Stuffed Manicotti (Vegetarian)

fourteen manicotti
two cups ricotta
one cup grated mozzarella
half-cup grated hard cheese (pecorino moliterno and/or parmigiano reggiano)
major fuckeloade of fresh basil leaves
two jumbo eggs
one quarter large white onion, diced
six large garlic cloves, diced
olive oil
large pinch dried oregano
large pinch dried thyme
fresh-ground black pepper
fresh-ground long pepper (or some ground nutmeg)
crushed red pepper flakes
one cup dry white wine
one shot Bulleit rye
one large can crushed san marzanos

Sautee the onions in olive oil with oregano, thyme, red pepper flakes, and fresh-ground black pepper until translucent.

Add garlic and continue to sautee until golden brown.

Deglaze with the white wine and boil off the alcohol.

Add the tomatoes, cover, and simmer on low while you do the rest of the shitte, stirring occasionally and salting to taste.

These are the ricotta and mozzarella cheeses. The two cups of ricotta was about one and a half twleve ounce packages (this ricotta is less dense than your typical mass-produced ricotta), and the cup of grated mozzarella was about half this piece (the rest was used for the topping).

Add about half the major fuckeloade of basil to the sauce after it has been cooking for about twenty minutes. Boil the manicotti in salty water for about four minutes, drain, and lay them out on a metal rack of whatever so they don’t stick together to cool.

Combine the ricotta, grated mozzarella, grated hard cheese, the other half of the major fuckeloade of basil (reserving a bit for garnish), the two eggs (after beating them), fresh-ground long pepper (or nutmeg) and salt to taste, and mix very well.

Sauce is done, so turn it off.

Put the filling in a zippy bag, push it all down to one corner, and then cut a little bit of the corner off, to form the filling injector.

Spread a nice generous layer of sauce on the bottom of the baking dish, and sprinkle with some extra tap water.

Use the injector to fill the manicotti and arrange them in a single layer in the baking dish.

Cover with the rest of the sauce and sprinkle with the shot of rye (or bourbon) and also a little tap water. The point of the added tap water sprinkled on the sauce layers is to make sure there is sufficient moisture to come to a boil at the end of the cooking process without drying out the sauce. Grate the ramaining mozzarella and more hard cheese and spread on the top.

Bake at 350 degrees until the liquid at the bottom has boiled for a bit and the topping is toasted, about 45 minutes.

Plate and YUMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  1. RealityBasedSteve says

    Love the recipes too. Made your Chili Verde friday night, outstanding. Your Manicotti looks a lot like mine, my only question is, in the PhysioProf scale of measurement, is a “Major Fuckeloade” a larger or smaller measurement than “Fucketonne”?

    Actually I get a kick out the recipes, shows that it’s not exactly rocket science where everything is factored to the 5th decimal point.

    I can see you on “The Food Network”, having to be bleeped every 30 seconds.


  2. Aquaria says

    You wimp. :P I fill my manicotti the old fashioned way: with a spoon. You put your finger through the bottom, and then push it through from the top until the stuffing touches that finger. I notice you didn’t mention that you want the pasta to be barely al dente as well, so it doesn’t fall apart.

    Try feta instead of ricotta. It gives the filling a little extra kick.

    Another thing to try: Throwing in a chopped onion, about 8 ounces of chopped mushrooms, and one of those largish bags of baby spinach, wilted in some olive oil or butter (frozen spinach will do, in a pinch). Adding all this makes the meal healthier, plus it makes the filling go farther. I can usually get two pans out of the filling, and I freeze one, to have later.

  3. Sxydocma1 says

    I’m disappointed that there is not a photo documenting the “injection” process. It’s like the filling magically gets in there!

  4. superfragilistika says


    I wonder if you are a big, medium or small size. Pretty sure that you are a slender guy or you have a trick for accelerating your metabolism as to not put weight on. I mean, with these gorgeous pasta dishes I would be, for sure, a 180 pounds guy. Very very easily!.

  5. skinnyengineer says

    Love pasta soooooo much, but my stomach just can’t take the carbohydrates and grease! Good news is I am a skinny girl with a pretty nice body so I suppose I shouldn’t complain, but it’s because I would be in some serious pain if I ate that.

  6. RealityBasedSteve says

    Looks brilliant! I’m having a hard time converting it into Australian measurements, though. How big is a ‘major fuckeloade’?

    For some reason Google Convert couldn’t handle it, but I think that it is about 3.5 deciFuckkes.


  7. chrisdevries says

    Yum, I love manicotti; the method I’ve been using for the last decade is very similar to this. In fact, the filling portion is basically the same. However, I usually switch it to a cup each of ricotta and cottage cheese rather than two cups ricotta…I prefer the lumpier texture the cottage cheese creates to the smoothness of pure ricotta. And I use pecorino romano cheese in place of parmigiano-reggiano. THe sauce I make is usually improvised – tomatoes, onion, garlic, oregano, rosemary, thyme and a shitload of olive oil to saute the onion and garlic in. Never tried deglazing with wine, but maybe next time I’ll give it a shot.

  8. says

    you must be from N,Y or New england I say Long Island.the reciept looks great cooking also said Long island,dont wanta guess last name something like real old italian, maybe or greek?
    so what the fuck am i even close?

  9. fuckesatonne says

    What are you talking about, CJ?

    1. Tonjes Farm Dairy is in upstate New York.

    2. Bellwether Farms is “located in the beautiful rolling hills of the Sonoma County coast”. As in, Sonoma County, California.

    So, presumably, CPP is located… somewhere in the USA. Or maybe Canada.

    Wait, the baseball cap gives it all away.

  10. Synfandel says

    I use sheets of fresh lasagna pasta like these. Half of a sheet per manicotto. Just spoon some filling along one edge, roll it up, and place it seam-side-down on the sauce in your baking dish. No precooking of the pasta and no piping required, and the pasta comes out nice and tender—not tough.

  11. says

    Did not see the fucking baseball cap,oh ya, good luck to the yanks this year (fucking yankees) ! Oh ya STL took it last year. Just had to do it being from beantown.Like I asked about the last name,the food is like the cap so,agood fucking dish,(recipe)is a good fucking dish, and you have one.My brother inlaw uses peas in his sauce,can you believe that??

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