Delusional R21 Applicants Wake The Fucke Uppe!

I would like anyone who is planning on submitting an R21 grant application this February or March to take a look at the NIH Data Book page entitled Research and training grants: Success rates by mechanism and selected activity codes. Anyone who is telling you to apply for an R21 because it is a “starter grant” or that it is “easier” to get than an R01 is in fucken la-la-land! Let me summarize for you the success rates for R21s versus R01s over the last few years:

YEAR R01 R21
2006 20% 15%
2007 23% 16%
2008 23% 16%
2009 22% 14%
2010 22% 15%
2011 18% 13%

Reading Scientific Papers

(1) Students and post-docs should be reading shitte tonnes of papers. But the vast majority of them should be from outside the zone of perceived direct relevance to their own work.

(2) Lab heads should be reading essentially no papers themselves.

(3) The above two principles follow from Comradde PhysioProffe’s Axiom of Leverage–every scientist should continuously and ruthlessly judge their activities in terms of how much scientific leverage they are providing and swap out low-leverage for high-leverage activities–and the Lemma of Seniority–what activities are low-leverage versus high-leverage changes dramatically along the scientific career trajectory.


two and a half pounds coarse-ground chuck
two and a half large cans crushed san marzanos
one bottle modelo negra beer
one large splash rye
five dried anaheim (or ancho or guajillo) chiles
three dried chipotle chiles
seven dried arbol chiles
one chopped medium white onion
eight large chopped garlic cloves
one teaspoon cumin
one teaspoon coriander
one teaspoon oregano
one teaspoon black pepper
two bay leaves
olive oil
one can Goya pink beans
baking potatoes
grated cheese
chopped red onion

Start by putting a small pot of water (two or three cups) on to boil, and then remove the stems and seeds of the dried chiles. The arbols are the only ones that add heat, so add more and/or keep some seeds in if you want the shitte hotter. This exact recipe is pretty mild. When the water comes to a boil, turn off the heat and put the chiles in and steep for 30-45 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Sautee the white onion with the cumin, pepper, coriander, and oregano until starting to turn translucent. Then add the garlic, and continue to sautee until completely softened, almost carmelized.

Add the meat, turn the heat way up, and sautee until the meat is browned and almost all of the liquid it exudes has reduced away.

Strain the reconstituted chiles out of the water, and retain the steeping liquid.

Put the chiles and about one to one and a half cups of the steeping liquid in the blender, and blend the living fucke out of it.

Add the beer and a generous splash of rye. Take a few nice swigs of rye, as needed. Reduce until all the EtOH is gone.

Add the chile paste, and stir well to incorporate and reduce a bit.

Add the tomatoes, bring back to a boil, turn the heat down to the lowest setting, cover, and simmer the fucke out of the shitte, stirring every half hour or as needed to prevent sticking/burning on the bottom.

After you have simmered the fucke out of itte for at least two hours or so, and the meat is fully tender, add the can of pink beans (after draining and discarding the bean juice), stir well, and continue to simmer for another forty-five minutes or so while you bake some potatoes.

Put a half baked potato on the dish, ladle on a generous quantity of chili, and top it with chopped red onion and grated cheese. This is Spring Brook Farm tarentaise from Vermont. EATTE!!!!!

Casareccia With Tomato Gorgonzola Sauce (Totally Fucken Vegetarian!)

one pound casareccia pasta
one and two thirds large cans crushed san marzanos
olive oil
half cup diced onion
fucketonne diced garlic
salt and pepper
pinch dried oregano
pinch dried thyme
crushed red pepper flakes
one cup dry white wine
large splash rye
third pound gorgonzola picante (no rind or hard parts)
fuckeloade chopped basil
parmigiano reggiano and pecorino moliterno for grating

Sautee the onions in plenty of olive oil with black pepper, red pepper, thyme, and oregano until starting to get translucent.

Add the garlic and continue to sautee until the garlic is fully softened.

Deglaze with the wine and rye. Chug some rye out of the bottle while waiting for the alcohol to burn off.

Add the tomatoes, turn to lowest setting, and simmer covered for about 45 minutes to an hour, until the tomatoes are all cooked, stirring occasionally.

Add the basil, stir well, and continue to cook for a few minutes, until the basil is fully cooked.

Meanwhile, boil the casaveccia in salty water, and when it is a minute or two before molto al dente, drain it, reserving about three fourths of a cup of pasta water. Put the pasta water and the pasta in the sauce, turn the heat up to medium high, and finish the pasta with gentle stirring for a few minutes.

Turn off the heat, dump in the gorgonzola, and stir well to fully incorporate.

Plate, sprinkle, grate, EATTE ITTEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Disgraceful Stigmatism Of The Mentally Ill

During the run-up to the 2008 national elections, I stupidly signed up for some kind of Democratic National Committee newletter, and now get shitte tonnes of spam e-mail from a bunch of Democratic politicians. Yesterday I received an e-mail from former Democratic Congressman Alan Grayson, who is lauded in some circles for his willingness to “play tough” with Republican scum.

The e-mail–entitled “Iowa: Hand Out The Prozac”–was purporting to “analyze” the results of the Iowa Republican caucuses, by claiming that the Republican voters of Iowa are mentally ill “manic depressives”.

All of those manic depressives, about a third of the vote, were forced to choose among Romney, Santorum, Paul, Gingrich, Perry, Bachmann, Cain and Huntsman.

* * *

I don’t know why this would surprise anyone. Roughly 10% of the population of the United States is on anti-depressants. And only 4% of the population of Iowa actually voted in the 2012 Republican caucuses. Just who did you think those 4% were?

He then went on to make analogies of the Republican voters who chose a given candidate to particular psychiatric disorders.

So now I understand it. Romney won the paranoid vote, everyone who thinks that the brown people are trying to steal all their stuff. Why? Because no one is more white than Mitt Romney. As I said earlier today, it’s as though Romney is on a strict diet of sour cream and cottage cheese, small curds only.

Perry and Bachmann split the schizophrenic vote, all the people who hear a voice in their head, and think that it’s God. Because Perry and Bachmann can listen to the radio whenever they want to, even when it’s turned off.

Ron Paul got the obsessive-compulsive vote, the folks who think that America is like some kind of mechanical wind-up toy, and the Articles of the Constitution are the gears.

And Santorum ended up with the manic-depressive vote. Maybe because they like the way that Santorum cries in public. Boehner was their second choice.

This is absolutely despicable shaming and stigmatizing of people with real mental illnesses. I am sure that the Republican voters of Iowa are no more or less likely to have genuine mental illnesses than the overall population. The issue with the Republican base in Iowa–and all over the United States–isn’t that they are mentally ill, but rather that they are pigge-ignorant greedy racist misogynist homophobic jeezus freak scumbagges who are dragging this country into the fucken gutter.

What Will The Christian Pigge People Do??

Will the delusional sicke-fucke evangelical christian pigge people hold their noses and vote for Romney in the general election, or will they stay home? In addition to being an evil cultist destined to burn in hell for not doing jeezus correctly, the only one of their gross character defects that Romney applauds and reinforces is their vicious greed; he doesn’t really make them feel good about their sick desire to kill fags, niggers, spics, and sluts like the other republicans do.

Some Of My Favorite Blogges

I don’t maintain a bloggerolle, as it’s a pain in the fucken asse to keep up-to-date and no one uses them to find links to new blogges, anyway. But I thought I’d post links to some of my favorite non-famous blogges:

Tenured Radical
Roxie’s World
Reassigned Time
Notorious, PhD
Field Negro
Isis the Scientist
Aurelio Barattini
Behind The Stick
Capital Gains and Games
Captain Awkward
Blue Gal
We Are Respectable Negroes
Grumpy Rumblings
I Blame The Patriarchy
Kaz’s Underworld
Mark Fiore Animations
Zen Comix
Princess Sparkle Pony