1. strangerinastrangeland says

    Of course this is true! In the TV show “Flipper” the boy who was the dolphin’s best friend was called Sandy. Sandy / Satan, can this similarity be coincidence?

    (I first thought of using all caps and more exclamation and question marks, but then I did not want to come across as crazy.) :-)

  2. angoratrilobite says

    But wouldn’t this explain why dolphins and orca are assholes to other animals? i’d be kind of bitchy too if I got left off the ark ’cause I was homely.

  3. blf says

    The mildly deranged penguin has just checked her notes. Whilst a bit hard to decipher do to her bad styluspenguinship and the clay tablets getting soaked before fully baked, she claims she told the nice Mr(s?) Noah — or more likely, one of their slaves — nothing about dolphins, but instead “donuts not peas”. Since she probably had her beak full of cheese at the time, it’s unsurprising there was some confusion. She also can’t remember if that was a lunch order or advice as to the rations.

  4. says

    Penguins: also Satan’s pawn, accepting the hell-gift of aquatic ability to escape God’s righteous genocide.

  5. ardipithecus says

    If dolphins were really the disciples of Satan, they would be on SCOTUS.

  6. Reginald Selkirk says

    I’m guessing satire, since it does acknowledge the reality of macroevolution.

  7. dianne says

    I’ve heard it said that dolphins are kind of assholes, but Satanic seems a little harsh.

  8. dianne says

    OTOH, if God left them to drown and Satan saved them by giving them a superpower, why shouldn’t they serve Satan? God=death, Satan=life and an ocean that isn’t full of humans to play in. The good guy is pretty obvious.

  9. Akira MacKenzie says

    Dolphins are the “frat boys of the seas.”

    I wouldn’t be surprised if we looked on the back of Brett Kavanaugh’s neck, you’ll find a blowhole.

  10. cag says

    Akira #11, if you look anywhere on Brett Kavanaugh, you’ll find an asshole,

  11. says

    dianne #8, Dolphins are pretty evil. I don’t ordinarily say this of non-human animals, but dolphins are high enough on the intelligence/self-realization curve that I really believe they know what they are doing and are OK with it.

  12. birgerjohansson says

    Is this some garbage the evangelical meme inventors have thrown into Internet? Are they suffeing from a brain disease that spreads by air?

  13. birgerjohansson says

    Loathsome land-dwelling monsters are still extant. Check Mar-a-lago. The males often have mushroom-shaped penises.

  14. nomdeplume says

    Well, god had already removed snake’s legs and made them eat dust, so I guess that piece of intelligent design was already taken…

  15. PaulBC says

    Walter Solomon@18 And a lot more recently than than that. I had to search for that link, but as I suspected, dolphin meat would have been acceptable as fish for Catholics to eat on Friday at one time (now Lenten Fridays, but I am pretty sure cetaceans no longer qualify).

  16. says

    What, making cute noises and jumping about for fish is “the Devil’s bidding?” Not even an occasional Morse-code message saying “I buried Paul” or “kill your parents” backwards?

    Puny devil.