You Can’t Make This Shitte Uppe

A drunk motherfucker crashed his motorized wheelchair into an irrigation ditch and was drowning face down in six inches of water when an adult softball douche hunting for a home-run ball stumbled onto the drunk motherfucker and pulled him out of the water, saving his motherfucken life. And the fucken cops cited the drunke motherfucker for public intoxication.


  1. Kate from Iowa says

    If they’d caught up to the guy in the chair while it was still mobile, they could have cited him for DUI. At least here in Iowa. I’m pretty sure it’s the law in a few other states as well.

  2. Acolyte of Sagan says

    Considering the fact that irrigation ditches are generally used to irrigate food crops, and given that motorised wheelchairs are powered by batteries that can leak some nasty shite when dunked into water, I’d have charged the drunk with either endangering public health by polluting the water-course too.

  3. wtfwhateverd00d says

    Why is the adult softball douche a douche?

    It seems probable he is far less likely to be a douche than youe.

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