Hardball!? Are You Fucking Kidding Me!?!?!?

Here’s an excerpt from Hardball host Chris Matthews talking about Barack Obama’s response to the pantie-bomber:

My idea of a president, my idea of a mayor, a police chief is exactly the same. In fact, the job I‘ve always wanted was police commissioner of Philly, OK? I want to be the guy standing on the curb when there‘s a big fire. I want to be there when the reporters come by and says, What happened here? Have you got things under control? How many engines you got here? Are you going to put it out in an hour or what? I want to see a president on the job. I love that stuff.

This motherfucker is supposed to be a hard-boiled incisive no-bullshit commentator on the political scene whose motherfucking show is called Hardball!?!?!?!?!? Yeah, right. I bet this juvenile asshole goes to sleep every night in fireman footie fucking pajamas hugging his stuffed firetruck. What a fucking pathetic douchebag.

(h/t Digby.)

Nation Of Spoiled Children

God forbid the motherfucking President of the United States might have the unmitigated motherfucking gall to schedule the motherfucking State of the Union Address during some motherfucking teevee drivelshit. But thank motherfucking god, potential disaster has been averted:

Good news for fans of ”Lost” — the president doesn’t plan to mess up the television show’s season premiere.

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs says he doesn’t foresee a scenario in which President Barack Obama’s State of the Union address will fall on Feb. 2, the same night the show’s final season debuts.

Have we no fucking shame? No shame at all?

Pantswetting Millionaire Douchebags

In speaking with pilots, flight attendents, and a few TSA personnel since the pantie-bomber incident, the consensus seems to be that the national-level reaction to this incident is *grossly* overblown. These people deal with air travel every fucking day, and they have a realistic sense for the magnitude of the already vanishingly small risk we are talking about and the absurdity of spending umpteen bajillion fucking dollars and submitting to routine cavity searches to reduce it infinitesimally further.

The only people who seem to be in a pantswetting uproar are dumfuck coddled millionaire Villager teevee blitherers. Their reasons for this are two-fold:

(1) Discussion of “danger” and “security” and “war” and “cavity searches” and “racial profiling” and “muslim extremists” gives these mostly-white-d00d wealthy celebrity teevee smegwads a big massive thrilling stiffy and makes them feel important.

(2) The more inconvenience and indignity the shitty proles undergo while traveling, the more superior these somewhat wealthy celebrity teevee smegwads feel and thus can forget for a little while that that they are really just powerless bourgeois assholes lovingly tonguing the ballsacks of the infinity bajillionaire corporate oligarchs whose bidding they do.

Dreams of Academe

One of the great things about being an academic is that you don’t have to actually take courses and study for exams to continue for the rest of your life regularly waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat from a nightmare in which you HAVE AN EXAM AND YOU FORGOT YOU WERE EVEN TAKING THE COURSE AND YOU DIDN’T STUDY AND YOU ARE NAKED AND YOUR TEETH ARE FALLING OUT AND ALL YOU HAVE IS A LITTLE BLUNT PENCIL AND NO FUCKING SHARPENER!!!