The Foreign Reaction

As the news of a Donald Trump Presidency sinks in, I am watching my family, friends and colleagues react to the news. The first reaction was just a blanket shock all-round. No one actually believed it would happen. They joked about it, the could-you-imagined about it, they you-never-knowed about it, but no one actually truly thought it would happen. I was the one that gave the possibility of a Trump Presidency the most credence and even I didn’t think it was going to happen, I was playing more of a Devil’s Advocate than anything else. Then it did. There was a general nervous laughter, and then the true reactions started to come out.


The British could not contain a grin, as their insides were doing a jig for no longer being the dumbest country of 2016.

The Germans chuckled and patted me on the back, not having considered the implications for the EU just yet, and so allowing themselves a few hours of schadenfreude while they wait to see what it will mean for the world.

The Brazilians sighed a sigh of relief, hoping that Trump’s isolationist platform and general ignorance will mean that he will leave Brazil and the rest of South America the hell alone, I mean, does he even know that Brazil exists?

The Canadians posted this


The American expats are in hiding, not answering texts or phone calls, garbling incoherent rage when they do.

The anti-globalists from various countries shrugged, adopted a lets-wait-and-see attitude, and silently hoped that this will mean the end of the US’s stronghold over the EU and the global economy.

The Italians, always a hyper-political culture, bombarded me with questions about the American political system, and if the party can still kick him out after a few months of failure and replace him with someone else. When I informed them that in the States you elect a person, not a party, their faces fell and they ran to check the stock market. They then decided on having 2 shots today: one in commiseration, and one in silent, private celebration that we will no longer be eternally mocked about Berlusconi.

Speaking to the Berlusconi effect, my father commented that history has shown us that it all starts with an Italian clown. Mussolini gained power, then “Baffino” (translation: little mustache) came along and shit got real. Decades later Berlusconi gained power, and then Orange Cheeto came along, and shit got real.

Personally, I’m in salvage mode. I hope that this will be the thing to push the United States to the Revolution that it so desperately needs. Regardless of nationality or reaction, everyone has been asking me how did this happen? How could this happen? It’s not fair, if you’re rich, you can just do anything you want, even if you’re a loathsome human being? To which I replied YES HELLO where have you all been the past few decades??!! Progressives have been shouting about this for YEARS, including during this election, and you all scratched your asses and shrugged and called us privileged unwashed hippies who should just go home and shut up, can’t you see a black guy is President? How much more change and liberalism could you possibly, reasonably ask for? Would they have said the same thing if Hillary had won? Shut up, stop bothering us, what more do you want, we have a female President? Did it take the election of a rapey orange baboon to finally wake people up to what is happening?

Well now he is President, so let’s make that happen. Let his election be the catalyst that finally brings forth the change that is needed. It will require outrage and dedication on the part of the people: I think Bernie Sanders’ campaign proves that exists already. It will also require the DNC and the mainstream media to learn their lesson and acknowledge their desperate failure in clinging to a crumbling establishment. They wont do that willingly, or easily.

Let’s make them.


  1. Dunc says

    I though it was going to happen, to the extent that I made a GBP50 bet with a friend over a few beers, way back in Primary season, that if it came down to Trump v Clinton, Trump would win. I’ve been telling people to psychologically prepare themselves for President Trump for months.

    I am not happy about being right in this case.

  2. cartomancer says

    Trump seems very much a Berlusconi or Mussolini type character to me, though of course the political climate of the US in 2016 is very different from that of Italy in the 1920s or late 2000s. I’ve seen him compared with Marcus Licinius Crassus too, though the parallels aren’t all that great beyond both of them being unscrupulous property magnates who tried to leverage their money into political clout. There’s more than a whiff Cesare Borgia about him too.

    But on the subject of whether he can be kicked out after a couple of months – isn’t he in line to stand trial on suspicion of molesting an underage girl soon? And for numerous fraud charges? What happens if the President of the US is found guilty of such crimes? Surely impeachment at the very least? Not that it would be all great, because then Mike Pence would take over, but surely his credibility would be much weakened under those circumstances?

    Or perhaps, on the off chance, Trump simply can’t hack being President and steps down? He’s never had to live the life of a politician before, and he’s not getting any younger or developing a longer attention span. I think it’s not ridiculous to speculate that he might find the pressures of the role all too much, or the lack of autocratic power too frustrating. He might just get bored.

    And he is 70, and not exactly in the best of shape. It’s not impossible that he might die in office.

    • thoughtsofcrys says

      Sure, all of those things are technically possible (though I highly doubt he’ll step down willingly), but what I meant to say was the Republican Party can’t just fire him and replace him, which is possible in the Parliamentary system

  3. sonofrojblake says

    he is 70, and not exactly in the best of shape

    Citation needed. He doesn’t drink, has never smoked, and apparently doesn’t even drink coffee. He looks pretty fit for a seventy year old.

  4. cartomancer says

    He looks pretty fit for a seventy year old? He looks fat, puffy, tired and sluggish despite the mounds of orange paint and bad wig he uses to pretend he isn’t the wrong side of fifty. I’ve seen healthier looking Ebola victims.

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