three pound boneless trimmed beef shoulder (also called “clod”)
three dried ancho chiles
three dried chipotle chiles
two dried anaheim chiles
two dried california chiles
two dried guajillo chiles
three long red chiles (dunno what they’re called but they’re not real hot)
one habanero chile
fucketonne of garlic
one tsp coriander
one tsp oregano
one tsp paprika
one tsp cumin
two bay leaves
some fresh-grated nutmeg
fresh-ground black pepper
two cups veal stock
one cup dry white wine
quarter cup Templeton’s rye
two teaspoons sugar
four medium tomatoes
one half medium white onion
three long green chiles (these are the same as the red ones only before they ripen to red)
fresh corn tortillas (from here)
Here’s the chiles for the braising liquid.
Stem and seed them and reconstitute the dried ones by steeping for one half hour in boiled water after turning the heat off.
Blending the motherloving fucke out of the reconstituted chiles, the fresh chiles, a fucketonne of garlic cloves (I used fourteen decent-sized cloves), a pinch of salt, the juice of one lime, and one cup of the chile steeping liquid.
Herbs and spices.
Make the braising liquid by adding the stock, rye, wine, herbs/spices, sugar, and fuckeblended chile sauce to your pot.
Bring the shitte to a boil.
Check out this beautiful fucken beef shoulder.
Put the fucker in the braising pot, cover, and turn down the heat to a low simmer. Stir/baste/turn every half hour or so while it braises, salting to taste after it has cooked for about an hour (be really careful with salt, as you are going to reduce the shitte out of the braising liquid later). It will take a long time (4+ hours), so patiently braise the fucke out of it until it is just about falling apart and is tender all the way through.
These are the ingredients for the pico di gallo. Make this shitte well ahead of the beef being done and put in the fridge, as the flavors really meld together nicely with time.
Dice the tomatoes and half the onion; seed, stem, and dice the chiles; chop some cilantro. Sprinkle on a little salt and black pepper and then mix it together.
The fucker’s done!
Take the meat out, turn up the heat a lot, and start reducing the shitte out of the braising liquid, while you break up the meat. There is likely to be a core piece of gelatinous connective tissue (see left) that you won’t want to eat.
Reduce the shitte out of the braising liquid until it is getting nice and thick, and adjust the salt if needed.
Add the shredded meat back to the sauce, stir well to incorporate, and turn off the heat. If you let the shitte rest overnight in the fridge, the meat soaks up more and more of the sauce, and it’s even better the next day. Not surprisingly, I got no fucken patience for that!
Warm the tortillas, first put on some cabbage, and then dollop the meat.
Garnish the fucke out of it and EAT!