “I’ll be in my bunk” was an indication of impending good time being had in the bunk.

  198. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Yes, me too.

    It’s one of Jayne’s repeated lines, which is where I first heard it.

  199. Beatrice (looking for a happy thought) says

    Portia,

    Ah, I didn’t know it was a Firefly reference. I just saw it here before.

  200. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Yep, though I can’t speak for whether chigau intended it to be such a reference.

  201. carlie says

    As far as I know, person either is gay or isn’t, there aren’t degrees except in how much a person fits into stereotypes of gay men.

    There are degrees of being bi though, yes? It’s a continuum – some people are entirely one or the other, some are equally attracted to all genders, some favor some genders more or less than others.

    I think most of the jokes are supposed to all fit into the category of “Tobias is pretty clueless about everything and generally delusional about reality and his place in it”. But a lot of them are really cheap and stereotype-reliant. The writers spent a lot more time on the intricacies of the interactions and foreshadowing and callbacks of the jokes than they did on the jokes themselves.

    Barry jokes for the same reason – play on stereotypical behavior. But like Portia said, I don’t fit into the category of gay man, so I couldn’t know how the whole thing is seen by someone who is.

  202. carlie says

    And speaking of awareness killing jokes, Jayne first makes that comment after seeing that Inara, the registered Companion (prostitute) traveling with the crew, has brought on a woman as a client. In fact, the entire crew goes all gaga and giggly over the fact that she’s *gasp!* with another woman, as if same-sex interactions are still somewhat taboo a few hundred years from now, and that lesbian sex is really hot for straight men. So *sigh*.

    There is one comment later in a later episode where they’re at a brothel and when the madam asks the captain why he hasn’t availed himself of their women, he says that he’s not interested right now, she smoothly says “we also have men if you’re sly” and he replies with a casual “oh no, I lean towards women, I’ve just got a lot on my mind” or the like. That treats it as if it’s a casual, non-important difference, but could be just that the captain feels that way rather than society in general, and is about 8 seconds long v. the couple of minutes of oogling and discussion of Inara and her client in the other episode.*

    *why yes, I have just recently watched the entire season, how could you tell?

  203. pseudonymus says

    I recently posted* about people who base their rhetoric on themselves being rational, objective and factual etc. in contrast to their partners in conversation being, in contrast, stupid and unthinking These people very rarely, if ever, fail to be jackasses. It might be that they can not avoid being such, because a necessary condition for stating such things is being a jackass. It certainly seems like it. In any case, it reminded me of something.

    I don’t know how well somegreybloke and/or the actor** in this video are known to FtB, but they feel like stalwart allies to feminism, social justice and so forth. I recommend you watch this, because for me it was so… satisfying. Vindication in art!

    http://youtu.be/9lIW6RsUt-s

    * I again apologise to Nerd of Redhead
    ** This is staged, satire.

  204. says

    Tony:

    I seriously want a Lynna hosted –imagine booming announcers voice here–daily Mormon Moments of Madness! Or maybe at 1155 am and 455 pm, before the news.

    Heh. I nominate you, Tony, to be the booming-announcer voice, with reverb.

    Here is Moment of Mormon Madness featuring Mitt Romney talking with Jay Leno on The Tonight Show, May 17: http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/video/mitt-romney-part-1/n37037/

    Some caustic coverage: http://www.uproxx.com/tv/2013/05/jay-leno-and-mitt-romney-went-for-a-nice-drive-together/

    Because Mitt Romney is old news no matter how recent his appearance on Jay Leno, here is an even older Moment of Mormon Madness, the dogma regarding who gets into the mormon Celestial Kingdom after kicking the bucket:

    1) A Mormon man cannot be exalted (“CK”) unless he is married. So bachelors are s***out of luck.
    2) A woman cannot gain the CK unless she is called through the veil by her husband, using her Temple name.
    3) Women not sealed in the Temple may be sealed to other men posthumously. This means that:
    4) An exalted man may have other women sealed to him, meaning that although there is no polygamy on Earth, there will be in the CK. Thus,
    5) A woman who is sealed, while living, in the Temple, may be only her husband’s first wife in the CK.

    Quote is from ex-mormon “caffiend.” I will add that it is my understanding that the mormon god can correct both bachelorhood and spinsterhood with post-mortem sealings, if he so chooses.

    Also, mormon leaders used to teach that only men who were polygamists during their earthly lives, and had at least three wives, could attain the highest level in the CK.

    Mormon leaders also used to teach that women who never married on earth, may be married in the CK, but were more likely to be assigned to worthy families as a servant. Even in the CK a good mormon family would need servants.

    Some blacks were sealed even before they died to white families as future servants in the CK.

  205. Beatrice (looking for a happy thought) says

    The absolute moron who has been our mayor since 2000 has been reelected.
    *headdesk*

  206. says

    Arrgghhh. I am committing typos all over the place this morning.

    Starting over. New topic. Mormon-conservative-infected legislation in Utah brings us teachers carrying concealed weapons into schools:

    … Every day, the Davis School District teacher carries a concealed handgun and about 25 rounds to his junior high school in hopes of helping to defend it should such an attack occur….

    No one knows exactly how many Utah teachers are packing because, as concealed-firearm permit holders, they’re not required to tell parents, school police officers or their principals….

    Every day, Jones wears a small pistol, along with five magazines filled with a total of 31 rounds, on a band around his belly. Smith wears his handgun on his side, tucked into his pants, under his shirt in a holster. Neither man’s gun is visible under his clothing, and they never take the guns off while at school.

    Salt Lake Tribune link.

    Politicians from Utah, mormons every one, are pushing HB76 and HB114. These bills include a “constitutional-carry” provision that would allow all Utahans to carry a concealed firearm, without a permit. They also want to restore gun-ownership rights for felons convicted of non-gun-related crimes. HB114 would restrict federal agents from imposing firmer federal gun laws in Utah. [Sounds unconstitutional, but that won't stop them.]

    Some Utah mormons backing this insanity:
    Curt Oda, Republican Representative, Clearfield
    Rep. Brian Greene, R-Pleasant Grove, one of the House’s “young guns”
    Allen Christensen, R-North Ogden
    Rep. John Mathis, R-Vernal
    Senator Orrin Hatch
    Senator Mike Lee
    …. etc.

  207. says

    As a follow-up to my post @742, here is some troubling data:

    Utahns made an all-time high 23,000 gun purchases in December, the same month as the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn.

    That number more than triples the state’s gun-sale average from the first 11 months of 2012. …

    According to the Utah Bureau of Criminal Identification, requests for concealed-weapons permits hovered at 6,600 in the month before the mass shooting. They climbed to 13,000 in January, 18,000 in February and 19,000 in March. …

  208. says

    Coverage on The Guardian of the new DeadDrop software (Strongbox at The New Yorker);

    …DeadDrop relies on code that was written by the open data campaigner Aaron Swartz and completed just a month before he committed suicide in January. It will be open for any person or institution to use and develop. Poulsen expects that some people will spin off their own versions – or “fork the code” as it’s known in the business – while a canonical top copy will be maintained that can be constantly updated and improved.

    The first major use of the code has been pioneered by the New Yorker, Wired’s sister magazine within Condé Nast, which has posted its version on its website under the title Strongbox. Nicholas Thompson, editor of newyorker.com, hopes that the new anonymous information sharing service will help redress the imbalance in what he calls the “data arms race”.

    “Technology for surveillance and data capture by companies monitoring our behaviour has developed at such a pace that data privacy has failed to keep up. It’s an arms race between data capture and data privacy, and data capture is winning.”

    The drop box is already a leap ahead of the technology used by WikiLeaks in that it allows for a two-way communication between source and journalist, and not just a one-way handing over of information. …

  209. Beatrice (looking for a happy thought) says

    So. Doctor Who.

    I just don’t care all that much any more.

  210. carlie says

    I liked it. Not enough to make up for the bad season, and certainly not of the “See? See? It all makes sense now! All of those things you thought were plot problems were really part of the big plot!” variety, but enough to make me not write it off altogether. And there was one moment which I will not spoil which was immensely pleasing from a story arc and character development perspective and was also coincidentally very, very hot.

  211. Beatrice (looking for a happy thought) says

    carlie,

    Ah, I think I know which moment you mean. Yeah, it made some things a bit clearer (also, hot), but still…how that whole arc developed still pisses me off, even with this addendum.

    Maybe it’s me, not the series, but I just don’t feel them any more.

  212. Beatrice (looking for a happy thought) says

    It feels like they weren’t even trying, and are saving all the big guns for the anniversary episode.

  213. Vilém Saptar says

    Rupt, I am. Piling *hugs* *chocolates* *hard drinks*

    X-posted :

    I haven’t seen strange gods or Caine post in these past few days. Are they on a break?

  214. says

    Austerity kills. Getting economic plans right is especially difficult when healthcare is considered.
    http://www.salon.com/2013/05/19/paul_krugmans_right_austerity_kills/

    Britain and the USA have some mistakes in common when it comes to economic recovery.

    Cameron claimed that hundreds of thousands of Britons were cheating the government’s disability system. The Department for Work and Pensions begged to differ. It estimated that less than 1 percent of disability benefit funds went to people who were not genuinely disabled.

    Still, Cameron proceeded to cut billions of pounds from welfare benefits including support for the disabled. To try to meet Cameron’s targets, the Department for Work and Pensions hired Atos, a private French “systems integration” firm. Atos billed the government £400 million to carry out medical evaluations of people receiving disability benefits.

    … The total sum of disability fraud for “conditions of entitlement” was £2 million, far less than the contract to hire Atos, and the Department estimated that greater harm resulted from the accidental underpayment of £70 million each year. But the government’s fiscal ideology had created the impetus for radical cuts….

  215. says

    Slate has put together a report, leaning heavily on video, that highlights the deceptive editing that pro-lifers use to make abortion clinics look bad.

    I wish this report would get the same distribution that the deceptive videos are getting. Not likely.

    After Kermit Gosnell went on trial in April for murder, Live Action pro-life dunderheads ramped up the production and distribution of deceptive videos. “Heavily promoted” is the description of their successful distribution scheme.

  216. Ichthyic says

    In my newsfeed this morning, was news that Amina was arrested.

    anyone have any details?

    In a separate development in Kairouan on Sunday, the interior ministry said a woman had been arrested for placing a feminist banner on the wall of a mosque and trying to expose her breasts.

    The activist, named Amina, sparked controversy in recent months by publishing nude images on Facebook and writing on her chest: “My body belongs to me and not the honor of others”.

    http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/05/19/us-tunisia-islamists-idUSBRE94I04K20130519

  217. cicely says

    Perhaps a testimony to longstanding reading of Pharyngula, my morning-blurred eyes rendered it into ‘Only Tetrapods’.

    I’d watch that video!
    :D

    Pretty flowers, rq! Decorative Tulip is purple. I like that in a tulip. :)
    I like that in pretty much anything.
     
    Except Horses. Making Them purple doesn’t help.
     
    This year, I’m going to actually so something with/to the front flowerbed. Oh, not much; I can’t squat on a stool (and let’s all just ignore how that sounds, hmmm?) for very long at a time, and I’m not supposed to be getting too much sun, and besides, there are mosquitoes. Just a bit of removal of dandelions and suchlike, and installation of peppermint (with which I hope to annoy the damned ants) and marigolds (with which I hope to offend all the other pests).
    -

  218. David Marjanović says

    And a *big hug* with *chocolate* for David M., because why not.
    :D

    ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

    *munch* *munch*

    Pack horses carrying peas! I can ‘t imagine running from any lesser threat than that.

    Not even the sky falling on your head !!

    Then she kisses a woman at the end.

    …which got all of Eurovision banned in Turkey. It’s no longer allowed to be broadcast there.

    Perhaps a testimony to longstanding reading of Pharyngula, my morning-blurred eyes rendered it into ‘Only Tetrapods’.

    ♥ ♥ ♥

    PZ is at a Conference, I don’t think he has an auto-portcullis.

    He doesn’t. We can fill the page up and go beyond 1000 !!

    why yes, I have just recently watched the entire season, how could you tell?

    *pounce* The scene where Inara scolds the captain, making clear just how much she despises him, then goes into a room, closes the door, immediately collapses on the floor and cries: why does she cry? Sure, she had a thing for him earlier (which he never noticed), but the way she just took him down a notch didn’t sound like that at all – no hidden praise in her words, no secret admiration in her voice.

    When I watched that, I got sympathy without empathy. That’s a scary feeling.

    Does she perhaps cry about herself, feeling stupid that she ever fell for him in the first place?

    ex-mormon “caffiend.”

    …caffeind? The commenter over on Language Hat, thought to be a caffeine-providing demon in Linux?

    and was also coincidentally very, very hot.

    I’m curious. I can has rot13 plz?

  219. Ogvorbis, broken failure. says

    Portia:

    No, I haven’t watched Firefly.

    I should have recognized the joke from earlier usages here but, well, when I feel down, my judgement, my ability to grok humour in fullness, tends to be askew. And I tend to apologize too much. Sorry about that.

  220. yazikus says

    I should have recognized the joke from earlier usages here but

    @ Og
    On a positive note, there are probably a lot of people lurking (and commenting) who might not feel comfortable asking, but would like to know. So explanations go far beyond just the person who asked the question, and I would imagine they are much appreciated. =)

  221. Ogvorbis, broken failure. says

    On a positive note, there are probably a lot of people lurking (and commenting) who might not feel comfortable asking, but would like to know.

    Sorry. I was being self-centered.

  222. says

    Sorry. I was being self-centered.

    Not at all; there’s no fault in wanting to know things. It’s just that curiosity in public fora has side benefits: you get educated, and so do bystanders.

  223. says

    Well, I’ll be!

    T is fully moved out!
    I got a text in the middle of work saying that she picked up her dog and cats (I hope she manages to feed them and give them water on her own, since I was the one who did that primarily), as well as the last of her stuff. Sure enough, when I got home, everything was gone and the key was left.

    Oh, the end of the text said “thanks for everything”.
    A wee bit late.

  224. yazikus says

    Sorry. I was being self-centered.

    @Og, I am sorry if it came off as a chastisement! Not meant that way in the least.
    On a side note, I have the habit of apologizing to inanimate objects (usually furniture) when I bump into them. Haven’t broken the habit yet, and I’d like to think that in some way, the furniture feels just a little better knowing it is noticed =)

  225. carlie says

    The scene where Inara scolds the captain, making clear just how much she despises him, then goes into a room, closes the door, immediately collapses on the floor and cries: why does she cry? Sure, she had a thing for him earlier (which he never noticed), but the way she just took him down a notch didn’t sound like that at all – no hidden praise in her words, no secret admiration in her voice.
    [...]
    Does she perhaps cry about herself, feeling stupid that she ever fell for him in the first place?

    Her scolding was a cover-up. She’s really conflicted there – there can get to be a weird thing when two people like each other and kind of both know it but won’t admit it, where they kind of feel an ownership of each other even though there has been no agreement to such, so that they feel betrayed if the other person then does go and do something romantic with someone else. Then they feel stupidly guilty about it, because of course there is no reason for the other person to just sit chastely by because they’ve never even talked about liking each other. The feeling of being sad and betrayed and understanding at the same time that you have no right to is a really hard one to deal with, and makes you mad at yourself while you’re pitying yourself, and it’s an awful loop. And for Inara, that is an even stronger feeling of “I shouldn’t be upset about this”, because her whole job is having sex with other people who are not the Captain, and her friend’s job is having sex with people – her entire career is built on a very carefully constructed reality that sex doesn’t have anything to do with relationships. And yet, the fact that her friend did have sex with Mal makes her jealous, and that goes against what she believes about being a Companion. So there’s a lot of anger and frustration and jealousy and feeling rejected and feeling stupidly sentimental all rolled into that crying. And her friend knows what happens – she chastises Mal for letting her have sex with him knowing how Inara feels about him, because she knew what Inara would go through when she found out (and Mal’s response was to deny that he knew, but his look of discomfort goes back to that “we know but we pretend we don’t know” thing).

    rot13 on the Doctor Who: ur qbpgbe xvffrf evire, naq vg vf n irel cnffvbangr xvff, naq vg vf gur cbvag jurer, sbe zr ng yrnfg, vg orpbzrf pyrne gung lrf, ur qbrf ernyyl ybir ure. Hc hagvy gung cbvag vg hfhnyyl pnzr bss nf uvz gelvat gb uhzbe ure sbe gur fnxr bs xrrcvat ure nebhaq gb or hfrshy engure guna ernyyl pnevat nobhg ure.

  226. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    So, apparently my ex wasn’t drunk yesterday, she was stoned. I’m not sure what to do about this. >.>

  227. mildlymagnificent says

    Well done Tony!

    Azkyroth. I think the advice someone gave yesterday still holds. If you want to say or do something about this, see a lawyer first.

  228. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Any recommendations for one who works on Sundays?

  229. yazikus says

    @Ogvorbis, broken failure
    So I was thinking on it, and I wanted to apologize for using a familiar shortened version of your name when addressing you, without your consent. I’m embarrassed that I did, names are something that I am usually nitpicky about. When someone uses a diminutive of my name without permission, I know it puts me off. So my apologies. I think I came off as overly intimate, and therefore implying that I have more weight in what I say.

  230. yazikus says

    @Chigau

    Wholly Hell but the mosquitoes are bad tonight!!!

    I don’t live in a terrible mosquito place right now, but a few years ago I camped at a lake that was utterly infested with the biggest, meanest and most persistent mosquitoes I have ever seen. It is totes the worst. We (partner and I) had our hoodies up and were burning pine branch after pine branch over the fire, the spray didn’t work and our poor puppies were just suffering! I can still remember the sound and feeling of the mosquitoes hitting the sides of my hood, as we tried to play pinochle in the smokey dark night in the woods. Fairly traumatic.

  231. Ogvorbis, broken failure. says

    yazikus:

    You did nothing wrong. No need to apologize.

    My writing, and understanding, this evening, however. . . . Damn. Not good.

    Heading for bed.

  232. yazikus says

    @Ogvorbis

    Heading for bed.

    Hoping you have excellent dreams and restful sleep. Unicorns and rainbows, if that is what you like.

  233. chigau (違う) says

    I really should read all the comments and refresh.
    (but I note that I got 666 and 777 on this thread)
    (for what that’s worth)
    I wish PowerDreams for Ogvorbis.

  234. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Okay, so we all get street harassment, none of us -oops, I realize I was talking about women- well, we’re all familiar with the street harassment women get. Very rarely I’ll get something trans-harassing (for the most part I’m seen as cis). But today I got something that is ambiguous as to whether this was supposed to be trans-related or not (the misogyny is obvious).
    Worse, I usually have some ability to deflect in a way that is educational or at least forces the other person to realize how the words in question sound to me: today, I had nothing.

    The comment was,

    Are those tits functional?

    Really? Really??!!?? WTF does that even mean?

    I’m really disappointed in myself for how I handled it, and I’m furious at the person who said such a F’d up thing. I just don’t know what to think about this except: “Gaaah! Fuck You!” which is what I said.

  235. yazikus says

    Functional???
    What the hell?

    What does that even mean??? That is so out of line, and so weird. It is like walking into a restroom and asking a person whether they… no, it is not even. So wrong. I’m sorry you had to deal with a person asking a question like that.

  236. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    “No, as you can see they cross the x-axis twice.”

  237. chigau (違う) says

    I wish I could have stepped out from behind Crip Dyke and flapped my tiny, wizened old titties at the commenter and said, “I don’t know about hers but these were!”

  238. rq says

    Azkyroth
    I got your joke! :D :D :D And I even knew what was wrong with it!
    (Yeah, obscure proudness moment for remembering something about math.)

    Crip Dyke
    Considering the hugeness of the WTF moment (as someone said, what does functional even mean when it comes to boobies – they mostly just hang there, sometimes more decoratively than others, and manage to get in the way still other times, where’s the function*?), I think your response is about the best the brain can process on immediate request. Well come!
    *It’s kind of like Evolution having a Purpose…

  239. rq says

    Ichthyic
    Considering how breastfeeding is considered worse than porn in most public spaces, I doubt that was quite what they had in their (tiny) minds…

  240. Ragutis says

    Has the Kaitlyn Hunt case been brought up yet? Short version: early this school year, a 17 year old young woman and a 15 year old young woman started dating. They appear to have dated openly and both sets of parents were aware of the situation. Anyway, the 17 year old turned 18 and the 15 year old’s parents had her arrested and charged with “lewd and lascivious battery on a child 12 – 16″, a felony.

    http://www.examiner.com/article/florida-teen-fights-expulsion-and-criminal-charges-for-same-sex-relationship

    I have a feeling more than a few here might want to sign the petition: http://www.change.org/petitions/assistant-state-attorney-brian-workman-stop-the-prosecution-of-an-18-year-old-girl-in-a-same-sex-relationship

    I’m actually kind of surprised not to see a post from PZ, Greta or Ed about it yet.

  241. rq says

    Ragutis
    PZ, at least, is/was away at a conference, and yes, there was some mention of the case over the weekend. :)
    I’m pretty sure that, once he’s back, PZ will have a few words to say about a lot of things!

  242. rq says

    So I heard someone in the US won nearly $600 million. When’s the Lounge getting that new furniture? ;)

  243. mildlymagnificent says

    Yay, mr and mildly magnificent will be living together as of Wednesday and all day every day thereafter.

    And for the princely sum of $64 a week we will get 2 or 3 occupational therapy, 2 or 3 speech therapy and 2 or 3 physio visits a week as well as any cleaning we can’t cope with and any transport mr needs (which will mainly be whatever I can’t manage). And maybe a few items like small weights for arm/ upper body strengthening and the like. For 8 weeks certainly and 12 weeks possibly.

    By the end of that we’ll have been signed up with whatever/ appropriate/ local gym, pool, therapy, travel or other services we might need to be going on with. They may be more expensive – but he’ll probably need less of them by then.

    So. Yay!

  244. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    Hooray for the magnificents! I’m so glad that things are getting better.

  245. birgerjohansson says

    I recall a novel by Ron Goulart (“The Panchronicon Plot”, parody of SF) where a woman had camouflaged stunguns implanted in her breasts. They were very functional for getting past guards. Zzz-ap!

  246. birgerjohansson says

    Regarding T, you can send her some text messages reminding her to start a routine with feeding the pets. If she programs her cellphone to give a signal three times a day she will be less likely to forget.

    Ogvorbis, you may be slightly cracked like a fine piece of ancient porcelain but you are definitely not broken.

    Miscellaneous; May 17 was not only “Norwegians go crazy day” but also No to homophobia day. And “Videla, mass murderer & torturer dies” day.

    Saturday the Danish song won the Eurovision song contest. The Romanian singer had inherited his outfit from Dracula. The Swedish singer looked like a relative of Arnold Rimmer.
    On Sunday I rested. And got irritated by the heat.

  247. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist) says

    The Swedish singer Robin is, or was, a wrestler. Apparently his family is full of wrestlers and were disappointed in him when he gave it up for singing. The Australian commentator brought this up in a backstage interview and the singer asked if they wanted to see his moves. This led to the very pinnacle of entertainment in this year’s Eurovision: A Swedish singer hip-tossing an Australian host. I haven’t laughed that hard in ages.

  248. opposablethumbs says

    Thank you, Ragutis. Signed.

    Miscellaneous; May 17 was not only “Norwegians go crazy day” but also No to homophobia day. And “Videla, mass murderer & torturer dies” day.

    We were celebrating on Friday (well, not exactly, but … it’s a bit like the death of Pinochet; cheating the gaoler) but I didn’t realise we had other reasons to celebrate too :-)

  249. Nick Gotts (formerly KG) says

    opposablethumbs@806,

    Videla, I’m glad to say, died in prison. Oh, he was unrepentant, and I’ve no doubt it was a relatively comfortable prison, but it was a prison.

  250. Beatrice (looking for a happy thought) says

    Everything sucks
    Nothing particularly bad happened. Everything sucks all the time anyway, I just sometimes feel tentatively optimistic about it getting better…. not today, apparently.

  251. rq says

    Today is crappy. It is oppressively humid with no relief in sight, I still can’t find my brother’s USB even though he needed it back like 2 weeks ago and it’s not packed in anywhere because we used it here to try to fix the computer but I can’t find which Safe Spot it’s in, and my head hurts, and I have to drive in to town tonight because Husband doesn’t want to do it, and I can’t find my phone. Oh, and Middle Child refused to take a nap.
    I think that about covers it.
    If it would rain, a lot of the unwillingness to move would disappear.

  252. opposablethumbs says

    Nick, I know he died in prison – when I said cheating the gaoler, I just meant he should have stayed in there for a hell of a lot longer than he did. And still calling for another coup, practically to his dying breath.

    I realise now, of course, that the comparison with Pinochet was completely misleading and made it look like I thought Videla wasn’t inside (I was just casting around for some comparable reventado de remil – bueno, reverendo reventado de remierda who had died relatively recently, without thinking it through, and Pinochet was the first who sprang to mind)

  253. Parrowing says

    I’m sorry to those who are having a bad day, especially Beatrice and rq. *hugs* and *mug brownies*

    *

    FossilFishy, I got the email and will respond soon :)

    Also, your #805 had me so confused at first. When you said, “The Swedish singer Robin,” I thought you meant this Robyn instead of this one.

    Re: Eurovision: Your explanation of why you enjoy watching it is pretty much the same reason I enjoy watching it. Not having watched it while growing up (I first heard of it when I happened to travel to London during the 2006 final, when Finland won.), your description:

    Those moments of frisson were you can’t really believe that more than one person thought that was a good idea.

    are my feelings exactly.

    *

    Huh. I just found out that Kaitlyn Hunt is the daughter of my friend’s childhood friend. Cue moment of mindblowing.

  254. Parrowing says

    Also, two comments have displaced chigau, which is sad all on its own. Furthermore, how will I find those comments?! :( My need for completion has a sad.

    *

    One more thing (from me) about Eurovision- When the decision was made to have the competition in Malmö instead of Stockholm, I don’t think it was expected that next year’s competition would end up being only 20 minutes away by train. Hm.

  255. says

    Oh crap, you’re right. That means the media probably won’t let me ignore the competition next year. Danes always get obsessive whenever the world remembers that we exist.

  256. cicely says

    Mosquitoes are the personification of evil.
    That is all.

    Horses are the personification of Evil.
    Mosquitoes are merely Their servants.
     
    Their nasty, blood-sucking servants. Spontaneously spawned of pea patches.
     
    That is all.

    Yay, mr and mildly magnificent will be living together as of Wednesday and all day every day thereafter.

    Yay!
    *champagne & confetti*

    *hugs* for Beatrice; and of course Everything Sucks! It’s Monday (except in the Ogvorbisverse and other places that are Differently Calendared), and Mondays are Made Entirely of Suck and FAIL.
    And headaches. Nausea-making headaches.

    *hugs* for rq. In my experience, nothing gets lost faster and more thoroughly than those things that have been Put Somewhere Safe.
    -

  257. Parrowing says

    Thanks, chigau, but I remember those comments from my last read through. I think one of the new ones might be #486. Oh well. It will remain a mystery to me.