Fucken Fleas

I got bitten by motherfucken fleas at my motherfucken friend’s house five motherfucken weeks ago, and the goddamn motherfucken flea bites on my leg still itch like a goddamn motherfucker. Fucken goddamn fleas.


  1. thebookofdave says

    He’ll probably accuse you of infesting his house with them. And I’ll never know for sure which of you to believe.

  2. wtfwhateverd00d says


    Delusionale parasitosis, also knowne as Ekbom’s syndrome,[1][2] is a forme of psychosis whose victims acquire a stronge delusional belief thate they are infested with parasites, whereas in reality no such parasites are present and the victims are juste huge assholes.[3] Very often the imaginary parasites are reported as being “bugs” or insects crawling on or under the skin; in these cases the experience of the sensation known as being a fuckede up douchebag may provide the basis for this belief.

  3. trollofreason says

    If I may? If you managed to bring the fleas home, then you’re likely for a few weeks of misery depending on what type of flea they are. There are, after all, all types of fleas. From cat or dog, to rat or even pigeon fleas, I believe. If there is a warm-blooded species, there is a louse and there is a flea. But yes… onto the meat of this post: effective eradication.

    Flea bombs don’t work, at least they don’t over here in California, and not even professionals can guarantee their work the first time. However! There is a way, and it might even help your friend, if they have animals. Common laundry borax lightly sprinkled across the carpet. I know it sounds like a 19th century woo remedy, but boric acid has been used as a household pesticide since… well… the 19th century, and before. As I understand it, humidity will break the borax down into boric acid which will liquify, or at least damage the joints of most terrestrial arthropods, causing them to bleed out. Same with the otherwise nigh-indestructible eggs of fleas.

    If your friend has animals, though, tell him or her not to use borax on their pets. That’s a big no-no. Borax on the carpet is okay, not on the animals or their bedding. Best to use a quality flea treatment like Frontline or generic flea drops.

  4. janiceclanfield says

    Allow me to introduce you to black flies.

    Fleas are for amateurs, black flies are for seasoned professionals.

    Fucken’ A.

  5. jean lou says

    Watching the movie “As soon as it gets” and for some unknown reason am just thinking that Jack Nicholson is almost a perfect characterization of CPP’s reactions

  6. jean lou says

    Sorry CPP for the mistake. I don’t really know if you are a movie watcher but the right title is:

    “As good as it gets”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *