Incredible Goals


I’m not a big fan of professional sports. Generally, that’s got nothing to do with the sports, themselves, since the professionals typically play at the highest level of the game. My disliking for professional sports has more to do with my feeling that the audience places itself in a weirdly supplicant role that makes me uncomfortable; they act as though they know and feel something about/for the athlete, in spite of the rather obvious fact that generally, they don’t.

The result of that is people who perform some kind of star transference and assume that because someone is good at kicking a ball into a net, or running and catching, that they are decent human beings. Sometimes. Sports like boxing fly right in the face of that – there the audience is lured into enjoying a deeply personal act of violence – again, there is transference but it’s overtly nasty.

When I do dig my head out of the sand and watch some professional sports, I have the advantage of not thinking I know anything about the team(s) or players – I can simply sit back and cheer for good play and not have any cognitive dissonance to worry about if “my” team turn out to be a bunch of horrible bastards. I suppose my strategy here is one of laziness: I can sometimes enjoy something great and otherwise ignore the nasty bits.

When the US Women’s football team won, yesterday, it was all over the news, and there were the usual dramatic pictures (professional sports also brings out the best in photographers) – but one caption caught my eye. Something about “the greatest soccer goals ever.” It hadn’t dawned on me that that’s even a thing, but I immediately realized it must be and punched in a few google searches and spent a while watching primates use various body parts to knock a ball into a wooden frame with a net around it.

So, that’s my personal favorite after watching a bunch of footage listed as “greatest soccer goal ever.”

You may need to watch it several times. The kicker knew that the other players were going to charge right at her, so she aimed the ball at the shin of one of the opposing runners and bounced it right into the goal. That shot won the world championship and made Homare Sawa a national hero.

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FIFA seems to be an execrable agency of parasites who have managed to position themselves as gatekeepers to the highest level gameplay – like the Olympic Committee, the Democratic/Republican Party, and others – it’s not hard to see how they immediately become corrupt: the only purpose for their existence is to organize corruption.

The question of how to fairly pay top-notch athletes is a complicated one. I feel it ought to be equal, obviously, but beyond that, what? Since they are basically selling advertising, like Google, maybe they ought to get paid for “eyeballs.”

Professional sports also seems to bring out some of the worst attitudes in terms of nationalism and crowd reaction. I have avoided attending pro sports, entirely, since a 7th grade class trip to sit in the bleachers at Baltimore’s Memorial Stadium and watch little figures performing incomprehensible actions down on the field below. I do find it interesting/fun to try to sort out what the rules of the game are, from their behavior. It’s a challenging and fun puzzle!

Comments

  1. Holms says

    It hadn’t dawned on me that that’s even a thing, but I immediately realized it must be and punched in a few google searches and spent a while watching primates use various body parts to knock a ball into a wooden frame with a net around it.

    Tut tut Marcus, the frame is metal! Noob!

  2. says

    Holms@#1:
    Tut tut Marcus, the frame is metal! Noob!

    Oh, that makes sense. I should have figured that out from the way the balls bounce off it and it doesn’t vibrate. Thanks!

  3. Rob Grigjanis says

    Holms @1: Usually true, but for historical reasons “hit the woodwork” is still used.

  4. Rob Grigjanis says

    That shot won the world championship

    No, it tied the game and took it to penalty shots. The US could still have won, but their first three penalties failed, with the Japanese goalie Kaihori saving two of them.

    As for “great goals”, Sawa’s was certainly massive in context; it tied the score in Japan’s most important game ever. But it was a “flick and hope it goes in” goal, and Sawa herself said she probably couldn’t do it again. It was also aided by poor American defending.

    A lot of the goals in a “best goals” list are often of this type, or speculative long shots which go in. Personally, I prefer goals like this one, which are down to the vision of the passer (Jill Scott), and the skill of the scorer (Fran Kirby). The “goal” following this was also brilliant, but disallowed for handball. A dodgy call, and damn VAR to hell for eternity…Of course, it was in a nothing game, which England lost anyway.

  5. says

    The question of how to fairly pay top-notch athletes is a complicated one.

    They could always go the US college route and make billions on the back of unpaid labour.

  6. starskeptic says

    To say that the ball was “aimed” at someone’s shin from that distance and that timing is really a stretch. The defender misread the trajectory of the ball and put it in her own net – that kind of thing happens all the time in Hockey…

  7. says

    Rob Grigjanis@#4:
    A lot of the goals in a “best goals” list are often of this type, or speculative long shots which go in. Personally, I prefer goals like this one, which are down to the vision of the passer (Jill Scott), and the skill of the scorer (Fran Kirby). The “goal” following this was also brilliant, but disallowed for handball.

    Yeah, I’ve got to agree – seeing good teamwork is a plus. There was one goal where Pele set the ball up perfectly for a teammate who seemed to come out of noplace and drill the ball; that was super impressive.

    Soccer seems like a really cool game; there’s a lot of strategy and tactics and it’s not simply an orgy of violence.

  8. John Morales says

    “Incredible”, eh? I personally give it credence.

    (Here, it means ‘credible’)

    Soccer seems like a really cool game; there’s a lot of strategy and tactics and it’s not simply an orgy of violence.

    Heh. That’s like saying gruel is a really nice food; there’s a lot of nutrients and fibre and it’s not simply an orgy of flavour.

    (You know of any team sport games that lack a lot of strategy and tactics?)

  9. dangerousbeans says

    @John Morales Rugby. No strategy and tactics, just two walls of heavily muscled people running into each other :P

    I agree that sports are kind of boring to watch, it can be interesting to see how others solve a problem but it’s generally more interesting to actually try to deal with the problem yourself. It doesn’t help that most sports are quite clean environments where a lot of effort has gone into calculating the viable strategies. Look at chess for the extreme example

  10. John Morales says

    dangerousbeans, heh. At least I can watch Rubgy, if I have to. Not like Gridiron, where 90% is setting up for the resulting few seconds of play, or soccer where there’s heaps of play but nothing much ever happens. So boring.

    (Me, I like Aussie Rules, if I have to watch team ballsports)

    [PS I had a quick look: “The first Women’s Rugby World Cup was held in 1991 and won by the United States.”]

    BTW, women’s AFL is a thing, now. Still not quite professional, with relaxed rules suitable for women, but it’s still a thing. Surprisingly popular.

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