PhD Dissertation Acknowledgments

I would like to especially thank Professor blah blah for her guidance and for inspiring me with her deep love of science. I would also like to thank her for her forbearance and understanding during some of the more difficult periods of my tenure in her lab. I also thank all the other members of the lab, both past and present, for their collegiality and friendship, including, but not limited to, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, motherfucker mcnutsacke, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, and the many undergraduates, especially blah blah. I thank drugaddicted fucknutsky technician and weed connection for his help with photography and, more importantly, for his friendship.

I thank Professors Nobel Prize, blah blah, and tragic suicide, for many discussions and much encouragement. I particularly thank Professor wealthy scion for his patient understanding. I also thank all the members of the Department of Biofargnological Sciences, all its students, postdoctoral fellows, professors, technicians, and staff of the business and academic offices, as well as the stockroom.

I wish to thank my parents and brother for all of their love and support, and PhysioGirlfriend for her love and friendship. I thank also awesome therapist, for deep empathy and understanding.

This dissertation is dedicated to my grandfather, Charismatic Compulsive Gambler who paid attention to me to gratify his own ego, without whose influence I am certain it would never have existed.

The Worst Thing In The World

Cliff Pervocracy just published an interesting post on the concept of “The Worst Thing In The World”–TWTITW–and how what you think is TWTITW is never TWTITW. And it immediately reminded of something very intensely.

One of the most vivid TWTITW experiences I have had in my life was being in downtown NYC on 9/11. And once the towers came down, I and kajillions of other people were walking away from downtown in various directions in a state of shock and feeling like TWTITW had just happened. And I remember very clearly, I went into a bank ATM lobby to get some cash, and was afraid that the whole world had ended and there was no longer any such thing as money. So the machine gave my money, and there was a woman in there who also got some money. And we both finished at roughly the same time, and I reached the door just before her, and so I walked through the door and then held open the door for her. And as she walked through, we made eye contact, and it was very vividly apparent that we were both thinking, “Hey. It may seem like the world just ended, but we just had a human interaction based on the concept of courtesy. So maybe the world hasn’t ended.”


After Academe has an interesting poste uppe about “finding your passion” or whatever.

The relevant kind of passion is the slow burn that keeps you calmly going about your business pursuing your goals on a daily basis for years or decades, and is rare. People who yap excitedly at cocktail parties about how passionate they are about their important goals are a dime a dozen, and tend not to make sustained progress actually achieving them.


That was the most intense emotional roller coaster of a Yankee game ever.

BTW, how fucking pathetic do the people who left the Stadium when the As took a 9-5 lead feel right now? This is why you *never* leave any game of any sport *ever* until it is officially over.

Job Opportunities

A career opportunity has presented itself that would allow me to leverage many of my skills and talents developed and nurtured over the years as a scientist to do something that sounds really fun and awesome. But it would likely be extremely difficult–yet perhaps not impossible–to pursue this opportunity without permanently leaving–or at least taking a leave of absence–from my tenured faculty position.

I have been a PI in academic science for a pretty long time. I know what I’m doing, I’m good at it, and there aren’t really any surprises in store (other than the scientific ones, of course). This potential position would a complete departure into uncharted territory. I am both anxious and excited about the possibility.