Kent Hovind has been dealing with some legal issues lately — in particular, he had a court date to argue about this restraining order his ex-wife filed against him. Atheist Jr dug up the documents Hovind filed to support his claim that, oh yeah, he has definitely been obeying the restrictions. It’s clear he’s acting as his own lawyer.
Here’s a pdf of his defense. It’s a step above submitting it in crayon, I’ll admit, but it’s repetitive and indignant and petty, and contains maps with circles and arrows, and testimonials from the culties at his church camp, including one from his “wife”, Sandra Hovind (it’s not clear whether he was legally divorced from any of his string of partners, or if they made any binding commitment to each other). It’s signed Dr. Kent Hovind
, so it’s all built around false testimony and ought to be thrown out on that basis.
You’d think he’d have learned by now that having a real lawyer to help with your case would bring a little knowledge and professionalism to the affair.
Circles and arrows and a paragraph on each one ‘splaining what each one was?
He deserves the lawyer he’s got.
That screengrab looks like the last paragraph. Is the first paragraph,
“Hi, I’m Kent Hovind.” ?
Isn’t there some law against calling yourself a “doctor” when you aren’t? Dr. Demento was better educated than this clown and he was an actual clown.
What function does he think “hereby” is playing in his “I hereby request” phrase?
Any 8×10 color glossy photographs?
The real problem is that a real lawyer is going to want to get paid, and some of that is going to have to be up front. Does Hovind actually have that sort of money?
Thanks for the the PDF, PZ, but rather than read it I just wanna ride my motorsickle.
(If anybody out there is scratching their head about some of these comments, just look up Arlo Guthrie and Alice’s Restaurant in Wikipedia.)
@5 He’s hoping he will thereby impress the reader with his fancy lawyer talk.
@3 “Hi, I’m Kent Hovind. You might remember me from such films as ‘Dinosaurs and the Bible’ or ‘Evolution: The Foundation for Communism, Socialism and the New World Order’.” Maybe he has a second career waiting for him endorsing nutritional supplements.
@PaulBC #9:
Hovind’s next career change will start shortly after his pending appeal is heard, and likely involve breaking rocks.
Kent resembles Cerebus from Church and State more each day. “God demands you give me all your money.”
” I don’t wanna die
Just wanna ride my motorcy………..cle”
As bad as when that Stupid Idiot Trump tries to make a case for himself in Court, isn’t it?
“You’d think he’d have learned by now…”
Nah, I’m aware enough of Hovind to know that he’s pathologically incapable of learning anything. Seriously, I think there’s something wrong in his brain. This is not a normal level of cultivated ignorance.
Some of Trump’s discarded lawyers might be available…
I hear he’s got a job offer as a lawyer for Trump and the Trump (dis)Organization.
And I really need to read all the way to the bottom before commenting. Though, the other jokes were not identical, so, I guess I got away with it?
“I hereby request…” and the other language in the excerpt is probably Kent trying to imitate his idea of what a lawyer would write, i.e. something he heard on TV. Yes, he should hire a lawyer, but I’m guessing he can’t afford a real lawyer much less a good one. Trump, who can afford real lawyers, can’t seem to hire good lawyers that are any better than Kent but that’s partly because he doesn’t pay them.
I note that Hovind is claiming “entrapment” and cites a definition that specifies that it is something done by an officer or someone under their control. As stated, that definition wouldn’t apply to his ex.
Owosso Harpist@13 Trump can pardon himself just by thinking it. so no need for a protracted court proceeding.
Trump’s ability to think at all has not been demonstrated.
@whheydt
You’d be amazed at the amount of donations he receives. Unfortunately.
@Crip Dyke, #5,
I think the “hereby” is there to indicate that hereby Hovind’s pronouncements are to be “enshrined in law”.
LOL
Louis
Hovind’s grift is identical, has always been identical, and always will be identical to every grift of his. Religion, law, and politics serve the interests of Kent Hovind. What ever that might be at the specific moment. Whatever lie, whatever non-sequitur, whatever the faux outrage at his being a “victim” of systems like the law, it’s all just in the moment. If it serves his ego or wallet it’s true, if it doesn’t it’s false.
Louis
Ah , the smarminess is strong in this one . I can’t watch him he’s too slimy . Makes me feel like I need a bath and that was before I found out he was a wife batterer.