Fucken Google Assholes

The Google Android search app is pretty cool, because you can just swipe up from the home button, and boom!: a search box opens, the cursor is in it, your most recent search strings are listed below if you want to just click to repeat one, and your default keyboard is open and ready for you to type in a new search string.

With the latest update, these Google motherfuckers have fucked the thing up. Now when you open the Google app by swiping up, it displays some stupid fucken bullshittio urging you to activate Google Now (some fucken “push” garbage that’s supposed to “help you”, by displaying crappe that Google thinks is “relevant” to you: i.e. to sell your eyeballs to advertisers), and in order to start your search, you have to click in the search box to get the cursor in there and open your keyboard.

I get that Google wants to exhaust you into activating this motherfucken Google Now shittio, by making it an extra pain in the ass to just do your search. But still, fucke you Google.

If you uninstall updates of the Google app, it goes back to previous behavior. And oh yeah, the fucken Google app loads up much faster, too, probably because it’s not connecting to this Google Now shittio.

(Yeah, yeah. We’re the product, not the customers. Whatever. Still fucke you.)


  1. DataWrangler says

    As I read on FtB somewhere else, if you don’t know what a company sells, it’s selling you.

  2. Trebuchet says

    What, you were given a choice of joining Google Now? For us, it just showed up, telling us where we were, where we were going, and how long it was going to take to get there. All correctly. Big Google is watching you.

  3. Dago Red says

    What ever happened to the ‘do no evil’ shit Google espoused?

    They learned from the Catholics that “evil” simply means “anything your company doesn’t endorse”. Incidentally, it’s the same definition for “Liberal” espoused by conservatives too.

  4. Nanani says

    Huh. I never realised what swiping up DID until I read this post.
    It had always asked me what application I wanted to use, and since I never did it on purpose I always cancelled out.

    Thanks for the information, Comradde

  5. Trebuchet says

    What ever happened to the ‘do no evil’ shit Google espoused?

    Ha Ha, good one! Wait were you serious? It’s a huge American corporation.

    Confession is good for the soul time: I try to tell myself that Google is less evil than Apple or Microsoft. Because they’ve got their hooks deeper into me.

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