Morel Risotto (Vegetarian!)

four half-ounce packs of dried morels (or one pound fresh)
one half medium white onion, diced
fresh-ground black pepper
two cups vialone nano rice
fresh oregano leaves, finely chopped
fresh thyme leaves, finely chopped
fresh basil, finely chopped
olive oil
one cup dry white wine
one cup grated parmigiano reggiano (plus more for grating on top)

Bring about four cups of water to a boil, turn off the heat, and put the dried morels in the pot. Cover and allow to steep and rehydrate for about a half hour, stirring occasionally to make sure the morels fully submerge. Strain out the liquid through a cheese cloth, bring up to about five cups total, salt to taste, cover, and bring to a simmer. This is the risotto broth.

Discard the cheese cloth, dump the morels in the strainer and rinse extremely well with cold water. This is really important, as the reconstituted morels will have gritty shitte in them that is disgusting if you don’t get rid of itte. Then, cut the morels into halves or thirds (depending on the size of each one), put back in the strainer, and continue to rinse extremely well with cold water to get every last but of gritty shitte outte.

Sautee the onion, thyme, and oregano (about one tablespoon of each) with fresh-ground black pepper until the onion is fully translucent.

Add the morels to the pan and continue to sautee until they have reduced in size and firmed up and cooked through to a proper texture.

Add the rice and continue to sautee, until the rice is fully coated with oil and is smelling nice and toasty.

Deglaze with the white wine, and cook until the alcohol is gone.

Cook in the usual way by ladling in the simmering morel broth and cooking with stirring. It is good to allow the rice to kind of cook onto the bottom of the pan and then scrape it off, as you proceed with the cooking. This breaks down some of the kernels and releases starch into the broth to thicken it up.

When the rice is not quite done, and still has a substantial crunchy bit in the center of each grain, turn off the heat, add another ladle of broth and the cheese, stir well to incorporate, and cover for five minutes to rest.

After it has rested, you can add another ladle or so of hot broth, if you want to loosen it up further, and salt to taste.

Plate, grate, sprinkle, and eat!


Since itte’s been a while since I’ve mentioned my thoughts on twitter:

Twitter suckes complete fucken asse. I’d rather hammer a thousand nails through my dicke, pour gasoline on itte, and light the motherfucker on fire than engage with motherfucken twitter and the gibbering assholes yammering endlessly there in illiterate ejaculations and rushing around like fucken lemmings with their goddamn stupid “hashetagges” and other absurd thought-destroying nonsense.

Why Blogge?

Nicole and Maggie today raise the perennial–but still quite interesting–question of why one would choose to blogge.

I started bloggeing because I was steadily commenting on some academic science and political blogges starting in 2007, and three things happened. First, DrugMonkey asked me to become a co-blogger on his WordPress blogge, and in order to do so, I had to sign up for a WordPress account. Second, Driftglass lifted one of my comments to his blogge and published it as a post. Third, Driftglass and his commenters hectored me to start bloggeing on my own–pushing me out of the nest, as they put it. Since I already had signed up for a WordPress blogge, I just started bloggeing on it.

I keep bloggeing because I am a performer at heart, and I love having an influence on what people think and do. I also love mentoring, and from an academia/science standpoint, a lot of my bloggeing and commenting is of a mentoring nature. I even enjoy it immensely when dumshittes come to my blogge and leave comments telling me how much it suckes complete total asse and is a disgrace to bloggeing or whatever–like these recent dumshittes–because despite their protestations, it means I’m inside their heads.


Profgrrrrl shared a dream she had the other night. It is pretty fun to hear about other people’s dreams, so here is one of mine that I had this week:

I dreamt that I was a king and I was putting on these giant king earrings and finger rings before meeting with my subjects. They were hugeasse earrings with colored gems, and they were so huge that my attendants had to help me put them in my ears.

Feel free to weigh in with your recent dreams in the comments.