This timeline is increasingly insane


I read this story and thought it was too stupid to be The Onion, but maybe was pointless enough to the Babylon Bee…but no! It’s from the Daily Beast!

Far-right provocateur and former Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos has found a new gig: Capitol Hill intern for MAGA firebrand Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Yiannopoulos, 37, posted to Telegram on Monday morning a photo of what appeared to be a newly issued congressional badge, placed atop a Louis Vuitton briefcase.

“I’ve finally been persuaded out of retirement,” wrote the British right-wing media troll. “But my skills are a bit rusty, so the best role I could land was an unpaid internship with a friend. Pray for me!”

He added: “Mummy always said I’d end up in government.”

Yiannopoulos didn’t respond to a request for comment. But in a statement provided via her spokesperson, Rep. Greene confirmed to The Daily Beast that Yiannopoulos is interning in her office.

“So I have an intern that was raped by a priest as a young teen, was gay, has offended everyone at some point, turned his life back to Jesus and Church, and changed his life,” Greene told The Daily Beast. “Great story!”

I had to check other sources, because this is nuts. Mediaite? Check. Vice? Check. Newsweek? Check. Forbes? Check. Salon? Check. Washington Post? Check.

There’s no avoiding the truth here. The circus is in town, and the clowns have set up shop in the capitol.

I picture all the writers at the satire sites throwing up their heads in despair, and crying at their desks.

Comments

  1. angoratrilobite says

    No idea who he is but if MTG thinks he’d make a great intern, then he must be a racist, homophobic asshat.

    Love the picture you chose, though. The look suits her.

  2. Akira MacKenzie says

    WHAT?!?! That sniveling shit is 37? He’s only ten-years younger than I am and has amassed so much power and wealth by being an obnoxious, bigoted, creep while I’ve been living paycheck-to-paycheck from a series of dead-end call-center jobs since my mid-twenties?

    It doesn’t pay to be an honest citizen. Pardon me, but I’m going to go cry in a dark room somewhere.

  3. mordred says

    @3
    Does Milo really got that much power and wealth? Didn’t really follow his “career” but I think he his hate-selling hasn’t gone so well in recent years. He does seem pretty desperate for attention.

  4. birgerjohansson says

    Worthless?
    Naah. When Dumpf is re-elected he will make a fine boss for some nationwide brownshirt group (the leading positions in the Department of truth are long since set aside for Fox News characters. Propaganda requires skill).

  5. Ada Christine says

    @3

    you get the peace of mind knowing that your metaphorical soul is intact. at least for me, i couldn’t possibly live with myself if my living was based on being a liar and a shitheel.

    also call center drones unite

  6. robro says

    Milo found Jesus and stopped being gay? I missed that change. Or did he stop saying he’s gay so he can work for homophobic idiots like MTG? Anyway, I think he’s a great addition to MTG’s shit show…I mean organization. Perhaps as intern he’ll be cleaning those peach tree dishes.

  7. Ada Christine says

    @10

    afaik he doesn’t deny being gay, but being a gay person who expresses violent hatred of the “other, bad” gay people makes him an attractive spokesmonster for the conservative clownshow

  8. microraptor says

    mordred @5: The only issues his career as a hate-mongering asshole has had are the increasing competition.

  9. Akira MacKenzie says

    @ 10 & 11

    He claims that’s he’s now “celibate,” admitting that he’s gay but not having all that hot, sinful, man-on-man lovin’.

  10. whheydt says

    Re: Akira MacKenzie @ #13…
    Perhaps because all the potential partners look upon him with loathing because of everything else he is and has done? Kind of like the incels, but gay.

  11. jsrtheta says

    There’s an audio writer who used to respond to any criticism by calling the critic an “opportunist”. And I always immediately thought “You keep using that word…”, because there was actually no particular benefit to be gained by criticizing this jerk.

    But here we have two poster children for the term “opportunist”. Both of them run to the microphones the second they see them to bloviate and raise their visibility. Both of them are totally useless people, who benefit no one and have no desire to approach any issue constructively, because they can’t. Neither of them will improve any situation: they can only make things worse.

    It’s a perfect match.

  12. birgerjohansson says

    The clown makeup would be a fit for “It” but that entity was a cosmic horror instead of a bland hack
    It might also be a fit for The Joker, but that character had a certain panache and was not afraid of taking physical risks.
    I think it would have been a better fit if Elmer Gantry had worn clown makeup. Or Tricky Dick.

  13. brightmoon says

    Perfect look for MTG but why insult clowns?. Clowns are entertaining at least. She’s just scarily stupid. I still love Randy Rainbow’s parody of her while sounding like Streisand’s Evergreen.

  14. says

    Ariaflame@13, they’re still together, but Milo claims they’re just roommates at this point. Which is probably bullshit.

    He’s apparently soliciting money for a conversion therapy clinic. I suspect the only thing converted will be other people’s money into his money.

  15. robro says

    timgueguen @ #19 — “Milo claims they’re just roommates at this point. Which is probably bullshit.” I think you’re being too generous with the “probably”. Wonder how his roommate feels about the change in their relationship.

  16. wobbly says

    Robro@20
    I was just about to say similar. Let’s keep in mind that Milo is an individual whose initial rise to prominence came when they did a complete 180 on their assertion that video game players were a bunch of pathetic “beta males” and children until they saw wealthy patrons like Steve Bannon who were willing to provide cash and a platform to anyone willing to help court angry white male gamers into the alt-right ideology by way of the recent GamerGate phenomena.

    Milo has always been a mercenary, ideologically and morally empty outside of a seemingly generalized dedication towards being a specifically right-wing provocateur, presumably because they realize that in the current US political climate being a conservative agitator is where the money/power/attention largely lies.

  17. Pierce R. Butler says

    The ball is now in Lauren Boebert’s court: will her new intern be Kyle Rittenhouse, George Zimmerman, or $[other monster]?

    (Salvador Ramos apparently remains unavailable for an indefinite period.)

    Tune in next week for the appalling answer!

  18. PaulBC says

    OT but how about poor widdle Kyle “I killed two guys but I’m the real victim” Rittenhouse? Every time he gets accepted to a university he’s bumped to a timeline where it didn’t actually happen.

  19. Akira MacKenzie says

    @ 24

    I’m sure he’s hoping his fellow gun nuts can try to intimidate Texas A&M into accepting him.

  20. Owlmirror says

    Does anyone want place bets on what will end this particular circus of trolling?

    1) MTG’s homophobia
    2) MY’s misogyny
    3) MY’s efforts to make money out of this somehow
    4) Something else?

  21. Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach says

    And here I was stupid enough to think that him publicly endorsing pedophilia was bad enough to keep him out of the spotlight forever. Wishful thinking I guess.

    I hate Musk, but damn is Mars looking good right about now.

  22. robro says

    Owlmirror @ #26 — You missed one very important possibility which I guess is a #4: MTG’s efforts to make money out of her show. If her $$ backers say dump Milo, he will be toast.

  23. silvrhalide says

    @3 Here, this will make you feel better.
    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2018/dec/03/milo-yiannopoulos-more-than-2m-in-debt-australian-promoters-documents-show

    https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2018/12/5/18125507/milo-yiannopoulos-debt-no-platform

    @27 He is not an American citizen, he has a O-1B visa, which is a work visa. Which means that if he’s out of work, he’s also out of here.
    https://www.thewrap.com/could-milo-be-deported-an-immigration-attorney-explains/
    which begs the question: is his husband/platonic roommate American? If so, he may be able to stay in the US on a marriage visa. But lack of sexual relations is generally grounds for divorce or annulment… :D
    Also, Married Filing Separately is the most unfavorable filing status of all when it comes to taxes…
    however IF they stay married, officially, then the hubby could be on the hook for Milo’s debts… when you file your federal taxes, any tax debt is considered joint, a stance that may be applicable to other situations, like having joint assets foreclosed or seized to pay outstanding debts that aren’t necessarily tax debts.

    @27 Forget Mars. If we are going to send anyone, it should be Milo. He will arrive irradiated and sterile and the Earth will be a better place for his absence.

    @10 I honestly hope Milo stays on with MTG for a long time… they’re both selfish, solipsistic, self-aggrandizing assholes who will throw anyone under a bus if it serves them. The damage they can do to each other is incalculable. Really, the sky is the limit. Should make the Johnny-Amber thing look like Seurat’s A Sunday Afternoon
    Also, neither Milo nor MTG has money. The fines for not wearing a mask in Congress ate MTG’s entire Congressional salary. Which means she’s living off of her PAC and campaign money.

    @26 Something else? Maybe MTG will accidentally shoot him with that ridiculous gun after (as an unpaid intern) he sets up some inanimate object for MTG to shoot in those ridiculous political ads.

    @23 Two tops or two bottoms? Are they ostensibly supporting the LGTBQ+ community or the BDSM community? It’s Austria, this could be their version of trying.

  24. silvrhalide says

    Akira, if your current job is that awful, go get a federal government job. An actual federal job, not some unpaid internship for some overprivileged Capitol Hill asshat. Everybody needs somebody to answer the phones. The pay scale will still be awful but you can’t beat the benefits with a stick. Also, where else are you going to get an actual pension in these perilous times? Retiring from federal service means keeping federal benefits (healthcare) and never having to go on Medicare. It’s a good place to go for career rehab.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2022/02/18/fidelity-401k-millionaires/

  25. Louis says

    Akira @3,

    I have often wondered what turning to the Dark Side purely for profit would be worth. Be it creationism, homeopathy, extremist right wing politics, or merely exploiting the gullible, bigoted and afraid…but I repeat myself.

    There’s gold in them thar’ grifts.

    Sure, I’d destroy my international reputation as a famous top drawer scientist (wait what?). Granted, my well known integrity would be smashed to smithereens (sorry…what now?). And I admit it would be hard to live with my conscience from, the deck of my mega yacht…

    …erm. Excuse me, I believe I may have stumbled upon a plan with no drawbacks.

    Now, have I told you about my new uber-dilute nootropic remedy? It upsets the libtards because it’s made from pure bible and fake dinosaur bones. Turns gay people straight, boosts your IQ, and repels black people away from voting booths! Only £99.99 for 1 week’s supply, and you get a free mug that says “Climate Change is a Feminist Hoax”.

    Nah. Too realistic. Damn it’s impossible to satirise these fuckers.

    Louis