Need dating advice: life in single’s ville

There’s a nice woman I casually dated a few times last year, we’ll call her Jill. The relationship didn’t go anywhere, not much spark, but she’s a very sweet intelligent and fun person and we’ve stayed friends. But another reason it didn’t go anywhere is she’s been hung up bad on another man for a couple of years, let’s call him Jack. This particular Jack is married, and he kept stringing Jill along telling her he couldn’t stand his wife and was going to get a divorce. Then he moved from Austin to Houston for work reasons, wife in tow. Jack finally did get a divorce, but he didn’t follow through on any plans with Jill, much to her heartbreak.

Jack’s is now dating another woman, but he still comes to Austin every few months and, when he does, sometimes he calls Jill. Often from a sixth street bar late at night. They crash together, Jill rekindles her hope this time, this night, all will be different and Jack will fall madly in love with her. Of course that never happens.

Some of Jill’s coworkers had a Memorial Day Weekend pool party and cookout this evening, she asked me if I would go with her as a friend so that she wouldn’t have to go alone. I was happy to do it. She texted me when to pick her up, where the party would be, etc., around noon this morning. I want to help her feel good so I dressed up nice and metro, new haircut, new pants because I’m now down to a svelte 30 inch waist! I text Jill I’m on my way right before 6 PM, arrive at her house, ring the doorbell and …. nothing. I called her cell but it rang twice and then went to voice mail.

I was worried I might have gotten my signals crossed, so after waiting fifteen minutes loitering at the doorstep like a thief casing a house, I went to the private home where the party was and told them I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to meet her there or not. They were totally cool, invited me in, I waited for a bit. But no Jill. I texted her several times and tried to call letting her know where I was, no responses. Eventually it felt awkward enough that I politely thanked them and left.

Finally, just before 9 PM, two and half hours after I was supposed to pick her up. I get a brief text saying Jack flew in unexpectedly and “he doesn’t feel like going to the party so we’re just gonna stay in.” That’s it. Now you guys and galls tell me, I understand Jill and I are friends, I understand matters of the heart take precedence, and she honestly and earnestly told me about the weird hold this guy has over her from the moment we first we went out.

But does that justify leaving me hanging like that? It was her idea to call me and ask me to go with her, not mine. Had she told me right up until this evening that her plans had changed, or even standing at the door when I went to pick her up, I would have been completely sympathetic. But she didn’t. I didn’t even rate a ten second text or phone call telling me not to show up. That’s dating life folks, doesn’t matter if you’re middle aged or in Middle School. People will use you, disregard you, keep you as a back up without telling you, and even often profess how special you are and what  a unique connection they have with you while they’re doing all that.

And lest anyone thing I’m singling out flaky women. When I go out with a new girl there are a lot of things I have to worry about, they might be scammers, suffering from borderline personality or extreme depression, almost all of them have psycho ex boyfriends stalking them, there may be a serious substance abuse issue, they might even be professional hustlers. But one of the things I don’t give a second though to is ending up tied in the basement being sodomized and strangled by a psycho serial killer. So don’t get the idea I think women are the sole problem here…

Nevertheless, this left me feeling pretty unimportant, worthless, like I wasn’t even a good enough friend to rate simple basic decency

TDS dismembers Peggy Noonan


I’ve written here and here about the embarrassment that is Peggy Noonan. Having Noonan and her ilk on any news show where information is purportedly on equal footing with entertainment, presented as an equal with highly informed qualified analysts is an out and out sop to the most ridiculous of specimen of wingnut grifter. In terms the non political can get their teeth into, it would be like having a prime time network round table dedicated to planetary science with New Horizon’s chief investigator Alan Stern, Kuiper Belt expert Mike Brown, Bad Astronomy blogger Phil Plait … and a known utterly discredited quack pitching books on Nibiru. That’s not even entirety an accurate analogy to the indignity of it. Add in that Stern, Brown, and Plait were forced by convention and network policy to take the quack’s points seriously and respond to the geyser of misinformation in a few seconds of soundbite, instead of pointing and laughing or questioning producers why this quack was allowed on at all. If you’re think I’m being too harsh, watch that video at the top, and keep in mind, that’s just a few highlights of Noonan’s serial duplicity

Tornado-genesis: A twist in the wind

There are few spectacles on earth more awe inspiring than a tornado over land or sea. If they seem unearthly, with all our modern science and perspective, imagine how they appeared to ancient people who might see or hear about a single such event in their lifetime! But tornadoes are a dramatic representation of one of the most common weather phenomenons on earth and throughout the cosmos as far as we can discern: the vortex. A tornado starts out way up in the clouds, concealed from sight, and that’s where its engine resides. The part we see is almost an afterthought. But it’s no afterthought if you’re in its way. That visible part can plow the ground and tear families apart.

It’s more than fascinating, it’s a serious, routine concern for a lot of Americans. The majority of tornadoes occur in North America and most of those hit in a region called tornado alley. As I write this, perched in the lower outskirts of that region, the sky overhead is a puke green, the clouds tumultuous, and the the air hangs heavy with moisture as thick as a rain forest. This is twister weather. Follow me below the fold to learn more about a typical tornado. [Read more…]

We don’t need no sinking regulations


Seattle KOMO News — The Interstate 5 bridge over the Skagit River collapsed Thursday evening, dropping three vehicles into the water and injuring at least three people.

Rescue crews in at least three boats were able to pull three people from the semi-submerged vehicles, which are tangled in the wreckage of the bridge. All three were taken taken to a local hospital and the extent of their injuries is not known. Nobody was killed in the collapse.

Bart Treece with the Washington State Department of Transportation was unsure when the bridge was last inspected. “All of our bridges in the area are pretty old,” he said.

The bridge is not considered structurally deficient but is listed as being “functionally obsolete” – a category meaning that their design is outdated, such as having narrow shoulders are low clearance underneath, according to a database compiled by the Federal Highway Administration.

The bridge was built in 1955 and has a sufficiency rating of 57.4 out of 100, according to federal records. That is well below the statewide average rating of 80, according to an Associated Press analysis of federal data, but 759 bridges in the state have a lower sufficiency score.

Pope gives atheism a nod

If you live long enough you will see miracles. Maybe that’s what this was, or it could have been a more down to earth outbreak of civility towards atheists from His Holiness:

Independent — Pope Francis has said that atheists should be seen as good people as long as they do good, in a move to urge people of all religions – or no religion at all – to get along.

The Catholic leader, who heads the 1.2 billion-strong Church, made his comments in the homily of his morning Mass in his residence, a daily event where he speaks without prepared comments. He told the story of a Catholic who asked a priest if even atheists could be redeemed by Jesus.

What others say about FTB

I just got a Windows upgrade and my PC is running like a top. Pages are opening like lightning. I hadn’t realized just how bad it had gotten, this old desktop dinosaur is loved, but it had become an obstacle between me and whatever webpage I tried to visit. I can feel pent up stress melting away. So, I have to write something and what better than what other webpages think about FTB? [Read more…]