If you knew where all the nuclear bunkers were, and all the targets were, you could plan ahead and be the first to leave your bones and bloody scratch-marks on the outside of the bunker door. Good plan!
My hat’s off to the spammers who sent me this – they are demonstrating the truth of Smedley Butler’s War is a Racket.
This is a serious topic, though. Don’t you wonder how many residents near Greenbrier resort [gb] knew that they were going to get the personal attention of several 1 megaton H-bombs, because of the bolt-hole that had been secretly built in their midst. Talk about “undesirable neighbors!”
First, we destroy everyone’s lives.
Then, we hide.
Then, we emerge to resume controlling you, as feudal lords.
I bet Musk is onto this, with his Boring company building a network of underground bunkers and tunnels so the rich never have to come up for air. Except of course if they want to fly to his Moon base or Mars for a holiday.
There is just something amazingly horrible about some people sitting around planning to destroy everyone and everything, and then ALSO planning how they are not going to die but will survive in their bunker. Because of course they are Very Important and it would just be Absolutely Devastating if _they_ died.
And yeah, if someone decides that bringing the nation to its knees would be accomplished by killing a bunch of cows and craploads of prairie dogs, I might need to worry about my county being bombed. Otherwise I think we’re good… although of course we could be hit by accident.
@kestrel:
They’ll miss you if they’re competent but don’t assume competence from governments (not ours, not theirs… not anyone’s, really*). It’s actually kind of fortunate. If these bozos were actually good at what they do they’d have killed us all off already. Then they’d have lorded it over each other for about 3 days underground, then they’d have turned on each other. Because they’d have forgotten something vital and ended up dying anyway. Like for instance, the halflife of everything radioactive outlasts the 2-3 years of starvation-diet-on-expired-canned-food they that seems to be a popular option. Or simple things like… Where do you get your water from? And what happens if that system breaks? Have to admit, the one good thing about being a contractor in the business of making those things is by the time anyone notices you’ve cut corners, they’re toast anyway.
* There are exceptions but they don’t often last because competence annoys all the incompetent ninnies in the same business.
Why do the illustrations of these bunker things never show toilets?
Can we trick them into their bunkers and then cut the comm lines and barricade the doors?
@ 4 chigau
Advanced water recycling and composting to support the agroponics.
I’m smack in the middle of strike land, nDakota is bristling with nukes.
I’ve thought that ethically we should be living four feet under ground due to the enormous impact on energy use and the ability to maintain wild landscape around us. This is not how I wanted to get there. But if survival from all but a direct nuclear blast is useful maybe I should consider selling the idea to the paranoid gun lovers. Is it worth the arms escalation towards bunker Buster’s? If the explosion stays under ground it might even be an environmental benefit. I’m not terribly concerned about my current government on a personal basis and an enemy would want to be precise.
When countries we want to bomb do this sort of thing, we accuse them of using the civilian population as human shields… Then bomb them anyway.
Dunc@#9:
When countries we want to bomb do this sort of thing, we accuse them of using the civilian population as human shields… Then bomb them anyway.
The entire idea of strategic nuclear arsenals is to use eachother’s civilian populations as chess-pieces to be exchanged in a great big slaughter to protect the kings.
Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach@#5:
Can we trick them into their bunkers and then cut the comm lines and barricade the doors?
That’s a preferred way for dealing with bunkers.
Here’s a depressing but true thing: the assholes who build bolt-hole fuhrerbunkers have figured out that we’ve figured that out and most of them have multiple hidden exits. So if someone sealed up the main entrance they’d just pop out some tunnel 1/4 mile away. The Greenbrier has several emergency exits that are documented; there are probably more.
chigau@#4:
Why do the illustrations of these bunker things never show toilets?
They’re embarrassed because the crappers aren’t gold.
kestrel@#2:
There is just something amazingly horrible about some people sitting around planning to destroy everyone and everything, and then ALSO planning how they are not going to die but will survive in their bunker. Because of course they are Very Important and it would just be Absolutely Devastating if _they_ died.
Back when I was in high school we played a lot of nuclear war games (a game called Ultimatum by Yaquinto) and had a lot of conversations about that sort of thing. The general consunsus – I’m not sure whose idea it was – was that both the US and USSR needed a treaty that said if a nuclear war was ever started, the US Secret Service and Russian equivalent would be required to immediately shoot the political leadership – President, VP, Congress, etc. Because they’d be guilty of the murder of millions.