Render down some double-smoked bacon, and then sautee finely chopped onions and celery in the grease. Add a bunch of canned chopped clams and bottles of clam juice and bring to a boil. Add a bay leaf, some dried thyme, and a fuckton of ground black pepper. Add a few cups of 1/4 inch pieces of cubed potato, simmer for about 40 minutes, and then put in a couple dozen scrubbed little-neck clams. Boil until the clams open. Eat the shit. With motherfucking Jameson, obviously!