Fucken Goddamn iPad Is A Goddamn Motherfucken Toy

This fucken piece of shitte doesn’t have any general method for dealing with documents other than photos and videos, such as attaching them to e-mails or uploading them via Web forms. These fucken iPad designers obviously are targeting this fucken thinge to goddamn motherfucken teenagers for sexting each other their pimply asses and to goddamn motherfucken parents for harrassing the Internet with pictures and movies of their hideous children, and not to real adults to use for doing any real work.


  1. says

    Sure you can do all that. I do it all the time. (no, not the sexting — the editing and sending of documents).

    Are you using pages or any of the other standard apps? They all have options to email/upload stuff.

  2. Compuholic says

    Tables are great for the for mobile internet access and that is about it. Their main purpose seems to be to make the user look cool. I would not even want to type any email longer than “I’ll take care of it…” on their annoying touchscreen.

    Tablets are utterly useless for any real work. They are indeed just an expensive toy for people who get bored when they are travelling.

  3. unbound says

    iPad is designed around simple tasks such as surfing, watching videos, texting, basic e-mails, but it is perfectly capable of doing serious work. I was given an iPad (I wouldn’t buy one myself, they are *way* overpriced for what they do), and accomplish a significant amount of my work with it.

    My first recommendation if you want to use it for work is to pick up the Logitech iPad keyboard…especially if you are like me (I touch type at about 70 wpm). The other recommendation is to start looking at the store and getting apps. The default mail app works well for my work e-mails, but I’ve found (for example) that the gmail app is better for dealing with my gmail accounts. The same goes for doing anything serious with documents…look for an app to deal with it.

    You can get a lot of great apps for free, but if you are going to do serious work, you’ll have to buy a few apps.

  4. Ken says

    Don’t worry. This whole “Personal Computer” thing is just a fad.

    Sent from my Teletype Model 33

  5. jaranath says

    I am able to do serious writing with Pages and my Adonit Writer keyboard, and I enjoy the tablet’s advantages with the apps I use. It does exactly what I wanted it to: Serve as a light, compact, go-anywhere basic Internet-and-word-processing appliance plus iOS app toy. I carry it everywhere in my bag.

    That being said, it is NO MORE than that. If I wanted even slightly more “business” functionality I’d have bitten the bullet and gotten an Air or small laptop.

    As for the file issue, as others have said, that is handled in-app. iOS doesn’t have a centralized file browser or manager like Finder or Explorer, but it still lets you do those things easily enough.

  6. anthrosciguy says

    I have to add my voice to others and ask why on earth did you get this thing? None of these complaints are things you wouldn’t know by doing a little online checking before buying. You could, and should, see if it will do what you want of it before you go to the trouble of getting one.

  7. janeymack says

    I love mine–and I have the cheapest version of the original iPad. I have a laptop also (and you can have it when you pry it off my cold, dead lap), but having gone for periods of time with the iPad as my only internet/ computing option, I can do almost everything I need with it. There are apps intended to improve “productivity”–obviously, ymmv depending on what you need to do, but there are a wide range of options for doing all kinds of things, if you take the time to look.

    That said, when the iPad came out, it was mentioned that it seemed designed to “consume content” rather than “productivity.” I find it works for both; the main downside for me is that I can’t type very fast on the touchscreen keyboard–oh, for my lovely extended Apple keyboard back!–but there are inexpensive add-on keyboards if that is major issue.

  8. sugarfrosted says

    I had a 7 inch tablet. I found a real use for it. I would use it to read textbooks, since textbooks are often ridiculously heavy. I actually hurt myself carrying them. I think because you couldn’t find a use for it and couldn’t handle a fucking (or “fucken” as you put it) touch screen is hardly a reason to call it a toy.

  9. iGrrrl says

    Having nothing to do with the iPad: It’s amusing and surprising that the ad served for me on the upper left, under “Advertise on FTB” was for a Christian Singles dating site. Definitely a product of my physical location in the bible belt atm.

    Having to do with the iPad: I seem to be one of the few people who doesn’t want one. I could not do what I have to do with its limited functionality.

  10. Harsh But True says

    Throw that fuckker away and get a Nexus 7 ($199 from the google store). You can copy any kind of files to and from it exactly like a thumbdrive, even if you don’t first install a fuckkin app that says it knows what its good for. You can also do it without a cable to any device that speaks actual Bluetooth, instead of having a deliberately crippled version that only talks with headphones or keyboards.
    You have a choice of free browsers instead of being stuck with only one — and one that still can’t word wrap HTML when you zoom the font up big so you have to slide the fuckkin page back and forth like an idjit (I know! in fuckkin 2012! and thats what HTML was fuckkin built for!)
    You can read ebooks in any format with a variety of free readers for LIT or PDF or EPUB or whatever new format comes out next month, instead of having to make a separate copy for each app that you send it to or dealing with some fuckkin hellspawn EPUB + DRM format renamed with an i in front of it.
    You can back it up by just copying all the files somewhere since its all just on a fuckkin thumbdrive anyway.
    It also won’t mysteriously put the screen to sleep when you’re reading something, which is fuckkin nice let me tell you.
    And you can buy a nice pair of shoes with the difference in price.

    You can’t get the little cover with the magnet that makes it sleep when you close it though cause they fuckkin patented that fuckker, but you can download a little free widget thingie that lets you tap a dot on the screen, so fuckke it.

  11. Grumble says

    Work? Using an ipadde? AAAAAAAAHHHHahahahahahaha! Oh, that’s a good one.

    No one works with a fucking iPad. People brows the internet, check e-mail, play stupid games, read books, text each other, update their Facebook pages, take stupid picture of their dogs, post stupid pictures online, watch movies and dumb-ass downloadable TV shows, place orders for ipad accessories like $30 gizmos that let you read SD cards (but ONLY the pictures, NOT any other kind of file – WHAT THE FUCK???)… but work? Give me a break. If I tried to write grants exclusively on the iPad, my lab would collapse from lack of funding in 5 minutes. If I tried to do a fucking t-test using an iPad (much less any other kind of analysis), my contribution to scientific advancement would dwindle to zero. My 2005-vintage laptop is FAR more useful for ANY kind of work.

    In my household, the childe is the only one who has any use whatsoever for the ipad. It seems to have replaced the Nintendo as the favored game console. Bloody expensive toy is what it is. At least it was mostly paid for by grandparents. I wouldn’t waste my money on an Apple ANYTHING, and I really don’t understand why CPP did either. Must have been a gift.

  12. wilsim says

    Nexus 7 – can wipe google clean off that slate and install Ubuntu 11.whatever and run the Unity UI, if you want to.

    I am no fanboy by any stretch, but, as I wrote in the other thread, I prefer Android just for the openness of the format, I’m talking about cables, sd cards, communication protocols, and connections between devices.

    Apple has always, always, locked down the hardware they sell, making it as idiot proof as they can and in that process take away most of the work or customization that the machine would actually be capable of.

    I had no idea about the Ipad apps. You seriously have to (pay?) for a file browser? For limited bluetooth connect-ability? To read, access, or copy for an SD card? Ugh. No thanks.

  13. says

    Three words: keyboard, Dropbox, Docs-to-Go (or equivalent). You really can write on the iPad, but I’m guessing it wouldn’t be great for science writing.

  14. Grumble says

    Dropbox? WTF? What if I don’t WANT to use dropbox, and prefer using a thumb drive? Such a stooopid thing like a USB port: every other tablet has it just for the sheer joyous convenience of it – but the Apple approach is that THEY tell YOU what is convenient and what is not. You know what? Fuck them. Only someone who is interested solely in entertainment would buy a piece of crappe like that. If you have to go through absurd (and expensive) contortions to get it to be useful for work, then it’s not meant for work.

    Please: what is the real benefit of putting your fingers all over the screen, rather than using a mouse? It’s of course easier to use your fingers, and not have a keyboard physically in the way, when you’re lounging around on the couch, browsing the web or whatever. But who WORKS that way? The only thing I do on the couch that’s remotely related to work is read papers – and I hardly need a $600 tablet to do that.

  15. Shplane, Spess Alium says

    @Grumble: Honestly, I don’t even see how it’s “easier”. It is, technically, slightly less energy expenditure to move your finger than to move a mouse, but then you have to deal with a touchscreen that can barely tell what you’re trying to touch or pretends that the button is on a different part of the screen or is just hard to use effectively because it gives no physical feedback as a guide. Buttons>>>>>>>touchscreen, until they invent a cheap touchscreen that can raise the parts you’re supposed to touch.

  16. nightshadequeen says

    Jailbreak it?

    It’s not like it could get much worse, right?

    (that said: I manage to vim on my phone :D)


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