Guess the crime!

Bruno Fernandes de Souza is a soccer player, and he is confident that he is not a bad guy. What crime do you think he committed to warrant a few years in prison?

In his first major interview since being released from prison, 32-year-old Bruno Fernandes de Souza said: “What happened, happened. I made a mistake, a serious one, but mistakes happens in life – I’m not a bad guy.”

Brazilian goalkeeper who ordered woman’s murder returns to football
“People tried to bury my dream because of one mistake, but I asked God for forgiveness, so I’m carrying on with my career, dude,” he said, according to the Guardian.

God forgave him, and he’s already landed a contract with a team. How bad can it be?

Answer below the fold.


The star goalkeeper was sentenced to 22 years in prison in 2013 for his involvement in the murder of former model Eliza Samudio. The two were engaged in a paternity dispute over a child they conceived in 2009, while Bruno was still married. When Samudio began demanding child support payments, a group of Bruno’s friends kidnapped the young woman, tortured her, and fed her dismembered body to Rottweilers.

Just a mistake. It can happen to anyone. Kidnap, torture-murder and chopping up the corpse of your child’s mother to feed to your dogs…just an unfortunate accident.

God forgave him, you can’t argue with that.


  1. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    umm, uh, shit, it says ” a group of Bruno’s friends kidnapped the young woman, etc”. Does that mean he was not involved in the actual incident, simply the motivation? That would justify his explanation of “I made a mistake” in talking about his dispute with his friends who decided to “solve it” for him.
    either way, *vomit*

  2. microraptor says

    slithey tove, it says he was convicted of ordering her murder, so presumably he actually asked them to “deal” with her.

  3. johnson catman says

    He was sentenced to 22 years in 2013, and he is out already? That must be some REALLY good behavior.

  4. euclide says

    Football (I’m not going to call it soccer) is a scary thing in Brazil.

    A few years ago, a referee stabbed a player, then the crowd entered the playfield and the referee was killed and beheaded.

    As for Bruno, the appeal process was to slow, and he was released pending trial.

    The “good” news is that the football club lost a lot of sponsor with this mad hiring.

  5. Gorogh, Lounging Peacromancer says

    Just when you think your view of humanity cannot sink any lower; thanks PZ. It is not only the fact that human beings can fortify themselves so against other people’s suffering… it’s that a multitude more do not give a shit if you order another human to be tortured and killed (for the pettiest of reasons no less). Every single fan, sponsor, team member who knows but does not speak out against this is despicable.

    I do not know how you folks keep going in this world. You have my highest respect.

  6. Holms says

    Yes, he’s a soccer player in the national team, in a soccer mad nation. That’s all the ‘good behaviour’ he needs.

  7. cartomancer says

    Seems somewhat distasteful to point this out when the story is such a horrible one, but you’ve accidentally pasted in a title line from the original article “Brazilian goalkeeper who ordered woman’s murder returns to football” in the quote before the fold. That rather takes the wind out of the “guess the crime” set-up with the answer below the fold.

  8. unclefrogy says

    While playing the various types of games may be fun and exiting and maybe even a good way to keep the body working for a long time, professional sports are disgusting and both pander to the negative aspects of humans but actively promote them, greed, aggression,, violence and self-aggrandizement. win at all costs, winning is everything.
    I did not have a clue what I would find “below the fold” but I knew I would not be surprised by much of anything no matter how extreme it might have be.
    uncle frogy

  9. gijoel says

    It would be karmic if he was fed to some dangerous carnivore, but I fear his toxic personality would kill the poor creature. So I’d rather he just spend the rest of life in prison.

  10. lee101 says

    Human nature hasn’t changed appreciably since the Roman Coliseum days. The Enlightenment was a statistical one-off, apparently. Regression to the mean.

  11. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @Chigau, #9.

    I briefly wondered the same thing, but let it go. When I read the same question from you, I decided to find out. After 30 min of looking, I couldn’t come up with anything. Maybe if I read Brazilian Portuguese, but it seems the English language sources I was using are either too obsessed with, “Oooh! Scandal” or too principled to publicly print anything about what’s happening with/to the child.

    On one hand, I’m kind of relieved the child isn’t being written about all over the world b/c dad’s a murderer. On the other hand, it’s another case of paying attention to murder and mayhem when we can’t be bothered to pay attention to the real needs of the people around us.

    I’m not sure how I feel about it – mostly good, but I wonder if there isn’t a leaden lining to that healthy cloud obscuring the child from public attention.

  12. Paul K says

    I read about this last week. He does not have custody, but is seeking it. Sorry, I cannot find the link right now to the article I read.

  13. vytautasjanaauskas says

    “I asked for gods forgiveness and he told me – lol no way, dude, fuck off, are you serious?” – said no one ever.

  14. lesofa says

    For those asking for more details…

    – The child is currently living with his grandmother (Eliza’s mother). Bruno wants full custody.

    – His 22 years sentence has not ended. He’s out of prison waiting for his appeal to be judged. In Brazil, a person can only be kept in jail after the final judicial decision (which usually means more than one trial). Other than that, the court can only keep him imprisoned if he is considered a danger to society or if he is hindering the investigation of the crime. Apparently, the courts here don’t consider torturing, murdering and feeding a woman to dogs as dangerous behaviors.

    – He has lots of fans. People are taking selfies with him everywhere. I’ve read somewhere that when he was released from jail, there was a fan wearing a dog mask, cheering. I think I hate my country.

    – At least the soccer team that hired him lost several sponsors.

  15. zibble says

    It’s sports. Not every sports fan is an amoral, tribalist, cruel, heartless, violent imbecile, but their market does skew in that direction.

  16. Saad says

    kidnapped the young woman, tortured her, and fed her dismembered body to Rottweilers

    That does sound like something God would forgive though.