Fucke Christmas And Tim Tebow

I hate motherfucken christmas, and I can’t wait until I don’t have to hear that goddamn motherfucken grating christmas shitte music anymore until next fucken year, when the goddamn fucken shitte starts the fucke up again like a motherfucken goddamn clockwork of hell.

Oh, and by the way, fucke Tim Tebow too, with his goddamn motherfucken sanctimonious displays of his goddamn jeezus shitte. The only reason such a big goddamn motherfucken deal is made of his “faith” is because he’s a goddamn fucken white motherfucker. Black football dudes have been professing their stupid bullshit jeezus shitte for motherfucken *years*, and no one wanted to canonize them. But just because some big stupid lily-white asshole motherfucker does the same goddamn thing, it means something special? Because a bunch of stupid goddamn motherfucken racist white-ass jeezus freak shitteheads are suddenly impressed with what a “nice young christian man” he is? I.E., “not a goddamn nigger” like all those other jeezus freak football players?


  1. Kate from Iowa says

    What might be really fun to watch would be the reaction if a Nation of Islam er…faithful player (seriously, what the fuck do we call them, since the Muslims say they’re not Muslim?) chose to thank Allah, Elijah Muhammad and Minister Farrakhan for his touchdowns…

  2. Katkinkate says

    Don’t hold back now. Tell us how you really feel.

    Actually I agree with you. Xmas is annoying. All/most of my favourite webcomics, blogs, radio shows (I don’t watch TV) take the holidays off and life gets a little more boring and the forced cheerfulness is … also annoying. I breath a sigh of relief once the New Year’s Day is over.

  3. says

    I love Christmas, but man, the Tebow chatter out here in Denver is much more annoying than even The Little Drummer Boy and Feliz Navidad played a million times.

    Tebow is also a *Celebrity Christian* because his mother allegedly contemplated aborting him when she got pregnant. So, besides the whiteness, there’s the whole “magic baby” angle, too.

  4. says

    I’m all about Fucke Christmas, I hate this shit so bad I want to punch someone.How do you say, Fucking Shite? It starts in fucking , motherfucking, September now!

    Peel some potatoes,chop and fry the shit out of them with onion,add salt and pepper with a good dose of chili powder, also, fry the shit out of some thin cut pork chops until they are crunchy on the outside with the same spices,sweet and tasty at the bone and drink a buttload of whiskey.
    Green beans, bread and butter, a good beer and forget about Christmas dude.

    Happy New Year, so we can do it all over again.

    That shite trancends Christmas any time of year.

  5. jakc says

    I love Christmas, as long as we remember he’s not the reason for the season. As for Genie, the Broncos are 7-1 with Tebow, but have only outscored teams by 2 points in that stretch. The 8-0 Packers have outscored teams by more than 130. The Broncos have been winning in spite of Tebow, not because of Tebow. I imagine some of it catches up this week against New England.

  6. Bob says

    Tim Tebow is no different than a child acting out and demanding attention for their antics. Do your incomplete passes mean God alternately hates you, or likes the members of the opposing team better?

    The whole “I chose life!” bit pushed by Pam Tebow is utter nonsense. Wow, you chose life – so do thousands of other women around the world, every day. You are not special. Get over it.

    Beyond that, you’re good at football. Yay, Timmy. Now stop rubbing your ‘God-given talent’ in my face. (I suck at sports. Am I being punished by God? Wait, God gave us all different gifts? Then like I said, stop flogging it in front of everybody.)

  7. anon says

    haha – I got this from a savvy friend of mine:

    “In the General Court of Massachusetts, May 11, 1659: For preventing disorders, arising in several places within this jurisdiction by reason of some still observing such festivals as were superstitiously kept in other communities, to the great dishonor of God and offense of others: it is therefore ordered by this court and the authority thereof that whosoever shall be found observing any such day as Christmas or the like, either by forbearing of labor, feasting, or any other way, upon any such account as aforesaid, every such person so offending shall pay for every such offence five shilling as a fine to the county.”

    I don’t know whether this was ever overturned or enforced (which it certainly isn’t by now).

  8. Tom McCann says

    OK. I know this solution is not exactly convenient for everyone, but come and live in New Zealand. This will be my 2nd xmas here and it is pretty much invisible. Only one shop in my local town has spray paint decorations in the window, and so far nobody has wished me happy christmas. Excellent.

    I think people celebrate it here, but its a one day celebration rather than a 2-month ordeal. Oh, and it helps that it’s hot as hell at this time of year (big grin).

  9. oldebabe says

    Let’s hear a loud `hurrah’ for the response in New Zealand, which, STMTB most acceptable. The celebration nonsense, both religious, raditional, and economic, has been ratcheting up for years. It’s good to know there’s one place where it’s just what it is: just another day.

  10. I amafreeman says

    Great commentary and awesome responses! It is so goddamn nice to know I am not alone. Bad enough that there is still so much anti-semitism in this country and around the world, now just proclaim you are not into this christianity bullshit as well and watch the shit hit the fan! Absolutely amazed that we “non-believers” (logical thinkers) aren’t hung from every fucking tree in the land like so many ORNAMENTS!!

    I celebrate the ancient Celtic Yuletide; the solstice and the perhelion(?) of the planet in its orbit. As a Celt, I get to have the Yuletide Tree, the burning of the Youle log, holly wreaths and such, and a great special fucking meal with my clan members – all while acknowledging the passing of time, my home’s journey around its star, and my existence in the wondrous midst of all that is, and my responsibilities and debt to life, as well as my INALIENABLE right to be free.

    Happy Yuletide

  11. says

    Christmas bothers me less these days. Mostly because the horror that is Pioneer Day is a thousand times worse than christmas ever has been.

    It only happens in Utah, and it is a way bigger deal than the 4th of July (though it happens in the same month). A bunch of mormons have a parade and set off fireworks and dress up like pioneers to celebrate mormon arrival in utah. The schools here scrub any mention of the actual journey from the books so people don’t realize they are celebrating the arrival of people who left at the worst possible time of year(causing them to endure a harsh winter), forbade boiling their drinking water(same doctrine that makes mormons avoid coffee), and who used faulty handcarts to try and haul their shit across the continent. Brigham young had been extensively warned against doing all those things and took his flock of dutiful mormon underlings out to die anyway. The best part is that the territory they settled in officially belonged to Mexico at that time, and was populated by aboriginal people. Utahans nowadays are racist as fuck against both groups, especially “illegals”. SO yeah. Christmas is stupid and all, but I have thicker skin after a couple of years of seeing people dance and cheer their ancestors needlessly dying of frostbite and cholera while stealing mexican land.

  12. satan augustine says

    Ah fucken hate Christmas mahsel! Ah hate it mair each year. Ah hated the fucken shite before ah was an atheist! What was it yon ole Scrooge sais?:

    If I could work my will every idiot who goes about with “Merry Christmas” on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!”

    Aye. Too fucken right!

  13. says

    I fucken love christmas because I get a week off work. I wish we were more ecumenical so i got some fucken time off for Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur and fucken Divali and Eid too. Fucking awesome!!

    Praise Jesus! Wheres my fucken vacation bonus assholes?!

  14. h. hanson says

    I did not see this til the day after xmas. It sure makes me feel better about my own bad attitude.
    I would like to be put in a coma after thanksgiving and then awaken on Jan 2.
    Thanks for cheering me up.

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