Shrimp Fusilli


one pound medium shrimp, cut into thirds
one pound fusilli
one fucketonne garlic, minced
half-bottle dry white wine
two bottles clam juice
extra virgin olive oil
some fresh sage, chopped fine
generous splash corenwijn
salt & peppa to taste

Sautee the garlic on low-medium heat until translucent (don’t scorche the shitte!).

Throw in the shrimp, and turn the heat up to medium-high.

Add fresh ground black peppa, sautee until just cooked, and then remove the shrimp with a slotted spoon and set aside.

Deglaze with the generous splashe of corenwijn, and then adde the white wine, clam juice, and sage, turn heat to high, and allow to reduce on high while you boil the fusilli (for twelve minutes).

With one minute left on the pasta, turn the heat to low-medium and throw the shrimp back in.

Drain the pasta (don’t fucken rinse it, asshole!), put it in the pot with the shrimp and shitte, turn the heat to high, and stir while the liquid reduces/incorporates into the pasta, for about two minutes.


Maybe you thinke itte’s blasphemous to put cheese on seafood, but this shitte really benefittes from a little freshly grated parmigiano reggiano, so fucke you.


  1. says

    De Cecco Fusilli is my FAVORITE!!

    Also, for the record, I do not think it’s blasphemous to put cheese on seafood. There’s an evil douchebag restaurant in the East Village that has a big note on its menu that says, “Cheese is not meant to go on seafood, and therefore, we will not give you grated cheese for your seafood pasta dishes. If you absolutely MUST have cheese on your seafood pasta, it will cost you $5.” I fucking hate that place.

  2. Dr. Crazy says

    I want you to have some fresh herbs on top of it for some color, but that’s just because I can only look at it and can’t eat it. I’d be much less picky if I could eat it.

  3. ginger says

    Uh, I make a fantastic stuffed calamari sauce from a recipe (loose instructions, really) handed down from my Nana, whose people were from Basilicata. The stuffing is herbed breadcrumbs and grated hard cheese, Pecorino or Parmesan. A little more on top makes it taste even better, enhancing the balance between the sweet-tart tomato sauce and the moderate fishiness of squid, and I serve it like that because Nana said to.

    I would put money on my Nana against any snotty East Village chef. Well, okay, except she’s no longer among us.

  4. jc says

    My nana would smack your hand with the wooden spoon if you tried to rinse pasta.

    Howzboute some moode musik?

  5. veganrampage says

    Yeah, that shit about cheese and seafood is total bollocks. As a recovering chef I testify there are many MANY great recipes that contain both. Idiot snobs read that once in their lives and stick to it as if it were dogma.
    You might try mixing pink and white peppercorns with the black for a full and subtle taste elevation. I know it’s no great revelation it’s just that I’d forgotten how much I love that stuff, and since I got a batch to grind fresh I can’t stop using it.
    Whole wheat pasta is good too.

  6. BikeMonkey says

    WTF moron decided no cheese on seafood pasta?

    And yeah, you need something green on this. Shoulda garnished with sage, dumbeasse.

    (Can’t you get decent fresh pasta where you live? That driedup box shitte is naste)

  7. BikeMonkey says

    Oh and whole wheat pasta is only “good” if you favor “crimes against all humanity”.

  8. Phledge says

    Poem About Garlic

    No matter how many times I pushe the buttonnes,
    my kitchen scale will not read in fucketonnes.

  9. says

    LMAO @ Phledge’s poem!

    And I had no idea I wasn’t supposed to put cheese on seafood. Everything is better with cheese, goddammit.

    I’d dunk a swordfish steak in a fondue pot if the damn thing would stay on the little fork.

  10. says

    WTF, no cheese on seafood? The owner of that lame East Village hell-hole must be lactose intolerant and very bitter.

    Looks fantastic, CPP.

  11. says

    Whenever I see shrimp I think of that episode of Blood, Sweat, and Take Out where a bunch of middle class british people have to harvest prawns and totally break down under the pressure.

  12. Isabel says

    Nails are you still hanging out here? Haven’t you figured out yet that “Comrade” Physioprof is a tool of the oligarchy, just like his friends Twisty and Tenured “Radical”? I thought you were finally catching on.

    He’s a sexist to boot – he is threatened by my radical ideas, so he calls me a loon, knowing how society looks at women who stand up for themselves and dare to speak out and take on unpopular views.

  13. Funky Fresh says

    Radical? Isn’t there an entire southeastern mountain range where the people share Isabel’s views?

  14. El Picador says

    Yes, Funkster, but they have no Internet there. Something about ‘damn revenoo agents” I believe.

  15. Isabel says

    And Funky Fresh and El Picador are apparently bigots.

    You guys talking about those poor Appalachians who are running the country again? Who have all the good New York liberals hands tied? Now that’s a reasonable outlook on life, sure it is.

  16. Isabel says

    And now “Tenured Radical” has censored my comment! BikeMonkey thinks the right wing is repressing talk of a class war. Yet after not getting a response to my comment/question on TR’s unintelligible post about affirmative action at Wesleyan,I wrote the following, which just disappeared after a day or so (she refers to Wesleyan as Zenith):

    Isabel said…

    Hmm, tenured radical is not responding…

    Meanwhile, I am still trying to wrap my head around this comment

    2. The vast majority of people of color in this country are working class.

    3. 70% of the students at Zenith are white.”

    What does that mean?

    The truth is, most of the students may be white but they are not working class. In fact, according to my cursory internet research, most are upper-middle class, or higher. So, it’s an elitist school that obviously discriminates against the lower classes.

    So, whenever lower class whites are discriminated against (such as your colonial example and now at “Zenith”) they become “resentful” rather than happy for those who are being “raised up” instead.

    Gee what a surprise. How unreasonable of those evil, ignorant racists! *They* are obviously the problem!

    Exactly what is so radical about your message? You seem to be a tool of the oligarchy, like “Comrade” (hahahaha) Physioprof.


  17. Funky Fresh says

    Hey, Isa-hell. You know this is a post about shrimp pasta, right? Sounds to me like someone needs her own damned blog.

  18. Isabel says

    You read it, didn’t you? So who cares where I posted it? “comrade” Physioprof is a rich white male bully who keeps spreading lies about me so why should I care about respecting his space or whatever? He has a lot of readers, so it gets the words out.

  19. Isabel says

    But then I would have to spread a lot of time and energy establishing a readership and would probably end up 1) mostly preaching to the choir and 2) dealing constantly with trolls like you lot.

  20. El Picador says

    Shrimp Fusilli is an effete dish favored by out of touch, elite coastal liberal oligarchy apologists, Funkster!

  21. Katharine says

    We have better things to do than troll your blog. I don’t think this is a bilateral phenomenon, though.

  22. Isabel says

    so you say, yet, here you are again, with nothing to contribute. Just an idle desire to be an asshole. What a surprise.

  23. Isabel says

    Right. Lower class people have all the rights and privileges of the upper classes. It’s common sense!

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