Twittering Web Douche Gets Hacked, Likely Learns Wrong Lessons


Some twittering Web douche just got his whole meta-linked cloud-based hardware and data shitte hacked.

(1) What kind of fucked uppe system allows an entire goddamn motherfucken laptop to be wiped remotely from the Internet?

(2) Yeah, I’ll totally be “linking” all my fucken hardware shitte together and giving the keys to the whole fucken shebang to some goddamn fucken corporation.

(3) Yeah, I’ll totally be putting all my important data files on the goddamn motherfucken “cloud” under the sole control of some goddamn fucken corporation.

(4) The only reason this motherfucker isn’t still just sitting in his living room with his dicke in his hande trying fruitlessly to get someone to help him is that he is apparently some kind of prominent Web douche.

Comments

  1. sqlrob says

    (1) is actually a feature. Your laptop gets stolen out of the seat of the car, you want all your financial information in the thieves hands?

  2. says

    Yeah, being able to wipe remotely is an important feature if you have any financial info on the device. Apple however owes this guy a serious apology and needs to retrain it’s tech support since they gave a 3rd party access to the account based on a phone call.

  3. Trebuchet says

    So the hacker got in (see updates on the link) by calling Apple tech support and tricking them into thinking he was the victim. While I agree linking all that stuff together may not have been a good move, there’s plenty of blame to go around.

    I’m even less happy now about the new Android phones which REQUIRED us to get a G-mail account before we could so much as download an app. But maybe a little happier that we didn’t go with Apple.

  4. Brad says

    @3 nothing’s requiring you to actually use that gmail account for anything else.

    Apple certainly fucked up, and this demonstrates why offline backups are still important.

  5. says

    I’m even less happy now about the new Android phones which REQUIRED us to get a G-mail account before we could so much as download an app. But maybe a little happier that we didn’t go with Apple.

    From the market, yeah. But you can download apps from sources that aren’t Google Play. >_>

    That’s the nice thing about open source.

    This entire situation is why I have zero trust in “the cloud”.

  6. physioprof says

    If you are worried about someone getting their hands on your sensitive personal information, the answer isn’t to give some blundering asshole corporation who couldn’t care fucken less about you the power to wipe your computer via the Internet. The answer is to encrypt your shitte.

  7. says

    Your laptop gets stolen out of the seat of the car, you want all your financial information in the thieves hands?

    What, you don’t use something like truecrypt to build an encrypted volume? It takes maybe 2 seconds to unlock the file system before I’m going to use it – 2 seconds that I’ll gladly pay, especially since I have had a laptop “disappear” going through customs. I hope they enjoyed the 2 Gb of white noise. :)

  8. Shplane says

    This is obviously fake. Everyone knows that Apple products don’t actually contain any real electronics and are just cases for smug hipsters to carry around.

  9. blindrobin says

    Call me overly suspicious but I have always had a problem with people, most especially those of the corporate ilk, that utter(in various ways)the phrase “trust me”. I will handle my own information security thank you very much.

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