Jeezus Punishes The Cross Pointe Free Will Baptist Church With Botulism

I wonder what these fuckers did to pisse offe godde? Anyway, they must have deserved it, right? Godde’s will, right?

Down from an earlier estimate, Kennedy said there were 18 suspected cases, including the woman who died. The youngest patient is 9 years old; the oldest is 87. Twenty-one people are under hospital observation as a precaution, the spokesman said.

Five patients are in critical condition and 10 were taken to hospitals in Columbus, according to Fairfield Medical Center in Lancaster.


  1. Lithified Detritus says

    Deviled eggs were the high point of church potlucks for me. I guess I was just lucky.

  2. says

    @Lithium Detritus#2: This was in Minnesota. The egg salads were usually squished eggs with canned mayonnaise. Just kill me now.

    I was always an atheist but if I had any faith, church social pot-lucks would have obliterated it. No loving god would let people mix Durkees’ frozen fried onions and cheez-wiz as a topping for macaroni and cheese. No way. In fact I am amazed such a food evolved at all.

  3. =8)-DX says

    Nah, godde is an right pissed offe bugger who smites left an right even without encouragement.

  4. hexidecima says

    tsk, all of them good Christians going to the hospital and thwarting their god’s will. Where is the healing from their elders that “James” promises? where are all of those True Christians who can heal the sick?

  5. Donnie says

    I suspect that someone brought to the potluck their home canned special food. I never, ever, can my own food. and I never eat anyone else’s home canned food. Home canning is too dangerous, for me.

  6. Trebuchet says

    I wonder what these fuckers did to pisse offe godde? Anyway, they must have deserved it, right? Godde’s will, right?

    Godde is known to have terrible aim. Someone three states over probably got gay married.

    The PROPER use of botulism is, of course, injecting it in your face like Jenny McCarthy.

  7. tecolata says

    I’ve been doing canning for many years and obviously have not died yet. But then, I believe in science. That means knowing what temperature is needed to kill botulism (only pressure canner will do) and what foods have enough sugar, salt, or acid to be safely canned in boiling water (jam, pickles, tomatoes with added citric acid). And that the food needs to be boiling hot and jars & lids boiled prior to canning. If I thought a god would take care of me, I might perhaps be more careless.

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