How To Not Be A Fucken Egregious Douche At A Bar

When you and your pathetic douchebagge friend are sitting with your bar stools spread way far apart and facing one another catty corner and some poor thirsty fucker comes in and sits down beside you and is being squeezed the fucke out because the two of you are taking up enough space for four fucken people, you courteously move the motherfucke over and make room like a decent goddamn human being and not like the disgusting piece of shitte that you actually are.


  1. other dave says

    Agreed!, well any way, so I told your mom that, and she just lifted up one cheek, farted, and told me fucke right offe!

  2. Usernames are smart says

    Ahh, the bar. I haven’t been in ages.

    Maybe it is because I prefer to buy microbrew at reasonable prices. And not have to squeeze in between two smelly douches to enjoy it.

  3. says

    Did you think to ask the thoughtless space hogs to slide their chairs together and make room? If so and they still didn’t move, “egregious douche” applies and you signal the bartender.

  4. blindrobin says

    Proper etiquette demands that one approach the bar directly between the two wankers and signal to the barman that you would like service. What happens after that is in the category of ‘entertainment’ and is mostly predictable and varies in kind with the district in which the establishment is found.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *